Monday, May 09, 2005

Top Ten Cloves: Things Karl Rove Did To Help Get Tony Blair Elected Again

10. Got the Swift Boat Veterans to smear Blair's Liberal Democratic opposition

9. Had American Idol Corey Clark record some really bad reggae tunes and distribute in Jamaican districts

8. Placed Ralph Nadar on the ballot to drain votes

7. Circulated Press Releases giving Blair credit for finding Saddam Hussein, with picture of Blair in a flight suit

6. Used same tactic as in Cleveland to create long lines to suppress voting

5. Had the Wendy's woman claim to find finger in fish-and-chips to divert media away from campaign

4. Got Jeff Gannon a job with the BBC so he can ask Blair softball questions

3. Spread the rumor that if Blair not elected, Charles and Camilla would take over the government

2. To promote Family Values of Blair, got Margaret Thatcher to endorse him by announcing she's a Born-Again Virgin

1. Secretly took Laura Bush to London pubs to tell dirty jokes

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