Our Baseball Essay ... A Day Late, But We'll Explain Who's Playing Shortstop

For the second day, we offer one of our special essays, our letter-producing, much-heralded, all-you-need-to-know, "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?"



While, officially, the season began last evening (and what planet has a baseball season opener at night? Aim your rotten tomatoes at MLB and ESPN), the full slate begins today , in daylight, under afternoon sunshine (hopefully).

And, if you attended, or watched, last night's game, and felt like a polka-playing accordionist time-warp-thrusted into a discotheque, not understanding the game of baseball, not knowing the lingo, or positions, incumbent on being a member of the official fandom of "our national pastime", then you need our essay;

There are various breeds of relief pitchers. You have long relievers and short relievers. The title refers not to their size but to the length of time that they pitch. After all, you have long relievers that are short and short relievers that are tall.

Sometimes a relief pitcher will do so well (he’ll have his stuff) that he gets credit with the win.Other times (not having his stuff) he’ll get pinned with the loss. On some occasions, he’ll only get a save, with the win going to the starting pitcher who didn’t have his stuff and couldn’t finish the game, thus being relieved. It even happens that relief pitchers get relieved by other relief pitchers.

Don't worry, we cover all the other positions (including the "opposite field", and "utility fielder"), so after reading "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?", you can belly up to any bar and banter with the best of them.

And, no, "Who's on First."


Bonus B'Ball Riffs

Tomgram: Robert Lipsyte, Welcome to Fandora ...Root, Root, Root for the Owners… Is Baseball a Fading Allegory for the Fading American Way of Life?

The Savvy Girls of Summer

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal ...Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone ... Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA

Politics and Sports Collide ...Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

South Dakota Not Waiting, Bans All Home Runs ...MLB Mulling Changing Status Of Home Runs In Wake Of New Bonds Allegations

Top Ten Cloves: Things That Might Have Happened To Ted Williams' Head

You Don't Hit With Your Face

Play Ball! ... The Best Baseball Primer Is Here!

Yes, it's that time of year when The Garlic swings into Public Service mode, to educate the young'ins, nourish the nattering needy, and give you the blueprint for being able to sit down and watch a Major League Baseball game, not feeling as if, suddenly, the world began speaking Esperanto, and no one gave you the memo.



It's our triannual posting of "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?"

And, in fact, we can brag some, as, with only a little stretching, we can say that our Baseball Primer was endorsed by the now-sitting President of the United States;

Great piece! I’d like to ask if I can record ‘Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?’ for my next Spoken Word project?”

Barack Obama, Senator, U.S. Senate

And, it has crossed international boundaries;

Since I’ve been in a letter-writing mode lately, thought I’d drop you a note to say how much I enjoyed the baseball essay and how much I learned from it. Perhaps, someday, we’ll have the game over here (and with the stadium lights powered by our new nuclear energy!)

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran

What makes The Garlic's "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?", so good?

We drill down.

For instance, do you know the difference between a starting pitcher and a relief pitcher;

The man that throws the ball is called a pitcher. You have different kinds of pitchers – starting pitchers and relief pitchers. A starting pitcher will pitch for as long and and as well as he can. If he doesn’t have his stuff (all pitchers will tell you that they have stuff) and can’t finish the game, a relief pitcher is brought in.

There are various breeds of relief pitchers. You have long relievers and short relievers. The title refers not to their size but to the length of time that they pitch. After all, you have long relievers that are short and short relievers that are tall.

Or the difference between leftfield and the opposite field?

In the outfield, you have a right fielder, left fielder and center fielder. There is no opposite fielder. The three outfielders are expected to cover the opposite field - wherever that may be based on who’s at bat. You also have utility fielders and, no, there isn’t a utility field. A utility fielder can play both the infield and outfield, but not at the same time.

Or how a hitter (or batter) can hang in there?

