Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons New Superman Isn’t Fighting For Truth, Justice and The American Way

News Item: Truth, Justice and (Fill in the Blank)

10. Passport issues - Fortress of Solitude is his legal residence

9. Perry White wasn’t going to use it in Daily Plant news articles about Superman - Didn’t test well with the focus groups

8. To long a phrase when IM’ing or texting his friends

7. Part of a snit he’s throwing, over DC Comics assigning Batman and Robin to hunt down Osama bin Laden

6. When he uses it, superhero buddies think he’s a snob and evening always ends up in a super brawl

5. Show me the money! ... Wanted multi-year contract, control and profit-share of his own product placements

4. Until the Same-Sex Marriage Amendment is defeated, can’t get behind present Administration or Congress

3. If Flag-Burning Amendment ever gets passed, Congress will expect him to chase down, capture flag-burners and that will just screw up his schedule big-time

2. Gets in the way when he’s trying to pick up French chicks

1. Because of his intergalactic lifestyle, had his financial records looked over by the Bush Administration

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