Of Palin, Ahmadinejad and LaRouche

Another day (and night) on the sidelines, between a busy day on the homefront, and the continued heat, and more so, heavy-duty humidity ...

It's zappin' my writing mojo ...

So, tonight we point you to the post-of-the-day, honors going to Juan Cole, with a post over on Salon;

Sarah Palin, meet Mahmoud Ahmadinejad ...You two right-wing populists have a surprising amount in common

Is Sarah Palin America's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? The two differ in many key respects, of course, but it is remarkable how similar they are. There are uncanny parallels in their biographies, their domestic politics and the way they present themselves -- even in their rocky relationships with party elders

Check it out ... It is most entertaining ...

Hmmm ...

Now, we once tied Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to Lyndon LaRouche ...

Does that make, extending the degrees-of-separation, Ms. Ya'Bet'cha the female LaRouche?

Oh well ... Here's a tune for them all, from one of our all-time favorite vocalists (and getting mighty peeved that no one has posted his rendition of 'Send In The Clowns', for you can throw out all the others, it's the absolute best treatment of the workhorse tune - Seek it out, for you will be rewarded.)

Bill Henderson - I've Got A Crush On You

Ive Got A Crush On You - Bill Henderson

Somebody Check Jim Baker's Passport!

We could, perhaps, use the byline for this, and include "Cleveland, Iran".

It is being reported, from credible sources, that the Iranian Election this weekend makes the Bush Cronies robbery of 2000 (and 2004) look like stealing lunch money.



The Iranian branch of election-fixers haven't even bothered to wink-and-nod ...

Is Mir Hosain Mousavi in the process of becoming the Iranian Al Gore?

Are the Iranian Ayatollahs adios?

Allah O Akbar!

You could, it appears, alter the infamous Apocalypse Now line to "I love the smell of a fixed election ... It smells like revolution!"

It's hard to grab the narrative here, with so much still very fluid, as to the news going on inside, and coming out of, Iran.

So, we're just going to lightly riff here, and point you to a whole, great bevy of posts (and, you can go out to Memeorandum, for a cavalcade more).

Not surprising, Al Giordano has his finger-on-the-pulse, and a great headline - A World at the Edge of Its Seat;

That this video made it out of the country and on to the Internet this morning tells you everything you need to know about the difference between the youth uprising in China's Tienanmen Square twenty years ago this month - quashed with a massacre - and what is possible in Iran. Today, the world is wired from the bottom up: personal video cameras, cell phones, text messages, YouTube and the Internet in all its manifestations. Whatever is happening right now in Iran will not be easily swept under the Persian rug.

Andrew Sullivan points out that "The Revolution Will Be Twittered", and, in another, pointed out by a reader, that "Iran is headed for civil war."

"Tehran Burning", according to Libby Spencer, on the Impolitic, who then points to some great videos over on Michael Totten's blog, who notes that "The BBC says clashes between demonstrators and police in Tehran are the most violent in a decade."



There are also reports that Mousavi has been arrested (or has been placed in "house arrest).

Salon has a post up, from "Anonymous" on what's going down in Iran.

Juan Cole has a great read in "Stealing the Iranian Election" (and another, on Salon), as does Gary Sick, with his "Iran's political coup".

First, Cole;

As the real numbers started coming into the Interior Ministry late on Friday, it became clear that Mousavi was winning. Mousavi's spokesman abroad, filmmaker Mohsen Makhbalbaf, alleges that the ministry even contacted Mousavi's camp and said it would begin preparing the population for this victory.

The ministry must have informed Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei, who has had a feud with Mousavi for over 30 years, who found this outcome unsupportable. And, apparently, he and other top leaders had been so confident of an Ahmadinejad win that they had made no contingency plans for what to do if he looked as though he would lose.

They therefore sent blanket instructions to the Electoral Commission to falsify the vote counts.

Now, Sick;

The current election appears to repudiate both of those rules. The authorities were faced with a credible challenger, Mir Hossein Mousavi, who had the potential to challenge the existing power structure on certain key issues. He ran a surprisingly effective campaign, and his “green wave” began to be seen as more than a wave. In fact, many began calling it a Green Revolution. For a regime that has been terrified about the possibility of a “velvet revolution,” this may have been too much.

