Monday, May 02, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Your Maypole Celebration Pissed Off Your Neighbors

10. You're wife warned you had to wear clothes when doing the Maypole dance

9. Well it wasn't just the Maypole that bothered them; the pigs roasting over an open pit was what really did it

8. Just moved into town; How were you supposed to know it was the 300-year old historic elm the town's founders planted?

7. You explain you're a Texas A&M graduate and it is customary to have a 30-foot high bonfire with it

6. Instead of ribbons, you have piñatas attached to it; Say you're keeping up for Cinco de Mayo

5. Updating it, as a Def Maypole Jam, using rap music, was a bit overboard …

4. You're ribbon-tying so stimulating, Helmut Newton shows up to photograph it

3. For the dance around the pole, you brought in the June Taylor dancers

2. Way too much fun for one day; You announce that you're going to do it every first-of-the-month

1. Skin Heads and Homeland Security agents show up; You mistakenly put on the flyer it was a 'May Day' celebration

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