The Sweet Smell of Success

No, not the awesome movie.

It appears that the Pentagon has adopted the Hillary Clinton Campaign strategy, of, well, making up the benchmark of success as you go along.

Exhibit A - Pentagon says new Iraq fighting arises from surge's success

The Pentagon on Wednesday said an eruption of violence in southern Iraq, where US-backed government forces were battling Shiite militias, was a "by-product of the success of the surge."

Pentagon press secretary Geoff Morrell said it showed that the Iraqi government and security forces were now confident enough to take the initiative against Shiite extremists in the southern port of Basra.

Morrell, however, disputed suggestions that the fighting showed the risks of drawing down US "surge" forces.

"This has just begun this week," he said. "But I think at this early stage, it looks as though it is a by-product of the success of the surge," referring to the sharp hike in US troops in Iraq from earlier last year to quell violence.

"I think they would tell you just the opposite: that this is a sign that the Iraqi security forces are now capable of confronting, fundamentally, their problems," he said.

Got that?

Silly us.

We believed, as we were told, by The Commander Guy himself, that the Bush Grindhouse Surge Policy was to end the violence and give the Iraqi Government the time and space to get their business done.

Now it comes out, that it was merely a confidence-building exercise.

We just had to be patient, so the Iraqi Security forces were "capable of confronting, fundamentally, their problems."

And, the biggest surprise of all, the the Surge was really designed to increase the violence, to turn the dial up!

Brandon Frasier, over on VetVoice was knocked out by it;

"That's some impressive spin, if you ask me. Takes balls to get up there in front of the media--and the world for that matter--and tell everyone that the conflagration we're on the verge of witnessing is due to how awesome we are."

Michael Stickings, at The Reaction, says it's a sign that "Iraq returns to "normal".

The only thing left now is to wait for John McCain to ride in, and explain to us who was training who for this.


Bonus Bush Grindhouse Riffs

Flutie Sends "Cease-and-Desist" Letter To Media Over 'Hail Mary' References Regarding Surge; Diminutive QB Longtime Copyright Holder; "It Still Feeds My Family"; Says Open To Negotiate On Usage

Breaking News! Analyst: President May Soon Need To Deny He Has Troops In Iraq; White House Plunges Into New Iraq Strategy; Moving From ‘Keystone Cops’ To ‘Marx Brothers’; Denials Of “Stay The Course” Signal Major Shift; Possible Complete Erasing Of Iraq May Come In Time For MidTerms

Breaking News! With DisneyBaghdad, Bush Says “Nobody Wins Hearts and Minds Better Than Disney; Disney, With Secret Contract, Working With White House, Military On Building Baghdad Moats; ‘Pirates of the Caliphate’, Other Attractions To Mask Security Measures; State Dept. Touts “DisneyBaghdad Will Pay For Itself”

Top Ten Cloves: Difficulties DC Comics' Batman May Have Fighting Osama bin Laden

Photo Op Accomplished - Hooah!

Sans the flightsuit and aircraft carrier deck landing ...

While the Bush Grindhouse billed this as a "stop-by" for The Commander Guy, on his way to an economic conference in Australia, it was anything but ...

It was the continued roll out of the "Petraeus Reportpalooza", complete with the soldier-in-uniform backdrops, with the well-timed "Hooahs" to urge this charade on ...

We've already had, over the past few weeks and months, the steady stream of Congressional Delegations coming over to Iraq, with the fervor of the Kanamits loading the dimwitted citizens on to airplanes in the Twilight Zone's 'To Serve Man', and with the expected results;

Republicans - The surge is working, it's a big success story.

Democrats - We're fucked ... And the longer we stay here, the more fucked we'll be.

So Anbar province now sits in the Extreme Makeover spotlight ... The bell-ringing success story to validate the Bush Grindhouse tenet that everything about invading and occupying Iraq was the right thing to do ...

And it gave the Decider Guy yet another opportunity to ring that al Qaeda bell;

"You see Sunnis who once fought side by side with al Qaeda against coalition troops now fighting side by side with coalition troops against al Qaeda. Anbar is a huge province. It was once written off as lost. It is now one of the safest places in Iraq. (Hooah.)

The very people that you helped the Iraqis defeat in Anbar swore allegiance to the man that ordered the attack on the United States of America. What happens here in Anbar matters to the security of the United States."

But a funny thing happened on the way to the public relations bag of tricks.

The visit today, and the strategy that lead to the "safety" of the stop-over goes completely against the strained strategy of the ever-so-hailed surge, and what the surge was supposed to accomplish.

