Monday, June 12, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: How Staff Is Dealing With Robert Byrd Now Being Longest-Serving Senator

News Item: W.Va.'s Byrd Now Longest-Serving Senator

10. Get him to replace flag in his office, the one with only 48 stars

9. Break it to him, for his 9th Term election run he can’t go out and campaign on “Sane Sex Marriage

8. Keep having to reassure him that humming noise is air conditioning, not NSA or CIA spying on him

7. Teach him how to use touch-tone telephones

6. Humor him, when he starts talking about running as a “favorite son” again, in 2008

5. Patiently explain that his breakfast, Special K Cereal, is a cereal, not a bribe from a Republican Lobbyist

4. Remember, for the Photo Ops, don’t let him hold up is Exalted Cyclops certificate

3. When they really want to see him explode, they buzz him and say that “Tom Delay is hear to see you”

2. Yes, he wants to get more federal funds into West Virginia, but Senator Stevens already has dibs on the “Bridge To Nowhere”

1. Call Senator Frist and smooth over that, getting whacked in the legs with Senator Byrd’s cane in the Senate elevator is purely accidental

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