This Is Going To Steam A Lot of Buns

I'm with Spencer Ackerman on this one;

No Hot Dogs For Iranian Regime Skullcrackers

This started out, at the beginning of the month;

A New Iran Overture, With Hot Dogs

SAN SALVADOR — Having sent the Iranian people a video greeting on their New Year, President Obama is now inviting them to help celebrate a quintessentially American holiday, the Fourth of July.

Last Friday, the State Department sent a cable to its embassies and consulates around the world notifying them that “they may invite representatives from the government of Iran” to their Independence Day celebrations — annual receptions that typically feature hot dogs, red-white-and-blue bunting and some perfunctory remarks about the founding fathers.

Then, following the rigged election, the protests, the murder of their citizens, the State Department has indicated that if still intends to fire-up the barbecue, and keep the Regime Thugs on the A-List;

There's no thought to rescinding the invitations to Iranian diplomats," State Department spokesman Ian Kelly told reporters.

"We have made a strategic decision to engage on a number of fronts with Iran," Kelly said. "We tried many years of isolation, and we're pursuing a different path now."

But he said it was not clear if Iranian diplomats had accepted the invitations.

Maybe those representing the Iranian Regime can bring some of their homeland games to the bash.

You know, things like the "three-legged-races", where they could have two Iranians, perhaps imprisoned protesters, with only three legs between the two ...

Or, "Bobbing for Apples", which, I might think, for the Iranian Regime, that this is just a variation of Waterboarding, only the players are kneeling, having the Royal Guards assisting them, holding their heads in the water, so they will have a better chance, presumably, of "snaring" one of the apples ...

I hope the State Department has balls, that, instead of "red-white-and-blue bunting", they hang "green-and-white".

Perhaps, invite those banned soccer players, as well.

"It's Now All of Iran!"

There's a great post on Juan Cole's Informed Comment, that is well worth reading.

We don't have Mousavi supporters, it's now all of Iran...

That they came to Azadi, a place where thirty years ago the Revolution pivoted towards victory was fitting, for as much as the election campaign had been about who best represented the revolutionary values of Iran, Islam, and the late Imam, the push and pull of the past few days between opposition and Ahmadinejad forces has been a struggle to lay claim to authenticity. Authenticity that lies in the imagined and lived past, places, and practices of the Islamic Republic. It is as if whomever can get to the important places and rituals first and stay there, hang onto them, will win. So at night, beginning at 9 pm, we hear shouts of "Allah Akbar!" from the rooftops, just like in the fall and winter of 1978-1979. We have marches to sacred spots like Azadi and appeals by all sides to the memory of Khomeini...

In the crowd there are families, young and old. One cannot help but notice the large presence of women of all ages. The typical daily life of the capital is out here together, the homes, sidewalks and boulevards abandoned for this shared space. There is word that the crowd is millions strong; we know that it stretches eastwards to Imam Hussein Square. It is an incredible occasion---by comparison the state-organized 200,000 strong anniversary march that takes place every February starts from around Ferdowsi Square, several kilometers closer in to Azadi.

[snip]

There are new signs as well. Written in English, "Where is My Vote?" (I can't help myself, the idea for an Al Gore-Mir Hossein Mousavi buddy film pops into my mind, "Dude, Where is My Vote?"). Another: 2 x 2 = 24 million, a play on the bogus economic measures touted by Ahmadinejad during the debates, now updated to reflect the equally dubious election results.

[snip]

As I have noted before, what is remarkable about the Mousavi and opposition marches is the orderly disorder. These are not rallies or events in the manner that we are accustomed to in the United States. There are no official Mousavi volunteers guiding the crowd to the designated rallying points, college interns filled with coffee and day-old pizza. The movement is self-directed. Mousavi had asked his supporters to march but to march respectfully, to not give any excuse for violence. The crowd is abiding. Along the nearly kilometer length of a basiji base, the cry goes up: Shoar nagoo! Don't shout slogans! Hands are up held up instead. It is quiet. Here and there a voice, unable to restrain itself, begins to scream "Allah Akbar! Allah Akbar!" He is met instantly with hisses and whistles---saket! saket! quiet! quiet!---and the voice falls silent again.

