There Is No Greater Cause ...

The GOP opened up, officially, last evening, in St.Paul, Minnesota (where they are road testing the new, 2009 Police State) though tonight is when the dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds take the stage.

Other than legally, having to gavel the the thing open, perhaps the biggest feat achieved by Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain was managing (on the third day of his VP choice setting off sparks like a radio thrown in a bathtub), keeping the chief occupants of the Bush Grindhouse away from the joint.

Hurricane Gustav is the credited saving grace, that, getting a second chance to act like they knew what they were doing, The Commander Guy and Darth Vader figured, even thought they be gone in a few months, they wouldn't get away with blowing off, again.

With the Labor Day news dominated by Gustav, on television, and Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin (take your pick - A) Pregnancies, B) Vetting, or C) all of the above), on the World Wide Web, the Dead Campaign Express was taking fire from all sides, and the more they pushed back, the more fire would deluge them.

Check this out, as Campbell Brown, of CNN, toys with Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain Campaign mouthpiece, Tucker Bounds (oh, what a treat it would be if he named one of his children "Out Of"), who, either has a hearing problem, or he just couldn't go the distance in defending the Fly Boy's choice of Wing Chick.

(I suspect, by the time the Republican Convention ends, Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin will have more "experience" that FDR, JFK, Ike and Patton - combined).

So, the opening night for the Grand Old Party had been pared down, and embued with just enough somberness (sans any black bunting) to get the suck-up from the media on "taking the right tone", with the hurricane lashing away at the friends and relatives of the Louisiana delegation.

In fact, it was announced that those fatback Republicans wanted to pitch in, do something for the victims of the storm.

And they came up with one of their snappy names, much like the horrendous branding of "Country First" (we wrote, previously, how it sounds like the name of a bank ... John McCain + Bank ... Keating Five!);

Cause Greater

Of course, you go out to the website and you get the full monty on it - "Serving A Cause Greater Than Self"

However it's a McCain website, so they have hanging over that "Country First" slogan, so, again, it looks like a bank is sponsoring this "Cause Greater" thing.

No generic agency, like the Red Cross, gets the nod ... No, you get pushed, via links, to programs in states controlled by Republicans, that may, or may not have, been hit by the hurricane.

And who do they get to make the sales pitch?

None other than First Lady Laura Bush, and Mrs. Stumblin' Bumblin' McCain, Cindy (who, no doubt, was on-line earlier in the day, seeing if she could lift any of Sarah "Midnight Sun" Palin's family recipes ... A, kind of, culinary vetting, if you will).

So, the two woman married to dolts put all the heart into it;

"Our first priority now - today - is to ensure the safety and well-being of those living in the Gulf Coast region," Bush said, adding that "our shared American ideals always transcend party politics."

"I would ask that each one of us commit to join together to aid those in need as quickly as possible. As John has been saying for the last several days, this is a time when we take off our Republican hats and put on our American hats," McCain added.

See how sly they are ... Cruising, so subtly, right into that "Serving A Cause Greater Than Self" thing.

But this thing about hats ... WTF is up with that?

We have to have a "hat controversy" now.

Who knew, in the first place, that there were "Republican Hats"?

What do they look like? ... Where do you get them from?

Do Republicans wear these hats all the time, so, as indicated in the speech, to do something else, they have to take off the Republican Hat and put on whatever hat it is to get the job done, in this case, an "American Hat"

And where are they hiding these "American Hats"?

Is this a new "Lapel Flag" thing they're trying to cook up?

Will we soon see the Right Wing Freak Show start hammering Obama and Biden for the hats they wear?

Or don't wear.

I suppose, if either Obama or Biden went hatless yesterday or today, we'll see something from Michelle Malkin, that Biden must want the people of New Orleans to drown, because he wasn't wearing his "American Hat" (or "Democratic Hat", if there is such a thing).

Jonah "Prom Dress Boy Goldberg will have a 15-million word essay on how, Barack Obama going around hatless, means he's a fascist.

OMG!

They're trying to stir things up again ... Another false issue, another one of those "small things" Obama warned that this election doesn't need.

Now, I don't know if these guys were wearing any hats, whichever kind of hat, even if they owned whichever type of hat they were supposed to own.

But these guys, apparently, didn't get the memo on the "Serving A Cause Greater Than Self" thing.

Or, the one about the hats.

GOP parties as Gustav rages



Oh well ...

Bonus First Day GOP Riffs

Bob Cesca: Liveblogging the RNC - Day One

FiveThirtyEight: St. Paul, Kinda Day One

John Emerson - Police at Republican National Convention: links

Nicole Belle: Republicans Are Coming To Minneapolis…Quick! Hide The Bill of Rights!

Al Giordano - Addams Family Values: GOP Convention Make-Up Night Preview

Glenn Greenwald: Scenes from St. Paul -- Democracy Now's Amy Goodman arrested

Amy Goodman Arrested at RNC

H/T to Lisa Ballard, Via Barry Crimmins

McHurricane

As if almost to announce it, to highlight it, to call everyone's attention to it, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain, and his new sidekick, The Midnight Sun, want to give a public example of Barack Obama's charge that Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny "doesn't get it".

