Showing posts with label John Boehner Crying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Boehner Crying. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Top Ten Cloves: Surprises On First Day of GOP Majority In Congress


10. Representative Steve King (R-IA) insists on having title of House Majority Idiot

9. Republicans hire Rulon Gardner to taunt out-going Democrats as "The Biggest Losers"

8. To save time, GOP Majority insists all floor speeches need to be a Twitter-like 140-characters, or less

7. First Bill - All members need to be as tanned as new Speaker of the House, John Boehner

6. New Majority Whip Eric Cantor challenges King as to being House Majority Idiot

5. Swearing in new members is delayed, as newly-elected Tea Party Congressmen show up with misspelled signs and shout down the speaker

4. New Speaker of House Ceremony delayed - Gavel keeps slipping out of Nancy Pelosi's hand due to it being soaking wet from John Boehner's crying

3. Michele Bachmann got so excited with having the Majority, she gets confused and starts investigating herself for Anti-American activities

2. Big confusion - Tea Party Members thought they were reading The Constitution, but, due to error, actually are reading leaked cables by WikiLeaks

1. LeBron James shows up, announces he's "Taking his talents to the Congress"


Bonus Links




Tuesday, May 13, 2008

This Message, Brought To You By ... The GOP!


Leave it to the nitwit Congressional Republicans.


Attempting to take a proverbial shower, to get their own, self-generated slime off themselves, they go "Hey, let's come up with a nifty slogan ... That oughta do it!"

And what do they - drumroll, please - come up with?

"The Change You Deserve."


From NYT The Caucus;

In a memo to be sent to Republican members today, the leadership hints at a new slogan building on the change message that has already been shown to have political resonance with a public unhappy with the nation’s direction.

“Through our “Change You Deserve” message and through our “American Families Agenda,” House Republicans will continue our efforts to speak directly to an American public looking for leaders who will offer real solutions for the challenges they confront every day,” said the memo prepared for lawmakers.

The real solutions for the challenges we confront everyday is a boatload of impeachments, followed by new Congressman that uphold the Constitution, possess ethics and integrity, but that's a horse to run on another day.

Because, this GOP Cleansing Shower gets ... Well ... You just can't make this stuff up

GOP's New Slogan Already Being Used To Market Anti-Depressant
What the GOP doesn't seem to realize, because they are idiots, is that "the change you deserve" is the registered advertising slogan of Effexor XR, a drug that many of you might have started taking as a result of all the...you know -- terrorism. (Hat tip to Bluestem for catching this gem.)

Effexor, also known as Venlafaxine, is approved for the treatment "of depression, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and panic disorder in adults." Its common side effects are very much in keeping with the world the House Republicans have striven to build: nausea, apathy, constipation, fatigue, vertigo, sexual dysfunction, sweating, memory loss, and - and I swear I am not making this up - "electric shock-like sensations also called 'brain zaps.'"

Maybe their fearless leader, John Boehner should start using this stuff ...

The drug could provide him with a little more empathy and humanity ...

Or, it just might help him with his crying jags.


Bonus Links

John Cole: This Will Be Rich

Steve Benen: Republican ‘re-branding’ poised to launch

New GOP/RNC Slogan - “Two Parties Enter ... One Party Leads” – Echoes Through Senate Today; GOP Taunts Dems After Shooting Down Pullout Vote; Takes On New ‘Mad Max” Slogan To Laud Majority And Cool Down Cut-And-Run Charges


Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Is John Boehner Consulting The Romney Campaign, Giving Make-Up Mitt Crying Lessons?


Maybe there's a product endorsement deal from Kleenex?


Make-Up Mitt Romney has been bawling his eyes out lately. If it gets any worse, someone will remake the movie and title it "Play Romney For Me".

Joe Gandelman, over at The Moderate Voice offers a good post today - "Advice For Mitt Romney: Beware Of Too Much Crying";

"Romney first misted up when recalling how he felt when he heard his LDS Church admitted blacks to the priesthood in 1978. And, then, a day later, he misted up when he talked about how he felt in seeing a casket of a fallen soldier killed in Iraq and imagining it could have been one of his sons.

Fortunately for Romney, his two eye-mistings in two days happened when Jay Leno and David Lettermen were in re-runs due to the writers’ strike. And there is a larger political danger."
But Joe doesn't offer, perhaps, the only explanation - Is John Boehner now a consultant for the Romney campaign? Is he giving Make-Up Mitt crying lessons?

Boehner is the reigning champ of crying, flooding the House floor on numerous occasions this past year.

Must be a new, macho thing ... Something along the lines of "Real men eat quiche ... Real men cry ..."

I wonder if Make-Up Mitt cried, after discovering he left the family dog on the roof of the car, on a long road trip?