Todd Gitlin, over on TPMCafe calls the post "Reading Gatsby in Teheran"

There's some other significant news coming out, notably, McClatchy's "Iran's senior ayatollah slams election, confirming split", which Think Progress's Wonk Room also covers, in "Montazeri: ‘In This Day And Age, One Cannot Hide The Truth From The People’"

Andrew Sullivan has a bevy of good info on his site.

Robert Baer, the former CIA Operative, has "Khamenei on the Ropes?"

And, the United States is, in one small way, giving its' support, by way of the State Department wheeling-and-dealing with Twitter, to delay it's scheduled maintenance shutdown, so as the Iranian's could maintain communication;

Twitter maintained service during Iranian elections after US State Dept request ...Twitter, the social networking website, postponed a scheduled maintenance shutdown after a US State Department request that it keep publishing during the Iran election protests

State Department to Twitter: No Fail Whale for Iran

Lastly, Salon has "What they saw at the Green Revolution - A photographic record of the Iranian election and its aftermath, through Monday's bloody street protests", with the accompanying slideshow.

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream Embassy

It's getting so that the saga of this is becoming more-and-more comical, perhaps surpassing the Cary Grant-Myrna Loy classic we culled the title from ...

It's been called, due to first, the sprinklers not working, and also having pipes burst from the water pressure, a fire trap.

It' has gone (big surprise) tremendously over-budget.

It has had calls for it to be shut down.

And, there was also the mandatory call by Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, issuing an edict, in order to fill vacant positions, to State Department employees, that they would have to render service in Iraq.

We speak of the Bush Grindhouse's Xanadu ("cost: no man can say"), it's Winchester House, or, otherwise known as the U.S Embassy in Iraq.















The latest?

New US Embassy in Iraq Can't House All Its Workers

Baghdad - The new U.S. Embassy complex does not have enough fortified living quarters for hundreds of diplomats and other workers, who must remain temporarily in trailers without special rooftop protection against mortars and rockets, government officials have told The Associated Press.

Sorting out the housing crunch and funding could further delay moving all personnel into the compound until next year and exposes shortcomings in the planning for America's more than $700 million diplomatic hub in Iraq.

Hmmm ... Something tells me this could become a campaign issue ... In the 2012, or 2016 elections ...

Bonus "She's A Brick House" Riffs

The Guardian: One building that's been built on time and on budget in Iraq: America's fortress embassy ...Vatican-sized bomb-proof structure to cost £300m ...· Builders in Green Zone already insurgent targets

Tom Engelhardt: Imperial life in a brand-new city; What plans for a gigantic new U.S. Embassy in Iraq say about the Bush administration, the occupation of Iraq, and Americans themselves

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Your Newly Constructed Iraq Embassy Is Poorly Built

Hillary Camp Livid: - "They Look At His Passport, But Not Ours!"

Breaking News: Bias Charged; Hillary Wants Florida and Michigan To See Her Passport

Brushing aside the breaking news, that State Department employees breached the passport file of Senator Barack Obama, opening it., at least, on three, separate occasion, Howard Wolfson, Hillary Clinton's campaign manager, lambasted the media traveling with the candidate, claiming more bias.

"With the big wins in Texas and Ohio, the widening lead in Pennsylvania," Wolfson barked, clearly agitated, "Now, everyone is running off looking at his passport".

"Why wasn't Hillary's passport breached? ... Why wasn't Hillary's passport looked at?"

"They look at his passport, but not hers? ... It's just like the debates... I'd say something fishy is going on here."

Clinton, apparently still out campaigning as the news broke, quickly integrated the news into her stump speech, offering the voters of Florida and Michigan the opportunity to look at her passport.

"I don't want to see these voters, of two of our most largest, and significant states, being left out of seeing my passport ... That's just not fair."

Reports are still breaking, that three contract employees at the State Department opened and looked at the passport file of Barack Obama.

The dates of the breaches are January 9th, February 21st and recently, on March 14th.

Josh Marshall, from TPM, notes that the dates coincide with "the day after the New Hampshire primary, the day of the Democratic debate in Texas and the day the Wright story really hit."

The Senate office of Obama was notified this afternoon of the breaches.

Two of the contract employees were fired, the third suspended.

It's not clear when Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice became aware of the security infractions.

Sources tell The Garlic that Secretary Rice was exercising on her elliptical trainer when she first learned of the problem.

Another source contacted The Garlic, indicating they worked in the State Department and stated they were surprised this news didn't come out sooner.

