We Already Know What He Was Thinking - Us vs. Them

They can't be serious, can they?

The Commander Guy, Mr. Mission Accomplished, The "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" Reading List Man, is going to write a book?



He dropped word of it, during his all-but super-secret speech up in Canada, where some where looking for the Canadian Government to arrest him as a War Criminal;

Bush: Won't criticize Obama, says he 'deserves my silence'

Bush said that he doesn't know what he will do in the long term but that he will write a book that will ask people to consider what they would do if they had to protect the United States as president.

He said it will be fun to write and that ``it's going to be (about) the 12 toughest decisions I had to make.''

``I'm going to put people in my place, so when the history of this administration is written at least there's an authoritarian voice saying exactly what happened,'' Bush said.

``I want people to understand what it was like to sit in the Oval Office and have them come in and say we have captured Khalid Sheik Mohammed, the mastermind of the Sept. 11 attacks, the alleged killer of a guy named Danny Pearl because he was simply Jewish, and we think we have information on further attacks on the United States,'' Bush said.

Bush didn't specify what the 12 hardest decisions were but said Iraq is better off without Saddam Hussein in power.

Yes, we quite sure it will be done in an "authoritarian voice".

Much like his dictatorship.

Funny, Boot-Lickin' Mike Allen doesn't mention that malapropism in his article today, gushing, almost breathlessly, "Former President George W. Bush has already written about 30,000 words of a memoir tentatively called “Decision Points” that will cover everything from how he found faith to how he quit drinking to how he chose Karl Rove and Dick Cheney for their jobs" and "The chapters include: the terrorist attacks of 9/11; the decisions to send American troops to Afghanistan and Iraq; the response to Hurricane Katrina; his commitment to fight AIDS around the world; the formation of his stem cell research policy; and his relationships with his father, mother, siblings, and wife."

We already know, with reams-and-reams of documentation, what he did in those circumstances.

He ginned up, manufactured evidence, and lied about having to invade and occupy Iraq, and, when they started catching some of the terrorists, they launched a chain of black hole prisons, Abu Ghraib and Gitmo, and ordered torture.

It was Us versus Them.

And, that included domestically, calling anyone who challenged his decrees, traitors and appeasers.

HIS Executive Office, HIS Vice President engineered the exposure of a covert CIA Agent, for political retribution, for calling out one of his lies.

Listen, from the Allen piece, how Chris Michel, Bush’s last director of speechwriting, is already spinning it;

The former president often e-mails and calls Michel and people from the White House, including Josh Bolten, his former chief of staff, and Steve Hadley, his former national security adviser.

“He’s having a lot of fun doing it,” the aide said. “He’s reliving some great moments, and thinking about how he can bring the reader into his shoes or put them in his seat for a fascinating period in history.”

He’s having a lot of fun doing it!

He lied us into war and melted down the country, but the important thing, he's having fun with revising his legacy!

With the book, scheduled for a Fall 2010 release, Steve M., of No More Mister Nice Blog, calls attention to the Mid-Terms at that time, and The Bush Grindhouse program of "The Permanent Campaign";

This isn't going to be a memoir -- it's going to be a campaign book. The timing is based on the assumption that the GOP base will be more motivated than the Democratic base in the next round of midterms, that they'll be furious at Obama (they already are), and that (after being softened up by Laura) they'll be ready to be moved again by the story of the brush-clearin' good ol' boy whom God personally steered away from Demon Rum and directly into a fight to the death with the evildoers, as opposed to the Kenyan-born Muslim America-hating effete basketball-playing interloper. There'll be a torrent of compare-and-contrast op-eds from right-wing hacks, and a book tour will ensue, managed as carefully as Bush's campaign appearances, with Dubya packed into pre-selected crowds of worshipful loyalists.

That ought to be very interesting, the PartyofNoicans having to carry that dead weight through, yet, another election.



Now, if they really want to put a book out that captures the Bush Grindhouse, that "puts us in his shoes" and flies off the shelves, he should write about the "12 toughest lies"

You know, takes from the facts, to how the cronies of the Bush Grindhouse, the White House Iraq Group (you can probably cull a good number of whoopers from these files), the VP's office, would dissect them, start inserting the lies, spins and smears, and then, the final product.

You know, kind of along the lines of a "Before" and "After" picture.

Be sure to have, at least, one chapter on the "mushroom clouds", 'cause that has to bring up fond memories

Oh yeah, two more things.

Remember your mouthpiece's advice, about "From a marketing point of view, you don't introduce new products in August", so when you say "Fall of 2010", be sure it's after Labor Day.

And, embrace the Shoe Cannon, for, more than likely, it will be accompanying you on your book tour.


