My Boy Lollipop

"You'll get up to 2,000 euros ... Do not touch his balls. You need the money. Put on some music, take out the [inaudible], swallow the Viagra, and adelante!"

Oh no, those boys at the Vatican are at it, again ...

Vatican hit by gay sex scandal ...Vatican chorister sacked for allegedly procuring male prostitutes for papal gentleman-in-waiting

The Vatican was today rocked by a sex scandal reaching into Pope Benedict's household after a chorister was sacked for allegedly procuring male prostitutes for a papal gentleman-in-waiting.

Angelo Balducci, a Gentleman of His Holiness, was caught by police on a wiretap allegedly negotiating with Thomas Chinedu Ehiem, a 29-year-old Vatican chorister, over the specific physical details of men he wanted brought to him. Transcripts in the possession of the Guardian suggest that numerous men may have been procured for Balducci, at least one of whom was studying for the priesthood

We can look up the measurements, the square-miles Vatican City sits in, so, it's really well past time that they come out of the, undoubtedly, largest closet on the face of the earth.

I mean, they ship the the big wigs out of the United States, when the scandal of having sex with boys got too hot, and, what's waiting for them when the get there - a choir of dream boys, and people to procure them (no more of that messy business of running a parish).

They give them a veritable menu.

The Gay News Watch wasn't as demure as the Guardian, as our lead quote showed, on putting out the details;

The scandal now envelops Balducci, a well-known and powerful local figure who is married with two children, who despite all this is said to have taken remarkable risks in setting up sexual liaisons even in Chigi Palace, home of the Italian prime minister, or immediately after a private audience with a cardinal.

In 72 pages of transcribed wiretaps, Ehiem tells Balducci about one possible candidate: "Angelo ... I'll say no more. Two meters (6-foot-7), 97 kilos (250 lbs.), 33 years-old and completely active (top)."

In later calls, Ehiem offered fewer details: "I have a situation in Naples."

"I have a Cuban situation."

"I have a German who just arrived from Germany."

"I have two black guys."

"I have the soccer player."

"I have the dancer from RAI," the Italian TV network.

Some of the young men were seminarians or attended ecclesiastical colleges in Rome. On one occasion, Balducci is heard saying, "He, when does he have to return to the seminary?"

Well, Angelo Balducci, c'mon down, this song is for you!

Take it away, Millie Smalls!

Millie - My boy lollipop 1973




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No Wonder He Was So Hunched Over

Holy Cow!

Now we know why Pope John Paul II was so hunched over!

Book: John Paul II used belt to whip himself

Pope John Paul II whipped himself with a belt, even on vacation, and slept on the floor as acts of penitence and to bring him closer to Christian perfection, according to a new book by the Polish prelate spearheading his sainthood case.

[snip]

At a news conference Tuesday, Oder defended John Paul's practice of self-mortification, which some faithful use to remind them of the suffering of Jesus on the cross.

"It's an instrument of Christian perfection," Oder said, responding to questions about how such a practice could be condoned considering Catholic teaching holds that the human body is a gift from God.

In the book, Oder wrote that John Paul frequently denied himself food — especially during the holy season of Lent — and "frequently spent the night on the bare floor," messing up his bed in the morning so he wouldn't draw attention to his act of penitence

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Know Thy Pope

Vatican Discounts "Bonfire Pope"; Says Flames "Not Hunched Over Enough"

Late Pontiff's Bend Was Measured "Religiously"; Never Used Contingency "Roller Skate Gloves".

The Vatican, this morning, dashed the hopes of a Polish photographer, indicating that a picture of a bonfire claiming to resemble Pope John Paul II, in his classic "blessing" pose, is not the late Pontiff.

After studying the photograph, the Vatican indicates that the "flames are not hunched over enough to be authentic."

"We can say this with certainty," offered a Vatican spokesperson.

"His Excellency was religiously measured, monitored and tracked, for the bend in his back. We have very precise measurements on this and the flames in the photo do not correspond to our records."

This disputes Service director Jarek Cielecki, a Polish priest, who had traveled to Beskid Zywiecki, in southern Poland, close to John Paul's birthplace, to review the photograph, taken by a local man, Gregorz Lukasik, of a bonfire set on April 2nd, to commemorate the second anniversary of the Polish Pontiff's death.

"You can see the image of a person in the flames and I think it is the servant of God, Pope John Paul II," he said.

Unconfirmed reports indicate that Cielecki and Lukasik drew the attention of the Vatican, only after they allegedly signed deals with eBay and GoldenPalace.Com, to purchase the photograph, and the ashes left over from the bonfire.

It was said the price dropped due to the pair not being able to sell the bonfire, while it was lit, as well as not having the official endorsement of The Vatican.

A second rumor says that the sale was complicated by The Vatican's insistence of receiving a larger percentage of the sale.

New Discovery

In damping down the "Flaming Pope", as it is called inside The Vatican, journalists were offered to look over the voluminous register book on the recordings of Pope John Paul's hunched back.

Measurements were taken daily, and escalated to twice daily in his last few years, with specially-designed "Papal Calipers" and included weekly xrays.

Also included in the measurement book were detailed design sketches of what was titled "Roller Skate Gloves".

Officials in The Vatican were concerned that Pope John Paul's hunching was increasing, and, potentially, if he lived longer, he would be bent completely over and, in order to complete even some basic perfunctory tasks, as well as move around the vast Vatican palace, some mechanical device would be needed.

A wheel chair was ruled out by John Paul himself, not wanting to appear weak to his flock.

The specs for the "Roller Skate Gloves" called for them to be gold-plated, and trimmed in red.

In a related story, Catholic League President William Donohue lambasted liberals and gays, claiming that they were "biased and prejudiced" against flames resembling Catholics.

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CHRIST SLEPT HERE: A TALE OF EASTER