• On the basis of what we know so far, here is the sequence of events starting on the afternoon of election day, Friday, June 12.
• Near closing time of the polls, mobile text messaging was turned off nationwide
• Security forces poured out into the streets in large numbers
• The Ministry of Interior (election headquarters) was surrounded by concrete barriers and armed men
• National television began broadcasting pre-recorded messages calling for everyone to unite behind the winner
• The Mousavi campaign was informed officially that they had won the election, which perhaps served to temporarily lull them into complacency
• But then the Ministry of Interior announced a landslide victory for Ahmadinejad
• Unlike previous elections, there was no breakdown of the vote by province, which would have provided a way of judging its credibility
• The voting patterns announced by the government were identical in all parts of the country, an impossibility (also see the comments of Juan Cole at the title link)
• Less than 24 hours later, Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamene`i publicly announced his congratulations to the winner, apparently confirming that the process was complete and irrevocable, contrary to constitutional requirements
• Shortly thereafter, all mobile phones, Facebook, and other social networks were blocked, as well as major foreign news sources

[snip]

In their own paranoia and hunger for power, the leaders of Iran have insulted their own fellow revolutionaries who have come to have second thoughts about absolute rule and the costs of repression, and they may have alienated an entire generation of future Iranian leaders. At the same time, they have provided an invaluable gift to their worst enemies abroad.

Steve Clemons, on The Washington Note, has two great posts up - "Iran: There Will Be Blood" and "Anatomy of Iran's Right Wing Coup", while Ali Frick, at Think Progress points out that the Right Wing Freak Show is blaming Obama, for Ahmadinejad, and the entire fraud election.

Lastly, the Guardian UK has an excellent article - "The Iranian election controversy: what happens now?" - that lays out, succinctly, the happenings, what's going to happen, if that can be predicted at this particular moment.

It would appear, that the Iran its' citizens woke up to today, and the many mornings to come, is going to be vastly different than the Iran that was in place before this heisted election.

As we noted above, to stay on top of this, go to Memeorandum, for the newest reports and posts.

And, you gotta be thinking, that somewhere, wherever they are, James Baker, and, perhaps, Katherine Harris, have bags packed, and placed near the door, possibly expecting a long-distance phone call, saying they are needed, pronto, and to bring the whole team over, the Ayatollah's want the Deluxe Bag Job, now that they have, seemingly, screwed up the basic intro package.

Or, maybe, the Carlyle Group will dispatch him ...

Yes, Allah O Akbar ...

From the rooftops ...

Bonus Cleveland, Iran Heisted Election Links

Steve Hynd: Still Confused About The Iranian Election

Nate Silver: Statistical Report Purporting to Show Rigged Iranian Election Is Flawed

Juan Cole: Class v. Culture Wars in Iranian Elections: Rejecting Charges of a North Tehran Fallacy

Jill: The Iranians are not sitting idly by and watching their election be stolen by right-wing thugs

Digby: Iran

Brad: Memo to the Iranians

Play Ball! ... The Best Baseball Primer Is Here!

Yes, it's that time of year when The Garlic swings into Public Service mode, to educate the young'ins, nourish the nattering needy, and give you the blueprint for being able to sit down and watch a Major League Baseball game, not feeling as if, suddenly, the world began speaking Esperanto, and no one gave you the memo.



It's our triannual posting of "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?"

And, in fact, we can brag some, as, with only a little stretching, we can say that our Baseball Primer was endorsed by the now-sitting President of the United States;

Great piece! I’d like to ask if I can record ‘Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?’ for my next Spoken Word project?”

Barack Obama, Senator, U.S. Senate

And, it has crossed international boundaries;

Since I’ve been in a letter-writing mode lately, thought I’d drop you a note to say how much I enjoyed the baseball essay and how much I learned from it. Perhaps, someday, we’ll have the game over here (and with the stadium lights powered by our new nuclear energy!)

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran

What makes The Garlic's "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?", so good?

We drill down.

For instance, do you know the difference between a starting pitcher and a relief pitcher;

The man that throws the ball is called a pitcher. You have different kinds of pitchers – starting pitchers and relief pitchers. A starting pitcher will pitch for as long and and as well as he can. If he doesn’t have his stuff (all pitchers will tell you that they have stuff) and can’t finish the game, a relief pitcher is brought in.

There are various breeds of relief pitchers. You have long relievers and short relievers. The title refers not to their size but to the length of time that they pitch. After all, you have long relievers that are short and short relievers that are tall.

Or the difference between leftfield and the opposite field?

In the outfield, you have a right fielder, left fielder and center fielder. There is no opposite fielder. The three outfielders are expected to cover the opposite field - wherever that may be based on who’s at bat. You also have utility fielders and, no, there isn’t a utility field. A utility fielder can play both the infield and outfield, but not at the same time.

