Top Ten Cloves: Things To Look Forward To With Apple's TV

News Item:  Analysts: Apple likely to release television set within two years


10.  Vegas taking bets first prototype television will be found in bar in Redwood City


  9.  In nod to early television, instead of rabbit ears, it will have two Apple stems


  8.  Nano version of Apple Television only lets you watch three channels


  7.  Receive discount if if wearing black turtleneck when purchasing television


  6.  Extra commercials programmed in, pitching the Steve Jobs bio


  5.  Power source on television runs low; Must lug TV into Apple Store for new power sources


  4.  Any music in TV programming will be automatically loaded, and billed, to your iPod


  3.  Must purchase all your programs via Apple Apps Store


  2.  Siri will refuse to let you watch Fox News Channel


  1.  Kids finger smudges on television screen will drive you crazy


 


Bonus Riffs


Dan Frommer: Here’s how Apple could finally put the “TV” in Apple TV


Slash Lane: NYT: Apple expected to release Siri-powered television by 2013


Adam Satariano: Apple TV Project Is Said to Be Led By ITunes Creator Robbin


Steve Jobs Announces "Klaatu barada nikto!", New iBuilding


Apple, Belatedly, Launches New iLocater


iToy

So Long Steve Jobs ... You, Definitely, Had Duende ...

For all the riffs we've done here on Apple, there was no denying what a visionary, and genius Steve Jobs was ...


 


Perhaps, an iconic legacy was spilled on the radio program this morning, 'The Take Away'.


As John Hockenberry, and others, struggled to come up with that iconic thing about Jobs, Hockenberry chimed in with a riff, how, when he shows his two-year-old a photograph, a real photograph, the youngster puts their finger on it, like an iPad, or such, to enlarge it, the swipe, the touch ...


Millions, upon, millions today will be doing that


Not a bad legacy to go out with ...


If he were around today, I think the late writer, George Frazier, would say that Steve Jobs, definitely, had duende ...


RIP Steve Jobs ... Job well done ...


Land of Make Believe- Chuck Mangione, Esther Satterfield & Hamilton Philharmonic

UPDATE - Bonus Riffs


Chris O'Brien: Why we all feel the passing of Steve Jobs so deeply


Hank Stuever: Steve Jobs and the idea of letting go


Mike Swift: Tributes pour in for 'our Edison'


President Obama on the Passing of Steve Jobs: "He changed the way each of us sees the world."


Mercury News: Steve Jobs Timeline: A look a tech icon's life and the products that defined Apple

iUSA

Well, if we see President Obama sporting a black turtleneck over the weekend, perhaps that will signal the Apple has purchased the U.S. Government.


 


U.S. balance now less than Apple cash

Steve Jobs is now more liquid than Uncle Sam


[snip]


As Republicans and Democrats continue to work towards a compromise to the country’s debt ceiling crisis, the U.S. Treasury Department said on Thursday that Washington now has a total operating balance of only US$73.768-billion.


Meanwhile, Apple currently boasts a cash reserve of US$75.876-billion, as of its most recent quarterly earnings report at the end of June.

 


If that happens, I, suppose, we'll all be mandated to purchase iPhones (which will help streamline the iLocater program), and changes will include download apps for things like Social Security Checks, Food Stamps. and such.


And Jobs can scratch the plans for building his new spaceship office, as, no doubt, he'll move straight into the White House, incorporating the Apple logo into the Presidential Seal.


Welcome, to the good ol' iUSA!

Steve Jobs Announces "Klaatu barada nikto!", New iBuilding

I couldn't sit on the DL when I espied the news of this today;


Jobs To Cupertino: We Want A Spaceship-Shaped, 12K Capacity Building As Our New Apple Campus


 

After having a banner WWDC start yesterday, Apple founder and CEO Steve Jobs humbly presented his idea for a new Apple campus at the Cupertino City Council today. Jobs wants to build one building that will hold 12,000 Apple employees on a former Hewlett-Packard property in the area between Tantau North Wolfe, Homestead and the 280 freeway.”It’s a little like a spaceship landed,” Jobs says. No kidding.


Jobs began the presentation referring to the fact that Apple is growing “like a weed,” and that its current campus at D’Anza and the 280 isn’t enough — fitting only about 2,800 people. Apple currently rents buildings to house its other 6,700 employees in the area. The new building will augment the current campus.

There's more, something about Matrix-like Curved Holographic windows and the whole place will be powered by Soylent Green.


