Friday, February 16, 2007

Apple Settles With Cisco!; Rolling Dice With New iBeckham Phone

Jobs Promises Aging Soccer Star Can Store "Billions of Photos" of Himself; New "Posh" Command Added

Sources have told The Garlic that Apple, Inc has settled its' iPhone dispute with Cisco Systems and CEO Steve Jobs will immediately announce the introduction of a new device, the iBeckham.

The "Beckham" in the name is that of soccer superstar David Beckham, who gained fame with Manchester United and Real Madrid, and recently signed to play with the Los Angeles Galaxy of the Major League Soccer here in the United States.

The two companies have been in deep negotiations, after Cisco sued Apple for copyright infringement on the name "iPhone". Cisco had acquired the rights to "iPhone" back in 2000, after purchasing the company InfoGear, who had acquired the copyright in 1996.

Jobs then angered Cisco last month, when announcing at MacWorld, the debut of Apple's "iPhone".

"The iPod changed everything in 2001. We're going to do it again with the iPhone in 2007, said Jobs"

Same Phone, New "Posh"

The iBeckham phone is, essentially, the same device as the iPhone Jobs displayed last month, with an OS X operating system, multi-touch keypad, camera and wireless-ready.

Sources say that Jobs is touting the iBeckham can store billions of photos of the aging soccer superstar, including still shots and video.

"You can TIVO a game he's in, and then download to the iBeckham and watch it as you will," said another source, who has had the iBeckham for nearly a week.

And there is one new feature, the "Posh" button.

Jobs added the Posh button in honor of the soccer stars' wife, Victoria, the former Posh Spice of the Spice Girls.

The Posh button will allow the iBeckham user to, with one touch, download all of the Spice Girls music from iTunes.

More Legal Troubles Ahead?

However, more legal trouble could lay ahead for Jobs and Apple, according to Daria Pannesi, editor of 'In The Loot', the newsletter for high tech dollar traders.

"As best as we can tell, says Pannesi, "Jobs doesn't have a deal with Beckham. There's no agreement, no contract."

"He [Jobs] may," added Pannesi, "have to backtrack and throw another name on it - again, if he wants to get the market behind him. They can't afford to be tied up in litigation any longer or the market passes them by."

iBeckham To Be A Franchise For Apple

Sources say that Jobs is aware of the legalities, and has laid out an aggressive plan that will make the iBeckham a major franchise for Apple, and win over the real life Beckham.

Apple, according to the Jobs' plan, will fund a new movie sequel, 'Bend It Like The iBeckham; The Curse of the Black Pearls In Dead Man's Chest At World's End', which will pick up from both the original Beckham film and serve as the 4th installment of Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

The storyline picks up from the original ''Bend It Like Beckham' has the decedents of Kiera Knightly and Johnny Depp attending the same U.S. college as Jess, played by Parminder Nagra, who aids the pair with finding a key piece of lost treasure that will save the world, using only her new iBeckham phone. Knightly will play duel roles, as Elizabeth Swann and Jules Paxton, with a special appearance by Martin Sheen, as Bobby Kennedy.

Those plans are already in motion, while Jobs lays the groundwork for a second-generation release iBeckham, tentatively named iBobby and shoot a sequel of the 2006 film 'Bobby', in which the iBobby phone will play a key role in solving a conspiracy.

"It's the ultimate product placement," Jobs is heard to have said.

The iBeckham will get screen credit and Apple will support a campaign for Best Supporting Actor for the iBeckham when the time comes.

"We want to make history with it," Jobs gushed.

'Bend It Like The iBeckham; The Curse of the Black Pearls In Dead Man's Chest At World's End' will be available, according to Jobs, "within in days" for downloading to the iBeckham, after the theatre release.

And like all Apple products now released, the iBeckham will be equipped with the iSqueal, the feature a user can employ to immediately report to Apple any disparaging remarks aimed at the company.

Will Jobs score a goal with the new iBeckham?

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