A hitter can hang in there by fouling one off or fouling it upstairs. He can also foul it out of play, foul it back, chop it foul or pop it foul. Sometimes the ball just drops foul. There are times when a hitter will foul out. If a pitcher (starter or reliever, long or short) throws a spitter, you’ll see the hitter cry foul. The umpires, the men in dark suits who stand behind the bases and enforce the rules, take a lot of foul abuse from players and fans, who holler foul when they don’t agree with the umpire’s decision. Foul weather will cancel a game, putting everybody in a foul mood.

There's a lot to grasp in our national pastime, so, if you're sitting there with your sweetie, or going out with the gang after work, to catch a game, you don't want to come off as Miss South Carolina.

Have a little pride, get glove, get in the game, as they say.

Go read The Garlic's "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?"

It will save you from suffering a summer of ridicule.


Bonus Fungo Riffs

Politics and Sports Collide ...Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal ... Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone ... Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Mitchell Baseball Steroid Investigation Is Unlike CIA Torture Tapes Case

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Citigroup Keeping Stadium Sponsorship After Getting Government Bailout

You Don't Hit With Your Face

Good Read - Baseball's Greatest Scandal ... It Wasn't Steroids

The fact that "Manny gets to be Manny", and a whole bevy of today's other baseball players are tremendously rich fat cats is, to a large degree, possible, due to the efforts of one man.

Marvin Miller.

Peter Dreier and Kelly Candaele have a great post up - "Baseball's Greatest Scandal ... It Wasn't Steroids" (it appeared in The Nation, initially) - that's worth taking a few minutes to read.

Miller became the first director of the baseball players union, and soon, the word "collective bargaining" become as often used as "take me out to the ballgame".

Miller cut the chains and created free agency and every player since the early 1970's has benefited from it, or, at least, has the opportunity to do so.

With the Hall of Fame induction ceremonies yesterday, Miller, again was odd-man-out, being excluded of inclusion, less to do with the odds of such a thing, but more to the efforts of those that control baseball, and the Hall of Fame.

Many high-profile Hall of Fame players agree. Pitching great Tom Seaver said that Miller's exclusion is a "national disgrace." "Whether you agree or disagree, he was one individual who had as large a ramification as anybody on the history of the game," Seaver, a Hall of Famer, told the New York Times a few years ago. "If the Hall of Fame is an historical repository, he deserves to be there."

Hank Aaron wrote that "Miller should be in the Hall of Fame if the players have to break down the doors to get him in."

When he was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1999, legendary pitcher Nolan Ryan devoted part of his speech to paying tribute to Miller. Ryan reminded the audience that when he broke into the major leagues in 1966, he had to spend the winter months working at a gas station from 3 pm to 9 pm, while he wife worked at a local bookstore, to make ends meet. Because of Miller's efforts, Ryan said, "we brought that level up to where the players weren't put in that situation."

And, for good measure, Red Barber;

In 1992, the Hall of Fame broadcaster Red Barber said, "Marvin Miller, along with Babe Ruth and Jackie Robinson, is one of the two or three most important men in baseball history."

Check out "Baseball's Greatest Scandal ... It Wasn't Steroids", it's a good read


Bonus Links

Via award, O'Neil forever part of Hall; Inagural O'Neil award given to namesake, accepted by Morgan

Allen Barra: Players Need To Make Stand for Marvin Miller

Hal Bodley: It's time for Marvin Miller to get his Hall of Fame pass

Dave Zirin: Why Curt Flood Belongs in the Hall of Fame; An Interview with Marvin Miller

Don't Be A McCain ... Enjoy The All Star Game Tonight!

It's history tonight, the last Major League Baseball All Star game in old Yankee Stadium

Yes, we are performing our tri-annual public service, of assisting you in making your baseball viewing much more enjoyable.

You don't have to sit in front of your television set, like Stumblin' Bumblin' John McCain sits in front of a computer, scratching your head, waiting for someone to tell you what's going on (hopefully, unlike SB John, you do have the ability to turn the thing on).

All you have to do is to take a few minutes and read The Garlic's classic essay "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?".

