Here's A Guy Destined To Win All The Toasters, Shavers and Kewpie Dolls

He's no "Opie and the Carnival" here.



Hotshot sniper in one-and-a-half mile double kill

A BRITISH Army sniper has set a new sharpshooting distance record by killing two Taliban machinegunners in Afghanistan from more than 1 miles away.

Craig Harrison, a member of the Household Cavalry, killed the insurgents with consecutive shots — even though they were 3,000ft beyond the most effective range of his rifle.

“The first round hit a machinegunner in the stomach and killed him outright,” said Harrison, a Corporal of Horse. “He went straight down and didn’t move.

“The second insurgent grabbed the weapon and turned as my second shot hit him in the side. He went down, too. They were both dead.”

The shooting — which took place while Harrison’s colleagues came under attack — was at such extreme range that the 8.59mm bullets took almost three seconds to reach their target after leaving the barrel of the rifle at almost three times the speed of sound.

The distance to Harrison’s two targets was measured by a GPS system at 8,120ft, or 1.54 miles. The previous record for a sniper kill is 7,972ft, set by a Canadian soldier who shot dead an Al-Qaeda gunman in March 2002.

Holy Bullseye Batman!

Give this man a Kewpie Doll!




Bonus Bonus

You can go HERE, and watch the full episode of "Opie and the Carnival"

Straighten Up and Fly Right

Jeez, it's not like flying on the holidays sucks big time, all by itself.

Terror Attempt Seen as Man Tries to Ignite Device on Jet



This is going to get ugly, and fast.

I am surprised, that Liz and Dick Cheney weren't on the tube last night (Faux News, of course), perhaps still donning Christmas stocking caps, wagging fingers, saying "I told you so", over-and-over, as well as planting conspiracy seeds that President Obama, himself, planted a bomb on the plane ... Or that he was rushing to Detroit, to embrace the wanna-be terrorist, and give him a Cabinet post.

It shouldn't take too long, today, for the Flying Monkeys of the Right Wing Freak Show, to start connecting-the-dots, between loser terrorist in Detroit, and the woman who attacked the Pope (only knocking him down, damn it) and how that means we're all being fucked by Obama, and that the new Healthcare Reform Bill will be extended to cover terrorists (and, there'll be a new "Birth Certificate" controversy tucked in there, somewhere, since the hapless terrorist was from Nigeria, which is close to Kenya, or, you know, in Africa, thereby making it a slamdunk).

Josh Marshall, at TPM, shows a hint of that, reporting that "9:07 PM: In advance of being briefed, Rep. Hoekstra (R-MI) uses the Detroit incident to attack President Obama and tie it to the Fort Hood shooting."

Hoekstra, if you recall, teamed up with Rick "Man Fucks Dog" Santorum a few years back and, irrefutably, discovered the Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq.

Unlike the Congressman, Steve Benen was a bit more pragmatic;

We'll no doubt have a better sense of what transpired in the coming days, but at this point, plenty of key questions have gone unanswered. How did Abdulmutallab, whose name appears to be included in the government's records of terrorism suspects, get his materials on board? How dangerous were the materials? What, if any, ties did he have to larger terrorist networks?

And, Jeff Fecke, on Alas, A Blog, sets what should be the tone;

No, this attack is not reason to panic. It’s reason to laugh long and hard at those who want to scare us, reason to invoke bad double entendres about this wannabe’s crotch fire, like the one in this sentence. And most of all, it’s reason to cheer the demise of al Qaeda, a truly terrible organization that now has been reduced to setting small fires. I just hope no terrorist decides to egg my house. That could be horrible.

Take it away, Nat;

Nat King Cole - Straighten Up and Fly Right




Bonus Links

Ben Frumin: White House Believes NW Incident An Attempted Act Of Terrorism

Sarah Wheaton: From a ‘Pop’ to a Headlock, Passengers Recall Flight 253

Faiz Shakir: Hoekstra Quickly Politicizes Attempted Terrorist Attack, Suggests Obama’s Clueless On National Security

Larisa Alexandrovna: The no-fly-list fail...

Today's Ignorant Dolt - Pat Robertson

In some way, we have to thank the certifiable loony tune head of the 700 Club.



With the week we've had, struggling to get time to read, let alone post, searching everywhere for some mojo, he hands us, virtually gift-wrapped, his (official, see the Bonus Links) induction into The Garlic roster of Ignorant Dolts.

Now, with the Right Wing Freak Show all but calling for "open season" on Muslim hunting, following the Fort Hood shooting, Mr. 700 Club polished up his orange vest and Elmer Fudd cap;

Pat Robertson on Ft. Hood: Islam is ‘not a religion’ and Muslims should be treated like ‘some fascist group.’

On his 700 Club TV show yesterday, Pat Robertson claimed that Islam is “not a religion,” but “a violent political system bent on the overthrow of the governments of the world and world domination”:

ROBERTSON: That is the ultimate aim. And they talk about infidels and all this, but the truth is that’s what the game is. So you are dealing with not a religion. You’re dealing with a political system. And I think we should treat it as such and treat its adherences as such as we would members of the Communist Party or members of some fascist group. Well, it’s a tragedy. Our hearts go out to the families who suffered. But those in the Army should be held on account for the fact they let this man loose.

