Now That Would Have Been Some Marketing Meeting!

WOW!


If this marketing meeting had taken place, about the only thing that could rival it would be Lenny Bruce's "Religion Inc."


 


Seems the former Big Cheese of Al-Qaeda, Osama bin Laden, was fretting that his creation of terrorism and murder was losing its' marketing punch.


Osama wanted new name for al-Qaida to repair image

As Osama bin Laden watched his terrorist organization get picked apart, he lamented in his final writings that al-Qaida was suffering from a marketing problem. His group was killing too many Muslims and that was bad for business. The West was winning the public relations fight.


[snip]


The problem with the name al-Qaida, bin Laden wrote in a letter recovered from his compound in Pakistan, was that it lacked a religious element, something to convince Muslims worldwide that they are in a holy war with America.


Maybe something like Taifat al-Tawhed Wal-Jihad, meaning Monotheism and Jihad Group, would do the trick, he wrote. Or Jama'at I'Adat al-Khilafat al-Rashida, meaning Restoration of the Caliphate Group.


As bin Laden saw it, the problem was that the group's full name, al-Qaida al-Jihad, for The Base of Holy War, had become short-handed as simply al-Qaida. Lopping off the word "jihad," bin Laden wrote, allowed the West to "claim deceptively that they are not at war with Islam." Maybe it was time for al-Qaida to bring back its original name.

I don't know ...

Coca Cola didn't get very far with their "New Coke" efforts


Then again, how would you like to be the young ad exec handling the account?


But Wait! ... There's More!


OBL, also, was getting all Jack-Lemmon-Save-The-Tiger, bemoaning the younger generation;

In one letter sent to Zawahri within the past year or so, bin Laden said al-Qaida's image was suffering because of attacks that have killed Muslims, particularly in Iraq, officials said. In other journal entries and letters, they said, bin Laden wrote that he was frustrated that many of his trusted longtime comrades, whom he'd fought alongside in Afghanistan, had been killed or captured.


Using his courier system, bin Laden could still exercise some operational control over al-Qaida. But increasingly the men he was directing were younger and inexperienced. Frequently, the generals who had vouched for these young fighters were dead or in prison. And bin Laden, unable to leave his walled compound and with no phone or Internet access, was annoyed that he did not know so many people in his own organization.

Guess he didn't apply to be on 'Undercover Boss'.


This ranks up there, before we get too derisive, with our own government labeling the killing of innocent civilians as "collateral damage."


Cue up "Que Sera Sera" ...


 


Bonus Riffs


Spencer Ackerman: Contest: Pick al-Qaida’s New Name


Jeff Neumann: Osama Bin Laden Worried About Al Qaeda’s Image Problem


Blackwater Going All Prince On Us (But You Can Pronounce The Name)

A Little Something

West Side Story said it, suggested it, all with the aura of anticipation so thick, you could cut it;

West Side Story-Something's Coming



But wait!

It's here!

In today's NYT Op-Ed pages, from Rick Moranis!

Something Else

Go check it out ...

Or something ...

Paging Michael Douglas

I feel, sort of, cheated.

No Whammy Burgers.

We refer to, of course, yesterday's action of one, seriously deranged, likely-mentally-ill Joseph Andrew Stack, flying his airplane into the Austin, Texas building, that housed the local area Internal Revenue Services offices.

Subsequently, as Cable News went into DefCon 5, wall-to-wall coverage, a ranting manifesto was unearthed, with Stack writing that he was wronged, by just about everyone, except, possibly, SpongeBob SquarePants.

Yeah! ... Power to the people! ... Down with The Man!

Trouble is, for Stack, a serious lack of imagination.

We've seen this movie before, specifically, back in 1993, with 'Falling Down', starring Michael Douglas.

Douglas's character was an engineer, just like Stack, felt like he was getting screwed, just like Stack, and then snaps, just like Stack, except, this was in the day before flying airplanes into buildings was in vogue, so Douglas's character goes on a romping, engaging rampage through the city (Los Angeles), including, visiting, and shooting up, the above-referenced Whammy Burgers.