Soon after, you'll be jabbering with the best of them ... You become a veritable Red Barber, or Ring Lardner, tossing out the baseball bon mots like your were born at home plate (and, you'll know from the essay, it's not really a "plate").

Not convinced?

Look at the impact of our "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?" has had on governments;

I have to back up the President here. We haven’t closed down the office that is hunting for Osama bin Laden.

After reading your very fine baseball piece (okay, we didn’t exactly read it; It got swept up in our Domestic Surveillance Program), we decided to shift Alec Station to Summer Hours, so they could catch more baseball games.

Sorry for any confusion

General Michael V. Hayden
Director, Central Intelligence Agency


I so much liked your story on American Baseball, I am going have copies printed and make it mandatory for passengers of our new Himalayan train service to read it (sorry I can’t let them go out on the Internet and look it up for themselves)

President Hu Jintao, China


Since I’ve been in a letter-writing mode lately, thought I’d drop you a note to say how much I enjoyed the baseball essay and how much I learned from it. Perhaps, someday, we’ll have the game over here (and with the stadium lights powered by our new nuclear energy!)

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran

Go read "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?" ... You'll be a star at the water cooler tomorrow morning ...


Bonus B-Ball Riffs

Weekend At Rogers'; Or The Dead Guy For The Mitchell Report

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Mitchell Baseball Steroid Investigation Is Unlike CIA Torture Tapes Case

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal; Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone; Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Fantasy Baseball Leagues Winning Supreme Court Case To Use Real Names

News Item: Fantasy baseball leagues can use real players' names, Supreme Court agrees

10. New line of replica Fantasy Baseball uniforms on the store shelves by mid-summer

9. Fantasy Baseball League can now start negotiating with ESPN, to broadcast fantasy games

8. Will follow real baseball and unretire No. 42 for a day in their Fantasy Baseball League

7. Real baseball players now getting deluged with emails, from Fantasy Baseballers, wanting more real information from them

6. Fantasy Baseball scouts now heading to Dominican Republic, and other areas, to scout out new, talented, Spanish-named players

5. The The Fantasy League Roger Clemens will end up having an affair with the Fantasy Country Western singer, Mindy McCready

4. Haven't figured out yet how to have Fantasy Parade, for Fantasy team that wins their Fantasy World Series

3. Opens up new areas of having fantasy players getting into steroids

2. That opens up having Fantasy George Mitchell Steroid Investigation (Well, actually, they can use the real one)

1. Many in Fantasy Baseball are taking last walk, or drive, as now, with ruling, they have absolutely no reason to leave house again


Bonus, Bonus

Special Essay - Play Ball! ... Batter Up! ... Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?

Garlic Coverage of Baseball Steroid Scandal

Top Ten Cloves: Potential Problems With Pro Video-Game League Championship Gaming Series

Weekend At Rogers'; Or The Dead Guy For The Mitchell Report

Poor Roger Clemens.

Fidgeting and fuming much of yesterday, at the Congressional hearing into Steroids in Baseball, or, the government-produced reality show based on The Mitchell Report, Roger Rocket still doesn't get it.

Oh, he's into his Lenny Bruce defense all the way.

Deny it ... They catch you in the act, deny it ... They catch you with a chicken, deny it.

But that's just a sideshow, a little theatrics for the home audience.

They've already voted him off the island.

Roger Rocket is the dead body for The Mitchell Report.

When you document, and pull in the former Senator from Maine to really put a glossy, embossed stamp on it, your dog-and-pony show, you gotta throw a body on it, you gotta have someone take the fall, so all the other dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds can feel good, feel like something was done, feel clean.

This doesn't infer sympathy for Roger Rocket.

Sure, he's one of the greatest ever, however, during his tenure in Boston, his arrogance went beyond the typical sports stars confidence trash talking ... Roger Rocket was packing, along with that fastball of his, a whole extra bullpen of arrogance.

There's a pox on baseball ... From Bud Selig & Co., to the team owners, managers, coaches, players and ballboys, they sold out the integrity of the game to see a few more homeruns, put a few more fat fannies in the seats, to sell a bit more official merchandise.

