Top Ten Cloves: Things Brett Favre Can Expect On His Return To The Green Bay Packers

News Item: Brett Favre forces the issue with comeback


10. Boasts, when he first walks in the locker room "I am the one you have been waiting for!"

9. Farrelly Brothers announce plan to make sequel to 'There's Something About Mary', but say Favre won't be in it

8. He demands a trade to the LA Dodgers, so he can play with Manny Ramirez

7. Gets surprising support from Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, who endorses Favre's plan to keep playing

6. A shocking new email surfaces, from Monica Goodling, recommending the Packers not hire Favre

5. John McCain will run an ad, with Britney Spear and Paris Hilton, accusing Favre of being a celebrity and not being ready to lead the Packers

4. He'll get back at the Packers by giving Bill Belichick film of the Packer's play signals

3. Walmart calls mandatory meeting and tells their managers not to cheer for Favre

2. After trashing Packer management, Green Bay media brings Favre box of donuts

1. Facebook launches new game - Favreulous!


Bonus Pigskin Posts

Flutie Sends "Cease-and-Desist" Letter To Media Over 'Hail Mary' References Regarding Surge; Diminutive QB Longtime Copyright Holder; "It Still Feeds My Family"; Says Open To Negotiate On Usage

Top Ten Cloves: Good Things About Losing The Super Bowl and Ending Up 18-1

Top Ten Cloves: Possible Reasons Peyton Manning Threw Six Interceptions Last Evening

Developing Story! Tancredo: Shut Down Super Bowl; Says Two Black Coaches "Amounts To Segregation"; Appeals To NFL Commissioner To Make Big Game "Color-Blind"; Biden Weighs In, Backs Coaches

More Steroid Hearings; The NFL Goes To Congress; McGwire Surprise Witness; Still Not Talking

Top Ten Cloves: Things About U.S. Plans to Shoot Down Broken Spy Satellite

News Item: U.S. Plans to Shoot Down Broken Spy Satellite

10. Only reason Bush gave authorization? ... Another opportunity to throw on the flightsuit!

9. Arlen Specter is making waves; Wants investigation of satellite, to be sure it isn't part of Bill Belichick and New England Patriots spying operation

8. Grounding all astronauts around the time of the shooting ... Don't what them drunk and flying into the line-of-fire

7. Plans call for shooting it at the angle so the debris will fall to earth, directly over Iran

6. Mark McKinnon changing his mind - Now leaving McCain Campaign, not over Obama, but for the shooting down of the satellite

5. Thinking about outsourcing this to Blackwater, but fearful Blackwater will shoot down 17 innocent satellites

4. After its' shot down, White House will suddenly claim that's where all their emails were stored

3. Mike Huckabee has offered to loan the Navy Chuck Norris - If that happens, satellite will shoot itself down, just so it doesn't have to deal with Chuck Norris

2. Navy competing with Dick Cheney, who is going to be with his hunting buddies, at the Armstrong Ranch, taking shots at it

1. How do we know this isn't just another Filipino Monkey scam?


UPDATE - Bonus Riffs

Noah Shachtman, at Wired Blog Network: Experts Scoff at Sat Shoot-Down Rationale (Updated)