Monday, January 30, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Exxon Will Celebrate Largest Annual Profit Ever For A U.S. Company

10. Visit Jack Abramoff in prison, and find out who best to bribe in Congress, so there's no new taxes on oil companies

9. Encourage and lobby Detroit Big 3 to produce more SUV's

8. No resting on our laurels; Go for a new record and immediately raise gasoline prices by, at least, 50%

7. Hmmm .. New Orleans … Chocolate City … Need a lot of energy to make chocolate … Should be able to maximize that

6. Invest in researching this global warming thing, to see if we can better target future hurricanes for better profits

5. Send a really nice "Thank You" gift to President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney

4. Take over and purchase Ford Motor Company and launch new, "Way, Way, Way Forward" program

3. Quickly, buy up all airline and train tickets so people have to drive to Super Bowl next weekend and let the money roll in

2. Break out new company flag - giant, crisp, replica of $100 Bill

1. Start lobbying 2008 President candidates to continue tradition of Dick Cheney and have private White House Energy Meetings

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