Friday, February 25, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: How Martha Stewart Plans To Be Nicer When Released From Prison

10. Make curtains and tablecloths out of left-over 'Gates' fabric and give to charity

9. Will bake the cakes, but with 'fruit files' in them for her "sister bitches" still in prison

8. Won't shop at Target anymore just because they have better prices than K-Mart

7. Can stop sending harassing letters to Dave Foley, about getting on Celebrity Poker

6. Promises to share her inside stock tips with friends and family

5. Stop "repeating" the jokes about Donald Trump's hair that she picked up in prison

4. Give 'Good Neighbor' Lessons to Sean Connery

3. Remember to send the batch of hashish brownies to President Bush as a 'Thank You

2. Now that she's out, doesn't have to go to bed wishing that Oprah gains all her weight back

1. Only berate the Production Assistants on her TV Show, not the entire staff

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