Wait Until The Ministry of Silly Walks Hears About This!

Minister: (rising) Mr Pudey, (he walks about behind the desk in a very silly fashion) the very real problem is one of money. I'm afraid that the Ministry of Silly Walks is no longer getting the kind of support it needs. You see there's Defense, Social Security, Health, Housing, Education, Silly Walks ... they're all supposed to get the same. But last year, the Government spent less on the Ministry of Silly Walks than it did on National Defence. Now we get £348,000,000 a year, which is supposed to be spent on all our available products. (he sits down) Coffee?

Mr Pudey: Yes please.

Minister: (pressing intercorn) Now Mrs Two-Lumps, would you bring us in two coffees please?

Intercom Voice: Yes, Mr Teabag.

Minister: ... Out of her mind. Now the Japanese have a man who can bend his leg back over his head and back again with every single step. While the Israelis... ah, here's the coffee.

Monty Python's The Ministry of Silly Walks

Now add taking a taxi to the Minister's woes.

He can lump it in with all the other troubles the Icelandic volcano ash is causing.



Being that he is already "disheartened", that fans in England think it "the 15th greatest comedy sketch of all time", John Cleese, likely, is not going to be happy with all the references to the Monty Python "Minister of Silly Walks" sketch.

Every Mode but Silly Walks to Get Around

LONDON — For the man who worked at the Ministry of Silly Walks, travel chaos across the Continent was only a modest hurdle.

John Cleese, who starred in the high-stepping sketch for Monty Python, was stranded in Oslo on Friday after appearing on a television talk show. With flights grounded by the volcanic ash over northern Europe, Mr. Cleese found another way home to London: He caught a cab.

With no planes flying and no way to get back by train or boat, Mr. Cleese’s agent in Norway, Kjetil Kristoffersen, called a friend who drives a taxi, and he agreed to take Mr. Cleese to Brussels.

[snip]

Mr. Cleese’s journey, with a fare of about $5,140, may have been costly, but it was not necessarily the most cumbersome trip travelers endured. With flights canceled and trains running out of space, many people resorted to their own ingenuity.

You can already hear the bevy of keyboards clicking, wannabe writers penning a "Made-for-Television' movie of this cab ride, or, what surely will be, scores of other off-beat tales that will settle in with the volcanic ash.

Especially, since scienctests are saying that "Iceland volcano eruption could last months", as well as other, bigger problems;

However, as Science Fair noted previously, the Eyjafjallajokull volcano isn't necessarily the main problem. It's Katla, Iceland's noisier neighbor, that's the concern. If lava flowing from Eyjafjallajokull melts the glaciers that hold down the top of Katla, then Katla could blow its top, pumping gigantic amounts of ash into the atmosphere.

Cleese was lucky to have a connection, others are not;

Demand for train tickets between Paris and London caused the Eurostar Web site to crash several times Friday morning, and long lines formed at ticket counters at Victoria bus station in London, where buses leave for Paris, Amsterdam and Munich via the tunnel under the English Channel.

[snip]

Some people resorted to a digital version of the old-fashioned hitchhiker’s thumb. Liftshare.com, a Web site based in Britain that matches drivers with passengers, experienced “a very marked increase” in international destinations served since British airports shut down, featuring destinations as far afield as Berlin, Warsaw, Vienna, Stockholm and Croatia, said Cecilia Bromley-Martin, the communications manager.

I think we might have only one solution for this problem - Chuck Norris.

After all, according to Chuck Norris Facts;

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.

Chuck Norris does not kick ass and take names. In fact, Chuck Norris kicks ass and assigns the corpse a number. It is currently recorded to be in the billions.

Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."

Bonus Riffs

Ron Beasley: Grounded for Decades?

Sarah Gordon - The ultimate barbecue: Iceland's volcano becomes the country's 'hottest' eatery

Greg Neale: How an Icelandic volcano helped spark the French Revolution

The Loon Star State

Holy Cow!

If we were to bestow our "Ignorant Dolt of the Week", on Chuck Norris, Glenn Beck, and the gang at Restore The Republic, we would have to retire it.

Or, otherwise, endure crippled fingers, being fed intraveniously, while writing a never-ending post.

Norris, in his "I may run for president of Texas"

On Glenn Beck's radio show last week, I quipped in response to our wayward federal government, "I may run for president of Texas." 

That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state. 

From the East Coast to the "Left Coast," America seems to be moving further and further from its founders' vision and government.