What did Stack give us?

A charred IRS office (if, indeed, he did hit their office, since other businesses also occupied the building), in the center of Nowheresville, Austin, Texas.



Not sure Douglas is gonna want to sign up for this sequel.

So, today, we had the usual follow-up, with the Flying Monkeys of the Right Wing Freak Show, throwing feces at anybody dare say he was one of them, or a Teabagger (with his flaming manifesto, this guy could have had a "E" Ticket to any one of about a dozen tinfoil hat entities), while others, including the Obama Administration downplayed the "terrorism" angle, leading David Neiwert, over on Crooks and Liars, to ask "Huh? Since when is attempting to blow up a federal building NOT an act of domestic terrorism?"

Now, this might have boiled over, and ruptured, with the heat of Three Mile Island, except, Mister-Flying-Into-Buildings-Manifesto, again, didn't plan this out all the way.

Tiger Woods held court this morning, causing Cable News to go to DefCon 6, and bring in every talking head following it, to parse every single word Mister Can't-Keep-His-Golf-Club-In-His-Bag had to say (and, for our money, Woods came off like the President of the National Honor Society, apologizing for getting caught drinking at the Home Coming Dance).

Tough going in the Lone Wolf Revolution biz.

Too Big For Its Dishdasha ... World's Tallest Target Opens Today

You gotta give these guys a tip-of-the-hat, for their cojones, in going through with this project.

I mean, after September 11th, the optimism of finding tenets to live, or work on, say, the 150th floor ...

In an area of the world were terrorist bombs are as ubiquitous as Mocha Grandes?

Breathtaking ...

World’s tallest tower opens today in Dubai

The height of the Burj Dubai remained a closely guarded secret on the eve of its opening. At a reported height of 2,684 feet, it long ago vanquished its nearest rival, the Taipei 101 in Taiwan. The building boasts the most stories and highest occupied floor of any building and ranks as the world’s tallest structure, beating out a television mast in North Dakota.

“We weren’t sure how high we could go,’’ said Bill Baker, the building’s structural engineer. “It was kind of an exploration. . . . A learning experience.’’ Baker, of the Chicago architecture firm Skidmore, Owings & Merrill, said early designs had the Burj edging out the previous record-holder, the Taipei 101, by about 33 feet. The Taiwan tower rises 1,667 feet.The Burj’s developer, Emaar Properties, kept pushing the design higher even after construction began, eventually putting it about 984 feet taller than its nearest competitor, Baker said. He was keeping quiet about the exact height.

And, you gotta love this guy;

However, after the economic downturn ripped through Dubai — sending property prices plunging 50% and forcing Sheikh Mohammed to go cap in hand to his wealthy neighbour, Abu Dhabi, for a $25 billion (£15 billion) bailout — critics are already dismissing the tower as a gaudy memorial to a lost decade of uncontrolled speculation. “It’s the last blast of the Noughties in a city that got too big for its dishdasha [robes],” said one local banker.

Ahh, but there's hope;

The prospect of a partly-empty skyscraper invariably opens the Burj Dubai to charges of overbuilding. Surprise: It's happened before. As the history of the Empire State Building reveals - when it opened in 1931, it had so few tenants that it was known as the "Empty State Building" - today's white elephant is often tomorrow's beloved landmark...

Hmmm ...

Didn't the Empire State Building have a plane fly into it, once?


Bonus Links

Burj Dubai Skyscraper Site

Wikipedia: Burj Dubai

That Didn't Take Long - Charles Krauthammer, Ignorant Dolt!

We didn't have to wait long, for some lughead of an idiot to jump up, New Year's party hat affixed, streamers dangling off his shoulders, jumping up and down, waving, dying to be the first Ignorant Dolt of the new year.