"Half the department had his [Obama] passport up as a screensaver," said the State Department source.

"If we worked late, we played drinking games with it ... You had to name the date and country he visited, and if you got it wrong, you chugged."

More as this story develops


Bonus Links

Attytood - UPDATED: Breaking Obama passport scandal

Pale Rider - Blue Girl/Red State: Obama's Passport File ALREADY Searched by GOP

Hilzoy - Obsidian Wings: This, On The Other Hand, Is Serious

Jeff Fecke/Shakesville: I am So Surprised...Not

Brilliant at Breakfast: You aren't paranoid if they really are out to get you

Hillary's Smelling Burning Rubber! Or: The Garlic Was Right - Hillary Has Built Her "Field of Voices"

Retro Garlic ... Maybe The Next President Needs To Pull Out The Contractors First

It's truly appalling that this situation has occurred, and continues to exist.

Jamie Leigh Jones, the former Halliburton/KBR employee who was gang-raped in Iraq - by her fellow coworkers and contractors - testified yesterday in Congress, as she pursues justice in the case.

Jones told the committee "that she was not aware that when she signed her employment contract, she was effectively signing away her right to bring a lawsuit."

The New York Times has noticed the story today, offering;

"KBR and other companies, meanwhile, have required Iraq-bound employees to agree to take personnel disputes to private arbitration rather than sue the companies in American courts. The companies have repeatedly challenged arbitration claims of sexual assault or harassment brought by women who served in Iraq, raising fears among some women about going public with their claims."

And dday, over on Hullabaloo has Raped And In Legal Limbo, telling the story of Mary Beth Kineston and her sexual harassment and assault, as well as Jones' case;

"Mary Beth Kineston is not the only woman. According to former Halliburton employee and gang-rape victim Jennifer Leigh Jones, 38 women have told their stories of rape and assault to her, but none can come forward due to arbitration agreements"

The Retro Part

Last December, The Garlic took note of the story, in "Along With Shooting Innocent Civilians, We've, Apparently, Outsourced Rape, As Well";

As reported by ABC's Brian Ross (along with Maddy Sauer and Justin Rood), Jamie Leigh Jones, of Houston, was a KBR employee, at the time KBR was a subsidiary of Halliburton, working in Iraq - in the Green Zone - when she was gang-raped by her own co-workers.

And before you think that was the only horrible incident that occurred;

"...The company put her under guard in a shipping container with a bed and warned her that if she left Iraq for medical treatment, she'd be out of a job.

"Don't plan on working back in Iraq. There won't be a position here, and there won't be a position in Houston," Jones says she was told.

With this situation languishing, and woman being abused and assaulted, where is the outrage from our government, and in particular Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice?

And I do not frame this in a gender box.

Rice, and her State Department saw to it, and pretty quickly, that other contractors - Blackwater - got legal immunity, after their employees shot and killed 17 innocent Iraqi civilians.

If Rice can protect the hired guns, why isn't she moving heaven-and-earth to see to it that the female contractors are not abused and assaulted?

Maybe some enterprising journalist can ask the Secretary this in her next press conference.

And, perhaps, the first thing Barack Obama, or Hillary Clinton, if and when they are elected President, should make pulling all the contractors out of Iraq first - or, at minimum, see to it that the female contractors can perform their jobs and earn their livings without being subjected to horrifying abuse.


















No Madam Secretary, it's thumbs down for you, until you begin protecting the female contractors working in Iraq!

Does He Get A New Girlfriend With This Job Too? ... Does The Job "Pay For Itself?

Maybe it's the clarion call of his old colleague, Donald Rumsfeld, that tugs at his heartstrings of public service.

Wolfowitz Returns to U.S. Government as Adviser

As we said when the job offer was reported in December, the board meets quarterly to provide advice to the secretary of state and one of her deputies based on classified intelligence on some of the most important issues in United States foreign policy today, from Iran to North Korea."

Egad!

The Wolf Man, back, prowling the corridors of State.

Hmmm, Rumsfeld calling for a new Propaganda Agency... Wolfowitz, back at the State Department, advising, among other things, on Iran ...

Do we smell a build-up here? ... Get the old team together, for the final run down the stretch, putting their considerable prevarication skills to use for a push into Iran?

Does the girlfriend get a gig too?