 


And WTF was this Justin Bieber adoration?

The individual members of the Cupertino City Council seemed like they were in awe the entire time the infamously charismatic Apple CEO spoke (which isn’t surprising), asking Jobs for free Wifi and iPads for constituents as well as for an Apple store that’s actually in Cupertino and not in the Valley or Los Gatos. Jobs shyly responded to the requests, “I think we bring a lot more than free Wifi.”

Beware Cupertino, the past is prologue


Barnhardt: One thing, Mr. Klaatu: suppose this group should reject your proposals. What is the alternative? 
Klaatu: I'm afraid there is no alternative. In such a case, the planet Earth would have to be... eliminated 
Barnhardt: Such power exists? 
Klaatu: I assure you, such power exists


You can watch it here (and notice, around the 11:00 mark, when jobs holds the "largest tax payer in Cupertino" thing over their heads; And, around the 17:00 mark, Jobs pulling a Timmy-from-Twilight Zone, wishing the Kaiser Cement plant into the cornfield)


What went unannounced, sources told The Garlic, that this is the beginning of an ambitious new "iBuilding" division of Apple, and in the yet-to-be-announced future, the debut of "iBlueprint" where anyone can download designs of homes or buildings





Bonus Riffs


Steve Jobs: Apple’s plans for the New Campus at Cupertino City Council


Apple wants to build giant 'spaceship' campus in Cupertino


New iPod Phone Requires Downloading Calls


The iPhone That Knew Too Much

Retro Garlic: Apple's 'Cha-Ching" App

Apple, Belatedly, Launches New iLocater

Apple Computer, today, hastily threw together a combination news conference and product launch on their now-leaked new iLocater product.


In an empty Moscone Center, CEO Steve Jobs sought to stem the criticism of the iLocater, touting it is "one of the best things Apple has ever done."


Jobs also announced that the iLocater is the long-delayed companion piece to the 2005 "iSquel Hotline" and how seamlessly the two programs work together.


"It's all just one mouse click," touted Jobs.


Apple has come under a firestorm, after the iLocater was leaked in the media last week.

Two researchers announced Wednesday that they had discovered a file stored on those devices that records where they have been, and when. The data in the file, which is found on all devices running Apple's iOS operating system and on computers to which those iOS devices are synced, could be used to plot users' movements.


The file is unencrypted and collects the location data without users' knowledge or consent, said Peter Warden and Alasdair Allan, who presented their findings at the Where 2.0 conference in Santa Clara.


"I love Apple. I worked there for five years," said Warden. "I was just pretty sad when I discovered."

Jobs hinted that an unannounced camera may be added to future iLocater programs, capturing an image of the user, to go along with their location.





Bonus Riffs


Juan Cole: Apple Tracking likely a “Bug” or Oversight


John Gruber: Andy Ihnatko on iOS 4’s Location-Tracking Log - Best piece I’ve seen on the “consolidated.db” location-tracking log


Christina Warren: Steve Jobs Responds to iOS Location-Tracking Controversy


 


Bonus Bonus Riffs


Apple Takes Blog Ruling As New Club On Criticism and Dissent


New iPod Phone Requires Downloading Calls


Retro Garlic: Apple's 'Cha-Ching" App


The iPhone That Knew Too Much

The iPhone That Knew Too Much

"iPhone is back! The keeper of the light! All hail iPhone! All hail iPhone! Oh iPhone can you see by the dawn's early light..."

Grand Central Station Locker Creatures

Or: Wag The iPhone.



Well, there was quite the adventure, that has all the tech blogs abuzzin'.

Mind you, Redwood City (California) will never, ever, ever be mistaken for in Marrakesh, however there was every bit of cloak-and-dagger intrigue there recently, as the vaunted, legendary, super-secret, cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-die Apple Security, especially around a new product, was breached.

And, no reports that Steve Jobs, or anyone else at Apple, had to sing "Que Serra Serra", so the lost next-generation iPhone could whistle back, like little Hank McKenna, in the classic Hitcock film we lifted our the title of our post from, in order to be found.

Here's the deal;

A young Apple engineer was out with the new, next-generation iPhone, at a bar in Redwood City, pounded down a few beers, and, ended up leaving it behind...

The Katzenjammer Kids over at Gizmodo, alledgely paid big bucks for it, tore it apart and plastered it all over their website.