"The surge of operations that began in June is improving security throughout Iraq. The military successes are paving the way for the political reconciliation and economic progress the Iraqis need to transform their country."

They bought and paid for Anbar Province, with arms, and money (and, perhaps, some of those missing AK-47's that General David 'Rifleman" Petraeus kinda lost).

Security throughout Iraq is not improving and Michael Vick will probably be back in the NFL before there is political reconciliation.

After all, the "Petraeus Reportpalooza" is running to counter the "reality" coming out of Iraq;

• A corrupt government
• A virtual complete failure in reaching the benchmarks set out by Congress, as detailed by the latest GAO Report
• A NIE Report showing (drum roll, please) more violence, violence violence

And how's this for a ringing endorsement of those Sunnis-turned-soldiers;

"Bush's visit to Anbar province is a strong message to the Maliki government in Baghdad and a rebuke to the Shiite opposition to arming the tribesmen to fight al-Qaeda in Iraq," said Farhan Jassem, a sheik from the Dulaimi tribe. "I believe the tribesmen have fulfilled their promises which they had made to the American forces. We have achieved in four months what the United States could not do in four years, destroying al-Qaeda in Anbar."

Doesn't sound like they're ready to sing "My Country Tis of Thee" anytime soon.

And, as this has happened so often, anybody whose anybody, knows, as soon as U.S. Forces pull out of Anbar, it will go south, just like all the other "success stories".

Perhaps, the best the Bush Grindhouse can spin out of this is that The Uniter Guy didn't go to the market, or rug shopping.

They must be saving the flightsuit and aircraft carrier for the spreading of democracy in Iran.

Cue up Que Sera Sera...

Bonus Petraeus Reportpalooza Links

MUST READ! Firedoglake: Bush/Cheney in Iraq: Winning By Failing

Juan Cole: A surge of phony spin on Iraq; Bush's backers are peddling a sunny view of the president's strategy -- despite Iraq's political chaos and soaring death counts.

Lawmakers Describe 'Being Slimed in the Green Zone'


The Three Amigos

OOPS! We Almost Forgot ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Editor's Note: Mea Culpa! ...

I took, sort of, a mental vacation this week, totally forgetting to post the results of last weeks' Garlic Poll ...

Truth-be-told, it was needed ... I was dangerously close to going Howard Beal and filling The Garlic with post-after-post, ranting against our Congress (The Blank Check Club), and how they tanked it and caved on the FISA vote.

And the vacations - both in Iraq, and here in our country, are almost enough to heat up those Howard Beal vibes all over again.

It's the SOS ad infinitum

Bush: The 'Surge" is working ...
Reality: ‘Surge Is A Failure,’ Warns There Is ‘Major PR Effort Going On’

The Commander Guy, just yesterday, says everything is swell and the troops aren't going anywhere and we're staying in Iraq, to "change the conditions that caused 19 kids to be lured onto airplanes to come and murder our citizens".

The problems in Iraq aren't military, but political, and the Iraq government is on the verge of collapse.

Cue the movie, 'Q & A', at the end of it, when a young idealistic, naïve district attorney (Timothy Hutton), gets serenaded by the grizzled, corrupt Chief of Homicide (Patrick O'Neal) with "Que Sera Sera".

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll July 30 - August 6, 2007

The Iraqi Government is going on vacation for the month of August, which means ...

1. Meeting with their militias to get an update on the insurgency Tally 44%

2. A nice, quiet resort in Iran Tally 22%

3. A junket to meet with Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AK) on how to double the size of their homes Tally 21%

4. They'll issue a letter on how to interpret Crony General Alberto Gonzales testimony Tally 13%


This week’s Poll - The World Weekly News is shutting down ... It's final headline should be ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote


















Nouri al Maliki ... You're country is in flames and your government is in shambles, what are you going to do? ...

"I'm going to Disneyland!"

Minced Garlic - Keith Olbermann, Paul Rieckhoff and Larisa Alexandrovna Expose Bush Giving Aid To The Enemy

"One of the things that did happen today that concerned me was that during Bush‘s press conference, he actually showed a graphic that showed 24 urban military outposts in downtown Baghdad ... Our enemies aren‘t stupid. They can look at that and figure out a grid coordinate and try to drop mortars on those exact locations ... "

All the spin, the smears, the lies, the attacks on anyone who opposed the Great Decider, labeling them as giving aid and comfort to our enemies.

When an opponent does, they're a Nazi Appeaser, or worse.

