Ahhh, Ross, They're Hacks Too!

It's nice to see our Ignorant Dolts working, pushing, going at it with vigor, to maintain their dubious status.

Case-in-point this week is the Little-Billy-Kristol-Replacement-Model over at the New York Times, Ross Douthat.



Ross weighed in lamenting about the travails, and sinking ratings of CNN, offering some of his sterling advice.

In it, he stated this;

But not the “Crossfire” of 2004. CNN overreacted to Jon Stewart’s jeremiad, but he wasn’t entirely wrong. The show was years removed from its Michael Kinsley/Pat Buchanan glory days, and its liberal hosts at the time, Begala and James Carville, really were Democratic Party hacks. (The conservatives, Carlson and Robert Novak, were much more independent-minded, but the constant need to rebut partisan talking points took its toll on them as well.)

Whoa, hold the phone!



The liberals are hacks, but the conservatives, Tucker Carlson and Robert Novak, are not?

We're talking about 50% of the old "Errors and No Facts" writing team, the guy who had his head up the Bush Grindhouse's ass, helping them out Valerie Plame, not to mention, his mowing down pedestrians on the streets of Washington.

And the little bow-tied He-Man, he consistently threw partisan hand grenades, even going to the point of his "Right Wing" verision of Huffington Post.

You're just playing the old, "IOKIYAR" card there, Ross.

And, The Garlic wasn't the only one to have a little trouble with his column.

Glenn Greenwald took Douthat to school, for erroneously trying to label Rachel Maddow as a hack (which, to his credit, he tried to pull that one back).

Wonkette slapped him around, as well.

Keep at it Ross ...

We knew, early on, putting you on our Ignorant Dolt roster, you wouldn't let us down.

He-Man Heaved!

He wore bow ties and heroically battled predatory homosexuals.

He danced with the stars.

In the end, perhaps, he was just the ying, to Rita Cosby's yang.

Word came out the MSNBC is tossing Tucker Carlson, host of the black-holed time-slotted "Tucker" of 6PM (or, perhaps, it is Tucker himself that made it a black-hole time-slot).

Now, this is a story that, perhaps, would have been hot and big yesterday, and it was building to that until about 1PM, when the first of the avalanche of news burst out on Client No. 9, the New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, and his romp in prostitution land.

Boy, considering Spitzer's career and background, think of the cross-pollination of media, if it came out that Spitzer beat up a pimp in a public restroom?

Tucker could have had him on for the hour, and compare He-Man notes with the Governor.

Perhaps Tweety would have jumped on the bandwagon, and gushed about the Governor's manly scent, his Aqua Velva.

No, no such luck.

More words indicate the Tucker is being replaced with a show, hosted by the dancing, Bush-loving, intrepid reporter, David Gregory.

Oh boy!

I either need to put cable in the kitchen, or bring my dinner into the den, so I don't miss a minute of this riveting drivel.

Somebody start the counter, on how many time "Stretch" (Bush's pet name of him) pushes back against guests that diss The Commander Guy, and/or the Bush Grindhouse.

At least, for the moment, they held the line of giving Rachel Maddow the keys to the building, though, no doubt, as has been the case, they'll have her name stenciled on chair, on the set of Gregory's new gig (Just wondering, does Maddow have the same deal as Pat Buchanan, in that, she has to appear on nearly every MSNBC broadcast?)

Stay tuned, Batfans ...


It's A TuckerPalooza!

Trex: Don’t Everybody Cry at Once

Washington Whispers: Oh, No! It's Out With the Bow

Wonkette: Tucker Carlson Still Not Gay!

Think Progress: Save Tucker?

Drum Roll Please ... For Tucker Carlson - He's Jumping The Shark!

Rachel Maddow: Hillary Apologist and Obama Basher

"...I see a lot of shades of George Bush as a candidate in what we’re hearing from Obama ... I think that Obama learned a little bit about how to campaign from what George Bush did. I hope that he would be, of course, a better president than Bush has been though ..."

Who's paying Rachel Maddow's salary, MSNBC, Air America Radio, or the Hillary Clinton Campaign?

The Liberal/Progressive's rising media darling was wearing her Hillary on her sleeve last evening, late into the coverage as a panel member on the MSNBC broadcast of the post-Iowa Caucus discussions.

When you Google "Rachel Maddow", you (or at least my search provided) get 192,000 results.