Other tech bloggers, like moths-to-a-flame, jumped on it, oohing-and aahing" over it.

Gizmodo later writes how Apple is, quite reservedly, asking for it back - Gizmodo wants three Micky Mantle, and one Sandy Koufax baseball cards from Apple, but Apple, quietly, sends one Harmon Killebrew.

Gizmodo later outs the young Apple engineer, in telling the tale of how the next-generation iPhone got lost, and throws in a good word for the kid (as, possibly, gallows were being built at One Infinite Loop)

Story even makes MSM local news, primarily, as fade-out, chuckling, banter-with-co-anchor babble.

And, we back up MG Siegler, as having the first "bar-on-bar" joke.

But ...

Hold The Phone, as it were.

Something smells iFishy here.

Almost, conspicuously so.

Apple is, notoriously like The Yakuza, when it comes to security for their products.

So, how does it, despite the great storyline, one of their prototype iPhones end up in a bar, in Redwood City?

Color me iSkeptical.

Yeah, Apple recently had the Macy's Day Parade hysteria, over the release of its' new iToy.

But that dropped down in the middle of growing gripes, and flowing ink, on how Apple doesn't play nice in the iSandbox, with developers.

When you're out to take over the world, you don't stop to ask if the person you just crushed if they are alright.

So, maybe, this lost next-generation iPhone happened to be a bone tossed out.

Apple bet, correctly, that it would end up in the hands of a tech geek, who would, upon deconstructing and examining it, trumpet it out on the World Wide Web, all the techies get boners, and all is well in the iWorld again.

Much like the outing of Valerie Plame, we will, likely, never know the full story here.

Oliver Willis rings in on this, in his "Hey Tech Journalists! Are You Even Trying To Cover Apple?";

But what really troubled me as a consumer of tech news and as an Apple fan, was the kind of shockwave that went through the tech press at news about Apple coming out from a non-Apple event. Imagine that, news can be broken about Apple without Steve Jobs wearing a turtleneck and telling us how “magical” and “easy” the device is to operate (and yes, I do want an iPad… it’s magical!). The tech press has much of the same ailment that affects the political press, a willingness to sit on their hands and be spoonfed press releases. So much of tech news consists of covering releases and trade events, without enough investigation inbetween.

And, there was one post on this, that rang eerily close to something we wrote recently;

That is, of course, if Job's didn't misread the "consuming media" thing, and doesn't suddenly turn into Adam Osborne.

Dan Frommer, at Business Insider, cautions "Don't Buy An iPhone Until June";

Apple isn't likely to unveil the new iPhone officially until its Worldwide Developers Conference, which usually takes place in June. And the new phone probably won't go on sale until June or July.

But it appears to have several features that will be worth the wait. So unless you absolutely need a new iPhone now, we'd wait.

Oh No!

Will we soon see headlines of "iPhone Sales Plummet!"

Or, will that young engineer get the Clemenza "Oh, Paulie... won't see him no more ..." treatment?

Que Sera Sera, baby ...


Bonus Riffs

Farhad Manjoo: That New iPhone Looks ... Just Like the Old iPhone ...Has Apple reached the limits of industrial design?

Juli Weiner: Luckiest Tech Blog in the World Was Just Given What Appears To Be the New iPhone

Josh Duboff: Lost iPhone Is Bad News For Apple, Awesome For Nick Denton


Bonus Bonus

Since we linked to the Doris Day version up above, here's the real kick-ass rendition of the tune;

Que Sera Sera - Sly & The Family Stone

Retro Garlic: Apple's 'Cha-Ching" App

On SNL Saturday evening, Seth Meyers, during Weekend Update, noted that Apple released the iPad, "proving the theory that people will buy something to find out what it is."



We already riffed on the new iPad, and it's been nothing short of a tsunami of coverage since it was launched (you can go to the archives of Techmeme to catch up).

So, last Friday, another one pops up, in the NYT, from author Steven Johnson, giving Apple a "wink-wink-slap-on-the-wrists", for not playing nice in the iSandbox, with application developers, but then goes on to extol, heaping glowing hosannas, on Apple, for their "one-click-purchase", and for their genius of creating the AppStore

Rethinking a Gospel of the Web

Over the last two years, however, that story has grown far more complicated, thanks to the runaway success of the iPhone (and now iPad) developers platform — known as the App Store to consumers.