And yes, there are scores more names in The Mitchell Report, and likely hundreds more that didn't make the final draft, but Roger Rocket has been - and, at least the American League fans will appreciate this - the designated dead body for it.

Decades from now, Roger Rocket will be winning a chosen few a round of drinks, when the subject of old time baseball comes up, and the crowd struggles with their memories of The Mitchell Report, and wasn't that a big deal and didn't someone get thrown under the bus with it ... The roto-stat-geek in that crowd will be the one to remember the dead body ... The roto-stat-geek will be the one to come up with Rocket Roger's name


Bonus Roger Rocket Riffs

Dana Milbank: Bottom Feeders

NYT: Sports of The Times - Politicians Turn Steroid Hearing Into a Partisan Squabble

Boston Globe: Clemens is hit hard on the Hill; Pitcher leaves self vulnerable as he denies steroid use to skeptical lawmakers

Boston Globe: Steroid hearing play-by-play

NYT: Sports Business - Quite a Show, Offering Something New

And if you don't know anything about baseball ...

Special Essay - Play Ball! ... Batter Up! Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Mitchell Baseball Steroid Investigation Is Unlike CIA Torture Tapes Case

News Item: All-Star Roster Shows Up on Mitchell Report

10. Everyone is pretty sure that White House Council Harriet Meirs didn't know baseball players were taking steroids

9. So far, no one has asked current or former baseball executive to investigate CIA erasing torture tapes

8. No evidence - yet - White House told baseball players to take steroids

7. No record of Al Qaeda, or other terrorists, taking steroids

6. Rep. Jane Harman (D-CA) said she didn't write a letter to MLB, asking them to not let baseball players take steroids

5. No reports of Major League Baseball dragging their steroid users off to black site prisons in foreign countries

4. Brigadier General Thomas W. Hartmann not prepared to say if a terrorist hits a homerun, that it is, indeed, a homerun

3. No known videotape of baseball players, or terrorists, being "steroidboarded"

2. No memo found yet of President Bush telling baseball players to "leave no marks", so that, if there's no sign of steroid use, it didn't happen

1. Senator Kit Bond (R-MO) wouldn't be able to say that "Hitting a homerun is like swimming"

Juiced-Up Links

The Mitchell Report

TPM's Timeline of the CIA's Torture Tapes

The Mitchell Report - Highlights of the Mitchell Report, released Thursday

The Mitchell Report: Naming Names

Steroid Report Implicates Top Players

Clemens, Pettitte named in baseball steroid report

Mitchell report: Baseball slow to react to players' steroid use

Garlic Coverage of Baseball Steroid Scandal

If we were set up like a newspaper, think of this post as a sidebar story.

The Garlic has been at the forefront of the blogosphere with it's detailed coverage, the digging, the intrepid reporting, of baseball's steroid scandals - stories you won't find anywhere else.

Take them out for a spin and enjoy!

Bonds Indicted ... Let's Have A Barrypalooza!

Top Ten Cloves: How Barry Bonds Celebrated Breaking Hank Aaron's Homerun Record Last Night

Retro Garlic ... Bonds Bashing and Landis Landing ... In The Lab ... Again

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal; Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone; Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA

Politics and Sports Collide; Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

















Second Palmeiro Bombshell: Tests Positive For Cialis

IOC Dumps Baseball; Fewer HR's and Little Scandal Potential; New MLB Ban On Steroids Limits PR Effort of Games, IOC TV Time

Schumer, MLB Call For New Roberts Probe; No Records Found Of His Work As Umpire; May Have To Abstain From Potential Steroid Cases

Wheaties Official Breakfast Cereal; of MLB; Box To Feature Steroids; Drops Bombshell In Break From Tradition Established in 1934

More Steroid Hearings - The NFL Goes To Congress; McGwire Surprise Witness; Still Not Talking

And, if you are new to baseball, brush up with the best darn baseball primer on the World Wide Web!