Are we gearing up to go after the Filipino Monkey?

Will we soon here the rhetoric, from the Wolf Man, or, perhaps the Madam Secretary herself, that a preemptive, offensive entry into Iran will "pay for itself"?

From The Lede, back in December;

"Another official called the reported appointment “amazing.” That comment alluded to Mr. Wolfowitz’s staunch support for the Iraq War when he was deputy secretary of defense under President George W. Bush. He hasn’t won much good will since then, either during a relatively quick rise and fall as World Bank president, or in his current post at a conservative think tank in Washington.

But if nothing else, Mr. Wolfowitz really needs no introduction, especially to his detractors on the blogs, who are a puzzled, angry lot today:

The Next Hurrah: “Condi, is it a coincidence that so many people responsible for gaming the intelligence to get us into Iraq are on your advisory board?”

The Brad Blog: “In Bushworld, incompetence must be rewarded.”

Arms Control Wonk: “Andrew Sullivan has a better line than I can muster.”

Andrew Sullivan: “He’s advising Condi on WMDs. Curveball wasn’t available?”

So far, The Lede has not turned up any bloggers weighing in to support Mr. Wolfowitz."

On the downside, with the protracted, ugly, almost never-ending saga of his resignation from The World Bank, will the next President be able to get him out of this position?

Stay tuned Wolf Fans, this one is surely to be a ever-giving gift!


Bonus Wolfie Whoppers

Yes, Wolfie, People Will Be Talking, For Years, About You ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

Larisa Alexandrovna - Scott Ritter: Neocons as Parasites

"Hillary 1984" Video Blogger Takes On Wolfowitz

Andrew Cockburn: The Puppet Who Cleared the Way for Iraq's Destruction

Developing Story! White House Giving World Bank, Wolfowitz Green Light To Blame McNulty; New Strategy Of Leveraging Scandals; Cheney Says Embattled Hero "Definitely In Final Throes" At World Bank















Yeah, it's a head-scratcher to us, too, Wolfie ...

The Garlic's Weekly Poll Is Back!

Well, Well, Well ... We have our Garlic Poll back up-and-running ...

Lo siento for the delay ... While there has been (and continue to be) some minor technical glitches, and my non-blogging time has been a bit burdened lately, that's still no excuse for being so remiss in letting it lag ... Again, my apologies ...

We're back with a good one this week.

While other events take center stage, the Bush Grindhouse is out legacy shopping again, so weigh in with your vote.

And, for the handful of diehard poll fans, here are the results of the last two polls.

This years' National Thanksgiving Turkey should ...

1. Look up at the President and ask who really is the turkey in the room Tally 65%

2. Make sure it gets a pardon, and not a commutation Tally 21%

3. Stay as far away from Dick Cheney as possible Tally 7%

4. Run around, making a lot of noise, claiming its been tortured Tally 7%


If Condi Rice is having trouble managing the Dept. of State, she should ...

1. See about ordering the book ''State Department for Dummies'' Tally 59%

2. Ask the President if she can talk to his Higher Father for some advice Tally 21%

3. Volunteer herself for one of the posts in Iraq Tally 10%

4. Sell rights to Donald Trump for new show ''State Department Apprentice'' Tally 10%


This week’s Poll - President Bush's sudden attention to a Middle East Peace Plan likely has to do with ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Along With Shooting Innocent Civilians, We've, Apparently, Outsourced Rape, As Well

When I first saw this article, I did a double-take.

It is a harrowing, sick, awful story, redeemed only by the courage of the victim to fight back, against our own Government.

As reported by ABC's Brian Ross (along with Maddy Sauer and Justin Rood), Jamie Leigh Jones, of Houston, was a KBR employee, at the time KBR was a subsidiary of Halliburton, working in Iraq - in the Green Zone - when she was gang-raped by her own co-workers.

And before you think that was the only horrible incident that occurred;

"...The company put her under guard in a shipping container with a bed and warned her that if she left Iraq for medical treatment, she'd be out of a job.

"Don't plan on working back in Iraq. There won't be a position here, and there won't be a position in Houston," Jones says she was told.

And it still gets worse.

"According to her lawsuit, Jones was raped by "several attackers who first drugged her, then repeatedly raped and injured her, both physically and emotionally."