The App Store must rank among the most carefully policed software platforms in history. Every single application has to be approved by Apple before it can be offered to consumers, and all software purchases are routed through Apple’s cash register. Most of the development tools are created inside Apple, in conditions of C.I.A.-level secrecy. Next to the iPhone platform, Microsoft’s Windows platform looks like a Berkeley commune from the late 60s.

[snip]

Those of us who have championed open platforms cannot ignore these facts. It’s conceivable that, had Apple loosened the restrictions surrounding the App Store, the iPhone ecosystem would have been even more innovative, even more democratic. But I suspect that this view is too simplistic. The more complicated reality is that the closed architecture of the iPhone platform has contributed to its generativity in important ways.

The decision to route all purchases through a single payment mechanism makes great sense for Apple, which takes 30 percent of all sales, but it has also helped nurture the ecosystem by making it easier for consumers to buy small apps impulsively with one-click ordering. People don’t want to thumb-type credit card information into their phones each time they download a game to distract the kids during a long drive in the car. One-click purchase also supports lightweight, inexpensive apps, the revenue from which can support small software teams.

Consumers are also willing to experiment with new apps because they know that they have been screened for viruses, malware and other stability problems as part of the App Store’s approval process.

All hail the AppStore!



The Retro Part of this comes from, just over a week ago, our post, "iToy";

iPad isn't a computer, as much as it is an enlarged iPhone, minus the calling features, a technological piece of catnip, designed to have all the little MacKitties rub up against it, and then pull out their wallets at Apple's Citizen Kane-level domination ambitions, the AppStore.

We might have had the wrong reference there.

It's not Citizen Kane market domination Apple is after, but rather, to become the new millennium's Microsoft.

Instead of a PC on every desk, it's an iApp on every device!

And, there's only one super information highway to travel - you have go through Apple to get it.

All hail the AppStore!

All hail the AppStore!


Bonus Riffs

Paul Carr: I Admit It, The iPad Is A Kindle Killer. I Just Wish It Weren’t Going To Kill Reading Too

Michael Arrington: Just Because I Loved My Etch-A-Sketch Doesn’t Mean The iPad Will Save Newspapers

Hiawatha Bray: The iPad’s value? It’ll depend on its apps

Erick Schonfeld: Is Steve Jobs Ignoring History, Or Trying To Rewrite It?

iToy

It is definitely different this time.

No screaming throngs crammed into Moscone Center, shrieking when the TurtleNecked One steps on to the stage, and starts recreating life, as we know it, with the latest-and-greatest Apple product, all but throwing themselves at his feet, or rushing the stage with their first-born cradled in arms.



Apple has stores now, so they can spread around the Apple Worship, generating buzz with Mister-and-Misses-HaveEveryMacProduct bundled up in well-worn sleeping bags, days in advance, sure to become the local news crews' geek-of-the-week interview.

No, rather than sprinkle the new iPad around to all the acolyte tech bloggers, to gin-up that Cupertino-approved ground buzz, Apple only handed out a few, and detoured from the little guys to go gangbusters mainstream, in living color, on prime time television;

John Biggs, over on CrunchGear;

Something struck me about Apple’s handling of the iPad launch this week. Instead of countless nerds spouting off in early reviews, only a few major tech press folks got early samples. Instead, the iPad showed up in a show the missus and I watch, Modern Family.*

That’s right: instead of an overfed talking-head tech reporter pawing over the iPad on morning TV, the iPad got prime-time coverage in a sitcom. Think about the last computer company to get that kind of screen time. Only Microsoft, in their abysmal product placement in Family Guy comes to mind. But in Modern Family the iPad was a major plot point. While I’m sure Apple paid a pretty penny for the exposure, I don’t doubt the folks at ABC would have put the product in for free had Apple asked.

Well, John, it may be that is was a gigantic big, fat freebie wet kiss



Modern Family' Featured an IPad, but ABC Didn't Collect ...Why Apple Didn't Have to Pay for Play -- Again

NEW YORK (AdAge.com) -- Apple may not have paid for its new and much-ballyhooed iPad device to be woven into a main storyline in last night's showing of "Modern Family" on ABC, but everyone is acting as if they did.

Apple has been telling other media outlets it paid nothing for "Family's" bumbling Phil Dunphy character to spend the better part of the program yearning for a new Apple iPad (due out this Saturday) and even stroking the machine wistfully at show's end. And two people familiar with the situation reiterate that notion, telling us Apple and the studio that produces "Modern Family" -- News Corp's 20th Century Fox -- collaborated on its hard-to-miss cameo. Also worth noting: On Twitter, actor Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who plays Mitchell on the show, said "I will say that no 'Product' has been 'Placed' in my itchy little palm. I am excited about the iPad & will probably break down and buy one!"

