Friday, November 04, 2005

Friday 4 November 2005

Bush Calls For Color-Coded Pandemic Warning System

With Corruption and Leak Cases Mounting, Administration Needs New Diversions

In a brief question-and-answer session with reporters and other media in Mar del Plate, Argentina, President Bush indicated that he has instructed the Homeland Security Department to begin working on and creating a color-coded Pandemic Warning Chart.

President Bush is at the Argentina resort, attending a gathering of Western Hemisphere leaders. His appearance there has sparked a huge protest, with thousands taking to the streets in what they call a 'People's Summit'.

Following his speech on Tuesday, at the National Institutes of Health, the President said that he is "very worried" about the Avian Bird Flu and that he wants to see that American citizens "have enough information and warning" about the disease.

The President did say that Dick Cheney's Secret Bunker has been "pandemic-proofed" so, should the pandemic hit the United States, "we'll still have a healthy, functioning government".

"We really want to fight this deadly flu over there, and not here," said Bush.

President Bush also admitted that all Cabinet members and most of the White House staff have been guaranteed vaccinations, by Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfield, who, before joining the Bush Cabinet, was Chairman of Gliead Sciences, the manufacturer of the Avian Bird Flu vaccination, Tamiflu.

A spokesperson for Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff confirmed that the department was working on" something" but could not, or would not provide many details.

'We are talking with Crayola, and some other private color consultants." said the HDS spokesperson. 'The President was very specific that the colors for the Pandemic warnings need to be very different than the color for the terror alerts."

Along with notifying media outlets for reports of elevated Pandemic Alerts, the color-chart will be available, with daily updates at, the new website the President said was created for this issue.

A sources close to the administration claims that the pandemic is "just another cover" for the White House.

"They getting worried, with the court cases piling up," said the source. "They need to create a new diversion."

Hugh P. Varicator, a consultant with the conservative think tank, 'Cry Wolf', agreed.

"The terror alert system just hasn't taken off the way we thought it would," said Varicator. "We don't know if the colors aren't working, or if people are just not listening. It's clearly not providing enough cover for the administration."

'Cry Wolfe' is closely affiliated with The Project for the New American Century (PNAC), and, some say, is actually part of the hawk group.

Another source says that 'Cry Wolf" is a new effort from the White House Iraq Group, or WHIG.

"They've set up an offshoot group," said the White House source. 'It's call PIG, for Pandemic Information Group. It's pretty much made up of the same people, with a few others from HHS and other places involved."

President Bush, when asked, said he was considering putting in place a "Pandemic Czar" but that he hasn't had time to review the list of "donors and cronies" that could fill the position. The President refused comment if Michael Brown, former FEMA Director might take the post.

"I think you'll understand," said the President, with a smirk, "that we want to keep FEMA out of this one."

Both the White House, and Homeland Security, would not comment on reports that the CIA was maintaining a secret system of hospitals, focused on the Avian Bird Flu and its' effects on captured Al Qaeda terrorists.

A new strain of the Avian Bird Flu reportedly gives birds uncanny physical abilities, that includes carrying items over 100-times their weight, the coordination to ride bicycles and operate machinery.

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