Jones told ABCNews.com that an examination by Army doctors showed she had been raped "both vaginally and anally," but that the rape kit disappeared after it was handed over to KBR security officers.

Much like they did when Blackwater USA mercenaries shot and killed 17 Iraqis, has Condoleeza Rice and the State Department given her rapists immunity?

And people criticized the career diplomats who balked at being consigned to serve at the still-a-disaster U.S. Embassy in Iraq?

Shut this nightmare down!

And put out the good vibes for Ms. Jones, that she can successfully, working against the stacked deck at the hands of our own government, can beat the odds and bring all these cretin bastards to justice.

Links

Victim: Gang-Rape Cover-Up by U.S., Halliburton/KBR

Shakespeare's Sister: Nobody Could Have Predicted Halliburton Was Pro-Rape

The Condoleezza Rice Ballroom Dancing & Charm School; Or: Shopping For A Legacy on Cyber Monday


















What do you say there, Madam Secretary? Will you see that justice prevails here? Will you help harbor Ms. Jones from her own, very painfully personal mushroom cloud?

Oh No, We Have To ... Another "I'm Shocked, Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here!"

As Steve Benen, over at The Carpetbagger Report asks (rhetorically) "Where does the Bush gang find these guys? Hacks ‘R Us?"

Our "Shocked, Shocked" recipient today is none other than State Department Inspector General Howard L. (Cookie) Krongard, who came oh-so-close yesterday of jumping the shark, nearly denying he even had a brother.

Actually, it ended up playing out more like the old SNL bit - "It's a floor wax and a dessert topping" - with Krongard finally fessing up that "Yes he's my brother and he's on the Blackwater board".

Appearing before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee yesterday, who is looking into Krongard's possible criminal conduct regarding - and here's the "Shocked, Shocked" part - of burying/stonewalling/looking the other way (we're flexible, you call it what you want) investigations into Blackwater, for gun smuggling and, just how they got their golden egg contracts over in Iraq.

The sibling tango began when Krongard was hit with the info, surprise, surprise, that his brother - the former CIA official Alvin B. "Buzzy" Krongard - is currently a member of the Blackwater Worldwide advisory board.

After volleying (okay squirming) denials, Krongard finally broke down into the Chinatown scene, with the committee slapping him around and Krongard blubbering yes "he's Blackwater and my brother!"

The high drama continued to play out late in the day, when Brother Buzzy told TPMmuckraker, about Brother Cookie; "I told him I was going on this board. He claims I didn't tell him," Buzzy Krongard says. "So what can I tell you?"

And lest you think Cookie chills out after hours, check out Barry Crimmins and "It's Just Krong", which details "Think of it, the Inspector General, a man who is supposed to be beyond reproach, has been caught shaking down his own children!"

Sign these guys up for a reality show, they'll make the Osbournes look like The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet.

Linkfest Below

Stay tuned on this one. This could play out, in the Bush Grindhouse Hall of Fame, of polishing Michael "Heck-of-a-job" Brown's apple - at least Brownie didn't have an Inspector General brother who's about as straight as a corkscrew.

Bonus Cookie and Buzzy Links

Crooks and Liars - Countdown: Blood Is Thicker Than Blackwater

Think Progress: ‘Buzzy’ Krongard contradicts brother’s testimony.

TPMmuckraker: Krongard Recuses Himself from Blackwater Investigations

FBI Concludes Blackwater Killings Unjustified

Other "I'm Shocked, Shocked To Find Gambling Going On Here" On The Garlic

In The Glass-Half-Full Thing, Good News, Foreign Diplomats, You Now Have Choices ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Oh, it would have been so rich to watch ...

Mr. Viceroy ... The Ambassador Extraordinaire, L. Paul Bremer, taking the controls, yet again ... Would he have followed the same script, same plans, and thoroughly tear apart Pakistan, as he did in Iraq? ...

We'll never know (well, we shouldn't say that just yet), because the Bush Grindhouse hasn't done very much as it's template for democracy - Pakistan - is currently in meltdown.

Some very light lip service about "get your shit together" and no slowdown, apparently, on stuffing Musharraf's pockets with money.

But, we digress,

The voters of The Garlic's Weekly Poll showed some darn, heart-tugging patriotism this past week, showing they want to pitch in and contribute.

They voted for giving the Foreign Diplomats of our State Department a glass-half-full, optimistic choice for their service.