Bonus Our Pet President Riffs

Motoko Rich: ‘The Decider’ to Become ‘The Author’

Robert Stein: Bush's Chinese-Menu Memoir

White House "Embarrassed"; Bush Victory Strategy Speech Written By PR Agency ... Gave President Wrong Folder; Iraqi Newspaper Prints Slams Against Murtha, Kerry, Pelosi

New White House Iraq and Iran Group ...IG Report Casts Doubts On New Bush Security Plan; Says Nation “Out of Strategies” ...Shortage of Strategy Makers and Bush Administration Wiping Out Inventory Puts Office On Brink Of Crisis

Breaking News! Report Slams Seeds Of Democracy Currently Used “Worthless” ... Stunning IG Reports Cites Use Of Cheap, Mail-Order Seeds Of Democracy For Iraq, Middle East ...Spotlight On White House, Rumsfeld For Low-Cost Military Vision; Dirty Halliburton Water Also Cited

Breaking News! With DisneyBaghdad, Bush Says “Nobody Wins Hearts and Minds Better Than Disney ...Disney, With Secret Contract, Working With White House, Military On Building Baghdad Moats ...‘Pirates of the Caliphate’, Other Attractions To Mask Security Measures; State Dept. Touts “DisneyBaghdad Will Pay For Itself”

Breaking News! Analyst: President May Soon Need To Deny He Has Troops In Iraq ...White House Plunges Into New Iraq Strategy; Moving From ‘Keystone Cops’ To ‘Marx Brothers’ ...Denials Of “Stay The Course” Signal Major Shift; Possible Complete Erasing Of Iraq May Come In Time For MidTerms

"Why The Hell We Listening To A Bunch of Limeys" ... List Junkies, Have At It ... The Telegraph's Top 100 Liberals and Conservatives

Oh boy, can't wait to see the fur flying on this one.

Who made the list ... Who didn't make the list ... Why was my guy #5, he should have been #1 ... Why is this person even on the list ... Here's my own list ... Your list sucks ... Their list sucks ... Why the hell we listening to a bunch of Limeys... Who you calling a Limey, you pinhead ...

There'll be passion, there'll be despair ... I wouldn't rule out someone making a witty anagram out of the lists ... Oh yeah, YouTube songs ... Dozens-and-dozens, putting the lists to music and dittys (Hmmm ... Can you smell one, something like "My List In A Box"?)

The United Kingdom's Telegraph has on-line today the Top 100 U.S. Liberals and Conservatives Lists, which they say was motivated on "The 2008 election is arguably the most open contest since 1928. The victor will become the most powerful person in the world at a time of almost unprecedented challenge and turmoil."

"We have chosen political candidates, pollsters, campaign operatives, members of think tanks, journalists, bloggers, fundraisers, big-money donors and the occasional celebrity."

Someone is bound to be crying over this (perhaps John Boehner).

So, grab a tall cool one, kick back and Google, or check out Memeorandum, every hour or so, and be thoroughly entertained.

The Links

The top US conservatives and liberals

Why Bush failed to make our Top 20

Attytood: America's "most influential" conservative isn't conservative

Glenn Greenwald: Petraeus named second most influential "conservative"

#2 Lies Harder

Top Ten Cloves: If Juan Williams Had Taken President Bush To Sylvia's Restaurant In Harlem

News Item: Bush cherry picks Juan Williams for an interview and NPR refuses

10. Right off the bat, President nervous - Doesn't know whether to say "Hello" or "Hola"

9. President Bush surprised that Sylvia was no different than any other restaurant in Washington DC

8. CNN's Rick Sanchez would be standing outside, screaming at the top of his lungs, that he should be doing the interview

7. Williams starts bashing Ludacris and Snoop Dog and the President smiles, not knowing what-the-hell he was talking about and makes a mental note to check The Google when he got home

6. Sylvia, in advance of the visit, would have a special, phonetically-enhanced menu for the President

5. During the interview, Williams gets rattled when he thinks he sees a Phony Black Leader come into the restaurant

4. Williams would begin asking the President about how awful the Jena situation is and President would get defensive, telling Williams to leave his daughter out of the interview

3. Showing his Compassionate Conservatism, President Bush would ask the other patrons if their childrens were learning

2. To impress the President, Williams might order some "M-fer" Iced Tea

1. Bush starts thinking of a new nickname he could give himself, like "Soul Prez" or "Most Def Prez"

Bonus Links

Dan Froomkin: Bush's Media Cherry Picking

Howard Kurtz: NPR Rebuffs White House On Bush Talk; Radio Network Wanted To Choose Its Interviewer

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things Kayne West Knows That President Bush Doesn't Care About

Garlictorial: Happy 4th of July ... Okay, It May Be Down To This .... Citizen's Arrest!

The FBI guys promised me a deal. So I made up a lot of stuff about Michael Corleone. Because then, that's what they wanted. But it was all lies. Everything. They said Michael Corleone did this, Michael Corleone did that. So I said, "Yeah, sure."

