Breaking News! Bush Sees Shadow; Another Year of Lawbreaking Predicted

Oval Office Event Draws Thousands; Top Hat and Tails, and an Outcome "Just Like The Movie"

In what started out as an inside joke, among just a few staffers, has now grown to a full-scale event, with thousands of government employees gathering around the West Wing, and the grounds of the Bush GrindHouse, to see the spectacle.

For the past seven years, as soon as The Commander Guy walks into the Oval Office on February 2nd, hearts are stopped and breath is held - will he see his shadow, a bona fide indicator of continued disregard for the laws of the country - or not.

Reports are just coming in, over the roar of the crowd - The Commander Guy saw his own shadow ... Another year of lawbreaking lays ahead!

Often timed with the other famous prognosticator, Puxsutawney Phil, the legendary Pennsylvania groundhog, who also saw his own shadow this morning, the Oval Office event has grown to almost the same, frenzied, party-atmosphere as takes place in Gobbler's Knob.

Government employees from the State Department, Pentagon, Transportation, FBI, CIA, including some who travel to Washington from federal offices around the country, and a few from international posts, all begin gathering at and around the Bush Grindhouse in the pre-dawn hours, some staking out positions days in advance.

For the occasion, as like the crew at Gobbler's Knob, those that work in the West Wing, don tails and top hats, and only a chosen few handle The Commander Guy after he's seen his own shadow.

A cottage industry has grown around the Oval Office event, with trinkets, tchochtkes and T-Shirts - this year's showing, being the last Bush Shadow event, on the front, an outline of hand, holding a pen over a document, and, on the back, a listing of The Commander Guys' over-700 Signing Statements.

Vice President Dick Cheney, sources have told The Garlic, was at the event, wearing last years' official T-Shirt, simply the image of a pair of headphones embracing the country at both coasts, with the words "We're Listening" underneath.

"This really has come to emulate the movie," offered Hildy Johnson, editor of the monthly newsletter “What Did He Say Now?” that tracks and reviews President Bush’s speeches and interviews, referring to the comedy classic, 'Groundhog Day'.

"Bill Murray goes through the same day, over and over, and nothing happens to him," continued Johnson. "He doesn't get injured or hurt ...Arrested ... Nothing happens ... And Bush, it's the same thing ... He breaks law after law and nothing happens to him ... It's amazing, just like the movie."


Bonus Groundhog Riffs

Groundhog Lied; Investigation Launched

Breaking News! Bush Administration To Tap Punxsutawney Phil To Bolster Foreign Policy; Gobbler's Knob Appearance Tomorrow Will Be Last For Famous Prognosticator

More Discord In The White House; White House At Odds With Groundhog Hire, Handlers Over Cheney Shooting; Bush Said To Be "Livid, As Famous Prognosticator 'Never Tipped Us Off"; UK's Blair Said To Be Frantic For Direction



















For the occasion, as like the crew at Gobbler's Knob, those that work in the West Wing, don tails and top hats, and only a chosen few handle The Commander Guy after he's seen his own shadow.

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things President Bush Wants To Put In The Economic Stimulus Package

News Item: Tentative Deal Reached on Economic Stimulus Package; Most Workers Would Receive at Least $300 Tax Rebate

10. Autographed pictures, of him, in his flightsuit

9. Even though it has nothing to do with Sept. 11th, a proclamation, urging everyone to "Go Shopping!"

8. Immunity for the Telecommunications companies, just in case the Democrats don't cave on the FISA Bill

7. An advertising insert, when the $300 Rebate checks are mailed, asking for it to be donated to his Presidential Library

6. New law, banning anyone receiving a Rebate check from donating it to Americans United for Change, and their anti-Bush campaign

5. An Amazon Kindle, so everyone can download his "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" Reading List

4. An RFP, seeking anyone that can help them find the missing White House emails

3. Sneak in an amendment, that will stimulate, at least, one person - Scooter Libby's Pardon

2. Stipulation, that Rebates paid out in those New Bush Coins

1. A Signing Statement, banning the word "Recession", backed by heavy fines and jail time


Bonus "It's Not A Recession" Recession Articles

Robert B. Reich: The politics of an economic nightmare; No U.S. leader wants to admit how bad the damage may get from the one-two punch of the credit crunch and housing slump

Goldman Sachs sees recession in 2008

Paul Krugman: Stimulus disappointment

Danny Schechter: Subprime or Subcrime? Time To Investigate and Prosecute

Kevin A. Hassett: 5 Myths About That Depressing R-Word

Happy Law Day!