Or how a hitter (or batter) can hang in there?

A hitter can hang in there by fouling one off or fouling it upstairs. He can also foul it out of play, foul it back, chop it foul or pop it foul. Sometimes the ball just drops foul. There are times when a hitter will foul out. If a pitcher (starter or reliever, long or short) throws a spitter, you’ll see the hitter cry foul. The umpires, the men in dark suits who stand behind the bases and enforce the rules, take a lot of foul abuse from players and fans, who holler foul when they don’t agree with the umpire’s decision. Foul weather will cancel a game, putting everybody in a foul mood.

There's a lot to grasp in our national pastime, so, if you're sitting there with your sweetie, or going out with the gang after work, to catch a game, you don't want to come off as Miss South Carolina.

Have a little pride, get glove, get in the game, as they say.

Go read The Garlic's "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?"

It will save you from suffering a summer of ridicule.


Bonus Fungo Riffs

Politics and Sports Collide ...Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal ... Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone ... Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Mitchell Baseball Steroid Investigation Is Unlike CIA Torture Tapes Case

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Citigroup Keeping Stadium Sponsorship After Getting Government Bailout

You Don't Hit With Your Face

No. 2,000!

It's milestone day around here at The Garlic, today.

Post No. 2,000.

We were going to celebrate it with a really, hard-hitting, political cartoon, the type-of-thing, that wasn't really satire, but we'd say it was satire once people started complaining about it, but The New Yorker beat us to-the-punch.

What about raising a glass, filled with a good ol' American beer, like, say, Budweiser, but that went out-the-window.

I hadn't really been aware of it, until early last week, when posting and noticed the count, and said "Holy Cow!"

So, what to do for such an endeavor ...

What about taking our most popular post, comment on it, waxing it with an update?

Well, out of all those 2,000 posts, our post popular, based on views, search engines, etc, turned out to be this;

Hooters Applauds FDA Breast Implant Vote; Opens Doors For More Woman To Become 'Hooter Girls'

Okay, scratch that one ...

Along with generating a comment or two to "keep you day job", our satire did, on a few occasions, befuddle some people.

During the uprising in Burma, we posted this;

Breaking News! Burma Junta Contracting Blackwater For Internal Security; Could Mean Exit From Iraq For Embattled Mercenary Firm; Radio's Limbaugh Charges "Phony Monks" Stirring Up Trouble

Which generated a buzz, before it got clarified;

Your quotes come from a parody blog, meaning the statements concerning Blackwater being hired by Shwe and Rush Limbaugh calling Burmese protesters "phony" are false and completely made up for the purpose of satire.

Also, the post "Ahmadinejad “Sort Of An Islamic Lyndon LaRouche”; Said To Have Made Offer To Mexico; Ahmadinejad Claims Letter A Hoax, Cites Propaganda, Prelude To U.S. Invasion; Other World Leaders Received Similar Tomes; Mexico Offered Iran National Guard Deployed on Their Side of Border", generated a small fit on some rightwing blogs, in particular, this passage;

“This Bush you call President does nothing but lie,” declared a defiant Ahmadinejad during a 4-hour rally in Tehran, before an estimated crowd of 500,000. Later in his speech, Ahmadinejad charged that “Bush wrote the letter himself ... To prepare for his evil forces to invade our great country.”

Many of those gathered carried white envelopes, with the name “President Bush, White House, USA” scribbled in English on them. Iranian government officials worked their way through the throng, with large baskets, collecting the letters for mailing, to which Ahmadinejad exhorted the crowd with chants of “We will bury him with letters” and “Send Satan the Iranian truth”.

Regrettably, I can't find, or lost the email, of the comment thread, that had those hotheads steaming, and calling for a similar campaign, of good ol' American patriots writing letters back to Ahmadinejad.

Unfortunately, we don't generate such uproar every day, however, we endeavor, ever so mightily to such ends (you can take a scroll down the left column to view some of the highlights and favorite posts).

From when I started The Garlic, in late January, 2005, I had no clear vision as to ending up here, at post 2,000.

I was coming off the end of a dream, the crash and failure of my own business, that I saw as being the last job (a non-profit Jazz Festival and Jazz Education Outreach Program) I would ever have, and, along the way, the situation on the homefront has become more cumbersome with the Aunt I am caretaker to.