Hmmm ...

I wonder if Robertson would include the "political system" in this country, that shoots doctors who perform abortions?

Should we treat them with "adherences" as members of Communist or fascist groups?

MediaMatters has the video that welcomes the 700 Club chieftain onto the roster of Ignorant Dolts.

Eli, over on Firedoglake, helps us on on the PR front, hailing Robertson as a "xenophobic ignoramus."

While Melissa, over on Shakesville thinks Robertson may be on to something;

Being an atheist, I'm more than happy to treat every religion as its own political ideology. Let's start with charging a religious organization the same taxes that, say, a feminist blog gets charged for doing business.

Somehow, I'm guessing P-Rob won't be on board with that idea, once it includes him.

P-Rob (we like that), drop by anytime to pick up your inglorious Ignorant Dolt Crown and Sceptre

Bonus Links

(Editor Note: As we referenced above, this will be Robertson's "official" Ignorant Dolt induction, for, as you will see below, he's had a hall pass, and visa, that has been continually renewed.)

Robertson To Ballmer: "I've Got Your Back" ...Looking to Strike Deal With Microsoft Chief For Help With Offing Chavez

White House Meets With Robertson; Plan Video Blitz ...Controversial Minister To Produce Al Qaeda-type Videos, Promising Death and Destruction, To Counter Bin Laden's

Robertson May Have, Inadvertently, Caused Hajj Stampede Deaths; Was Working On New Material For Bush Video Blitz, Testing New Curses and Condemnations

Breaking News! Robertson Held For Questioning In Falwell Death ...Threats Against Chavez, Sharon Make 700 Club Founder 'Person of Interest'

Retro Garlic: We Called It, On The Terrorist-Killing Bears!

Once again, almost unfathomably, life has imitated The Garlic

We've had a handful of these instances, and on Tuesday, yet another.

Bear kills militants in Kashmir

A bear killed two militants after discovering them in its den in Indian-administered Kashmir, police say.

Two other militants escaped, one of them badly wounded, after the attack in Kulgam district, south of Srinagar.

The militants had assault rifles but were taken by surprise - police found the remains of pudding they had made to eat when the bear attacked.

It is thought to be the first such incident since Muslim separatists took up arms against Indian rule in 1989.

"Police found the remains of pudding ..."

I guess, despite all those terrorist training films, of jumping jacks and jungle gyms, the boys never gathered around the campfire, to read "Goldilocks and the Three Bears".

They would have know, the bears would be pissed off to find "pudding", instead of porridge.

Michael Stickings, over on The Reaction noted;

Oops. Not a smart move. How can these militants be expected to take over Kashmir if they can't even run their own cave without, you know, getting killed by a bear?

Don't they watch Animal Planet over there?



Anyway, here's the The Retro Part, from late 2006;

Developing Story - Polar Bears Added To Iraq Options ... Bush Administration Wavering On Polar Bears; Considering Employing In Iraq, War Against Terror ...Rove Claims He Also Has “The Science”, Says Bears “Will Do Fine In Desert Heat”

Well, He Isn't The Shakespeare Guy ... And She Ain't No History Girl ...

With the day I had, I needed some light, easy pickin's ...

Maybe he was just being "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" ...

Maybe she was being forgetful ...

I can't help but wonder if it is, when you're Constitution-stomping, pre-emptive-war-loving Neocon, is the air they breath different? Does their food contain nutrients and vitamins not available to regular folk? Is it in the water they drink? Or is it just part of the daily drone of living in the unreality world they inhabit?

The Commander/Decider Guy surely must be getting tired of tasting his own foot.

In an staged event to hawk his "No Child Left Behind", the Compassionate Conservative served up this;

"Childrens do learn," Bush tells school kids

And this comes on the heels of his United Nations speech, in which his speech - the marked-up, phonetic-enhanced version - was posted on the U.N. Website.

Too bad he didn't have that at his "No Child Left Behind" gig ...

But Wait, There's More!

Our shining, soon-to-be-seen-on-a-milk-carton, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice must be getting desperate for some attention.

It has been a bit rough for her lately, with the Pope blowing her off, and, yet again, another article questioning who's sleeping in her bed popped up.

But, considering she's a Stanford gal, pretty well-educated, been around the block, so-to-speak, did she really have to resort to the over-used talking points to make her point, pumping up a dead terrorist far beyond what he probably ever dreamed of, with this gem;

Rice Compares Zarqawi To Ulysses S. Grant And Robert E. Lee

Holy mashed metaphors Batman!

I think, before their next public appearances, both of them need to spend some extra time on The Google.