Just think of of a stork, carrying a little newborn baby, with the face of Charles Krauthammer, and a sash, reading "2010's First Ignorant Dolt".



Charles Krauthammer ... C'mon down!

I mean, jeez Charlie, before you wrote that column, did ya think to check, maybe Google? Did you call Mary Katherine Ham for pointers on how not-to-fact-check, and snag that Ignorant Dolt crown?

And just to make sure even the dimmest understand, Obama banishes the term "war on terror." It's over -- that is, if it ever existed.

Obama may have declared the war over. Unfortunately, al-Qaeda has not. Which gives new meaning to the term "asymmetric warfare."

As it turns out, Charlie, you have to be the "dimmest of the dimmest".

Here Charlie, click on this link to the Wonk Room, at Think Progress;

It is true that the Obama administration has dropped “war on terror,” a phrase that is so broad and ill-defined that even Donald Rumsfeld sought to abandon it. Instead of declaring war against a tactic, the President has actually sought to define the enemy – repeatedly saying that the US was specifically “at war” with Al Qaeda. In fact, just today Obama said in his weekly address:

our nation is at war against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred.

Moreover, Obama has consistently said this. In May, Obama stated in a major speech at the National Archives:

Now let me be clear: we are indeed at war with al Qaeda and its affiliates.

In his speech at West Point, Obama justified the Afghan troop increase to help bolster the war against Al Qaeda:

We must keep the pressure on al Qaeda, and to do that, we must increase the stability and capacity of our partners in the region…This is not just America’s war.

What is it with the PartyofNoicans, and the Flying Monkeys of the Right Wing Freak Show?

Right out of the gate, Rep. Pete "Mr. WMD Finder" Hoekstra was jumping all over it, and it's been a steady stream of "Hair On Fire" dolts, leading up to Krauthammer's unbelievable lunacy.

It's almost that they wouldn't be satisfied of anything short of Obama, winging his way to Detroit on Christmas day, standing on top of the plane that carried the Panty Terrorist Bomber, bullhorn in hand, bellowing out across the tarmac "Bring'em On!"

And, then, of course, follow that up with sending our military into a country that had nothing to do with the Panty Terrorist Bomber.

In case any of the other Flying Monkeys are reading this, and didn't get the memo, The Bush Grindhouse is out-of-business, and you can't keep making up your own bullshit and passing it off as fact.

So, Charlie Krauthammer, c'mon down, and pick up your Ignorant Dolt Crown and Sceptre.

And, carry on, with being the "dimmest of the dimmest" ...

We wouldn't recognize you otherwise.


Bonus Krauthammer Dolt Riffs

Steve Benen: OUR STUNTED DISCOURSE...

Bob Cesca: Krauthammer is an Idiot

Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting

Oh boy, leave it to Tweety.

H/T to John Cole, over on Balloon Juice, for the catch;

This Chris Matthews quote is a Palinesque work of art:

MATTHEWS: And I think we have got to get serious about catching terrorists, not just catching weapons. I‘m waiting for the terrorist who knows kung fu or something that gets on an airplane without a weapon. God knows what that is going to be like.

Hey, Gerald, happy new year, even under this circumstance.

WTF!

We go from a kid, putting a bomb in his underwear, to sketching out a new Jackie Chan movie?

Steve Benen was also scratching his head;

Also note the context: Matthews is urging us to "get serious" about counterterrorism, and in the next sentence, warning us of the potentially deadly consequences of terrorists who know "kung fu or something."

Oh man ...

Was Tweety hitting the punch a little early this evening?

But, on another note, Tweety's wing-in-mouth solved our New Year's Eve music choice.

Everybody, get up and shake it!

