Top Ten Cloves: Other Ways Facebook Could Have Screwed Up Their IPO

News Item:  EXCLUSIVE: Here's The Inside Story Of What Happened On The Facebook IPO


10.  Done it all on Facebook – base share prices by how many Likes they received


  9.  If Mark Zuckerburg had another meeting with Biz Stone


  8.  Brought Lebron James in for the last quarter of writing the IPO


  7.  Promoted offering with ads on Google+ 


  6.  Used the New Orleans Saints Bounty Program to sell their shares (or, perhaps,      
        to settle the lawsuits)


  5.  Get The Most Interesting Man In The World  to … Wait a minute, he's way too cool, 
        and, probably, has his own MIMITWBook (and everyone on it Likes him)   


  4.  If former Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson was brought in to keep the IPO 
       “Hush-Hush”


  3.  Hired Jamie Dimon and J.P. Morgan’s London office to run the show


  2.  Got Mitt Romney to make one of his prescient insights to the marketplace


  1.  Had Larry Summers and the Winklevoss Brothers do the underwriting

 
Bonus Riffs


Charles P. Pierce: Why Is America So Happy for Facebook? 


Mark Cuban: Facebook IPO Post Mortem – Killer – but not for the reasons you think !

Really, Larry ...

People in glass houses ....


Former Government, and Harvard, hack, Larry Summers is in the news again today.


No, he isn't bellowing some inane financial wisdom, rather, dissing two of the original Facebook founders, the Twinkle Toes Twins, or whatever their name is;


Larry Summers calls Winklevoss twins 'A**holes'

"One of the things you learn as a college president is that if an undergraduate is wearing a tie and jacket on Thursday afternoon at three o'clock, there are two possibilities. One is that they're looking for a job and have an interview; the other is that they are an a**hole. This was the latter case."

 


Ha, Ha, Ha, what a funny guy your are Larry.


Or, as Ryan Tate, over on Gawker states "Everyone at the money conference laughed, which means Summers has successfully found two people who are somehow even less popular than he is."


One thing people didn't laugh at, and you didn't learn, as a "college president" was managing your university's endowment, as Felix Salmon detailed, in his "How Larry Summers lost Harvard $1.8 billion", a few years ago.


I second Naomi Klein's call "Why We Should Banish Larry Summers From Public Life";

I vote to banish Larry Summers. Not from the planet. That wouldn't be nice. Just from public life.


[snip]


And this brings us to a central and often overlooked cause of the global financial crisis: Brain Bubbles. This is the process wherein the intelligence of an inarguably intelligent person is inflated and valued beyond all reason, creating a dangerous accumulation of unhedged risk. Larry Summers is the biggest Brain Bubble we've got.


Brain Bubbles start with an innocuous "whiz kid" moniker in undergrad, which later escalates to "wunderkind." Next comes the requisite foray as an economic adviser to a small crisis-wracked country, where the kid is declared a "savior." By 30, our Bubble Boy is tenured and officially a "genius." By 40, he's a "guru," by 50 an "oracle." After a few drinks: "messiah."


[snip]


And that's the problem with Larry. For all his appeals to absolute truths, he has been spectacularly wrong again and again. He was wrong about not regulating derivatives. Wrong when he helped kill Depression-era banking laws, turning banks into too-big-to-fail welfare monsters. And as he helps devise ever more complex tricks and spends ever more taxpayer dollars to keep the financial casino running, he remains wrong today.

It was funnier, Larry, when you used to sleep through meetings.


 


And, as far as Facebook goes, what is much, much more funnier, was Twitter's Biz Stone's turn on "Wait Wait ...Don't Tell Me" last weekend.


BEN SIDRAN - blue Daniel

1965 Blackout Anniversary

Forty-four years ago, this evening, panic swept through the Northeast, beginning around 5:30PM, as what became known as the Great Blackout, began



Power Failure Snarls Northeast; 800,000 Are Caught in Subways Here; Autos Tied Up; City Gropes In Dark

The largest power failure in history blacked out nearly all of New York City, parts of nine Northeastern states and two provinces of southeastern Canada last night. Some 80,000 square miles, in which perhaps 25 million people live and work, were affected.

Imagine something of this scale happening today.

No Twitter ... No Facebook ...

And the Right Wing Freak Show conspiracy theories ...

Asked whether there was any belief that sabotage might have been involved, Bill D. Moyers, the President's Press Secretary, would say only that "all of the resources of the Government" were being invoked in the investigation.

Later Mr. Johnson was advised that utility officials were "pretty well agreed upon the belief that there is substantially no chance of sabotage." Mr. Moyers said one theory was that the failure had been in automatic frequency control equipment.

