Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: Other Born-Again Virgins Now That John Mason Is Out

10. Paula Abdul - They told me to say I was one, to help the ratings

9. Mark McGwire - Since this is happening now, and in the future, I can talk about it

8. John Ashcroft - I did cover the statues and, I can redo the song to 'When Born-Again Virgins Soar

7. Paris Hilton - Really, all I have to do is say it and I'm in the clear?

6. Pat O'Brien - Gives me another reason to go on Dr. Phil's

5. Steven Jobs - Hmmm … If this gets hot, do I see a Born-Again iPod coming out of this or what?

4. Jeff Gannon - Nobody believed I was a reporter, so they probably won't believe this

3. Bill Gates - I better do it, before that minister ruins my business completely

2. Martha Stewart - If it gets this damned bloody ankle thing off me, I'll say that I'm anything you want me to be

1. President Bush - Gotta do something to get away from that horse-milking joke

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