Special Essay - Play Ball! ... Batter Up! - Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?

Bonds Indicted ... Let's Have A Barrypalooza!

That Barry Bonds was indicted the other day, it carried about as much surprise as Lorelai and Luke finally hooking up on 'The Gilmore Girls'.

You knew it was going to come, you could envision it and it became just a matter of waiting for the moment.

But much like the rest of the country, almost assuredly, the residents of Stars Hollow would be equally disgusted with Bonds, and even more so with Major League Baseball.

Commissioner Bud 'Find Me Some Sand So I Can Stick My Head In It" Selig, and the rest of MLB's brass don't have enough lives to pay for the disgrace of allowing the charade (McGwire, Sosa, Bonds, et all) of steroid-fueled homerun races for the puny gain of selling a few more tickets.

Myself, and hundreds-of-thousands of other fans won't wait for the other slipper (MLB's feebleness in this matter doesn't allow to call it a shoe) of the Mitchell Investigation to drop, nor for MLB to firmly plant the integrity flag, and ignore the official records books to recount with pride;

All-Time Home Runs - Hank Aaron 755
Single Season Home Runs - Roger Maris 61

And we will firmly root for the first steroid-growth-hormone-free players when and if they pass these marks.

So, as Keith Olbermann does introducing Oddball ... Let's play Barrypalooza!


What happens next for Bonds

Top Ten Cloves: How Barry Bonds Celebrated Breaking Hank Aaron's Homerun Record Last Night

Retro Garlic ... Bonds Bashing and Landis Landing ... In The Lab ... Again

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal; Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone; Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA

Politics and Sports Collide; Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

Wheaties Official Breakfast Cereal of MLB; Box To Feature Steroids; Drops Bombshell In Break From Tradition Established in 1934


















Hmmm ... That could have been a good story line ... Lorelai, to get Luke jealous starts dating a major league baseball player, while, unbeknownst to her, Rory, for the Yale Bulldog, is writing a major expose of steroids in baseball, naming her mother's new boyfriend ... That would be a Friday Night Dinner you wouldn't want to miss ...

It's MLB Playoff Time ... That Means Time For The Garlic Baseball Primer Essay

Editor's Note: New York Mets Fans ... You can click to another post

It's Major League Baseball Playoff Time! ... The beginning of the steps to the Fall Classic, the World Series

And it's become now, a public service for The Garlic.

So many have written, thanking The Garlic for enlightening them, not making feel like their sitting in the corner, wearing a dunce cap, while attending a baseball playoff party.

They've had no need to jump up and go to The Google, to look up what "He'll be taking in this situation" or trying to find the "Utility Field" that the "Utilityfielder" plays at. "He's working the count" will no longer be mystery.

Don't be anxious or lost any longer ... Just read The Garlic's legendary essay;

Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?

And here's some of the latest testimonials that have come in.

Dear Garlic;

You can pass on to your readers that I will be turning the Internet back on, only so we can keep track of the baseball playoffs ... Thanks for your essay ... I've been busy lately and it was a big help

Senior General Than Shwe
Union of Myanmar


Hey, Garlic;

Great article! ... I sure can tell you one thing, there aren't any phony players in the playoffs this year ...

Rush Limbaugh
Bloated Radio Talking Head

P.S. I'm rooting for whoever Media Matters is rooting against!


Dear The Garlic;

Thanks for the great baseball article ... I'm so glad the kids are with their father now ... I can have some piece-and-quiet, knock back a few beers while watching the games

Britney Spears
Singer?


Dear Garlic;

Man, I had the chance to read your baseball essay while I was waiting for my court appearance ... Really solid! ... I'm so glad I made bail so I can watch the playoffs on my big screen TV (Oops - Don't tell the Goldmans' or they'll be coming after me for it).

