Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Breaking News! Pontiff In Major Spread, Popemobile Giveaway

Oprah Lands Pope Benedict XVI For Huge Tell-All Over Muslim Flap

Either Apology or Conversion To Islam Promised In Teasers; Pontiff Turned Down By CBS News Free Speech

Scoring over every other news, cable news, talk or magazine show, Harpo Productions announced this morning that their mega media star Oprah Winfrey has landed embattled Pope Benedict XVI for the “Oprah Show”, set to air, over two-days, during the November Sweeps.

The deal with Pope Benedict will be a cross-promotional one, with an interview and photo spread running in “O, The Oprah Magazine”, Oprah’s publication. Harpo would not confirm or deny speculation that a precedent will take place, with the Pope appearing on the cover of the magazine, which has, since its inception, featured Ms. Winfrey. Sources in Oprah’s Angel Network are reporting that the two will appear together.

No details of the agreement between Oprah and Pope Benedict were released.

Sources close to the “Oprah Show” say that the programs have already been taped, with the Pope being secretly flown into Chicago, and hosted at Oprah’s private residence for security purposes.

Teasers provided to The Garlic hint that either another, stronger apology to Muslims from the Pope will be the “money” segment, or Oprah may have the scoop of the century, with the Pope announcing his conversion to Islam.

Pope Benedict has come under fire, with fierce Muslim anger growing against him since last week, after giving a speech at Germany's University of Regensburg, which quoted a 14th Century Christian emperor who said the Prophet Muhammad had brought the world only "evil and inhuman" things.

With a certain amount of irony, after being installed as Pope, Benedict sought to build “bridges of friendships”, and viewed making terrorism the major focus of his dialogue, with Muslims.

The Pope has since apologized for the remark, saying he was "deeply sorry" and that the remark does not reflect his personal views. The Vatican, and Pope, has offered at least three statements and apologies in an attempt to quell the protests and furor that has erupted around the world.

Violence has broken out in the Middle East and yesterday, Chinese Muslims added to the growing chorus denouncing the Pope.

Some Muslims are asking, and demanding, that as a show of sincerity, and good faith, that the Pope convert immediately to Islam. The latest call to convert came from the elder son of Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi, Mohammed Gaddafi.

For Oprah, all this gives the promise of sky-high ratings

In addition to the two-day television interview, and the magazine spread, sources say that Oprah, and her friend Gayle King, have filmed new footage of their “Oprah and Gayle’s Big Adventure”, with Oprah behind the wheel of the Popemobile.

Another source is telling The Garlic that Oprah, much like her highly publicized promotion with Pontiac in 2004, has struck a deal with Mercedes-Benz and DaimlerChrysler, and will give audience members of the Pope’s taping their very own Popemobile.

All of this adds up to a huge loss for new CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric.

Reportedly, in a situation similar to that of ‘HBO's Real Time with Bill Maher’ host Bill Maher, the Pontiff was turned down for a spot in the ‘Free Speech’ segment Couric and CBS news offers, over the issue that the Pope would be speaking about religion.

In landing the scoop of Pope Benedict XVI, Oprah Winfrey, and her friend Gayle King, were able to shoot footage for their "Oprah and Gayle's Big Adventure" driving around in the Popemobile

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