[snip]

Apple historically doesn't pay for appearances in programming, moreover, and it may not have to. Its gadgets and computers are viewed as status symbols, even cultural icons, so it's no wonder to see shows that want to make characters seem hip -- witness the perennial appearance of an Apple laptop in HBO's "Sex and the City" -- happily weave its goods into scenes and hands.

[snip]

Even without Apple plunking down any cash, last night's episode was tantamount to a huge wet kiss of approval for a product that has yet to be tested by actual consumer use. And it comes after "Modern Family" has helped burnish the Toyota name, allowing its characters to drive cars from the automaker, which has suffered after some of its cars were said to accelerate unexpectedly.

The hallowed buzz Job's is seeking is coming in, a bit muted, a little fuzzy.

The new product has thrown the Tech Heads a curve ball.

iPad isn't a computer, as much as it is an enlarged iPhone, minus the calling features, a technological piece of catnip, designed to have all the little MacKitties rub up against it, and then pull out their wallets at Apple's Citizen Kane-level domination ambitions, the AppStore.

I doubt we'll hear of injuries, or death, of someone's iPad suddenly accelerating, however, and especially for 'Modern Family' fans, we can't vouch for the safety of someone jumping into their Toyota's, to rush off to the nearest Apple Store.

It's really sounding like, more-or-less, an iToy.

Joshua Brustein, in the NYT Bits column today;

Much of this excitement comes from people who would never give a second thought to the restrictions Apple put on those developing software for the device. As both David Pogue and David Carr pointed out, the iPad is really a tool to consume media, not create content.

WOW!

To have an iPad, we have to double-up, first, being "consumers", taking that first step of saying "I want to buy an iPad", and then, once we have it, we have to "consume" media.

Which, if you've followed us, will be ready, and amply-stocked, at the AppStore.

Brustein was responding to Cory Doctorow, over on Boing Boing (where his colleague there, Xeni Jardin, loves it), who is putting on the iBrakes;

Why I won't buy an iPad (and think you shouldn't, either)

Incumbents made bad revolutionaries

Relying on incumbents to produce your revolutions is not a good strategy. They're apt to take all the stuff that makes their products great and try to use technology to charge you extra for it, or prohibit it altogether.

[snip]

But with the iPad, it seems like Apple's model customer is that same stupid stereotype of a technophobic, timid, scatterbrained mother as appears in a billion renditions of "that's too complicated for my mom" (listen to the pundits extol the virtues of the iPad and time how long it takes for them to explain that here, finally, is something that isn't too complicated for their poor old mothers).

The model of interaction with the iPad is to be a "consumer," what William Gibson memorably described as "something the size of a baby hippo, the color of a week-old boiled potato, that lives by itself, in the dark, in a double-wide on the outskirts of Topeka. It's covered with eyes and it sweats constantly. The sweat runs into those eyes and makes them sting. It has no mouth... no genitals, and can only express its mute extremes of murderous rage and infantile desire by changing the channels on a universal remote."

The way you improve your iPad isn't to figure out how it works and making it better. The way you improve the iPad is to buy iApps. Buying an iPad for your kids isn't a means of jump-starting the realization that the world is yours to take apart and reassemble; it's a way of telling your offspring that even changing the batteries is something you have to leave to the professionals.

Read all of Doctrow's post, as he goes on to slap the MSM upside the head, calling their fawning over Apple "Journalism is looking for a daddy figure," as he lays out more reasons to avoid the iPad.

Apple has the status-thing down pat, so we will soon be seeing breathless stories of the iPad "flying off the shelves", which may, or may not be followed, in the months ahead, of complaining, that all the iPad can do is "consume media", or the caterwauling of all the different apps one will have to purchase, to have that "iPad" experience.

It is in the end, a gadget, and there will be other gadgets to follow, to compete with the iPad. minus, of course, the glitter of Apple Status, that will drive down cost, and populate the landscape with all kinds of "media consumers".

All well-and-good, until Apple puts out iPad.02.

That is, of course, if Job's didn't misread the "consuming media" thing, and doesn't suddenly turn into Adam Osborne.


