Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Acts Of Atonement For Mel Gibson

News Item: The Passion Of the Apology

10. Send him hunting with Vice President Dick Cheney

9. Lindsey Lohan could use a new press agent, or chaperone, no?

8. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld on Gibson’s Atonement: “Oh, I don’t know. You know, I thought about that last night, and just musing over the words, the phrase, and what constitutes it. … It clearly is being stimulated by people who would like to have what could be characterized as Atonement and win it, but I’m not going to be the one to decide if, when or at all

7. Assign him to L.A. County Sheriffs Department, but he only responds to drunk driving calls

6. The ultimate movie and career penalty - Have him censored by Google and removed from their search results (just like they did in China, but this time, only for Gibson)

5. Walk around for six-months with breast implants, filled with liquid sucrose

4. When Mitt Romney reopens Boston’s Big Dig Tunnels, put Mel in the drivers seat for the first car through

3. Mad Max Thunderdome-version PSA on Drunk Driving - Gibson is sent down Pacific Coast Highway, sitting backwards on a donkey, with giant, Mardi Gras head - and skull cap

2. Take over as Campaign Manager for Katherine Harris

1. Sentence him to extremely harsh public service - 80-hours of talking with Ann Coulter

Is a Mad Max Thunderdome-version PSA on Drunk Driving in Mel Gibson’s future?

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