Top Ten Cloves: Possible Reasons Obama and Sarkozy Didn't Invite Queen Elizabeth To D-Day Ceremony

News Item: Left Out of D-Day Events, Queen Elizabeth Is Fuming

10. If she comes, that means all those crazy, drunken, British soccer fans would probably show up, as well

9. Worried that the Queen would host a dinner, and, ...Well ... The English food thing...

8. Sarkozy didn't want to hear another lecture about his wife

7. If she came, they would both be dragged back to the Queen's hotel, to play a game of cricket on her Golden Wii

6. They've already heard all her Dunkirk stories, and couldn't bear another "Spirit of Dunkirk" speech

5. Afraid the Queen will be expecting another gift- a bevy of iPhone Add-ons

4. They've already heard all her Winston Churchill stories

3. Rumors were Susan Boyle was going to come along, and sing 'La Marseillaise'

2. If the Queen brings her son, Prince Charles, then there's a major "ear" thing to deal with

1. Obama and Sarkozy wouldn't agree with Buckingham Palace, and promise not to tease Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh with the "Nudge, Nudge, Wink Wink" routine

The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged.

"Oh, I know that very much," Laura Bush responded. "And believe me, no one suffers more than their president and I do when we watch this, and certainly the commander in chief, who has asked our military to go into harm's way."

Thank God the Queen of England blew into town, heh, Laura?

So much to do, so many distractions.

The guest list, the protocols, the food and, of course, getting The Uniter/The Decider/The Commander Guy into his white tie and tails.

Little chance of even catching a glimpse of a television screen, and getting washed over with all that discouragement.

Now, we know you're busy, but we do have a bone to pick with you.

A little over a week ago, we gave you a task. You were supposed to become the First Chief Decideress Veto Killer. You were supposed to work on that husband of yours, and not let go until he agreed to sign the Iraq War Spending Bill, so we - that is the American people - could start to see our brave soldiers begin making their way home.

Doesn't look like you made much of an effort there, girl. The Uniter/The Decider/The Commander Guy had his Mission Accomplished II, and signed, with gusto, the veto.

Look, you're part of the team there in the Grindhouse. And you're educated, a former liberian, been around a block, or two in the world of politics. Surely, you must be able to see that the ship is sinking. Even The Uniter/The Decider/The Commander Guy's wing men, the Republican Caucus, is beginning to look for the life rafts. Their not going to get their feet wet.

And you have the former CIA Director out there, running around the country, popping up on television (I know, that probably discourages you as well), selling his book, and making his money, politely slamming the The Uniter/The Decider/The Commander Guy.

And the polls, Laura.

28%

He's down there with Carter, at his worst moments, and, likely, he'll be chasing Hoover next.

Think about that Laura. You don't want to exit the Grindhouse in January 2009, with Herbert Hoover rated as a better President that your The Uniter/The Decider/The Commander Guy, do you?

There's still time to salvage this.

Perhaps, you can pull (well, you're not supposed to touch the Queen, so take that figuratively) the Queen aside and lay out the
First Chief Decideress Veto Killer plan with her. She's been through a few of these things during her reign, so, likely, she can offer a tip or two to help you out.

And you should have the Professor back pretty soon.

Wolfie will likely have some time on his hands and he might, just might, be looking to do something good of a change.

Hang in there Laura, a bright, beaming, discouragement-free television screen is just around the corner.

Todays Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

8 U.S. Troops Killed In Iraq Bomb Attacks

Links

Laura Bush: Much Of Iraq Is ‘Stable,’ There’s Just ‘One Bombing A Day That Discourages Everybody’

Brookings Institute Iraq Index

CNN Larry King - Interview With Laura Bush/"The Lost Tomb of Jesus"

Laura Bush: My husband never misled about Iraq

Petraeus Ex Machina

New Feature - The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

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Saturday, April 07, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Wednesday, April 18, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Thursday, April 26, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Top Ten Cloves: Potential Problems At White House Dinner Tonight For Queen Elizabeth II

News Item: Queen Elizabeth II Visits White House

10. President brings in Rich Little, unannounced, who does ten-minutes of bad Queen of England jokes and imitations

9. Queen badgers President all evening, to pardon Paris Hilton

8. Too many of the guests are on their Blackberrys, placing their bets on when Wolfowitz resigns

7. Queen in a foul mood, still miffed at getting blown off by Helen Mirren

6. Stephen Hadley goes around all night badgering the Queen, asking if she has anyone she can recommend for War Czar job

5. Prince Philip still hung over from Kentucky Derby parties

4. Queen insist on no photos of her and the President together; Doesn't normally have dinner with world leaders who are below 30% in public approval polls

3. Lynne Cheney gives the Queen some advice, in case he interviews her, on how to deal with CNN's Wolf Blitzer

2. Receiving line gets bogged down; Queen very nervous when approaching the President, not knowing how to address him- As Uniter, The Decider, or The Commander Guy

1. Queen shows up, toting an autographed copy of George Tenet's book


Wonder if the Queen is getting in on the action and placing a bet on when Paul Wolfowitz will resign?