Frank Pentangeli from the film 'Godfather II'

President Bush (or The Commutation Guy) looked absolutely lost yesterday, leaving Walter Reed Medical Center and offering his first comments to reporters on his commutation of I. Lewis 'Scooter' Libby's sentence. He looked about as comfortable as Frankie Five Angels did testifying to Congress.

Maybe Cheney didn't brief him thoroughly. Or, perhaps, Cheney flew in Jeb, standing him behind the reporters, but in clear view by the President, just enough to shake him up, toe the line.

Happy 4th of July .. We're back up in Kennebunkport again this stretched out holiday ... No Flies this year - Even they find the setting too rancid ... Either that, with Putin around, they were afraid the food might be laced with polonium-210 ...

What better way to celebrate the birth of our nation then to settle into a mushrooming Constitutional Crises.

Where do you want to start?

The build-up to the invasion and occupation of Iraq? ... The soon-to-follow CIA Leak Case?... Hurricane Katrina?... The Injustice Department?... The Cheney split-off to a fourth branch of government?

In case Congress wasn't paying attention, perhaps distracted by Lindsey Lohan's 21st birthday, Bush's commutation of Libby's sentence is, clearly, not a shot across the bow, but a direct, carefully-aimed targeted blast at them, telling them, "Yeah, sure ... Go ahead, investigate all you want ... No under my watch is going to do any time"

I mean, if the Bush Grindhouse (and the new Cheney branch) are so willing to fuck over a federal judge, a federal court, and an Appellate Court, what would make Congress believe that what they do would have any weight?

Let's face it, The Decider Guy has, gleefully, been altering and rewriting their work via his handy Signing Statements - undeterred and unchecked - for virtually the entire run of his stolen presidency.

So, what to do ...

Unfortunately, the historic Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, early on, stated that Impeachment was "off the table" (and The Garlic, not too long ago, called for Pelosi to reconsider, pointing out the obvious - We need a bigger table).

Many since have come out, and while wishing it could be undertaken, have said Impeachment wouldn't work ... That the Bush Grindhouse would drag out time in court over Executive Privilege... That no way you could get enough Senators - and in particular, Republicans - and Congressmen to vote in favor for it.

You have to think, that if it were brought forward (Hey guys, you can see Dennis Kucinich to get up-to-speed on this), Pelosi and Reed could coral the Democrats behind Impeachment.

And for the Republicans ... See the words above - Constitutional Crises.

That doesn't limit or define itself to one party. That means the country is in peril - the Red part and the Blue part.

If you don't notice the cinder block of the Iraq Invasion and Occupation tied to your leg as you jump in the 2008 pool, this weeks' Libby fiasco is the Bush Grindhouse tying another one to the other leg.

And if the Commutation Guy morphs into The Pardon Guy, before he leaves office, and before the 2008 election, you might as well save your money, pull back and sit this one out. You'll set precedents for embarrassing, lopsided losses.

One more thing.

Your party went way, way overboard in their rush to impeach President Bill Clinton - for a blow job.

A blow job that didn't;

• Endanger our National Security
• Invade and occupy a country that made no such action on us
• Kill or wound any U.S. Soldiers
• Expose any covert CIA agents
• Ignore and strand the City of New Orleans
• Fire any U.S. Attorneys for partisan politics
• Run its' agenda via Signing Statements
• Declare it was neither part of the Executive or Legislative Branch

You owe us big time on this!

Citizen's Arrest

Now, the Declaration of Independence, thankfully, does gives us hope-filled instructions.

That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.

So, if Congress doesn't pick up the bat on this one, we may be down to our last option.

There must be some tiny hamlet, some Main Street USA berg that would be willing to put themselves on the map, become the saviors of our nation. A Sheriff with balls, a U.S. Attorney ready to swing back for justice.

Think Truth or Consequences, New Mexico... You can change your name to Citizen's Arrest and really cash in on it.

Leave history for a moment. For starters, think of the economic boon it would be.

The MSM media camped out for weeks, eating in your diners, sleeping in your motels (if you have a hotel, even better), shopping in your stores. Same for the protesters that will show up.

We're talking millions here.

Anderson Cooper will likely become your best friend ... Morning interviews on the Today Show (and, if the timing is right, perhaps you'll make it into a "Where In The World Is Matt Lauer" segment) ... Diane Sawyer ... Larry King ... Weeks-and-weeks of MSNBC Doc-Blocks ... 24/7 baby, all the way.

Yeah, Bill O'Reilly and Fox Noise might launch a jihad against you, but we can get Keith Olbermann to handle them.

And there's other revenue streams.

Bush and Cheney in orange jumpsuits - Priceless!

