Sunday, September 03, 2006

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 3 September 2006

President Dan Abrams quietly announced this week that anchor Rita Cosby has been put on a medical leave of absence, and will be entering a rehab clinic to deal with her "Breaking News Syndrome"

Along with attempting to break into the automobile carrying self-confessed Ramsey suspect John Mark Karr (photo below), Cosby is said have thrown a violent tantrum when
MSNBC would not issue a "Breaking News" bulletin in the middle of their "Doc-Bloc" so Cosby could report that the automobile carrying Karr was pulling away

The White House has reached an agreement with Verizon, giving them unlimited use of the trademark tagline "Can You Hear Me Now?" in their new PR effort to rebrand their failed Iraq policy with the new fight against Islamic-Fascists and linking, with speeches this past week by Vice President Dick Cheney and Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, critics of the President and his policy with Neville Chamberlain and other Nazi appeasers for the stretch run of the upcoming Midterm elections

In the "It's the thought that counts" department, the new bumper sticker (above), promoting "Honk if Pluto is still a planet" has been causing havoc on the nation's roadways. A spokesperson of the Department of Transportation said that incidents of accidents and roadrage have "exponentially increased" since the bumpers stickers began appearing

In a related matter, NASA says they have been flooded with applicants, from "all walks of life" volunteering to be put in space to either "picket the solar system" over the demotion of Pluto's planet status, or are seeking to relocate and move to Pluto, in order to build it back up to planet size

Scientists are baffled and believe it may be yet another sign of the advancement of Global Warming, when in South Dakota, large stone heads began popping out of the ground

Katherine Harris said this week that God has already told her, if she loses her bid to be elected to the Senate, that she should immediately change her career and become a horseracing jockey

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Just found The Garlic

Very funny stuff ... Good Work