Romney seems to be taking on the persona of our Court Appointed President (h/t Barry Crimmins), pulling the "you can't criticize me" routine.

He cried and whined about people picking on him because he is a Mormon, so much to the point, that he just had to do something about it.

Building it up like he was going to lay it all on-the-line, sucking up comparisons to JFK, and his 1960 Catholic speech, Make-Up Mitt went out, stayed as far away from Mormonism as he could (only mentioning the word "Mormon" once), and delivered a clunker of a boiler-plate speech on faith.

While most of the MSM is treating Romney's fast food faith speech last week (see The Garlic's "Romney Speech: Where's Leonard Pinth Garnell When You Really Need Him?") like it was the "Song of Bernadette", both Lawrence O'Donnell (twice, having to fight back against an onslaught of double-barreled criticism) and Frank Rich saw through it.

So Make-Up Mitt has to up-the-ante (or, perhaps he forgot to cry during his speech), and get all misty with Little Timmy Russert, on 'Meet The Press', telling of the first time he cried, about learning his church was now - suddenly - accepting of blacks;
I was driving home from, I think, it was law school, but I was driving home, going through the Fresh Pond rotary in Cambridge, Massachusetts. I heard it on the radio, and I pulled over and, and literally wept...
Hmmm ... I was born-and-raised in Cambridge, Massachusetts ... I wonder if Make-Up Mitt pulled over at the IHOP (though, it could have still been a Howard Johnson's back then) or the liquor store, because those were the two most prominent establishments on either side of the rotary (and he didn't say he pulled into the Fresh Pond Mall, which would have been about 200-ft from the rotary) and in the direction he would have been heading, going home, up to Belmont.

We should mention that the Fresh Pond Rotary, with its' heavy, peak-time traffic, where one could wait double-digit minutes before someone will let you through, has been known to frustrate drivers, perhaps, to the point of tears.

But we digress.

We're not here to talk about urban planning and gridlock, but rather to point out the continued pandering of Make-Up Mitt.

If he thinks he can pass off policy and positions by sprinkling a few tears on them, think again.

But then again, we already rated Make-Up Mitt's chances of winning the presidency;
"Hey, we do have 2000 as precedent, and, anyway, you'll likely see Elvis, with monkeys flying out of his ass, before that happens."
And, as it has been said, over and over, "Elvis has left the building".

But don't tell Make-Up Mitt that ... He might start crying again.


Bonus Make-Up Mitt Riffs (with no tears)

Ryan J. Davis: Lawrence O'Donnell was Right About Mormonism

Michael Scherer: "A vote for Romney is a vote for Satan"; Some members of the GOP's largest voting bloc, like Florida preacher Bill Keller, think a Mormon in the White House would mean more souls going to hell.

Top Ten Cloves: Disappointing Things Left Out of Mitt Romney's Mormon Speech Yesterday

Breaking News! Romney On Debate Gaffe: "Meant To Say I Would Consult With My Sons"; Candidate Feverishly Works To Correct Impression; Campaign Said To Be Firing All Its' Lawyers

"You question me? ... My faith is out to here!"

Friday, November 02, 2007

"Why The Hell We Listening To A Bunch of Limeys" ... List Junkies, Have At It ... The Telegraph's Top 100 Liberals and Conservatives


Oh boy, can't wait to see the fur flying on this one.


Who made the list ... Who didn't make the list ... Why was my guy #5, he should have been #1 ... Why is this person even on the list ... Here's my own list ... Your list sucks ... Their list sucks ... Why the hell we listening to a bunch of Limeys... Who you calling a Limey, you pinhead ...

There'll be passion, there'll be despair ... I wouldn't rule out someone making a witty anagram out of the lists ... Oh yeah, YouTube songs ... Dozens-and-dozens, putting the lists to music and dittys (Hmmm ... Can you smell one, something like "My List In A Box"?)

The United Kingdom's Telegraph has on-line today the Top 100 U.S. Liberals and Conservatives Lists, which they say was motivated on "The 2008 election is arguably the most open contest since 1928. The victor will become the most powerful person in the world at a time of almost unprecedented challenge and turmoil."

"We have chosen political candidates, pollsters, campaign operatives, members of think tanks, journalists, bloggers, fundraisers, big-money donors and the occasional celebrity."

Someone is bound to be crying over this (perhaps John Boehner).

So, grab a tall cool one, kick back and Google, or check out Memeorandum, every hour or so, and be thoroughly entertained.

The Links

The top US conservatives and liberals

Why Bush failed to make our Top 20

Attytood: America's "most influential" conservative isn't conservative

Glenn Greenwald: Petraeus named second most influential "conservative"


#2 Lies Harder