Will suggest here that you bypass the MSM and go straight to eBay with the photos ... Or better yet, GoldenPalace.Com... It won't cost you much to stencil on the jumpsuits, or use Velcro, to plaster their logo to them ...

And if you have a Mayberry-style, two-cell jail, all the better.

Support ... You'll have about half the country and a loyal blogosphere behind you.

If there were blogs and cell phone cameras back when Jim Garrison was investigating the JFK Assassination, he'd be a hero instead of a joke ... We'd have Garrison civic buildings and Garrison Avenues all across the land.

And here's the best part of making the Citizen's Arrest.

You can use the Patriot Act ... Declare the dynamic duo enemy combatants - you won't even have to charge them with anything, for years, anyway ...

The closing of Gitmo has been called for, among many reasons, as a means to demonstrate to the world that we are a nation of laws, that we wish to rejoin the world community as a trusted friend.

The quickest way to do that - and it would send an even louder declaration of our good will - will be to impeach President George W. Bush and Vice President Richard B. Cheney. Put them before the World Court, for their crimes against humanity.

Let's make America, America again

So you small towns out there, get a glove, get in the game.

Make millions and save the country ... Not a bad end-of-the-stick you'll have there ...

And, oh so such an appropriate way to celebrate the 4th of July.

Update

A Declaration The President Ignores

Update II

Bush and Cheney walk, too; Even as the president confesses that Scooter Libby engaged in a cover-up -- after all, that was the verdict -- he completes the ultimate obstruction of justice in the Plame affair.

Update III

David Halberstam: The History Boys

In the twilight of his presidency, George W. Bush and his inner circle have been feeding the press with historical parallels: he is Harry Truman - unpopular, besieged, yet ultimately to be vindicated - while Iraq under Saddam was Europe held by Hitler. To a serious student of the past, that's preposterous. Writing just before his untimely death, David Halberstam asserts that Bush's "history," like his war, is based on wishful thinking, arrogance, and a total disdain for the facts.

Developing Story! White House Giving World Bank, Wolfowitz Green Light To Blame McNulty

New Strategy Of Leveraging Scandals; Cheney Says Embattled Hero "Definitely In Final Throes" At World Bank

In a stunning reversal, where, up to now, the White House has offered consistent, but hands-off, support, sources have told The Garlic that, after a late night meeting last evening, the World Bank, and its' embattled President Paul Wolfowitz have "top level approval" to spin the blame of their scandal on former Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty.

This could signal, say White House watchers, a new strategy by the Bush Grindhouse, heard in whispers on the cocktail circuit recently, to begin leveraging the multitude of scandals they find themselves under, ostensibly, to keep Congressional investigators, and the media, off-balance.

"The boys in the West Wing are working overtime," said Dix Whitcomb, editor of the newsletter 'Our Laws Are Different', "to keep any hint of scandal away from The Commander Guy."

It's not clear, just yet, if "top level approval" means that President Bush has authorized Wolfowitz, and the World Bank, to move forward with blaming McNulty.

It also remains a question if this is a new "blame" strategy, or if the Bush Grindhouse is applying its' "Hello, We Must Be Going" policy to a new problem.

Pieces begin falling in place on Tuesday, when Crony General Alberto Gonzales emphatically laid blame for the U.S. Attorney Firing Scandal at the feet of his former #2 man at the Justice Department, McNulty, with extremely little blowback.

However, Gonzales' attempted deflection got washed over by the news of another former Deputy Attorney General, James Comey - serving under Attorney General John Ashcroft - and his testimony before Congress that Gonzales, along with former Chief of Staff Andy Card, attempted to get a ailing and hospitalized Ashcroft to sign off on the Bush Grindhouse's illegal wiretapping.

This didn't go unnoticed by the White House, and soon, according to sources, the plan to begin blaming McNulty, and others, were being drawn up.

Pinning the blame on McNulty for Wolfowitz's lack of ethics was actually the second option, according to a party close to the West Wing.

"The first choice was retired Lt. Gen. Philip Kensinger, from the Pat Tillman cover-up, but Kensinger balked at it ... I don't think he really understood what the White House was trying to do, not grasping the concept of crossing these scandals, but he knew enough to say no ..."

Other names that were drawn up for possible scapegoat usage for the World Bank and Wolfowtiz included former Vice President Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, the convicted "King of K Street", lobbyist Jack Abramoff, former FEMA Director Michael Brown, former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nation, John Bolton and even former Bush Domestic Policy Advisor Claude Allen, who resigned from the administration after being charged with shoplifting.

Bolton, our sources told us, exploded in anger with the notion of taking blame for "that candy-ass wus".

Vice President Cheney deflected any comment on the new "blame strategy", only saying that "it appears one of the heroes of the Iraq war is in his final throes."