Looking over the first 100, there's nary a negative word about Ms. Maddow, not even from the Freakshow denizens, Dittoheads, or the Sludge Reports' flying monkeys.

And if she is a Hillary fan and supporter, God bless her, but was it part of her assignment with MSNBC last evening to bash Dem Iowa Caucus winner Barack Obama?

Rachel Maddow as Obama Basher

From the MSNBC transcript;

OLBERMANN: Rachel Maddow, the subject of strong views. Did not the strong views get us the president we have as well? Is there not fire to be played with in that category.

MADDOW: Well, it’s interesting. I actually feel like although I like Obama a lot more than I like George Bush as a politician and I guess probably as a person, I see a lot of shades of George Bush as a candidate in what we’re hearing from Obama. In that what Obama’s actually offering are fairly liberal policies, but spoken in language and delivered in a style that’s very moderate and that’s actually kind of post partisan in tone.

We don’t think of George Bush’s presidency as having been that way. But as a candidate, that’s exactly what he was. He was proposing very conservative policies, but in a conciliatory, compassionate, post partisan, can’t we all just get along kind of way. And that’s why people I think maybe ended up surprised at the way he governed. I think that Obama learned a little bit about how to campaign from what George Bush did. I hope that he would be, of course, a better president than Bush has been though.

Whoa, there girl!

Obama is Bush?

If fellow panel member Pat Buchanan said it, you would, well, brush it off, knowing what a whack-job Buchanan is.

And even being cautious about over-praise, being it was only one night, one event, but tying Obama to Bush?

Did the Hillary Campaign hack into her earpiece? Was she reading off the next morning's Hillary Campaign Talking Points?

Because, before she bashed Obama, you could see the hair on her neck rising, when host Chris Matthews, Keith Olbermann and other panel members were talking in tones of Hillary being finished.

Rachel Maddow as the Hillary Apologist

MATTHEWS: This country moves in a strange pattern. In 1870, we gave African-Americans, men, the right to vote, at least in the Constitution. Obviously Jim Crowe got in the way of that for 100 years. But it was written down into law, the amendment to our Constitution, African-Americans, former slaves, will be voting citizens of the United States.

Women got to vote, which is always interesting, 50 years later. So there’s something perhaps primordial about the willingness of this country to at least, in theory, extend the franchise, the presidency, even, to an African-American rather than a woman. That is the interesting question mark that this Hillary Clinton campaign raises.

Let’s go to the panel with this hot potato, starting with Rachel Maddow.

Rachel, and then Howard, I want you, and Pat, and, of course, Gene Robinson, all of you from your different perspectives, what is it about America that here we are in 2008, finally picking an African-American with a real shot to be president of the United States, and a woman just got a very bad night in Iowa?

Rachel?

MADDOW: I think that you’re calling this a really bad night for Hillary too early. I think that we need to see how close it’s going to be. And if ultimately the results are a three-way tie or look close to it, or Barack Obama wins tightly, that’s a story. I think it matters.

I don’t see this as a huge rejection of Hillary if she doesn’t come in with a big win, honestly. I know you see it differently.

MATTHEWS: You mean, the fact that two-thirds of the Democratic Party voted against her isn’t a rejection?

MADDOW: Two-thirds of the Democratic Party will have voted against all of the candidates if it comes in as a three-way tie, Chris. That’s the point.

The issue, if it comes out it’s a really close race, it’s going to be close heading into New Hampshire as well. And I think we discount that at our peril.

If Barack Obama, as you guys are projecting is going to be the winner, I think that’s the America we all want to live in. I think it’s an amazing day for the country and it’s great. I don’t know if it means that he gets the nomination ultimately, but it’s an exciting, historic day for the country.

OLBERMANN: Let me throw something in from the decision desk. Edwards and Clinton are in, just apropos what you’re saying, Rachel, a very tight race for second in the race for the state Democratic delegate equivalent. Those are the numbers we’re seeing so far.

And again, NBC News has projected, as you heard, Barack Obama as the winner of this Iowa caucus at 36 percent. Those other numbers are as close as you would suggest they would be, 31 percent and 31 percent.

MATTHEWS: But Howard—well, Rachel, I’ll go back to you so you can have a response here.

From the beginning of this year in the polling we’ve noticed that Hillary has been ahead of Obama all year. So she can’t claim to be somehow a comeback kid or someone who, you know, somehow never had a chance. She had a big chance in Iowa and she’s lucky to get second.

