Top Ten Cloves: Things About The Rocket Scientists' Party, Yuri Night

News Item: Fisher: Party like a rocket scientist (It'll be fun)

10. First technical glitch of the night will spook the rocket scientists, many believing the HAL is real and in the room

9. Perhaps the only party to have a vendor who does nothing more that tape broken eyeglasses

8. Astronaut Lisa Nowak is schedule to be on hand, to autograph official NASA diapers

7. Local area Jolt Soda sales will go through the roof

6. Rocket Scientists making lots of plans, to see each other again at the Albert Party, in June

5. For the DeadHeads that show up, they'll have to be constantly reassured that it is not 1961

4. Bartenders will get boringly annoyed, after about 10-minutes, with all the rocket scientists who order a Lost In Space Martini, in the voice of Robot

3. Instead of buying a keg, they'll spend half the day designing and fabricating one

2. Parking lot fills up early - Hundreds mistook the event for "Yugo Night"

1. With so many rocket scientists in one room, we discover, when they want to derisively dismiss a colleagues' intelligence, they say "It's not ditch digging, you know"


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Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell The Shuttle Astronauts Are Drunk

News Item: Report: Drunk astronauts allowed on shuttle

10. Drunk astronauts make a few stops, to pick up their friends

9. Astronauts prank call the White House, telling the President that they found the WMD's in outer space

8. Continually take unauthorized space walks, to go back to shuttle's engine to light their cigarettes

7. Don't have to worry about walking a straight line in a no-gravity environment

6. Keeps calling mission control with "Whitney Houston, you have a problem", followed by a lot of giggling

5. Start singing "Fly Me To The Moon" and then say, "Hey, why not ..." and change course to head there

4. Going through space, they forget to put their headlights on

3. Alarm for bay doors opening-and-closing going off constantly - They're tossing away empty beer cans

2. Once they reach the Russian Space Station, badger the Russian cosmonauts to hit up their Tang with a little vodka

1. Come in landing at Edwards Air Force Base steering the shuttle with their feet