With no movement today, either by the World Bank, or by Wolfowitz, who is asking for $375,000 to leave his post, it is not known if pinning the scandal on McNulty was implemented or not.

"This is a very fluid situation," offered David Aaronson, editor of 'What Color Is My Coat Today?', the Capital Hill Newsletter that tracks politicians who turn on their own party.

"With the way things are lining up against the Crony General," continued Aaronson, "he could end with the entire mess pinned on him."

Bonus Links

Barry Crimmins: Wolfy At The Door

Sidney Blumenthal: All hail the king

Juan Cole: Paul Wolfowitz's fatal weakness

Yes, Wolfie, People Will Be Talking, For Years, About You ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

The World Bank President, and former architect of the Iraq Invasion and Occupation fiasco, Paul Wolfowitz may be feeling a bit boxed in, as he waits for a scapegoat, and a bag big enough to haul off $375,000

Developing Story! Bush Said Ready To Dump Wolfowitz and Name Blair New World Bank Chief

Sources Say Bush Not Ready To Abandon Rewarding Iraq War Supporters; Cheney Furious, Was Lobbying For Libby Posting

In what would be a stunning move, and very much out-of-character, sources are telling The Garlic that President Bush is getting ready to jettison the beleaguered former staffer, and World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz and name as his replacement the outgoing British Prime Minister Tony Blair.

Plans moved swiftly once Mr. Blair announced yesterday his resignation as Prime Minister and the quick exit date of June 27th.

The White House, desperate to get the Iraq War Funding bill, the growing U.S. Attorney Scandal, with news surfacing that the administration has withheld emails that show Karl Rove's involvement,, as well as the rerun of testimony by his Attorney General, off the headlines.

And, to end the waiting game and resolve the lagging World Bank Scandal, that has the former Assistant Secretary of Defense, Wolfowitz, being found to have violated rules and ethics in giving his girlfriend, Shaha Riza, a cushy job and outstanding pay raise.

Wolfowitz, one of the architects of the invasion and occupation of Iraq, has faced a mountain of pressure to resign, yet The Uniter/The Decider/The Commander Guy has, up until now, staunchly defended Wolfowitz, giving no indication that he would be fired or asked to leave the post.

Wolfowitz is said to be stunned, notified earlier evening of the move, having expected the continued full backing from White House.

Speaking on deep background, a White House staffer, who was in the meeting on naming Blair to the World Bank, indicated that "All he {Wolfowitz] had to do is look at Scooter Libby ... These guys expect, when it is in their interests, for you to fall on the sword."

This wouldn't be the first time that President Bush and Prime Minister Blair held private, secret conversations.

Bush and Blair discussed the invasion of Iraq, and selling the war, before the launch, with Blair promising support "with or without U.N. backing".

With former CIA Director George Tenet out on the circuit, promoting his new book, the White House was uncomfortable offering the Presidential Medal of Freedom to the British Prime Minister, after the backlash of negative press in awarding it to Tenet.

And President Bush is said to be adamant of not wavering of his policy, of rewarding backers of his plans to take over Iraq with awards and/or elevated positions in, or out, of government.

"He can," offered the White House staffer, in naming Blair to replace Wolfowitz, "keep the continuity of having a pro-Iraq agenda inside the World Bank"

Vice President Dick Cheney is said to be furious, as he has been, behind the scenes, lobbying the President to name his now-convicted former Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby to the post. Some say this was Cheney, playing both sides, and ready to trade the President on withdrawing Libby's name in exchange for a Presidential Pardon.

"It's not exactly Tinker, To Evers, To Chance," offered Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century, "but Bush, To Wolfowitz, to Blair is, pretty much, the political equivalent. They all can play the game superbly."

"Only," added Martins, "there's, likely, double-crosses in play here, not double-plays."

Bonus Links

Tony Blair's Legacy: George Bush's Iraq Trump Card

From Savior To Bush's Prison Bitch: The Downfall Of Tony Blair

Blair and Cheney Sing A Duet: 'Blair, It's Not So Bad Out There'

Dept. of Sweetheart Deals: Does He Hear the World's Poor? Don't Bank on It.