Carl Douglas - Kung fu fighting(original)




Bonus Tweety Riffs

MSNBC's Matthews Uninjured Pulling Head Out Of Judy Miller's Ass ...Hardball Host Fawns Over Former White House Stenographer; Stays Away From Tough Questions

Clooney: Wouldn’t Cast Matthews In A Daydream ...When Pressed, Matthews Admits Miffed Not Cast in Clooney Film ...“Forget This Zelig Mishmash, I Could Have Played McCarthy … And Played Him Damn Good”

Was Tweety Covering Morning Jokes' Back?

Today's Ignorant Dolt - Pat Robertson

In some way, we have to thank the certifiable loony tune head of the 700 Club.



With the week we've had, struggling to get time to read, let alone post, searching everywhere for some mojo, he hands us, virtually gift-wrapped, his (official, see the Bonus Links) induction into The Garlic roster of Ignorant Dolts.

Now, with the Right Wing Freak Show all but calling for "open season" on Muslim hunting, following the Fort Hood shooting, Mr. 700 Club polished up his orange vest and Elmer Fudd cap;

Pat Robertson on Ft. Hood: Islam is ‘not a religion’ and Muslims should be treated like ‘some fascist group.’

On his 700 Club TV show yesterday, Pat Robertson claimed that Islam is “not a religion,” but “a violent political system bent on the overthrow of the governments of the world and world domination”:

ROBERTSON: That is the ultimate aim. And they talk about infidels and all this, but the truth is that’s what the game is. So you are dealing with not a religion. You’re dealing with a political system. And I think we should treat it as such and treat its adherences as such as we would members of the Communist Party or members of some fascist group. Well, it’s a tragedy. Our hearts go out to the families who suffered. But those in the Army should be held on account for the fact they let this man loose.

Hmmm ...

I wonder if Robertson would include the "political system" in this country, that shoots doctors who perform abortions?

Should we treat them with "adherences" as members of Communist or fascist groups?

MediaMatters has the video that welcomes the 700 Club chieftain onto the roster of Ignorant Dolts.

Eli, over on Firedoglake, helps us on on the PR front, hailing Robertson as a "xenophobic ignoramus."

While Melissa, over on Shakesville thinks Robertson may be on to something;

Being an atheist, I'm more than happy to treat every religion as its own political ideology. Let's start with charging a religious organization the same taxes that, say, a feminist blog gets charged for doing business.

Somehow, I'm guessing P-Rob won't be on board with that idea, once it includes him.

P-Rob (we like that), drop by anytime to pick up your inglorious Ignorant Dolt Crown and Sceptre

Bonus Links

(Editor Note: As we referenced above, this will be Robertson's "official" Ignorant Dolt induction, for, as you will see below, he's had a hall pass, and visa, that has been continually renewed.)

Robertson To Ballmer: "I've Got Your Back" ...Looking to Strike Deal With Microsoft Chief For Help With Offing Chavez

White House Meets With Robertson; Plan Video Blitz ...Controversial Minister To Produce Al Qaeda-type Videos, Promising Death and Destruction, To Counter Bin Laden's

Robertson May Have, Inadvertently, Caused Hajj Stampede Deaths; Was Working On New Material For Bush Video Blitz, Testing New Curses and Condemnations

Breaking News! Robertson Held For Questioning In Falwell Death ...Threats Against Chavez, Sharon Make 700 Club Founder 'Person of Interest'

Rebecca Solnit: How 9/11 Should Be Remembered

It was nearly two-years ago that we highlighted Rebecca Solnit here on The Garlic, and, on this specific day, we are compelled to have her return.



Over on TomDispatch, Ms. Solnit has a fantastic post, an excerpt from her new book, that should be read by one-and-all;

How 9/11 Should Be Remembered - The Extraordinary Achievements of Ordinary People

For this eighth anniversary of that terrible day, the first post-Bush-era anniversary, let's remember what actually happened:

When the planes became missiles and the towers became torches and then shards and clouds of dust, many were afraid, but few if any panicked, other than the President who was far away from danger. The military failed to respond promptly, even though the Pentagon itself was attacked, and the only direct resistance that day came from inside Flight 93, which went down in a field in Pennsylvania on its way to Washington.