Peace
O.J. Simpson

Bonus B-Ball Links

Baseball Almanac: Post Season

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal; Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone; Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA

Politics and Sports Collide; Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

South Dakota Not Waiting, Bans All Home Runs; MLB Mulling Changing Status Of Home Runs In Wake Of New Bonds Allegations

Second Palmeiro Bombshell: Tests Positive For Cialis

Wheaties Official Breakfast Cereal of MLB; Box To Feature Steroids; Drops Bombshell In Break From Tradition Established in 1934

MLB All-Star Game ... Get Your Handy Baseball Primer, Right Here!

Don't be left out this evening.

Maybe you're hosting or attending a Major League Baseball All-Star Game party ... You'll be around hardcore fans and you know jack-shit about baseball ... You're nervous, fear-filled sweat pouring off you, like a Senator caught with a hooker...

No way can you work your Blackberry discreetly, searching through baseball sites or Googling the lingo, so you can be hip and flow with the conversation ...

Well, fear no more ...

Just read The Garlic's legendary essay;
Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?

You won't blurt out anything like "why don't they call it 4th base", or wonder the big deal between a starting pitcher and relief pitcher ... You learn the difference between "dugout" and "bullpen" ... Designated hitter and pinch hitter ... And why a battery in baseball has nothing to do with a perpetually-moving toy bunny, banging a drum ...

Get ready to enter the riveting and arcane world of baseball.

Here's just a small sampling of the testimonials that poured in.

“As you may know, I had to make a pretty big decision this past weekend and your baseball piece really helped chill me out and relax – Thanks!”
Katie Couric , NBC Today Show ... CBS Evening News


“While I enjoyed reading your ‘Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?’, I fear it could fuel an upswing in illegal immigration, unless this government starts protecting our borders.”
Lou Dobbs, CNN


Since I’ve been in a letter-writing mode lately, thought I’d drop you a note to say how much I enjoyed the baseball essay and how much I learned from it. Perhaps, someday, we’ll have the game over here (and with the stadium lights powered by our new nuclear energy!)

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
President of Iran

I am going to give you a scoop.

After recently reading your post “Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?” I just had to quit Rocketboom, so I could begin my new career in baseball right away!

Amanda Congdon
Former Internet News Star

Bonus Links

Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal; Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone; Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA
Politics and Sports Collide; Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush
South Dakota Not Waiting, Bans All Home Runs; MLB Mulling Changing Status Of Home Runs In Wake Of New Bonds Allegations
Second Palmeiro Bombshell: Tests Positive For Cialis
Wheaties Official Breakfast Cereal of MLB; Box To Feature Steroids; Drops Bombshell In Break From Tradition Established in 1934

Look No Further, Your Handy Baseball Primer

Ahhhh ... The smell of pine tar ... The roar of the crowd ...

Yes, it's back ... Baseball season is upon us and already, The Garlic has a scoop.

President Bush couldn't throw out the first pitch today, at the Washington Nationals home opener ... his arm was sore after tossing out those eight U.S. Attorneys.

While the rest of Washington is eyeballing and picking over the latest financials of the presidential candidates, the rest of America is sharpening their pencils, on the ready to record every twitch, movement, dropped fly, missed bunt and 6-4-3 double-play that takes place on the field of dreams around the country.

Don't be left out of the action (or, to get in the spirit of things, left in the on-deck circle). The Garlic today reprises one if its' most popular posts, and as Sonny Earl said, "the best darned baseball primer on the world wide web."

We present for your edification and enjoyment;

Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?

And boy, did we get letters

Look What They're Saying! Readers Write In On Baseball Piece

More Letters on The Garlic’s Baseball Piece: Look What They're Saying Redux!

More Letters on The Garlic’s Baseball Piece!

World Series Prompts More Baseball Letters

Other Garlic Baseball Riffs

Wheaties Official Breakfast Cereal of MLB; Box To Feature Steroids

With Red Sox and Yankees Bounced, MLB Postpones Playoffs

Iraqis Pause Vote Count To Celebrate Chisox Pennant

Iraq Pulls Late Switch On Voters; Will Follow Red Sox And Have Two Presidents

South Dakota Not Waiting, Bans All Home Runs

Politics and Sports Collide; Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone