Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Admitting You Have A Wide Stance

News Item: Craig Arrested, Pleads Guilty Following Incident in Airport Restroom

10. Nothing like an airport's public restroom that makes you want to stretch out and widen your stance

9. When visiting Minneapolis, the "Twin Cities", you like to widen your stance just a little bit more

8. Bouts of irritation when breaking in a new pair of leather pants

7. Causes you to, uncontrollably, tap your foot in the public restroom stall next to you

6. Teasing from your colleagues, how they are going to have to renovate the Senate aisles to accommodate your wide stance

5. Difficulty fitting into average American public restroom stall

4. Once admitting you have a wide stance, confuses your constituents when an issue comes up and you say you're taking a stance on it

3. The need of a really snappy line, when you whip out your business card ... Something like “What do you think about that?”

2. Gives you self-doubts, like, instead of a wide stance, maybe you'd be better off just going with a massage and some crystal meth

1. Makes it easier to spot pieces of paper on a public restroom floor

Bonus Larry Craig Links

Idaho Statesman: Men's room arrest reopens questions about Sen. Larry Craig

Barry Crimmins: Wide footprints to fill

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