[snip]

We failed, however, when we let our own government and media do what that small band from the other side of the Earth could not. Some of us failed, that is, for there were many kinds of response, and some became more radical, more committed, more educated. Mark Fichtel, the president of the New York Coffee, Sugar, and Cocoa Exchange, who scraped his knees badly that morning of September 11th when he was knocked over in a fleeing crowd, was helped to his feet by "a little old lady." He nonetheless had his Exchange up and running the next day, and six months later quit his job, began studying Islam, and then teaching about it.

[snip]

Far more people could have died on September 11th if New Yorkers had not remained calm, had not helped each other out of the endangered buildings and the devastated area, had not reached out to pull people from the collapsing buildings and the dust cloud. The population of the towers was lower than usual that morning, because it was an election day and many were voting before heading to work; it seems emblematic that so many were spared because they were exercising their democratic powers. Others exercised their empathy and altruism. In the evacuation of the towers, John Abruzzo, a paraplegic accountant, was carried down 69 flights of stairs by his coworkers.

[snip]

Many New Yorkers that day committed similar feats of solidarity at great risk. In fact, in all the hundreds of oral histories I read and the many interviews I conducted to research my book, "A Paradise Built in Hell: The Extraordinary Communities That Arise in Disaster", I could find no one saying he or she was abandoned or attacked in that great exodus. People were frightened and moving fast, but not in a panic. Careful research has led disaster sociologists to the discovery -- one of their many counter-stereotypical conclusions -- that panic is a vanishingly rare phenomenon in disasters, part of an elaborate mythology of our weakness

[snip]

New Yorkers triumphed on that day eight years ago. They triumphed in calm, in strength, in generosity, in improvisation, in kindness. Nor was this something specific to that time or place: San Franciscans during the great earthquake of 1906, Londoners during the Blitz in World War II, the great majority of New Orleanians after Hurricane Katrina hit, in fact most people in most disasters in most places have behaved with just this sort of grace and dignity.

[snip]

After the 9/11 storm struck, the affected civilians in New York were seen as victims; after Katrina, those in New Orleans were portrayed as brutes. In both cities, the great majority of affected people were actually neither helpless nor savage; they were something else -- they were citizens, if by that word we mean civic engagement rather than citizenship status. In both places ordinary people were extraordinarily resourceful, generous, and kind, as were some police officers, firefighters, rescue workers, and a very few politicians. In both cases, the majority of politicians led us astray. All I would have wanted in that September moment, though, was politicians who stayed out of the way, and people who were more suspicious of the news and the newsmakers.

[snip]

The dead must be remembered, but the living are the monument, the living who coexist in peace in ordinary times and who save one another in extraordinary times. Civil society triumphed that morning in full glory. Look at it: remember that this is who we were and can be.

September 11th may never become the holiday, or, day-of-remembrance, it should be, chiefly due to the dwarf, finks, phonies and frauds of The Bush Grindhouse, and all the cronies - the Flying Monkeys of the Right Wing Freak Show, and the cheerleading Corporate Media - how they exploited the tragedy for the masturbation of their own warped ideology (ironically, killing hundreds-of-thousands more).

It takes ordinary people - like Rebecca Solnit, and many, many others - to put it in the right perspective.

Go read Rebecca Solnit's "How 9/11 Should Be Remembered - The Extraordinary Achievements of Ordinary People", and leave a comment, if you were able to keep your eyes dry while absorbing it.

And, you can go here to purchase her book, "A Paradise Built in Hell: The Extraordinary Communities That Arise in Disaster"

Minced Garlic - New Keith Olbermann Special Comment Slams Giuliani: "Republicans equal life; Democrats equal death?"

Maybe it was the couple of days off ... Or that baseball season is back ... Or, that he had to endure "America's Mayor" Rudy Giuliani for eight-years.