Soon-To-Be Former British Prime Minister Tony Blair will be playing a different tune, with President Bush getting ready to name him to replace Paul Wolfowitz as head of the World Bank

Top Ten Cloves: Potential Problems At White House Dinner Tonight For Queen Elizabeth II

News Item: Queen Elizabeth II Visits White House

10. President brings in Rich Little, unannounced, who does ten-minutes of bad Queen of England jokes and imitations

9. Queen badgers President all evening, to pardon Paris Hilton

8. Too many of the guests are on their Blackberrys, placing their bets on when Wolfowitz resigns

7. Queen in a foul mood, still miffed at getting blown off by Helen Mirren

6. Stephen Hadley goes around all night badgering the Queen, asking if she has anyone she can recommend for War Czar job

5. Prince Philip still hung over from Kentucky Derby parties

4. Queen insist on no photos of her and the President together; Doesn't normally have dinner with world leaders who are below 30% in public approval polls

3. Lynne Cheney gives the Queen some advice, in case he interviews her, on how to deal with CNN's Wolf Blitzer

2. Receiving line gets bogged down; Queen very nervous when approaching the President, not knowing how to address him- As Uniter, The Decider, or The Commander Guy

1. Queen shows up, toting an autographed copy of George Tenet's book


Wonder if the Queen is getting in on the action and placing a bet on when Paul Wolfowitz will resign?

Breaking News! President To Reject Bill Under "Veto Accomplished" Banner

White House, To Counter Dems, Planning Own Elaborate Signing Ceremony

VP Office May Issue Update "Last Throes" Declaration; Military Bands and Wounded Vets Expected To Attend

Looking to gain the upper hand in upcoming talks, the White House hastily announced plans to push back against the Democrat Majority with their own elaborate signing ceremony, that will see President Bush reject the Iraq War Spending Bill, as promised, penning his name under a large "Veto Accomplished" banner.

"It's not quite to the level of our past Bushapaloozas," an excited Dan Bartlett, White House Communications Director, exclaimed, "but it will be significant."

Plans for the Veto Signing include having military bands pounding out a medley of patriotic music, to an audience of wounded veterans bused over from the Walter Reed Medical Center out in the Rose Garden, with the President, surrounded by the Republican leadership, signing the veto under the "Veto Accomplished" banner.

"The President want to let these heroes know," offered Bartlett, wiping a tear from his eye, "that, even if the Democrats in Congress don't support the troops, the President does."

Bartlett indicated that it has not been decided if the President will be attired in his usual business suit, or if he will don the flighsuit for the signing. Sources have told The Garlic that there was a discussion of having the President, in flighsuit, parachute into the Rose Garden for the signing ceremony.

The thrown-together ceremony is a direct response, and raising of the stakes, to the Democrats, who staged their own signing statement in preparing the bill to be sent over to the President.

Privately, the White House was bristling, with the Democrats intentionally sending over the bill on the 4th Anniversary of President Bush's infamous "Mission Accomplished" debacle.

"We want to show them," huffed Bartlett, "that two can play this game ...We're no strangers to banners and we have the bigger bully pulpit in which to hang it"

Vice President Dick Cheney is expected to be at the veto signing ceremony and may, The Garlic has been told, offer an update of his "Last Throes" declaration. No word from the White House, or the Vice President's office on who is now in their last throes.

"It wouldn't surprise me," offered Hugh P. Varicator, a consultant with the conservative hawkish think tank, “Cry Wolf”, that is said to be closely affiliated with The Project for the New American Century (PNAC), and, some say, may be an adjunct to the White House Iraq Group, or WHIG, "that Cheney tweaks'em, and names Reid and Pelosi. He's been laying it on thick the last few weeks."

Bartlett wouldn't say what the White House strategy is beyond the veto signing ceremony.

When questioned by reporters, Bartlett, while not offering any information, did not rule out new terror alerts, announcements of the terror plots foiled and the arrest of Al-Qaeda members, or the further good news progress reports on the Surge Policy while downplaying the increase in deaths of U.S. soldiers and Iraqi citizens.

"Nothing is off the table," declared Bartlett.

Bonus Links

Perino: If Americans Don't Agree With Bush, They're Showing Bad Character

Four Years After 'Mission Accomplished'

‘Mission Accomplished’ By The Numbers















No hum-drum signing today for the Chief Decider ... Military bands, wounded vets, all under a "Veto Accomplished" banner

Top Ten Cloves: Lengths White House Staff Will Go Today To Avoid Reminding President Of "Mission Accomplished"

News Item: Mission Accomplished?

10. Call MSNBC and see if there's some new, Anna Nicole Smith story they can break

9. Checking Congress rules to see if entire Democratic Caucus can be sent ouf of the country on a junket

8. Vacation Day! - Send'em down to Crawford for 24-48-hours

7. All U.S. aircraft carriers ordered out-to-sea, with strict orders to stay out of the news

6. Get the First Lady to bite-the-bullet and, even though she may get discouraged, make President sit and watch television with her

5. Lobbying Ann Coulter to call one of the other Democratic Presidential candidates a faggot

4. All Military pilots today will wear business suits, not flightsuits

3. If necessary, Vice President Dick Cheney will do live, on-air telephone call to his friend, Scooter Libby, who he hasn't spoken with since Libby's conviction

2. Have Crony General Gonzales - or one of his underlings - fire another eight U.S. Attorneys

1. Hope someone on the staff gets outted in DC Madam Scandal

Bonus Links

Bush Remarks on "Mission Accomplished" Banner Embarrass White House

White House pressed on 'mission accomplished' sign; Navy suggested it, White House made it, both sides say

White House Caught Doctoring "Mission Accomplished" Video

Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

Well, if you’re on the Bush Team, the bright side of this is that it's gotten the Walter Reed Scandal off the front pages.

