Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Tony Snow Will Improve White House Press Briefings

News Item: Fox News's Snow to Become New White House Press Secretary

10. On his first day, free gas fill-ups for the entire press corps

9. Press Briefings will now include updates on Natalee Holloway and Duke Rape Case

8. Promise not to call on Fox News reporters first (at, least on most days)

7. To return the favor, will use Rush Limbaugh as a fill-in on days he can’t do the briefing

6. On slow new days, will deliver the press briefing in the persona of Norm Crosby

5. Along with sign language interpretation, will offer new “Tourette’s Syndrome” version of press briefings

4. When Donald Rumsfeld gets fired, or resigns, he’ll be the first to crack wise about it

3. Will provide transcripts of President’s conversations with High Father

2. Borrowing from his colleague at Fox News, Bill O’Reilly, will frame each press conference with a “Talking Points Memo”

1. New, loud, ear-splitting, with floating graphics, intro video to press conferences, claiming White House Press Conferences are #1

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