Bonus Riffs

Emily Holleman: A roundup of the early iPad reviews ...Apple's new tablet won't be released until Saturday, but the early notices are favorable -- with a few gripes

Danny O'Brien's Oblomovka: cd-roms and ipads

Juli Weiner: iPad Backlash: The Time is Nigh

Ravi Somaiya: iPad Backlash: The iPad is Not Your Savior

More iToy/iPad at Techmeme


Bonus Bonus Riffs

Apple Settles With Cisco!; Rolling Dice With New iBeckham Phone ...Jobs Promises Aging Soccer Star Can Store "Billions of Photos" of Himself; New "Posh" Command Added

New iPod Phone Requires Downloading Calls

Apple Takes Blog Ruling As New Club On Criticism and Dissent

eWar Follow-up: Amazon Blinks!

Holy flip-flop, Batman!

Yesterday, we posted of the budding eWar, between Amazon, Amazon's Kindle and Macmillan Books (and, by extension, all book publishers), with Steve Jobs and his iPad standing (licking his chops) in the shadows.

Today, at 2:22 PST, Amazon blinked;

Dear Customers:

Macmillan, one of the "big six" publishers, has clearly communicated to us that, regardless of our viewpoint, they are committed to switching to an agency model and charging $12.99 to $14.99 for e-book versions of bestsellers and most hardcover releases.

We have expressed our strong disagreement and the seriousness of our disagreement by temporarily ceasing the sale of all Macmillan titles. We want you to know that ultimately, however, we will have to capitulate and accept Macmillan's terms because Macmillan has a monopoly over their own titles, and we will want to offer them to you even at prices we believe are needlessly high for e-books. Amazon customers will at that point decide for themselves whether they believe it's reasonable to pay $14.99 for a bestselling e-book. We don't believe that all of the major publishers will take the same route as Macmillan. And we know for sure that many independent presses and self-published authors will see this as an opportunity to provide attractively priced e-books as an alternative.

Kindle is a business for Amazon, and it is also a mission. We never expected it to be easy!

Thank you for being a customer.

Hmmm ... Seems like today, Jobs gets to smack his lips, now that Amazon has caved.

For now, apparently, Amazon is content to let Macmillan be viewed as a greed-head, as opposed to Amazon, the assholes.

It's An e-War!

There's still a lot in innings left in this game, to determine, if, when the crush develops, will the cupid-stricken young boy offer to carry his sweetheart's Kindle, iPad, or some other device, to school for her.

In the meantime, an e-War has broken out.



Amazon and Macmillan go to war: readers and writers are the civilian casualties

When I woke this morning at 5AM UK time, I discovered an in-box full of emails from people asking if I knew what was going on with Amazon. My books -- and all books from Macmillan and its many divisions, including Tor, my publisher -- had disappeared from the Amazon webstore in both physical and electronic editions.

The New York Times quotes an industry insider as saying that Amazon pulled these books in retaliation for a demand from Macmillan to raise the price of Kindle books from $10 to $15. Presumably, Amazon perceives the $10 price-tag as a way of encouraging people to buy its Kindle platform, which itself is a kind of roach-motel for books: the license terms and DRM on the books in the Kindle store prohibit you from reading your Kindle books on competing devices. So books check in, but they don't check out.

[snip]

If the NYT's report is true, then this is a case of two corporate giants illustrating neatly exactly why market concentration is bad for the arts:

Read the rest of Cory Doctrow's post, as he also lays out a convenient (for readers and consumers, certainly), solution.

And, settle this thing fast, boys, I have three books I be lookin' to get published.

Back to the e-War, Henry Blodget adds;

Publishers have therefore been pressuring Amazon to raise prices on Kindle books, which Amazon is loathe to do. Amazon is selling Kindle books for $9.99 for two reasons:

• It wants the Kindle to become the ebook standard, and sales volume is critical
• It understands that the idea of selling an ebook for the price of a hardcover book is ridiculous

[snip]

And if Amazon were just an eBook seller, it might have to cave immediately. But it isn't. It's also a huge physical book seller (which, by the way, Apple isn't). So if a publisher gets too uppity, Amazon can just threaten to kick its books right out of the store.

And that appears to be what has happened with Macmillan.

[snip]

Eventually, eBook prices should drop significantly, to reflect the incremental cost of goods sold (zero). This should encourage more book-buying and book reading, as well as a greater volume of sales. In the meantime, however, the publishing industry appears intent on stonewalling. And in that endeavor, it has found a new friend--Steve Jobs.