On the downside, for all of us, we peel off another layer of the corruption running rampant with Bush & Co., which, if you haven't been listening carefully, is not a scandal at all, but rather "at the pleasure of the President". If you're one of those eight U.S. Attorneys fired, it surely hasn't been a pleasure for them.

So, we now elevate Attorney General Alberto Gonzales to the status of some of his colleagues, and turn to Cole Porter to provide the AG with his own, new theme song


Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

When the only sound from those fired attorneys
is the heavy mumbles of the Democrat lackeys
that blathers on non-stop
I open shop

This AG so long has been gazing down
on the warward ways of this wayward town
her smile becomes a smirk, I go to work

Justice for sale
appetizing young Justice for sale
Justice thats fresh and still unspoiled
Justice thats only slightly soiled
Justice for sale

who will buy
who would like to sample my supply
who's prepared to pay the price
While I turn a blind eye
Justice for sale

let the press pipe of Justice
in their childish ways
I know every type of Justice
better far than they
if you want the thrill of Justice
I've been through the mill of Justice
old Justice
new Justice
every Justice but true Justice

Justice for sale
appetizing young Justice for sale
if you want to buy my wares
follow me to the White House stairs
Justice for sale


Links

Listen To A Clip of Elaine Delmar Singing "Love For Sale"

Cole Porter

Love for Sale (Cole Porter song)

Overblown Personnel Matters

Royal Flush: The purge of U.S. attorneys (partially) explained.


Other Bush Administration Garlic Songs

New Bush Theme Song - Baghdad, With The Surge On Tap

Blair and Cheney Sing A Duet: 'Blair, It's Not So Bad Out There'

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Our Girl Condi Gets A Theme Song - Neocons and Lovers

Whatever you say Boss!

This Just In! White House Applying Katrina Strategy To Med Center Neglect

To Gauge Neglect, Problems, President Set To Fly Over Walter Reed, Bldg. 18 Today

Bush Promising Action, "To Press Face Against Window"; Recommends DOD Follow Katrina Strategy

Facing yet more criticism over the treatment of wounded U.S. soldiers, the White House announced today that President Bush will fly over Walter Reed Medical Center, and its' Building 18 that is at the center of the controversy, in Air Force One to gauge for himself the neglect and problems.

With fresh headlines today today that top officials at Walter Reed, as well as the Army's surgeon general, members of the Congress and officials at the Pentagon knew of the problems for nearly three-years, President Bush is swinging back into his "Decider" role and taking action.

"The President," offered White House Spokesperson Tony Snow, "is jumping into his Hurricane Katrina strategy and will tackle this issue head-on. He's taking action and said he plans on "keeping his face firmly pressed against the window" as he flies over the grounds."

Snow also indicated that Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, in a meeting with the President this morning, "was strongly advised" to adopt the President's Hurricane Katrina plans in fixing the Walter Reed problem.

"The President," Snow continued, "wants to promise the soldiers, and the others at Walter Reed everything he promised New Orleans, for that city to get back on its' feet. He doesn't want to hold back on anything. He's ready to pledge, and pledge, action all day long."

Snow revealed, as evidence of the President's commitment to promise action, that "As soon as we heard about it, the President turned to me and said "Find out what the problem is and fix it."

Army Does "My Sister, My Daughter" Over Neglect Charges

Building 18 is a former hotel, across the street from the main Walter Reed grounds, that Dana Priest of the Washington Post exposed over two-weeks ago, as being in a decaying state, with mold, rotting walls and ceilings and mice, rat and insect infestations.

Initially, the Army was critical of the Washington Post for exposing the problems.

Lt. Gen. Kevin C. Kiley, chief of the Army Medical Command said that "I'm not sure it was an accurate representation ... It was a one-sided representation."

Within a few days of the article, and after a quick paint job, Kiley led a group of reporters around Building 18, boasting "I do not consider Building 18 to be substandard."

"We needed to do a better job on some of those rooms, and those of you that got in today saw that we frankly have fixed all of those problems. They weren't serious, and there weren't a lot of them."

That was quickly rebutted by Gen. Richard A. Cody, the Army vice chief of staff, who said "We own that building, and we're going to take charge of it. The senior Army leadership takes full responsibility for the lack of quality of life at Building 18, and we're going to fix it."

A new controversy has been added to the problem, as Army Times is reporting, that soldiers who talked to the Washington Post and other media about the conditions at Building 18 have been the subject of punishment, in the form of 6:00 AM wake-up calls, 7:00AM inspections and new orders not to talk to the media.

