Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Top Ten Cloves: Things Karl Rove Did As Last Night’s Elections Results Rolled In

News Item: Karl Rove's Reputation May Be on the Line

10. Made note to call Cheney in the morning and recommend that he get a good lawyer

9. Get those @#$!%&! Diebold guys in here and find out what happened!

8. Thought about grabbing a couple of really big FBI Agents and going over into Virginia and kicking George Allen’s ass

7. Began to viciously smear himself

6. Stopped smearing himself, called every losing GOP candidate and viciously smeared them

5. Looked at his options and started testing out the phrase “McCain’s Brain”

4. Debated with Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld that they should have announced Saddam Hussein guilty earlier this summer and then hanged him two-days before the elections

3. Lamented not putting out the rumor that Claire McCaskill was a lesbian

2. Called Joe Lieberman and told him what’s-what, that they would be collecting on all the support the White House gave him

1. Hunted for Ted Haggard’s phone number so he could see about getting a massage and some crystal meth to get through the night

As the Democrats rolled to take the House Majority, and likely the Senate as well, last evening,
Karl Rove looked at his options and started testing out the phrase “McCain’s Brain”

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