Yeah, right, Steve Jobs.

Once the heavy-duty fighting starts, undoubtedly, Apple will come out with something, like iRocks, you can throw.

Or, maybe, it will escalate to iDrones.

Bezos, over here ... Jobs, you go over here ...

Let's get ready to rumble!


Bonus eWar Fragments

Paul Miller: Macmillan books gone from Amazon.com, Steve Jobs grins wryly from his throne of golden iPads

John Scalzi: It’s All About Timing

Matt Buchanan: The Apple-Amazon eBook War Begins: Amazon Deletes Macmillan Books

To: All Macmillan authors/illustrators and the literary agent community

Top Ten Cloves: How The Amazon Kindle Can Effect The Legal World

Retro Garlic: I Phone, You Phone, We All Phone For The G3 Phone ...

Well ... Someone had to be first, ponying up that extra $400 bucks last year ...

3G iPhone will be available next month for $199

Apple CEO Steve Jobs on Monday celebrated the iPhone's one-year birthday a few weeks early by unveiling a cheaper and faster version of the device that is part phone and part mini-computer.

The widely anticipated announcement of a 3G iPhone - dubbed 3G for AT&T's "third generation" network - at Apple's annual Worldwide Developers Conference in San Francisco was greeted with the kind of enthusiasm found at rock concerts. The new iPhone will be available July 11 in the United States and 21 other countries for as low as $199, down from $399. When the original model was released June 29 last year, it cost $599.

You can watch the video of it Here ...

Or, find out The Really Big Thing About The New iPhone, Here ...

While this new iPhone was rumored (and, like Hillary, inevitable) back last November, but, of course, it was shrouded in that infamous Steve Jobs secrecy.

Like only a handful of others, The Garlic has broken many a scoop when it comes to Apple.

So, to enlighten all those new G3 owners, we'll take a stroll down Retro Garlic Lane, to check out a few ...


Apple Takes Blog Ruling As New Club On Criticism and Dissent

Apple Announcement Today May Unveil Miers iPod

New iPod Phone Requires Downloading Calls

iSqueal Busy Over Stock Slide and iPod Rumor

Apple Settles With Cisco!; Rolling Dice With New iBeckham Phone; Jobs Promises Aging Soccer Star Can Store "Billions of Photos" of Himself; New "Posh" Command Added

Top Ten Cloves: Other Features Of New iPhone Not Mentioned At MacWorld

Top Ten Cloves: Things To Do While Waiting In Line To Buy The New iPhone

News Item: Eager iPhone buyers line up

10. Boast how the first thing you're going to download is the great Paris Hilton CD

9. Start a rumor that you're going to have to download all your calls with the new iPhone

8. Daydream of winning the Pro Video-Game League Championship Gaming Series, the special iPhone division

7. Practice writing a forward for Donald Rumsfeld's new book

6. Take a poll of how many people in line believe in the Theory of Evolution

5. Move up at least six places in line, after your break out your lunch of Imported Seafood from China

4. Remark how timely the new iPhone is - That you'll be able to watch Dennis Miller on his new Game Show Network show on it

3. Think about how you can track how many times President Bush uses "al Qaeda" in a speech

2. Plan to email Mitt Romney that, with the new iPhone, he can attach a video camera on the roof of his car and monitor his dog with the iPhone on his next trip

1. Poll others standing in line to see if anyone's going to the Star Trek Convention later this year

Update

Even Apple's co-founder is standing in line for an iPhone

Apple Settles With Cisco!; Rolling Dice With New iBeckham Phone

Jobs Promises Aging Soccer Star Can Store "Billions of Photos" of Himself; New "Posh" Command Added

Sources have told The Garlic that Apple, Inc has settled its' iPhone dispute with Cisco Systems and CEO Steve Jobs will immediately announce the introduction of a new device, the iBeckham.

The "Beckham" in the name is that of soccer superstar David Beckham, who gained fame with Manchester United and Real Madrid, and recently signed to play with the Los Angeles Galaxy of the Major League Soccer here in the United States.

The two companies have been in deep negotiations, after Cisco sued Apple for copyright infringement on the name "iPhone". Cisco had acquired the rights to "iPhone" back in 2000, after purchasing the company InfoGear, who had acquired the copyright in 1996.

Jobs then angered Cisco last month, when announcing at MacWorld, the debut of Apple's "iPhone".