If it occurred today, obviously, it would be some grand plot of the Obama Administration, to take over the electric grids, and dictate what people can do in their own homes.

Back then, we only got some innocuous UFO reports.

And, no doubt, some Ignorant Dolt of a PartyofNoican would probably use it to seek dissing woman, and ban abortion in this country.

More on Wikipedia - Northeast Blackout of 1965

Or, The Blackout History Project

Facebook'em Danno!

I have to admit, when I checked the byline for this story, I was somewhat disappointed that it didn't originate in Oklahoma.

At least, then, it would be understandable.

This guy gets an automatic pass for an Ignorant Dolt award;

Burglar leaves his Facebook page on victim’s computer

MARTINSBURG - The popular online social networking site Facebook helped lead to an alleged burglar's arrest after he stopped check his account on the victim's computer, but forgot to log out before leaving the home with two diamond rings.

Yikes!

The dimmest of dimwits.

If this cat is lucky, he'll get this kind of jury.


Bonus Links

Facebook burglar adds insult to injury

Burglars search Facebook, Twitter for targets; Social network users post information about big ticket purchases, vacations

Top Ten Cloves: Things Brett Favre Can Expect On His Return To The Green Bay Packers

News Item: Brett Favre forces the issue with comeback


10. Boasts, when he first walks in the locker room "I am the one you have been waiting for!"

9. Farrelly Brothers announce plan to make sequel to 'There's Something About Mary', but say Favre won't be in it

8. He demands a trade to the LA Dodgers, so he can play with Manny Ramirez

7. Gets surprising support from Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, who endorses Favre's plan to keep playing

6. A shocking new email surfaces, from Monica Goodling, recommending the Packers not hire Favre

5. John McCain will run an ad, with Britney Spear and Paris Hilton, accusing Favre of being a celebrity and not being ready to lead the Packers

4. He'll get back at the Packers by giving Bill Belichick film of the Packer's play signals

3. Walmart calls mandatory meeting and tells their managers not to cheer for Favre

2. After trashing Packer management, Green Bay media brings Favre box of donuts

1. Facebook launches new game - Favreulous!


Bonus Pigskin Posts

Flutie Sends "Cease-and-Desist" Letter To Media Over 'Hail Mary' References Regarding Surge; Diminutive QB Longtime Copyright Holder; "It Still Feeds My Family"; Says Open To Negotiate On Usage

Top Ten Cloves: Good Things About Losing The Super Bowl and Ending Up 18-1

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Reasons Peyton Manning Threw Six Interceptions Last Evening

Developing Story! Tancredo: Shut Down Super Bowl; Says Two Black Coaches "Amounts To Segregation"; Appeals To NFL Commissioner To Make Big Game "Color-Blind"; Biden Weighs In, Backs Coaches

More Steroid Hearings; The NFL Goes To Congress; McGwire Surprise Witness; Still Not Talking

Retro Garlic ... Food Fight!

There was a food fight, of sorts, recently, out in the Land of Silicon.

Seems the young upstarts at Facebook wanted some better grub and one place they knew they could get some, was from the older, more established upstarts, Google.

We'll let John Murrell, from GMSV take it;

Facebook poaches Google chef: There's always a danger when a key employee leaves for a new company that he or she will stir things up by taking a few co-workers along, but some defections can be particularly grating. Looking to coddle its growing workforce a bit more, Facebook started shopping for its own executive chef in January. And when Sheryl Sandberg came over from Google to become COO last month, she said she knew just the guy at her old place. Everything panned out and now, as Carolyn Jung (until recently, the Merc's food editor) reports at Food Gal, Josef Desimone has been whisked away to become the new Facecook. Valleywag tells us that Sandberg and Desimone blended well at the Googleplex, quoting one ex-employee saying, "Josef was Sheryl's favorite chef at Google. Every time she moved buildings, so did he." Apparently, though, not everyone is steamed at the departure. A health-conscious Googler tells Valleywag, "Everyone hated his cafes. He had the worst heavy, everything-fried menus." We await the reviews from the new venue. Now the question is whether Google will retaliate -- maybe Sergey Brin will hire away Mark Zuckerberg's personal ski waxer or something.

My, My, My ...

(Then, Facebook went out and knocked Google's teeth out, for mumbling about it.)

There's something about being a chef at Google ...

The Retro Part;

Google Fires Executive Chef; Caught Searching Recipes On Yahoo, MSN

Oh well, that's the way the cookie (digital or edible) crumbles, I guess ...


Bonus Google Moments

Garlic Exclusive! Google Launches Search for Famed Woman Aviator

Stymied By Publishers, Google To Digitize Bazooka Joe Comics

Google Launches Lobbyist; As Usual, In Beta-Mode and By-Invite Only