Friday, July 01, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: Things That Will Ruin Your Summer Vacation

10. You get a subpoena - Saddam Hussein is calling you as a witness in his upcoming trial

9. Having your giant Snapple popsicle melt on you and flood the street with sticky goo

8. Howard Dean starts telling people that you've never earned an honest days' living in your life

7. The Supreme Court makes you reveal your confidential sources

6. In a press conference, Karl Rove mentions you, by name, as someone needing therapy

5. Since you stopped using steroids, harder to flip burgers on the grill

4. Can't get confirmed to be the United Nations Ambassador

3. The Denver Three charge that you wouldn't let them use your swimming pool

2. It's leaked that CPB's Kenneth Tomlinson has someone monitoring you

1. Your bride-to-be runs away and you're the only one looking for her; No media coverage, no book deals

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