Bonus Dynamic Duo Links

Our Girl Condi Gets A Theme Song - Neocons and Lovers

New Garlic Song: Bush Could Write A Book

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Cully Stimson's Apology Over His Guantanamo/Lawyers Remarks

News Item: U.S. Official Apologizes for Guantanamo Remarks

10. Felt, with Rumsfeld, and his blunt way of speaking, gone, was his chance to step into the administration limelight

9. Only made apology because he feared Joint Chiefs of Staff were going to write another letter, protesting about him

8. Was looking to get "into the heads" of any Iranian terrorist that we might capture when we invade Iran, that they won't get good lawyers

7. Naked attempt of trying to brown-nose Vice President Dick Cheney

6. Filing protest with President Bush - How come he gets slammed for one comment, when Karl Rove can go around smearing anyone he wants

5. Thought saying lawyers shouldn't do do pro bono work for terrorism suspects might help ease the violence in Iraq

4. Early investigation points towards he was trying to shakedown the lawyers

3. Made comments under duress; Has been edgy over the news of Castro being close to death

2. Really meant to say he was calling for a "surge of lawyers" to hit Gitmo

1. Taking one for the team; Took it upon himself to deflect attention away from the President's speech last week

Monday 11 July 2005

London Bombings Force Blair To Name Own Axis of Evil

Bush Upset; May Sue In International Court To Force Name Change

A rift has developed between British Prime Minister Tony Blair and American President George Bush, following a heated meeting at the recent G8 Summit, in which, following the terrorist bombings in London, Blair advised Bush that he will soon announce his own 'Axis of Evil'.

Once spoken of being "staunch allies" of each other, Bush was said to be furious with Blair, according to sources at the summit.

Bush was overheard, shouting at Blair about copyright infringement and "messing up the whole plan".

It's not known when Blair will announce the British Axis of Evil, but it is rumored that France is on the list, for both historical and general reasons, as well as the recent insults offered by French President Jacques Chirac regarding British cuisine (see The Garlic, 7 July - London Wins Olympic Bid, But With A Catch )

When it became public, the White House snapped into action.

Chief Strategist Karl Rove immediately began researching members of parliament who had wives or husbands that may be undercover operatives of MI5, so he could leak that information to the British Press. Columnist Robert Novak volunteered to write the article for Rove, if necessary. Time Magazine also stepped in to say they stand ready to turn over any files and emails on the subject, if they write about it, should the case go to court.

Teams of White House lawyers began pouring through international law books on copyrights, malicious infringement of business and a host of other possible charges that can be pursued in court. One source indicated that, if they can't stop Blair from naming his own Axis of Evil list, they may be able to tie him up for years before he could implement and announce the list.

Senate Leader Bill Frist (R-TN), after spending the weekend viewing hours of videotape, including the DVD movies 'Chariot's of Fire' and 'Alfie' (the Michael Caine version), will present a resolution condemning Blair, and the British for "stealing United States military assets".

Blair, so far, has stood is ground, and with the full support of parliament. Blair's office released a new round of 'Downing Street Memos', showing there was some evidence the Bush Administration manipulated the data to come up with their version of an Axis of Evil list.

Sources close to Blair say that he hasn't ruled out placing the United States on the list, if President Bush doesn't tone down the rhetoric over it.

The White House released a statement over the weekend, that said, in part, changes to the Axis of Evil list would be forthcoming, and perhaps expanded.

"We've never been locked into just having three nations on the list", offered Scott McClellan, White House Spokesperson.

McClellan added, almost going out of his way to point out that the United States Axis of Evil list is the "official list".


IOC Dumps Baseball; Fewer HR's and Little Scandal Potential

New MLB Ban On Steroids Limits PR Effort of Games, IOC TV Time

Seeing that their television appearances may be limited in the 2012 Olympics Games, the International Olympic Committee, and the lack of homerun potential, the 2012 Games have dropped Baseball.

Members of the committee cited, with Major League Baseball's new crackdown on steroid use, there will likely be a decline in the number of homeruns hit, as is already occurring in MLB, and taking excitement out of a game most member nations already find lacking such.

Additionally, some members saw the lack of primetime television appearances. Without any steroid controversy, individual member and committee heads would see their media appearances, both for television and radio, decline

."We know from past experience", said one committee member, "that banning an athlete due to steroid use ups attendance at that event by more then 20%. We also get more television coverage due to the controversy, particularly if the athlete protests his-or-her innocence".

Officially, the IOC says the reason for dropping baseball and softball is part of an overall effort to downsize the Summer Olympics,
which has blossomed, from 4,100 athletes and 136 medal events in 1948 to more than 11,100 and 300 last summer. The IOC voted three years ago for a cap of 10,500 athletes and 301 events.

Baseball and softball were nearly cut-out from the Beijing Olympics' list (along with modern pentathlon in 2002) but IOC members felt, that with the games in China, there was enough potential controversy to keep them in. With China emerging in the world market, along a natural rivalry with Japan, a baseball-crazy nation, there'll be ample fireworks on-hand.

Major League Baseball was frantic upon receiving the news of being cut from the Olympics, fearing they will lose a key asset in their efforts to market baseball as a wholesome, family activity.

So desperate were they, according a source close to the Olympics, they offered an 11th-hour deal to guarantee Texas Ranger pitcher Kenny Rogers would be on the squad and he has agreed that he would abuse and rough up the international media.