Pretty darn nice of them, don't you think?

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll November 3 - November 11, 2007

Bush and Cheney's first instincts after hearing the news in Pakistan were ...

1. Solve State Dept. problem - Diplomats now have a choice - Iraq or Pakistan Tally 34%

2. Check with L. Paul Bremer to see if he was up for ruining another country Tally 30%

3. Quickly get Cheney booked on MTP, to immediately start blaming Iran Tally 23%

4. Start packaging a supply of waterboards to send to Musharraf Tally 13%

This week’s Poll - If Condi Rice is having trouble managing the Department of State, she should ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote


Bonus Glass Half Full Links

Pete Moore/Salon: The secret Iraq documents my 8-year-old found

Juan Cole: Time to Close the US Embassy

All You New Iraq Diplomats, Don't Forget To Pack Your Brooms

Mr. Viceroy ... The Ambassador Extraordinaire

Retro, Retro ... U.S. Foreign Policy Spikes Upward - Karen Hughes Resigning!

I think this is a first for The Garlic.

We are Retro Garlicing a Retro Garlic.

It was only three-weeks ago that we offered the first Karen Hughes Retro Garlic, back on October 11th. It was Sidney Blumenthal's "An open letter to Karen Hughes" in Salon that prompted us to take a look back at our under-achieving , Under Secretary of State for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs.

And today comes the news that this globe-trotting diplomat, sprinkling the good word on the USA to lands afar, will be leaving her post in December, with our National Tupperware Lady returning home to Texas.

If the disastrous U.S. Foreign Policy was a publicly-traded stock, there'd be a huge spike upward today, with all the talking heads on the financial news shows bubbling with this great fortune ... A red-letter day!

However, as in real life, when one stock goes up, another goes down, so, quick, sell-off your "Government-by-Cronies" stock, pronto!

Karen Hughes Red-Letter Day Links

Think Progress - BREAKING: Karen Hughes resigns.

ZappoDave/Daily Kos - Broken: Karen Hughes Gone

CNN - Hughes to exit State Department

Retro Garlic: Karen Hughes, Our National Tupperware Lady

Condi's going to miss the Tupperware parties

All You New Iraq Diplomats, Don't Forget To Pack Your Brooms

We haven't followed up with the State Department on how our predictions offered last Saturday fared, but we have to add a new one today.

For all you diplomats being forced to serve over in Iraq, you're now going to have to carry some extra luggage;

Brooms

And your first duty will be to continue to sweep the Blackwater killing of 17 Iraqi citizens under the rug (and not any of those bargain ones that Lindsey Graham picked up).

Yet another sterling gem in the Bush Legacy.

It seems, by the news of the morning, the investigation into the Blackwater shooters have been stymied BECAUSE THE STATE DEPARTMENT OFFERED THEM IMMUNITY!

Holy tainted evidence, Batman!

Now, we already know that Bush's Work Wife, Condi Rice, has trouble remembering meetings... But you think, when she was before Congress last week- talking about contractors in Iraq - she could have, at least, hinted about the deal.

Why doesn't The Commander Guy just go on national television, hold up, and show the country, the "Pass Go, Collect $200 Million Dollars" card he gave Erik Prince and Blackwater and we can all get on to other business.

We joked before on how the Bush Iraq Policy was turning from Keystone Cops, to the Marx Brothers... Who Knew!

And Now We Come To The Sanity Clause

The Greek Chorus

FireDogLake: Guess Who Has Immunity Now?

Think Progress: State Dept. Granted Disgraced Blackwater Guards Immunity After Shootings

The Carpetbagger Report: Bush admin. promised immunity to Blackwater

Truthout/AP: Immunity Deal Hampers Blackwater Inquiry

Garlic Exclusive: Evidence of Bush giving Condi Rice the sweetheart kiss she was to pass on to Blackwater

And In The Prediction Department ...

This morning, The Garlic takes a bold, previously-untaken step, in offering three predictions for Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

1. There's likely to be a large number of your employees calling in sick on Monday

2. Expect mass resignations in the very near future

3. Buy earplugs, so you can muffle the plaintive cries of "Help Me Mr. Wizard!"

What prompts this polishing of the old crystal ball? Has the spirit of Jean Dixon cracked through a few of those cloves?

