Top Ten Cloves: Ideas For Mayor Dave Bing To Save Detroit

News Item: Mayor of Detroit welcomes any ideas to save troubled city

10. Tell those 400 Super Bowl Fans who got mushed, that you won't let them down, that you have 400 seats for them in Detroit

9. Get on the phone with Dolly Parton and see if the two of you can brainstorm "Detroitwood"

8. Help out the Egyptian protesters and see if President Hosni Mubarak would be interested in one of those $1,000 houses

7. Recruit LeBron James, so we can hear "... I'm bringing my talents to the Motor City"

6. Beat her to the punch and trademark the name "Sarah Palin",. you'll make millions

5. Hire Keith Olbermann!

4. Announce that you're bringing in Christina Aguilera to sing 'The Star-Spangled Banner' at all sporting events in Detroit - People will flock to the city, to see if she flubs the lyrics again.

3. Work out a deal with Faux News, and Glenn Beck, and offer Detroit as the first line of defense against the coming Caliphate

2. Call Tim Armstrong and see if AOL is still in the buying mood

1. Run a commercial: "Detroit ... Apply directly to your forehead ... Detroit ... Apply directly to your forehead"

Bonus Riffs

Noonan Gives Palin, McCain A "Full Detroit"

In The "Holy Cow" Dept; Denver Homeless Getting The Noonan "Full Detroit"

Pennies From Loomis!

Well, actually, a lot more than pennies ...

Try, about $160,000!

You gotta love stories like this, and it comes with a H/T to Maria Stuart, over on Open Salon.

It’s raining dead presidents in Detroit

It’s been a week since motorists and passersby competed with armored truck crews and police for money that landed like litter along the I-75/Chrysler freeway in Detroit.

It was about 8:30 a.m. on June 11 when a Loomis armored car transporting an unknown amount of cash lost part of its load, reportedly newly printed $20 and $100 bills. No one’s yet sure how it happened. The freeway was closed for about an hour as Loomis crews and police recovered as much of the cash as they could.

But they had competition. According to news reports, dozens of motorists and passersby scrambled along the freeway to grab up as much money as they could.

In the end, there’s $160,000 missing.

The Detroit News called it a "Freeway Lottery", "as dozens of drivers stopped to compete with Loomis guards in scooping up scads of cash lying on the roadway and in the waist-high grass leading to the service drive."

Stuart's post goes on to say that Loomis offered a 10% reward for any money returned, which was accompanied by the club-in-hand threat of prosecution for those that don't.

Yeah, good luck with that one Loomis.

Especially when you read the ClickonDetroit story;

Police are also looking at surveillance video from cameras mounted along I-75, in hopes of figuring out who took the cash.

"Any monies that are lost are obviously guaranteed by Loomis to the people who own them," said Loomis spokesman Pat Flaharty.

One driver told Local 4 that police were picking up the cash, otherwise she might have tried to pick up some bills.

Take it away, Louie!

Louis Prima - Pennies from the Heaven

Good Post Alert: Letter to Mesopotamia

Not an unheard of situation, but rare, as Barry Crimmins has a guest writer on his site this week.

John Joslin, Unemployed American Electrician from Detroit (who is rumored to be the designated tradesman that will turn off the lights on the Motor City when it does, finally, shut down), pens a most sincere, and cleverly amusing, note to the Iraqi War Orphans.

Letter to Mesopotamia

We can't risk cutting off the money for your war and take a chance on having all hell break loose where you are. For one thing, none of our soldiers in your country has a proper round- trip ticket to get back home. They would have to stay there if the money runs out. This way, by getting the war bill passed, we will have enough money to keep all the soldiers in your country for at least another 6-months. Guaranteed.

I am looking forward to the $362 bucks per week I'll be pulling down once this war paperwork is taken care of. To put it in perspective -- that's equal to one year's worth of income for the average household in Fallujah. That's near you, right? ( Hey, don't forget, stuff is expensive here in America. It's another world, kiddo ! )

Check it out, it's a good read

And, while your over there on Barry's site...

The Garlic has been remiss in posting that Al Giordano has moved his on-the-money blog, The Field, away Rural Votes, to his own site, NarcoNews. You'll want to bookmark it and check in regularly on The Field - It is MUST READING for this election season.

Barry has two posts - Here and Here - with all the dramatic details of the relocation (and they were dramatic)

Oh yeah ... How on-the-money is Giordano?

Check this out and see for yourselves... It scary, it's so on-target ...