I suppose, a copy of the Constitution might be an appropriate gift to give the Chief Decider (if you're on a budget, you can go with the just the Bill of Rights)

A Law Day Unto Himself; Beyond Presidential Power, What Is Bush Upholding?

And, speaking of budgets ...

IRAQ WAR: Price tag for war in Iraq on track to top $500 billion

Links

Proclamation by the President: Law Day, U.S.A., 2007

Bill of Rights Institute

The Constitution of the United States

Email the President a Happy Law Day greeting

Breaking News! Back To The Drawing Board For Security Council

New Problem As Jong Il Issues “Korean-Style” Signing Statement To Invalidate U.N. Sanctions

U.S. Irate But Must Abstain Due To Conflict of Interest; North Korea Also To Start Page Program For Potential Scandal

A new crisis has enveloped the White House, as, in rejecting the United Nations Security Council sanctions voted last Saturday, Kim Jong Il, the North Korean leader issued “Signing Statements” this morning that invalidate the sanctions and allow him to act freely in interpreting the rules, as he sees fitting his own agenda.

U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, John Bolton, was livid, first at the brazen disregard of the Security Council by Jong Il, then, after being informed that the United States would have to abstain from further discussion and debate on the matter, due to the conflict of interest it presents, namely, President Bush’s extensive and profound use of Signing Statements.

Bolton, red-faced, brushed past reporters after being asked to leave the Security Council chamber, barking at an aide, however he refused comment to the shouted questions from the media throng.

Did Rice’s Comments ‘Embolden” The North Koreans?

Also refusing comment as the State Department, and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

Just last week, Rice praised the success of the Bush Administration’s ‘Axis of Evil’ program in relation to North Korea testing a nuclear device, calling it “wildly successful” that North Korea was exhibiting the characteristic rogue behavior.

It’s not clear if Jong Il’s use of Signing Statements falls within the ‘Axis of Evil’ program, or if North Korea is improvising, feeling emboldened by Rice’s comments.

This all goes back, says John Lloyd Sullivan, principal of ‘All American Seeds’, the think tank that monitors the use of seeds in political or humanitarian projects, “to the Inspector General’s report earlier this year. These people have no strategies ... No plan ... And they have no seeds to plant in North Korea, if that’s what they are thinking about.”

Rice attempted to backtrack today, warning Iran that the sanctions issued against North Korea should serve as notice to abandon their own nuclear ambitions.

“Bush Dug This Hole And Rove Was Holding The Shovel”

Perhaps, more than Secretary Rice, the White House has been put in a box, by the alleged actions of top Bush aide, Karl Rove, as well as the President’s habitual use of Signing Statements.

Last Friday, a bombshell was dropped, with reports that Rove has been boasting the North Korean nuclear test was “his work”, this year’s “October Surprise”

More than Rove shining his own apple, it is President Bush that may come to feel the brunt of International outrage.

Since taking office in 2000, Bush as issued well over 700 Signing Statements, at the urging of Vice President Dick Cheney, and longtime Cheney aide, David Addington. In citing elements of the Constitution, it is Cheney and Addington’s philosophy that the President’s office have virtually unchecked and unfettered authority, essentially ignoring the other two wings of the government - Congress and the Judiciary.

“This is likely to develop into a new trend,” offered Harold "Ace" Larson, an analyst for the counterintelligence think tank, 'Book'em and Beat'em'.

“You’ll see others ... be it terrorists, rogue nations, perhaps even some of our friends and allies, use their own version of Signing Statements to push back against U.S. policy. They’ll just stand up and say “Hey, we don’t have to do that’ and what will our response be?”

"Bush dug this hole," added Larson, "and Rove was holding the shovel."

Signals From Pyongyang?

For the North Korean leader to issue a Signing Statement is, for all practical matters, redundant, having issued a terse denunciation of the sanctions. Being that Jong Il issues the edicts and laws of the country, there are little, to no consequences inside North Korea as to implementing the Signing Statement

And it is not known if Jong Il was being serious or not, with the statement issued by the North Koreans, which read in part that “we wish to use this time to endeavor to be a good world citizen, and will employ more of the Western governmental practices of other nations to help us in our cause.”

Sources close to the North Korean delegation to the United Nations say that Jong Il, in addition to employing Signing Statements, has given signals that the government in Pyongyang will launch a “Page Program”, to further emulate Western-style governments. The goal, sources say is that, hopefully, the North Korean Page Program will break into a scandal, which will offer further proof of the North Korean’s desire to join the ranks of world citizenry.

Other then saying that the North Koreans’ actions are “unacceptable”, there was no further comment from the White House.















President Bush's profound and extensive use of Signing Statements has come back to haunt him