Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: Things The Washington Nationals Will Have To Worry About With Dick Cheney Throwing Out First Ball

News Item: Washington Nationals announce Vice President Dick Cheney to throw Opening Day ceremonial first pitch

10. Have to make sure he doesn’t selectively leak signs to New York Mets

9. Will make some lame speech about how good the Nationals are and the league is in its’ final throes against them

8. During Secret Service security sweep of stadium, need to hide, out-of-sight, any workers who are illegal aliens

7. Have to allow Halliburton and KBR run the concessions while Cheney is in the stadium

6. All the extra security they have to post around the stadium, looking out for mushroom clouds

5. Big screen Jumbotron must be tuned into Fox News

4. Have to explain, like last year with President Bush, if game ends in tie, extra innings played - he doesn’t get to break tie

3. Getting any elderly fans out of the throwing area by the Vice President

2. Will have to demonstrate to Vice President, many fans wear T-Shirts to game, it’s not a Cindy Sheehan protest

1. Starts badgering the ballplayers - For the right amount of money, can get President Bush to classify their drug tests

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