[Snip]

When I appeared on Glenn Beck's radio show, he told me that someone had asked him, "Do you really believe that there is going to be trouble in the future?" And he answered, "If this country starts to spiral out of control and Mexico melts down or whatever, if it really starts to spiral out of control, before America allows a country to become a totalitarian country (which it would have under I think the Republicans as well in this situation; they were taking us to the same place, just slower), Americans won't stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up." Then Glenn asked me and his listening audience, "And where's that going to come from?" He answered his own question, "Texas, it's going to come from Texas. Do you agree with that Chuck?" I replied, "Oh yeah!" Definitely

[Snip]

For those losing hope, and others wanting to rekindle the patriotic fires of early America, I encourage you to join Fox News' Glenn Beck, me and millions of people across the country in the live telecast, "We Surround Them," on Friday afternoon (March 13 at 5 p.m. ET, 4 p.m. CT and 2 p.m. PST). Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn's website. My wife Gena and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch, in which we've invited many family members, friends and law enforcement to join us. It's our way of saying "We're united, we're tired of the corruption, and we're not going to take it anymore!"

Again, Sam Houston put it well when he gave the marching orders, "We view ourselves on the eve of battle. We are nerved for the contest, and must conquer or perish. It is vain to look for present aid: None is at hand. We must now act or abandon all hope! Rally to the standard, and be no longer the scoff of mercenary tongues! Be men, be free men, that your children may bless their father's name."

And, Norris ends, with what else, a plug;

(Note: Speaking of showdowns, Chuck is also inviting anyone near the Houston area this weekend to see a good example of the raw Texas fighting spirit by joining him and others for the national martial arts event, "Showdown in H-Town.")

On Beck's "We Surround Them" page, he lists the "Nine Principle" from those crazy kids at Restore The Republic;

The Nine Principles

1. America is good. 

2. I believe in God and He is the Center of my Life. 

3. I must always try to be a more honest person than I was yesterday.

4. The family is sacred. My spouse and I are the ultimate authority, not the government. 

5. If you break the law you pay the penalty. Justice is blind and no one is above it. 

6. I have a right to life, liberty and pursuit of happiness, but there is no guarantee of equal results. 

7. I work hard for what I have and I will share it with who I want to. Government cannot force me to be charitable. 

8. It is not un-American for me to disagree with authority or to share my personal opinion. 

9. The government works for me. I do not answer to them, they answer to me.

Dana Houle aka DHinMI has a good line;

Well, I'm glad they're convening on a Texas ranch. Because, you know, gun-loving people making seditious comments on Texas ranches...well, that never turns out bad. As Kossack ablington sardonically put it, "it's like the Obama house parties, but with more guns!"

Will Bunch, at Attytood, has a good handle on it;

Meanwhile, less than two months into the Obama administration, right-wingers are stocking the basement pantry, piling up the shotguns and organizing "cells," all with the help of a talk-show host who coincidentially became unhinged after he drove down the ratings at CNN Headline News, something that most people didn't think was possible. There's a lot to hash out in this country over the next few years but it's becoming more and more clear who respects the Constitution, and who does not.

Steven D., on Booman Tribune, has "Questions";

And why are Glenn Beck and Chuck Norris pimping for another revolution by "right wing cells" to overthrow the elected government of the United States? For what else can a program to be aired by Beck with the name "We Surround Them" possibly refer to other than a threat of violence against not only the Obama administration but also anyone and everyone who doesn't believe as Norris and Beck do?

Vanishing American, a supporter of the secession and resistance, has his wistful doubts the Big T can pull it off;

I would like to think Norris (and Beck) are right about Texas, though my confidence varies. Sometimes I believe the old spirit is still there, then I have to face the sober reality that Texas is now a different place, populated by different people than in its glory days, during the war for independence and the days of the Republic. And when I say that, I don't just mean the presence of millions of immigrants and others whose roots are not Texan, but the fact that the younger generations have grown up in a different world and have been thoroughly indoctrinated against all that the old Texas stood for.

But then at other times, I feel sure there is enough of the old spirit present that a resurgent Texas is possible.

Sounds, kind of like, a chicken-fried, Texas-version of the old Monty Python "Poor Sketch" - "Oooooh, we used to dream of living in a corridor. It would have been a palace to us" ..."You can't tell the young people of the day that. They won't believe you."

Boy, what would they be plotting if Hillary won?

Sounds like we need to cut some Stimulus Money to the Secret Service, to keep tabs on these dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds.

