Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Top Ten Ways Donald Rumsfeld Celebrated Valentine's Day

10. Rested his wrist. Had to hand-write all his Valentines due to they took away his autograph machine

9. Signed-up on Match.Com under the name of 'Donny Bombs Away

8. Posed for private, sexy pictures - without his glasses on

7. Ordered the U.S. Troops in Iraqi to put heart decals on all bombs and grenades

6. Flew to his old NATO hangout in Brussels for some "hands-on" foreign policy

5. Offered to "straighten out" the Vice President's daughter

4. Made his staff address him as 'Secretary of Love' for the day

3. Sent bouquets made from bullets to his sweethearts

2. Admitted he was secretly in love with reporter Helen Thomas

1 Called a meeting with the Secretary of State; Offered to show her his Weapon of Mass Destruction

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