MADDOW: No, I think it may be a more comfortable place for her to be running from, to be able to say, I’m fighting for this, and to maybe play the gender card in a big way, to say we have got to fight in order to get a woman in the White House in a way that she couldn’t have played that way had she been in an inevitable front-runner. So, I mean, I think it’ll be real interesting to see how the Clinton campaign responds to this. They’re going to have to come up with something creative, but it’s not the worst position for her to be in.

Funny, I missed the PR this morning, from the Hillary camp, telling us how thrilled they are, going into New Hampshire in five days, from a third-place finish in Iowa.

And I didn't see Big Bill, on camera, extolling how coming in third-place in Iowa was the best strategic way for his wife to start off on getting the nomination.

It has been reported that Ms. Maddow has received a tryout from MSNBC (she's been appearing on the network with greater frequency the past few months), for a possible show, possibly replacing the He-Man, Tucker Carlson

If that is the case, please, someone at MSNBC, take away the HRC pom-poms before she goes on-air.

Drum Roll Please ... For Tucker Carlson - He's Jumping The Shark!

Maybe it was just his He-Man gayness showing.

Or, perhaps, nervous, hearing the footsteps of the canceling-your-show-memo-carrying producer coming down the hall.

In any event, MSNBC's Tucker Carlson joins some heady company (John McCain, Rudy Guiliani) in the Class of 2007 Shark Jumping department.

Brent Budowsky, of The Hill, noted it the other day in "Tucker Carlson Says Al Gore Is Like George Bush.."

WTF!

Surely this couldn't be accurate, that Budowsky was going off on some tangent, or the Carlson was engaging in some November Sweeps attempt at humor.

Gore the same as The Commander Guy?

Did I miss something?

It wasn't, best I recollect, Al Gore that took our Army marching into the Middle East to invade and occupy Iraq, was it?

Was Gore running around the deck of an aircraft carrier in a flightsuit? Is that on YouTube somewhere?

Did the former Vice President promise to fire whoever in his staff that leaked the name of Valerie Plame, but then do nothing (well, not exactly nothing - I don't believe it was Gore who commuted the sentence of convicted felon I.Lewis "Scooter" Libby, but that may have slipped by me)?

Did The Decider Guy win a Nobel Peace Prize? I rechecked the list of winners and didn't see his name on it - did they awarded him a special one, or something?

I have to roll with Budowsky, when he says "On what matters, Al Gore and George Bush have zero in common, and in fact, Gore is the exact antithesis of everything Bush stands for and does."

But, in looking at the transcript, there it was, Tucker Carlson claiming the Gore and The Shakespeare Guy were the same;

"Back with us, The Politico‘s Roger Simon and online columnist Bob Franken.

Roger, I am just struck by the similarities between these two. Both have powerful fathers who served in the Congress and whose ambitions were passed on to their sons. Both basically adopted new home states and kind of put on the dog pretending to be from that place.

SIMON: OK.

CARLSON: Both kind of had less than distinguished younger lives, then sort of burst out in to this—into the national eye. And both have kind of insecurity, I think, when you deal with them. Gore and Bush are basically the same person.

The former bow-tie-wearing television host didn't stop there. Tucker kept it going, adding more-and-more ridiculousness to the comparisons, with neither guest, Roger Simon, from The Politico and online columnist Bob Franken, slapping down Tucker, but rather playing along, in effect, helping Tucker get fitted into those water skis.

I was, Tucker, going to say, slap on the bow tie again and just let it all hang out ... In fact, make this a daily segment theme of your program, for as many days as it lasts (a going down-with-the-ship-kind-of-thing), of comparing our first Court-Appointed President (h/t Barry Crimmins) to good, honest people, who are truly making sacrifices, and who are working selflessly for the common good.

We encourage our visitors to read the transcript, for it appears Tucker either already has, or is lining up his next gig, of either curator of The Compassionate Conservative's Presidential Library, or, perhaps, just doing the grunt work of burnishing the legacy.

Whatever he does, he can proudly place on his resume, "Tucker Carlson, Shark Jumper"

Bonus Bow-Tie Links

Wonkette: Tucker Carlson Still Not Gay!

Crooks and Liars: Tucker Carlson Tries And Fails To Portray Dennis Kucinich As America Hater

Arianna Huffington: The Full Disclosure Tucker Carlson Isn't Making

Crooks and Liars: Save Tucker Carlson hilarity