Oh boy, here we go again ...
Hillary soliciting and taking fake questions has brought America's favorite fake journalist - Jeff Gannon - out of his cubicle (Hmmm, wonder if it's styled after Jimmy Olson, famous cub reporter, or if he goes for the edgier, disheveled look, ala Bernstein and Woodward from 'All The President's Men', or maybe the retro, art deco Cary Grant-His Girl Friday motif?).
Following the Bush Grindhouse's attempt to just bypass all pretense of formality and conduct their own press conference - with their own people posing as journalists (see "Wag The FEMA"), Mr. Gannon, much to our surprise, left a lengthy comment, which we recount in "Jeff Gannon Speaks ... To The Garlic!".
And, it was discovered, that Gannon, much to our chagrin, was merely spamming the comment on just about any blog or site that noted his status as a fake journalist.
He's Still Copying-and-Pasting!
This week, he's badgering Jon Perr, over on Perrspectives, using the same exact comment (if your linked challenged, it's merely a copy-and-paste of a post from his own website)
He hits Perr's post “Hillary's Planted Questions and George W. Bush, Master of Political Theater” with his annoying self-promotion, to which Perr counters back with “Jeff Gannon Selling Book, Himself in the Blogs?”.
Now Perr had the same reaction as The Garlic, wondering if this was the real Jeff Gannon, or a fake Jeff Gannon (which we run that out in the Jeff Gannon Speaks post).
Gannon - and, remember, he's a "real journalist" now - counters back with more self-promotion, basically regurgitating the self-promotion he initially copy-and-pasted, and fanning out his feathers in the process.
Perr has responded back, asking for, well, verification of his claims and we've yet to hear back from the boy reporter.
It's The Dollars ... It's Always The Fucking Dollars ...
Just out of curiosity, The Garlic wanted to get a sense of Jeff Gannon, and his ever-puffed-up claims of being a real, professional, accredited journalist.
So, we took a cue from The Decider/Commander/Shakespeare Guy and used "The Google".
Jeff Gannon certainly is a popular fellow.
Searching Jeff Gannon: Results 1 - 10 of about 308,000 for Jeff Gannon.
Okay, he had his 15-minutes of fame, so that doesn't seem to be out-of-line.
Searching Jeff Gannon + Journalist: Results 1 - 10 of about 64,800 for Jeff Gannon + Journalist
Hmmm ... Pretty big drop there
Searching Jeff Gannon + Professional Journalist: Results 1 - 10 of about 12,000 for Jeff Gannon + Professional Journalist.
Yikes! ...
Searching Jeff Gannon + Accredited Journalist: Results 1 - 10 of about 9,860 for Jeff Gannon + Accredited Journalist.
The floor is caving in ...
Now, admittedly, this isn't all that scientific, and we lay no claims that this is the definitive judgment on whether or not Jeff Gannon is a real or fake journalist.
However, the trend shines through;
The further Jeff Gannon moves away from his heritage of being a fake journalist, the less popular he becomes.
Here's The New Plan
So Jeff, if you really want to sell that new book of yours, I suppose the laborious process of spam commenting might move a few copies.
But if you embrace, and run with, the fake journalist angle, sky's the limit!
Take a cue from others.
Abbie Hoffman. Noted social and political activist (I realize your rightwing buddies would probably describe him as a radical).
He played into his public image and put out "Steal This Book".
You can tweak things a bit.
I'll give you the "America's Favorite Fake Reporter" to use ... Maybe have one of your old escort photos on the cover (any publisher will tell you, sex sells) ... Get some new testimonials for the dust jacket ... You know, the Faux News crowd, or, whoever it was that snuck you into the White House ...
Ari Fleischer is running a new propaganda unit, he may be able to prop you up again.
Instead of combing through Google, or Technorati, Memeorandum, et all, to see who's dissing you, so you can do your copy-and-paste thing, you make these changes and you won't have time for spam commenting, you'll be hitting the circuit, the toast of the town.
There's a brand new 15-minutes of fame spotlight waiting for you Jeff Gannon.
Can't you just see all those book-signing posters, heralding "Tuesday, 2PM - America's Favorite Fake Reporter", with a photo of your newly-designed (remember, sex sells) book cover?
And if you really hit it right, think Oprah, and think the dressing down she gave that other fake author.
Through the roof, baby! ... Through the roof!
America's Favorite Fake Reporter