McCain may deliver convention speech from disaster zone

McCain was scheduled to deliver his acceptance speech Thursday but now may do so from the devastation zone if the storm hits the U.S. coast with the ferocity feared by forecasters.

Oh, how wonderful it will be for "his friends".

What better remedy to going through a disaster than to have a hack politician giving a hack political speech ... Like bringing the Dead Campaign Express into a disaster zone, and giving his acceptance speech, is going to be some magic elixir ...

Wait a minute! ... I know what their up to ...

As Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny prattles on with his acceptance speech, Cindy and Midnight Sun will be tossing food rations, and bottles of water to the crowd ... You know, like they toss the beads off of the floats during Mardi Gras ... They can make it one, big happy event, before they take off in Cindy's private jet, to any one of his seven houses.

And this article from Politico, "GOP sees potential redemption in Gustav", should be retitled to "McCain, GOP sees potential in exploiting Gustav"

With the Republicans cutting back on their convention, Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny offered up this gem;

"It just wouldn't be appropriate to have a festive occasion while a near tragedy or a terrible challenge is presented in the form of a natural disaster. So we're monitoring it from day to day, and I'm saying a few prayers too," he told "Fox News Sunday."

Hmmm ... I guess, three-years ago, as people in New Orleans sat on roofs, waiting to be rescued, or the ones who waited for days, at the Convention Center, and nearly died of thirst and hunger, it wasn't necessary for The McSames to curtail the "festive occasion";

Let Them Eat Cake!

Hmmm ... If he does go the route of giving his acceptance speech from the hurricane area, what are the odds that Stumblin' Bumblin Johnny will be in simple blue dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, using the same set of lights that the Commander Guy did, and go to the same spot, in front of St. Louis Cathedral


















Bonus RNC Riffs

Nicole Belle: Republicans Are Coming To Minneapolis…Quick! Hide The Bill of Rights!

Lindsay Beyerstein: Inside an RNC Raid

Glenn Greenwald: Massive police raids on suspected protestors in Minneapolis

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium

The Gift That Refuses To Stop Itself From Giving

Why Do You Think We've Been Calling Him "Stumblin' and Bumblin"?

"You're Not Big Enough To Do This To Rocco ... I Kill You ..."

Make the big wave ... Send it crashing down on us ... Destroy us all, if need be ... But punish him ... Make a big wave ... Send it against us ... Take us all ... But destroy him ...

James Temple, from the film 'Key Largo'

Ah yes, the classic John Huston film, with the all-star cast of Bogart, Bacall, Edward G. Robinson, Claire Trevor (who won an Oscar), and Lionel Barrymore.

People huddled in a hotel, down in the Florida Keys, held hostage by gangsters on the lam, the great Johnny Rocco, while a fierce hurricane bears down on them

Irony and Karma are setting up on a collision course this weekend.

Hurricane alert puts New Orleans on evacuation footing

Forecasters say Gustav will have become a powerful hurricane by the time it reaches the Gulf of Mexico and will probably hit the US coast on Monday, somewhere between Florida and Texas. Its most likely path will take it over New Orleans.

What makes this so special, along with it coming on the third anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, it also could hit on the opening day of the Republican National Convention.

Irony and Karma ...

For the attendees of the convention, with the likes of The Commander Guy, Vice President Darth Vader, and, of course, Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain on stage, they, too, may feel like hostages in that hurricane-beaten hotel.

There are new reports that The Commander Guy is bailing out of the convention, due to the storm (which will, no doubt, be spun by the Bush Grindhouse, on him showing leadership, and compassion; Actually, it's, kind of, like a reverse photo-op).

Well, that opens up a new excuse, as the RNC is having a little difficulty getting the elected members of their own party to attend the festivities (we assume, there'll be an Barack Obama pinata hanging for the GOP kids to be whacking).

We certainly hope the storm veers away from populated land, and that human life is spared (and, most definitely, that the people of New Orleans don't get their first serious test on how well our government has secured their city against Mother Nature).

Irony and Karma ...

Oh, and let's not forget, the McCain's-Minister-for-a-Minute, James Hagee encouraged his followers to pray for rain, during the Democratic Convention, specifically, Obama's big, outdoor speech.

The only thing that could make this more perfect, is if the World Court announces on Monday, they intend to bring the Bush Regime in on War Crimes charges.

Or, the RNC delegates, after listening to Stumblin' Bumblin' Johnny, for a few minutes, decide by unanimous acclamation, they're not going to nominate anyone.


Bonus Links

Cernig - Crooks and Liars: Gustav On GOP’s Horizon?

Think Progress: Hagee Ministries: ‘No Comment’ on Tropical Storm Gustav

Salon: Bush might not make same mistake twice

Think Progress: Fox: Bush might not speak at RNC on Monday because of Gustav

The Bob Dole For The New Millennium