So, for many of these 2,000 posts, it was an escape, a hiding place, to sneak refuge in for a few hours and, hopefully, whether you are a longtime reader, have just recently stumbled on The Garlic, or only read it via the feeds, the hope is you have been entertained, perhaps, enlightened on occasion.

And, it's enough of a hook that you'll stick around for the next 2,000 ...

Lastly, a heartfelt tip-of-the-hat to folks like Barry Crimmins, Michael Stickings, Joe Gandelman, Steve Benen, Sean Collins, and a boatload of others, who have assisted, tagged, linked, promoted, pushed, or otherwise helped me along the way.

Peace!
JTD

Chopped Garlic: Tinfoil Hats, or Canaries In The Proverbial War Zone?

A funny thing happened on the way to democracy in Iraq ... And it could end up being called "Iran".

We've had the PetraeusReportPalooza, and the now spotlight-sharing AhmadinejadPalooza ... The Bush Grindhouse is asking for for more money than ever, to continue the war-making machine they are so wedded to ... The spineless Congress (Democrats in particular) cave, abandoning common sense, and the lessons of their errors in the build-up to the invasion and occupation of Iraq, with passing - supposedly a non-binding resolution, unless you've been paying attention to Senator Jim Webb - the chest-thumping Kyl-Lieberman Iran Amendment.

Transcripts surface showing The Commander Guy lying... Today, a new report offers that the Golden Boy General does admit that violence has increased in Iraq ...

And nobody seems to care ... Business-as-usual ... Keep going shopping

Well, a few people do seem to have their eyes on the ball.

One is the man who helped expose the lies of the Viet Nam War, Daniel Ellsberg, in a recent speech titled 'A Coup Has Occurred'.

The other is Juan Cole, looking at those Spanish transcripts and concluding "Transcript Reveals Impeachable Offenses by Bush Re: Iraq War".

Let us hope that Glen Greenwald, and his sources, have it right, with his post "The U.S. military's role in preventing the bombing of Iran".

Otherwise ...

Cue up Que Sera Sera...

Bonus Link

Seymour M. Hersh: Shifting Targets - The Administration’s plan for Iran.


Koppel On Discovery: Iran

Breaking News! Bush Reaching Out To Columbia University's Bollinger With Plum Position

Believes School President Can Be Asset In Sliming War Critics, Up-Front and Face-To-Face; Cheney Wants Him For More Iran Bashing

It appears that Columbia University Lee Bollinger's 15-minutes in the spotlight yesterday may land him in the White House.

Sources have told The Garlic that the Bush Grindhouse flocked to televisions, as Bollinger, face-to-face, with Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad sitting a few feet away, and exorcised his school's invited guest, with blistering, double-barreled shots, including "Let’s, then, be clear at the beginning, Mr. President you exhibit all the signs of a petty and cruel dictator."

So impressed was the Grindhouse staff, that Vice President Dick Cheney, furiously scribbling in the margin of a newspaper, quickly whipped out his cellphone, calling former White House Smearmeister Karl Rove, ordering him to turn on his television and watch Bollinger.

Cheney, according to some of the staffers interviewed, was already making moves to bring Bollinger into his Iran Study Group.

"The President," offered one West Wing staffer who was present, "had tears in his eyes."

A spontaneous burst of applause and shouts erupted when Bollinger hit Ahmadinejad again with;

"For the illiterate and ignorant, this is dangerous propaganda. When you come to a place like this, this makes you, quite simply, ridiculous. You are either brazenly provocative or astonishingly uneducated."

Our sources tell us that Chief of Staff Josh Bolten was the first to suggest bringing in Bollinger for a White House position.

Bolton was overheard saying to The Commander Guy that "he can slime our war critics, face-to-face ... Walk right up the hill and lay into them ... He's got a brass set balls on him ..."

"Boy, does he ...," The Decider Guy was said to respond to Bolten, adding that "he might just take the shine off of Turd Blossom's mantle ..."

And, according to our sources, when Bollinger ended his attack on Ahmadinejad with "I am only a professor, who is also a university president, and today I feel all the weight of the modern civilized world yearning to express the revulsion at what you stand for. I only wish I could do better," Bolten was already on the telephone to Columbia University, making arrangements for Bollinger to come down to Washington.

Reportedly, late into the evening, extra speech writers were ushered into the White House, to begin writing custom, individualized attacks on members of Congress, in preparation of Bollinger coming in and doing a read-through for The Commander Guy.