It was the news - alarming news if you happen to work for the State Department - in this mornings' Washington Post;

State Dept. To Order Diplomats To Iraq; As Many as 50 Positions Are Expected to Be Open

And it carried this ominous gem;

On Monday, 200 to 300 employees will be notified of their selection as "prime candidates" for 50 open positions in Iraq, said Harry K. Thomas, director general of the Foreign Service. Some are expected to respond by volunteering, he said. However, if an insufficient number volunteers by Nov. 12, a department panel will determine which ones will be ordered to report to the Baghdad embassy next summer.

"Ordered to report to the Baghdad embassy ..."

You mean the Baghdad embassy that been in the news lately?

The one with poor workmanship and that is running over budget and delayed?

But wait a minute, they're dangling a few carrots for you;

Those who are ordered to Baghdad as part of the new call-up will receive incentives, known as the Iraq Service Package, already offered to volunteers. It includes additional pay of about 70 percent for most mid-level officers, plus another 20 percent of basic salary to compensate for long hours. Officers are not allowed to take their families to Baghdad, but the package allows them to leave spouses and children in whatever post they transfer from for the length of their tour, or to send them back to Washington.

U.S. diplomats in Baghdad are given five "rest and relaxation" breaks during the year, including up to three of them in the United States, for a total of 60 days outside Iraq. Those completing a Baghdad tour are also given preference in choosing their next assignment."

Well, they probably did tell you, either in the interview, or when you first came to work at State, that you could end up in an exciting and exotic location.

Could be worse - you could have been assigned to the team that is pretending to be conducting diplomacy with Iran.

In any case, Buena Suerta, Baby! ... You're gonna need it.

Bonus Condi Riffs

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Your Newly Constructed Iraq Embassy Is Poorly Built

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Condoleezza Rice Becoming NFL Commissioner

New Liz Cheney Op-Ed!

Our Girl Condi Gets A Theme Song - Neocons and Lovers


If Condi says so, a lot of new State Dept. boots will be walking around in Baghdad

Condi! Whose Cup Are You Drinking From Lately?

Power comes from lying ... Lying big and getting the whole damn world to play along with you ... Once you got everybody agreeing with what they know in their hearts ain't true, you get them by the balls

Senator Roark, from “Sin City - That Yellow Bastard”

Just curious there, piano girl, but do you ever see yourself on television? Do you review your public statements, so, theoretically, you don't go out the next time and put your knee-high-booted foot in your mouth?

I ask, you see, due to you, our Nanny of State, last week, while in Russia, chastized the Russian government, and its' leader, Vladimir Putin, over what appears to be a consolidation of power;

"In any country, if you don't have countervailing institutions, the power of any one president is problematic for democratic development," Rice told reporters after meeting with human-rights activists.

"I think there is too much concentration of power in the Kremlin. I have told the Russians that. Everybody has doubts about the full independence of the judiciary. There are clearly questions about the independence of the electronic media and there are, I think, questions about the strength of the Duma," said Rice, referring to the Russian parliament."

First off, when did the memo go out that Russia was a beacon of democracy?

Are they going with an a la carte democracy, or did they buy the Starter Kit, complete with a ready-to-go Constitution and a bonus set of "Mission Accomplished" banners?

And, if they are installing the Bush-Style Democracy, they shouldn’t have any problems complying with their FISA Act, being, if it takes a week to make a phone call, there's plenty of time to get down to the courts for the warrants.

Secondly, and here you have the boatload of irony, did it occur to you there Missy ... Well, better asked ... Is not having countervailing institutions and "the power of any one president" a problem for already-established democracies?

I'm surprised Putin didn't laugh in your face and shoot back - "You, mean, like in your country!"

We know that our Nanny of State has been out of the limelight for some time (although, Barry Crimmins has the scoop that she was "found by the BBC"), so maybe you've got, I don't know, a Vitamin D deficiency, or something, going on ...

I mean, there's the above lulu (almost as good as when here work husband, The Commander Guy, uttered, with similar straight face "I'm aware of the fact that perhaps somebody in the administration did disclose the name of that person ...") and there's the one last month, when you equated Zarqawi To Ulysses S. Grant And Robert E. Lee ...

Whose cup are you drinking from down there?

Is it the pressure of being husband-less? ... The new rumors on your lifestyle? ... Still steamed about the Pope blowing you off?

