Saturday, December 30, 2006

Garlic Special: A George Bush Dream - The Victory

In a new series, The Garlic will, occasionally, take a look (and liberty) with the somnolent state of our Court-Appointed President.

A George Bush Dream - The Victory

The late cover of darkness clung to the spread of Crawford in the short time before the first rays of the sun would soon expose the clumps of sagebrush yet to be cleared by George Jr.

Racing down the hallway, with bundles of newspapers under their arms, were the panting Chief of Staff Josh Bolten and Deputy White House Press Secretary Scott Stanzel. After the obligatory tap, Bolten threw open the door of the Presidential bedroom and rushed in, nearly knocking over the tower of Ek-A-Lec-Tic books stacked next to the Chief Decider’s bed.

Rubbing his eyes and yawning, the President asked, half-angry, half still in a sweet state of sleep “What is it Josh?”

“This, Mr. President,” as he and Stanzel tossed their load of newspapers, save one, on the President’s bed, causing the First Lady to stir.

“You won sir,” gushed Bolten.

The President, now gaining for what passes as his consciousness, pulled himself up on one elbow, his eye catching a glimpse of one papers’ headline;

Saddam Hangs, Bush Vindicated

The first jolt of glee surfed through the President, as his hand pushed one paper away to reveal another headline;

Insurgents Throw Down Arms; Iraqis Unite Following Saddam Hanging

Now fully awake, and with a buzz he hasn’t felts since he gave that impromptu backrub to Angela Merkel, he tore through the newspapers in a frenzy, a kaleidoscope of blurred headlines and sidebars;

Neocon Strategy Wins Out In End ... Bush, Cheney Immediately Nominated For Special Nobel Peace Prize ... As Thanks, OPEC Drops Price Of Barrel Below $15 ... Fitzgerald Submits Motion To Dismiss Libby Charges ... With Iraq Success, Bush Library To Top $1-Billion...

As the President gasped and chortled with each headline, Bolten grabbed the remote control and tuned into CNN. A reporter spoke on screen, as a banner flashed below: Osama bin Laden Signals End ... Will Turn Himself Over To U.S. Authorities in Pakistan

Bolten then turned to the President, reaching out with the last newspaper.

“And now, Mr. President, the final golden step to your full, rich legacy, The New York Times.

Blazed across the entire top fold of the newspaper, in red, white and blue ink - BUSH WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG

With near tears in his eyes, the President smiled broadly as he held up the newspaper, before ... before ...

“George ... George,” First Lady Laura Bush whispered sharply, shaking the shoulder of the President.

“George,” she said again. “Time to get up ... Time to go to work ...”

The President opened his eyes with a jarring snap. No newspapers. No CNN.

“C’mon George, get up,” the First Lady demanded, with a nudge to the President ribs.

He slowly swung his legs out and on to the floor, sitting on the edge collecting himself.

Pulling the covers up and turning over to steal a few more moments of slumber, the First Lady called out again.

“And George, do something today, will you ... Make a decision ... Just make it ... I’m getting tired of being pummeled with questions about it ... Just announce the darn strategy, will you please?”

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