When Bush, or one of his henchman do it, why they are supporting the troops and fighting the global war on terror.

It was an unguarded, unprompted, unplanned moment last Friday evening, on MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann.

Olbermann was interviewing veteran, veteran advocate and 'Chasing Ghost' author Paul Rieckhoff regarding the continuing growing scandal over the death of Army Ranger Pat Tilman.

Near the end of the interview, Olbermann ask Rieckhoff to comment on the Harry Reid "The War is Lost" statement made in the Senate the day before.Rieckhoff briefly addressed that and then turned to the bombshell of President Bush, complete with slides, showing off military position around Baghdad at a speech in Ohio.

Larisa Alexandrovna, of at-largely, and also an investigative journalist, essayist and poet, managing news editor of Raw Story, and contributor to Alternet, and The Huffington Post, picked up on it as well.

"My good friend Paul Rieckhoff just made an interesting point on Countdown regarding a speech given by the Decider today. I had not noticed this, but apparently our beloved leader put a big red X on where US are positioned in Iraq, showing once again that his version of supporting the troops is at best political theater and at worst, dangerous to our national security."

Links

Note: The video of the Olbermann-Rieckhoff interview, the Bush giving aid to our enemies comes at the very end of the video. And Alexandrova's link offers a transcript of Bush giving his speech and spilling the beans on where troops are located.

Larisa Alexandrovna - Bush to terrorists: Here is a map of our troop movements

Video: Keith Olbermann - Paul Rieckhoff Interview - New details in Tillman investigation

Transcript of 'Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for April 20

'Chasing Ghost' author Paul Rieckhoff

Minced Garlic: Another Stellar Keith Olbermann Special Comment - “A special comment about lying”

Minced Garlic Redux! ... New Keith Olbermann Special Comment, - 'Have you no sense of decency, sir?' This Time, Slapping Down The Decider, Himself

VIDEO COMPILATION: Bush Fear-Mongering Reaches Fevered Pitch In


"He who laughs first, laughs last"

Flutie Sends "Cease-and-Desist" Letter To Media Over 'Hail Mary' References Regarding Surge

Diminutive QB Longtime Copyright Holder; "It Still Feeds My Family"; Says Open To Negotiate On Usage

Using the big bully pulpit of Super Bowl XVI, former NFL Quarterback Doug Flutie said that he has begun sending out "Cease-and-Desist" letters to the media - newspapers, magazines, television, cable, blogs and zines - regarding their usage of the term "Hail Mary Pass" in describing the Bush Administration's Iraq Occupation and escalation policies.

"It still feeds my family,' said the diminutive Flutie, a Heisman Trophy winner, who toiled for 21 seasons in professional football, first in the Canadian Football League, for eight-years, before entering into the NFL.

Flutie retired after the 2005 season, at age 43, from the New England Patriots. In the final game of the season, Flutie "dropped kicked" a field goal, the first such feat in the NFL since 1941.

Flutie is most associated with the "Hail Mary Pass" for leading a stirring comeback, in 1984

With his Boston College team trailing Miami 45-41, and only six-seconds remaining in the game, Flutie heaved his Hail Mary Pass towards the end zone. The ball sailed over a group of defenders and into the arms of BC receiver Gerald Phelan for the win.

Since that moment, the term "Hail Mary Pass" has been used frequently and often, in the context of football games and some other sporting events, but only very recently has been applied to politics.

Flutie, at a beach front press conference said that with the "explosion" of usage of the "Hail Mary Pass" phrase coming out of Washington, he had to take action.

"It's just like the music downloading," said Flutie. "If you don't own the copyright, it's not yours to use."

The term, along with the word "surge" began last month, in the days before President Bush's "New Way Forward" speech to the nation, when White House staff began leaking out portions of the President's new policy.

In a study conducted by the Project for Excellennce In Journalism, the phrase 'Hail Mary Pass" showed up in over 330 stories during the week of January 10-17. The word "Surge", according to the study, appeared in 18,118 stories, followed at a distance by
the word “escalate” or “escalation,” with 10,112 placements.

"I've seen the PEJ Study," offered Flutie, "and it was a key factor in directing my attorneys to take this action. If someone wants to make me an offer, I'll listen"

Flutie admitted that it is likely, at some point, for someone to come along and throw a better "Hail Mary Pass" but that "I want to see that done on the field, not just mouthing off in a newspaper."