MSNBC Countdown host Keith Olbermann came out with a full head of steam with a new Special Comment this evening, "Republicans equal life; Democrats equal death? Rudy Giuliani exploiting fear for power and personal gain. A special comment about Rudolph Giuliani’s remarks at a Lincoln Day dinner in New Hampshire."

And it didn't take long for him to get the heat turned up - like, about 10-seconds into it;

"Only in this America of the early 21st century could it be true that the man who was president during the worst attack on our nation and the man who was the mayor of the city in which that attack principally unfolded would not only be absolved of any and all blame for the unreadiness of their own governments, but, moreover, would thereafter be branded heroes of those attacks ..."





Then, about a another 10-seconds later;









"And if you somehow missed what he was really saying, somehow didn’t hear the none-too-subtle subtext of “vote Democratic and die,” Mr. Giuliani then stripped away any barrier of courtesy, telling Roger Simon of politico.com:

“America will be safer with a Republican president.”

How ... dare ... you, sir?

“How many casualties will we have?” — this is the language of Osama bin Laden."

Now, something else is going on here, beyond Giuliani's pandering to the lowest common denominator (and do the heralded base Republicans really eat this up like happy soup? What fucking sheep they must really be if they do).

Bush and Cheney have been doing it the past week, or so. Now Giuliani.

Is Rove, and the RNC, spooked by the "lost emails" and the thought of getting their sorry asses hauled into a Senate hearing? Is the Lincoln Group and WHIG on Spring Break? Or are they just trying to save a few bucks by recycling old smears and spin?

"This is not the mere politicizing of Iraq, nor the vague mumbled epithets about Democratic “softness” from a delusional vice president.

This is casualties on a partisan basis — of the naked assertion that Mr. Giuliani’s party knows all and will save those who have voted for it — and to hell with everybody else.

And that he, with no foreign policy experience whatsoever, is somehow the messiah-of-the-moment."

Olbermann then skewers Giuliani, and the Republicans, with a gattling-gun list of "Which Party ... ", which I will let you read or watch (links below) to get the full effect.

"Call attention to the casualties on your watch, and your long, waking slumber in the years between the two attacks on the World Trade Center.

Become the candidate who runs on the Vote-For-Me-Or-Die platform.

Do a Joe McCarthy, a Lyndon Johnson, a Robespierre.

Only, if you choose so to do, do not come back surprised nor remorseful if the voters remind you that “terror” is not just a matter of “casualties.” It is, just as surely, a matter of the promulgation of fear.

Claim a difference between the parties on the voters’ chances of survival — and you do bin Laden’s work for him."

Links

MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann

Olbermann Special Comment: Rudy Giuliani exploiting fear for power and personal gain

Watch The Video of Olbermann Special Comment: Rudy Giuliani exploiting fear for power and gain

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Boston Spent Nearly A Million Dollars Dealing With Cartoon Ad Hoax

News Item: Froth, fear, and fury

10. Had to pay all the police and emergency personnel to stand around, while they waited for school to get out, and they could find a kid to tell them about the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force"

9. All the emergency vehicles mistakenly gassed up at Exxon stations

8. Got huge bill from FEMA, who immediately sent in trailer trucks full of ice

7. Took advice from Boston Red Sox, and entered into sweepstakes to bid on ace Japanese terror expert

6. Upon discovering it was guerrilla marketing", mistakenly rounded-up zoo experts from around the world for expensive satellite conference

5. Felix the Cat and his bag of tricks doesn't come cheap

4. Since it involved roadways and highways, automatically have to calculate costs on the Big Dig scale

3. Tens-of-thousands spent flying the cast of NBCs' "Heroes" into Boston, just in case the threat was real

2. In order to get White House to release Federal resources, got strong-armed into making donation to Bush Presidential Library

1. Chasing down false lead, spent thousands on renting DVD's and hired dozens to watch Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner cartoons, to see if device was anything from the Acme Company


Felix the Cat and his bag of tricks doesn't come cheap

Minced Garlic: New Keith Olbermann Special Comment - Bush shoots for ‘Jaws,’ delivers ‘Jaws 2’

Somewhat pedestrian Special Comment by our anchor-hero Keith Olbermann last evening.