Cheney Advocates Stiff Push Back Against Critics

Some speculate that such orders may have been issued by Vice President Dick Cheney, who was able to arrive back in Washington, from his trip to Pakistan and Afghanistan, without being followed home by terrorists.

Cheney, and/or a "senior government official" is said to be "extremely displeased" with the attention given to the problems at Walter Reed.

Cheney was overheard speaking on the telephone, to an unknown party, complaining about the issue.

"If we give aid and comfort to these critics of Walter Reed, and Building 18, it would validate the al Qaeda strategy."

Snow would neither confirm or deny reports the Cheney is battling with White House staff, advocating that that President Bush order in the flood lights and give a night time speech in front of Building 18, to bolster the Hurricane Katrina strategy as the right solution for the problems and push back at the critics.

"This isn't," offered Snow, "a bang-my-head-on-the-podium issue - yet."











The White House is banking on a photo opportunity like this, when President Bush flew over Hurricane Katrina-ravaged New Orleans, to stem the criticism over Building 18 of the Walter Reed Medical Center. The President will be boarding Air Force One this afternoon, to cruise over site in a display of his leadership in solving the problem

Breaking News! Cheney Bound By Terror Policy, Told To Not Come Home!

After Bomb Attempt, White House Tells Cheney To "Stay Away"

Belief "They Will Follow The Vice President Home"; Cheney To Get New Secret Bunker "Somewhere In Iraq"

A crises has enveloped the White House today, testing their mettle and "stick-to-itness", after a suicide bomber struck the Afghanistan compound Vice President Dick Cheney was visiting earlier this morning.

Following a flurry of meetings in the Oval Office, at a hastily called news conference, White House Spokesperson Tony Snow delivered the news that President Bush has ordered his Vice President to "stay away from Washington"

"We don't want him coming to the White House," a somber Snow continued. "As we know, the terrorists are likely to want to strike again, and may follow the Vice President home."

The attack, at the main gate of the Bagram Airfield in Afghanistan, killed 23 and wounded, at least 20 others.

"President Bush is convinced," offered a West Wing source that attended one of the meetings, "that Cheney will be followed back to Washington."

"He [the President] kept pointing to some kind of report on his desk, and saying over, and over, "If we leave, they will follow us", over and over," said the source.

"It was like a mantra."

President Bush, Cheney, and Republican Congressional leaders have repeatedly predicted that terrorists are poised to follow the U.S. Troops home, and wage battles in the streets of America.

Earlier this month, House Republican leader, Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) flatly offered “If we leave, they will follow us home. It’s that simple.”

"With such a high profile targert as the Vice President," Snow offered in his briefing, "we're very certain he would be followed back to the White House. After an analysis, the President decided - yes, he decided - that it just was too big a chance to take."

News of Cheney being ordered to stay away from Washington sent the stock market spiraling downward, losing over 500-points, before a minor comeback.

Cheney To Get Second Secret Bunker

Later, at a briefing in the Vice President's office, Cheney spokeswoman Lea Anne McBride downplayed having a "Vice President in exile" and indicated measures were being taken to keep Cheney in the daily decision process of the the government.

McBride offered, that within 90-minutes of the attack aimed at Cheney, the Army Corps of Engineers began, to replicate Vice President Cheney's Secret Bunker "somewhere in Iraq", though sources have told The Garlic that it will be within the secure walls of the Green Zone in Baghdad.

Should it be necessary, in his role as President of the Senate, Cheney will be allowed to cast the tie-breaking vote via video feed from his New Secret Bunker, already dubbed "Come And Get Me East" by the Secret Service.

Sources have told The Garlic that Vice President Chief of Staff David Addington is composing a new Signing Statement for President Bush to allow such a move, and that it will extend to Cheney's U.S.-based Secret Bunker, should he be able to get back into the country without being followed.

It's not clear if the White House is putting its' muscle behind the belief that the terrorists will follow the Vice President home, or if the President, and Cheney, is attempting to raise the ante in their threats against Iran.

Coincidently, Cheney broke from the Administration late last year, to form his own Iran Study Group.

Rice Gives Okay To Move

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice defended the move to keep Cheney away.

"It's not like we have some binding, historic document, that delineates the offices of government that we can refer to and deal with this situation, and we have to go out and create one," said the husband-less diplomat.

Signs that Cheney could be staying in his New Secret Bunker for some time were evidenced at Andrews Airforce Base, where 18-wheel trailer trucks, filled with Caffeine-Free Diet Sprite, were seen being loaded into giant cargo planes headed for Iraq.
















The Secret Service has already dubbed Cheney's New Secret Bunker in Iraq "Come And Get Me East"