The White House officially refused comment on the report, and, when asked as she rushed into the White House, Homeland Security Advisor Fran Townsend offered "I didn't know there was a Columbia University."

More as this story develops

From the school house to the White House, Columbia University President Lee Bollinger is reportedly being tapped to become President Bush's new Smearmeister

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard During Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's Visit To Columbia University

News Item: Ahmadinejad, big man on campus; The Iranian leader's visit to Columbia provoked outcry, support and a twist on free speech: "We're glad you're here -- so we can tell you you're an asshole."

10. Is it me or does this guy have only one suit?

9. Look, over in the Media pool - Isn't that Bill Belichick? Is he videotaping Ahmadinejad?

8. What's the University of Florida Campus Police doing here?

7. I heard he was coming here to enroll

6. Someone said they saw Ahmadinejad talking with Isiah Thomas and then, a few minutes later, Ahmadinejad was walking around, practicing pronouncing the word "bitch"

5. I heard he was gay

4. Ahmadinejad? ... Isn't that, that Syrian apricot leather stuff?

3. I don't want to start anything, but I was just in the Mens Room and Ahmadinejad was in there, in a stall, furiously tapping his foot

2. Some said the Bill O'Reilly is going to take him to dinner ... That knows a great restaurant up in Harlem

1. Mr. President, I don't think it would be in our best interests to add Columbia University to the Axis of Evil List


Bonus Links

Dana Milbank: Live From New York, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's Unreality Show

Glenn Greenwald: Columbia to be punished for hosting the new Hitler enemy

Joe Gandelman: The Ahmadinejad Show: Less Horror Show And More Like Crossfire

I heard he was gay

Breaking News! Confusion, As Ahmadinejad Claims He's Enrolling In Columbia, Wants "Campus Life Experience"

State Department Says No Defection Or Asylum Requested; Levi's and Girls Gone Wild Videos Factor In Iranian President Decision

State Department officials are scrambling this morning, after reports surfaced that Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad made statements that he wasn't coming to speak at Columbia University, in New York City, but rather to enroll in the school.

Intercepted cables, which the government would neither confirm or deny were obtained via their illegal wiretapping program, and readings of the Iranian President's blog, as one State Department official close to the investigation characterized, that Ahmadinejad "longs for an American college campus life experience".

"He's obsessed with it," said the official. "All he talks about is wearing t-shirts and Levi's ... Hanging out in coffee shops ... And girls."

Reportedly, the Iranian President is a big fan of the 'Girls Gone Wild' videos and believes he's missing out on something. His desire to enter college, an American college, is the driving force to meet girls as depicted in the videos.

Ahmadinejad is said to be keen on "an Ivy League School", believing the girls he will meet will be "smarter and better breeders".

The Iranian President made no mention of his plans to enroll in Columbia during his '60-Minutes' interview broadcast last evening.

State Department officials say that Ahmadinejad has been working on this "for months", to coordinate the move with his trip to New York and General Assembly address at the United Nations.

It's not know when Ahmadinejad will formally ask for asylum, or even if he will. There are some indications, which officials won't divulge, that the Iranian President may simply just walk into Columbia University and enroll, without much fanfare.

Columbia University would offer no comment, however Dean John Coatsworth of Columbia's School of International and Public Affairs indicated, in an interview, that he would also admit Adolph Hitler, if the former Nazi Dictator applied for studies.

The university has refused to cancel the visit.

There is also unconfirmed reports that Ahmadinejad will be using his inflammatory rantings, such as the destruction of Israel, and his tirades against the United States as part of his admission essay, and is planning a double-major in Civics and Psychology.

There has been little to no news out of the Bush Grindhouse over this report of Ahmadinejad's plans, but sources have told The Garlic that, when apprised of the reports, Vice President Dick Cheney was livid.

"Hell, he can't do that," Cheney was reported to have fumed, as he was leaving to attend a meeting in Brooklyn, "It screws up all my plans."

More, as this story develops

Bonus Ahmadinejad Links

Daily Kos: Why I Have A Little Crush on Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

Ahmadinejad “Sort Of An Islamic Lyndon LaRouche”; Said To Have Made Offer To Mexico; Ahmadinejad Claims Letter A Hoax, Cites Propaganda, Prelude To U.S. Invasion; Other World Leaders Received Similar Tomes; Mexico Offered Iran National Guard Deployed on Their Side of Border


















The Garlic has obtained a rare photo of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, said to be practicing "The Wave", in anticipation of attending his first Columbia University football game after he enrolls in the school