That is not meant to question the sincerity of Mr. Olbermann, or his anger. Well-written and well-delivered, it was, as teased earlier in the broadcast, about the "nexus of politics and terror, a subject well-covered in previous 'Countdown' programs ( The nexus of politics and terror revisited, The Nexus of Politics and Terror).

On the other hand, can't quite create a quorum of other mainstream news people who have called out the President on his lies as much, or as eloquently, as Olbermann has, either in his normal news reports and with his heralded Special Comments, and he honed in last evening on our Decider, aka Decision-Maker's, State of the Union Address.

(And he does give a nod to David Swanson, press secretary for Dennis Kucinich’s 2004 presidential campaign, "who has blogged about the dubious 96 words in Mr. Bush’s address this year and who has concluded that of the four counter-terror claims the president made, he went 0-for-4.")

"West Yorkshire in England has a new chief police constable.

Upon his appointment, Sir Norman Bettison made one of the strangest comments of the year:

“The threat of terrorism,” he says, “is lurking out there like ‘Jaws 2.’”

Sir Norman did not exactly mine the richest ore for his analogy of warning. A critic once said of the flopping sequel to the classic film: “You’re gonna need a better screenplay.”

But this obscure British police official has reminded us that terrorism is still being sold to the public in that country — and in this — as if it were a thrilling horror movie and we were the naughty teenagers about to be its victims.

And it underscores the fact that President Bush took this tack, exactly a week ago tonight, in his terror-related passage in the State of the Union.

A passage that was almost lost amid all the talk about Iraq and health care and bipartisanship and the fellow who saved the stranger from an oncoming subway train in New York City.

But a passage ludicrous and deceitful. Frightening in its hollow conviction.

Frightening, in that the president who spoke it tried for “Jaws” but got “Jaws 2."

Olbermann proceeded to go into Bush's claims, quoting, first, from the SOTU, then, debunking it with facts, quoting official sources.

At one point, in discussing the Los Angeles Liberty Tower claim, and referencing Roger Cressey, the former staff director of counter-terrorism for the National Security Council, now a news analyst for NBC News and MSNBC, Olbermann illustrated the absurdity.

"In our conversation, he put the “Library Tower story” into a category he called the “What-Ifs” — as in the old “Saturday Night Live sketches that tested the range of comic absurdity:

What if ... Superman had worked for the Nazis?

What if ... Spartacus had had a Piper Cub during the battle against the Romans in 70 B.C.?"

One-by-one, Olbermann hung up President Bush's boasting of foiling terrorism like a pinata, and then whacked away at it, with facts, causing, not candy, but the truth to spill out.

"What you gave us a week ago tonight, sir, was not intelligence, but rather a walk-through of how speculation and innuendo, guesswork and paranoia, daydreaming and fear-mongering, combine in your mind and the minds of your government, into proof of your derring-do and your success against the terrorists.

The ones who didn’t have anthrax.

The ones who didn’t have plane tickets or passports.

The ones who didn’t have any clue, let alone any plots.

But they go now into our history books as the four terror schemes you’ve interrupted since 9/11.

They go into the collective consciousness as firm evidence of your diligence, of the necessity of your ham-handed treatment of our liberties, of the unavoidability of the 3,075 Americans dead in Iraq.

Congratulations, sir.

You are the hero of “Jaws 2.”

You have kept the Piper Cub out of the hands of Spartacus."


Links

Read or watch the video of Special Comment - Bush shoots for ‘Jaws,’ delivers ‘Jaws 2’

MSNBC Countdown with Keith Olbermann

The death of habeas corpus - Olbermann: ‘The president has now succeeded where no one has before’

Garlictorial - We’ll Need That Table