While these nitwits have their big meet, on one of Norris's Texas ranches, planning and plotting the overthrow of the country, perhaps the rest of can start the debate on why the hell did we ever fight with Mexico over Texas?

Bonus Looney Tunes 

Ron Moore: Chuck Norris claims thousands of right wing cell groups exist and will rebel against U.S. government

Alan Colmes: Chuck Norris May Run For President Of Texas

ALERT - Restore The Republic Message To All Armed Forces
H/T to Steve D. on Booman Tribune

Libby Spencer: Nearly seditious

Glenn Greenwald: Fox News "war games" the coming civil war

David Neiwert: Glenn Beck wants to kick California out of the Union

Thank God, We Have So Many Media Options In This Country ... So People Can Be Informed!

Nicole Belle, over on Crooks and Liars, has a gem-of-a-gem post today.

It's a video of a few Mike Huckabee supporters, with a crystal clear grasp of the 2008 Presidential Campaign, and why they are firmly behind The Huckster.

As Nicole states;

"It never fails that every day, someone will leave a comment asking us why we spend so much time watching news shows and pointing out Republican framing and other types of media bias."

It's really an amazing spectacle .. A Must-See-Video!

Click over and check out "Why We Do What We Do"

(And be prepared to do a good deal of head-shaking)


Bonus Huckabee Links

Quad City Times: Huckabee pokes fun at Bush over reading intelligence reports

Attytood: Huckabee goes all Santorum on us

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Chuck Norris Will Keep Mike Huckabee From Getting Old In The White House, If He's Elected

Top Ten Cloves: Things About U.S. Plans to Shoot Down Broken Spy Satellite

News Item: U.S. Plans to Shoot Down Broken Spy Satellite

10. Only reason Bush gave authorization? ... Another opportunity to throw on the flightsuit!

9. Arlen Specter is making waves; Wants investigation of satellite, to be sure it isn't part of Bill Belichick and New England Patriots spying operation

8. Grounding all astronauts around the time of the shooting ... Don't what them drunk and flying into the line-of-fire

7. Plans call for shooting it at the angle so the debris will fall to earth, directly over Iran

6. Mark McKinnon changing his mind - Now leaving McCain Campaign, not over Obama, but for the shooting down of the satellite

5. Thinking about outsourcing this to Blackwater, but fearful Blackwater will shoot down 17 innocent satellites

4. After its' shot down, White House will suddenly claim that's where all their emails were stored

3. Mike Huckabee has offered to loan the Navy Chuck Norris - If that happens, satellite will shoot itself down, just so it doesn't have to deal with Chuck Norris

2. Navy competing with Dick Cheney, who is going to be with his hunting buddies, at the Armstrong Ranch, taking shots at it

1. How do we know this isn't just another Filipino Monkey scam?


UPDATE - Bonus Riffs

Noah Shachtman, at Wired Blog Network: Experts Scoff at Sat Shoot-Down Rationale (Updated)

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Chuck Norris Will Keep Mike Huckabee From Getting Old In The White House, If He's Elected

News Item - Norris: McCain may be too old for the White House

10. For anyone using Google to search "How old is President Mike Huckabee" or "Is President Mike Huckabee getting old", they don't get search results, they get an asskicking from Chuck Norris

9. Chuck Norris will veto any aging with his fists

8. When stress and pressure enter the Oval Office, they don't see President Mike Huckabee, they see Chuck Norris and get their asses kicked

7. Chuck Norris will stare down everyone, stare them down so hard, they get old while President Mike Huckabee stays young

6. The red, hot-line phone in the Oval Office will never ring and bother President Mike Huckabee ... World Leaders know, if they call, all they're going to get is a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris coming out of the receiver on their end

5. Fearful of what might happen, the hair on President Mike Huckabee's head will stay black, so they won't have to deal with Chuck Norris

4. Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick any part of the aging process that comes near President Mike Huckabee

3. No recycled air, or chance of crashing, President Mike Huckabee won't use Air Force One ... He'll fly on Chuck Norris

2. The candles on a President Mike Huckabee birthday cake will be so scared, seeing Chuck Norris there, they'll blow themselves out, wishing for President Mike Huckabee to stay young

1. If John McCain tries to send his 95-year-old mother over to wash Chuck Norris's mouth out with soap, he'll karate-kick the soap down her throat, and then go over to McCain and wash his mouth out with her roundhouse-kicked body


(H/T to Chuck Norris Facts, for the inspiration)