I don't know, with you now running off to the Middle East, you might be tempted to try to kick-start a late-second-term-facing-saving-Mid-East-Peace-Plan that calls for ... I don't know ... Something like the Palestinians to have their own state...

Oops!

Bonus Condi Girl Links

Michael J.W. Stickings/The Reaction: Headline of the Day (Condi Rice edition)

Glenn Kessler/Washington Post: Transformed By Her Bond With Bush; Rice's Loyalty Brings Power and Pitfalls

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Condoleezza Rice Becoming NFL Commissioner

Our Girl Condi Gets A Theme Song - Neocons and Lovers

Retro Garlic: Karen Hughes, Our National Tupperware Lady

Well, Well, Well ... Our soccer-Mom-loving, globe-trotting, Undersecretary of State for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs, Karen Hughes, is getting some much-deserved attention today.

Sidney Blumenthal, over on Salon, penned "An open letter to Karen Hughes", urging Ms. Hughes about "Your duty is to defend America's reputation in the world. To do so, you must persuade the Bush administration to renounce its abhorrent and hypocritical policy on torture."

The letter is an invitation to Hughes, to attend the opening of a new documentary, "Taxi to the Dark Side", which Blumenthal tells our intrepid diplomat "The film has been described by the New York Times as "a meticulous examination of American policy on the interrogation of prisoners. It traces the scandals at Abu Ghraib and elsewhere to official changes of policy originating in the vice president's office and approved by the secretary of defense. We see documents listing approved methods of interrogation, including waterboarding, which simulates drowning."

Then he explains;

Your complicity in the torture policy is one reason that I am writing you. Despite the futility of those inside the administration in bringing the problem to you, you still remain in place to redress it. As the undersecretary of state for public diplomacy, responsible for defending America's reputation in the world, you must engage the issue that has most seriously damaged our image. Your obligation will continue so long as you hold your post. Those who care about the good name of the United States will not cease viewing you as a last resort, even if you disdain or ignore them, because they cling to the desperate hope that a nagging conscience or its sudden awakening will compel you actually to do your job.

And, he compliments Hughes on getting her crony position;

The genius of your appointment is that the president and his advisors understood ahead of time that they would need your services to repair the nation's reputation. After all, this position has never existed before; and it has never been so drastically needed. While it is true that there have been organizations within the government, such as U.S. Information Agency, under directors such as Edward R. Murrow and John Chancellor, that built libraries and conducted international educational exchanges, the idea of a public diplomacy czar is novel. Having someone to paper over the country's mistakes by telling people what they should think despite the reality would in the past have been considered undemocratic. Form and content, it would have been said, needed to complement each other. But your position is one in which form and content (words and deeds) stand in opposition to each other. Ironically, therefore, your job has never been more important than now.

Then, some parting advice;

While you are rethinking how to calm fears and rebuild America's image as a global leader perhaps you ought to begin to think of yourself not as a tool of the Bush administration but as a citizen of the world, not as a propagandist, constantly trying to formulate a hollow ideological phrase or distraction, but as someone who can admit mistakes and correct them.

If you receive this letter as simply a partisan broadside and can't envision your transformation into a true diplomat at large, an envoy of healing, perhaps you should just resign. Nothing will be served by continuing on your current course. Nothing different will happen. You might as well return to Texas now. To date, your diplomacy has consisted of excuses for leaving the damage to the next president to remedy.

The Retro Part

The Garlic also noted Ms. Hughes rise to power, from Bush aide to Undersecretary of State for Public Diplomacy, shortly after we launched, in which one Arab League official offered "When America starts talking about planting the seeds of democracy, that's usually our sign to start building our bomb shelters";

Bush Appointment Has Mid-East Fearful With New Hughes Role

Then, a few months later, after she was confirmed, we got the real scoop on her work;

Hughes Makes Official Debut With Mid-East Jaunt; Fall Tupperware Line Just In; Says Flood Victims could have "saved heirlooms"

Karen Hughes, Our National Tupperware Lady!

Bonus Karen Crony Links

Juliette Kayyem: Karen of Arabia

The Moderate Voice: Ripken Diplomacy

The Belgravia Dispatch: Great Moments in Public Diplomacy

Fred Kaplan: Karen Hughes, Stay Home!; What on earth is she doing in the Middle East?