"The iPod changed everything in 2001. We're going to do it again with the iPhone in 2007, said Jobs"

Same Phone, New "Posh"

The iBeckham phone is, essentially, the same device as the iPhone Jobs displayed last month, with an OS X operating system, multi-touch keypad, camera and wireless-ready.

Sources say that Jobs is touting the iBeckham can store billions of photos of the aging soccer superstar, including still shots and video.

"You can TIVO a game he's in, and then download to the iBeckham and watch it as you will," said another source, who has had the iBeckham for nearly a week.

And there is one new feature, the "Posh" button.

Jobs added the Posh button in honor of the soccer stars' wife, Victoria, the former Posh Spice of the Spice Girls.

The Posh button will allow the iBeckham user to, with one touch, download all of the Spice Girls music from iTunes.

More Legal Troubles Ahead?

However, more legal trouble could lay ahead for Jobs and Apple, according to Daria Pannesi, editor of 'In The Loot', the newsletter for high tech dollar traders.

"As best as we can tell, says Pannesi, "Jobs doesn't have a deal with Beckham. There's no agreement, no contract."

"He [Jobs] may," added Pannesi, "have to backtrack and throw another name on it - again, if he wants to get the market behind him. They can't afford to be tied up in litigation any longer or the market passes them by."

iBeckham To Be A Franchise For Apple

Sources say that Jobs is aware of the legalities, and has laid out an aggressive plan that will make the iBeckham a major franchise for Apple, and win over the real life Beckham.

Apple, according to the Jobs' plan, will fund a new movie sequel, 'Bend It Like The iBeckham; The Curse of the Black Pearls In Dead Man's Chest At World's End', which will pick up from both the original Beckham film and serve as the 4th installment of Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

The storyline picks up from the original ''Bend It Like Beckham' has the decedents of Kiera Knightly and Johnny Depp attending the same U.S. college as Jess, played by Parminder Nagra, who aids the pair with finding a key piece of lost treasure that will save the world, using only her new iBeckham phone. Knightly will play duel roles, as Elizabeth Swann and Jules Paxton, with a special appearance by Martin Sheen, as Bobby Kennedy.

Those plans are already in motion, while Jobs lays the groundwork for a second-generation release iBeckham, tentatively named iBobby and shoot a sequel of the 2006 film 'Bobby', in which the iBobby phone will play a key role in solving a conspiracy.

"It's the ultimate product placement," Jobs is heard to have said.

The iBeckham will get screen credit and Apple will support a campaign for Best Supporting Actor for the iBeckham when the time comes.

"We want to make history with it," Jobs gushed.

'Bend It Like The iBeckham; The Curse of the Black Pearls In Dead Man's Chest At World's End' will be available, according to Jobs, "within in days" for downloading to the iBeckham, after the theatre release.

And like all Apple products now released, the iBeckham will be equipped with the iSqueal, the feature a user can employ to immediately report to Apple any disparaging remarks aimed at the company.

Will Jobs score a goal with the new iBeckham?

Top Ten Cloves: Other Features Of New iPhone Not Mentioned At MacWorld

News Item: Apple Seeks To Muscle Into Telecom With iPod Phone

10. Apple cooperating with British Government; If you try to take picture of Prince William’s girlfriend, Kate Middleton, with iPhone camera, system shuts down and for next 10-minutes, iPhone berates you as a “scumbag” and “parasite”

9. New iPhone gets better reception if you wear black turtleneck jersey

8. Upgrade your iPhone to the former Senator Rick Santorum model and turn it into a Weapons of Mass Destruction locater

7. Ability to send video reports to iSqueal

6. Partnership with Cingular not only raises the bar, but with optional feature, can turn your iPhone into a fully-stocked mobile bar, complete with wet sink, for libations on-the-go

5. On-Off Feature of Loud Snickering, anytime you walk past someone with a Microsoft Zune

4. Terrorist-Proof; Touch screen automatically sends your fingerprints to FBI for Terror Watch Database inquiry

3. Special Commemorative President Bush model comes pre-loaded with permits that allows you to use your new iPhone to drill for oil in Alaska

2. Adults-Only X-Rated Model allows for your new iPhone to, how should we say, “interact” with your Roomba (Not Included; Roomba sold separately)

1. One-Touch dialing to backdate your stock purchases and sales

Bonus Link

From The Garlic Archives

Friday 9 September 2005 - New iPod Phone Requires Downloading Calls