Sunday, June 11, 2006

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 11 June 2006

The Garlic has learned that prior to last weeks' vote in the Senate, on the Same-Sex Marriage Amendment, which was defeated, the RNC, along with conservative groups Focus On Family and the Family Research Council sponsored a cocktail gathering for Republican Senators in an effort to persuade them to vote for the amendment

Even before any legislation is passed, the U.S. Border Patrol reports that illegal immigrants are training to enter the United States via water

In a new development, Congressman Tom Tancredo (R-CO) said he will submit legislation that will require immigrants entering the United States have the American Flag painted on their faces

In the new White House of Chief of Staff Josh Bolten, President Bush and the First Lady will have a 24-hour Color Guard that will precede them wherever they go. Bolten said he wants to "highlight the power and pageantry of the Executive Office.

Sources tell The Garlic that staffers are complaining that the Color Guard is "jamming the hallways" of the West Wing and causing "logistical nightmares" for the President's Travel Team

In an awkward moment, White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, after vehemently defending the record of the Bush Administration, criticizing the media coverage given to the President, stormed outside the Press Room and challenged reporters, shouting "C'mon, let's get it on!"

Vice President Dick Cheney and House Leader Dennis Hastert congratulate themselves, after learning the U.S. Military agreed to "strap them to a shell" and drop them on the location of Osama Bin Ladin, after he is found, when it was discovered that, combined, the pair weighs "well over 500-pounds" and will inflict even more damage then “what took out Zarqawi"

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