"You've also been slinging around the "Hail Maliki Pass" (227 stories according to the PEJ Study) ... Now, it's up to President Maliki if he wants to join my call, but it's also pretty disingenuous to use it ... I mean, I didn't see Baghdad University ever put out a football team and I don't remember seeing President Maliki beat Miami with a last-second touchdown pass."

Flutie's Miracle in Miami

Surge Me The Money! ... The Results - The Garlic Week Poll

The race is on as to which gets built or rebuilt first, and, considering our Court-Appointed President's big "Win One For The Dubya!" speech this past week, Las Vegas must be placing odds that it will be Baghdad - that is if the insurgents (aka Iraqi citizens) don't burn it down first.

Mayor Ray Nagin, and the rest of the politicians down in Louisianna have to make the tough, political choices in the weeks and months ahead.

If they want to get the funds to rebuild New Orleans, they're going to have to invite the Shites and Sunnis to come on over and start battling in the Big Easy. Maybe then, the current administration occupying the White House will pay attention to the city.

As to the Bush Library.

Based on our Chief Surger's tenure, and with the drumbeat gettting louder for some level of violence with Iran (Cheney can economize and just use the same forged papers to claim that Ahmadinejad is trying to get Yellow Cake Uranium from Africa to get the ball rolling), they can just place the Bush Think Tank, errr, I mean Library, inside the PNAC or American Enterprise Institute.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll January 10 - January 13, 2007

For the remainder of Court-Appointed President Bush’s term, which will get more funding, construction and/or reconstruction?

1. Baghdad, Iraq Tally 50%

2. Bush Presidential Library Tally 33%

3. New Orleans, LA Tally 17%


This Week’s Poll - With the Scooter Libby trial beginning this week, we should be prepared for ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

New Bush Theme Song - Baghdad, With The Surge On Tap

In our Court-Appointed President’s speech last evening, that Howard Fineman of Newsweek characterized as "George W. Bush spoke with all the confidence of a perp in a police lineup ...”, the only thing lacking, beyond a strategy, new plan or announcement of bringing the troops home, was a soundtrack.

There he was, in the White House library, the same one used by a past, and a far greater President, who was saddled with a genuine World War, not of his choosing, standing stiff as board and sounding like guilty teenager giving is father (or Higher Father) a convoluted, and unconvincing, line of bullshit about how the dents got in the family car.

So, as we have done in the past, The Garlic provides our misguided and deluded Commander-In-Chief a tune to commemorate his officially choosing to escalate the Iraq Occupation, as opposed to listening to his Congress, his fellow citizens and much of the world, to wind down and pack it in.

We choose for this special occasion, from ‘’Oklahoma”, the classic standard, “Surry, With The Fringe On Top.

Baghdad, With The Surge On Tap

When I take you out, tonight, with me,
Honey, here's the way it's goin' to be:
You will set behind a team of snow white Humvees,
In the slickest surge you ever see!

Sunnis and Shias and Insurgents better scurry
When I launch that surge in a very quick hurry,
When I take you out to Baghdad, With The Surge On Tap!

Watch the Left and see how it flutters
When I drive them high steppin' Army motha;s .
Nosey pokes'll peek thru' their shutters and their eyes will pop!

The Dems are yeller, their Speakers’ a clown,
Their 100-hours won’t hold together
With policies you can tear right down,
In case there's dissent, they’ll change like the weather.

Two bright strategies winkin' and blinkin',
Ain't no finer Prez is what I'm a-thinkin'
You c'n keep your Bills and your cut-and-run crap
Fer that shiny, little Baghdad, With The Surge On Tap!

All the worlds’ humming a dirge
For my latest and greatest last minute surge,
When I take you out to Baghdad, With The Surge On Tap!

When we hit that Evil Axis, hell fer leather,
Israel and Saudis’ dance in the heather,
Egypt and Jordan will sing all together and stand to clap!

The bombs'll whistle as we rattle along,
The clerics'll boo running for cover,
The river will ripple with bullets flying strong,

And whisper it over and over:
Don't you wisht y'd go on forever?
Don't you wisht y'd go on forever?
Don't you wisht y'd go on forever as an unending flap
That shiny, little Baghdad, With The Surge On Tap!

I can see the Dems gettin' blurry,
When we create that Democracy flurry
Drivin' slowly home in Baghdad, With The Surge On Tap!

I can feel Jack Murtha gettin' older,
Pelosi a sleepy head on his shoulder,
Noddin', droopin' till their treasonous speech falls kerplop!

The Math is smearin’ the Dems on the Hill;
And Kennedy is takin' a header
And jist as I'm thinkin' it took all my great skill,
A public'll wake up for the better.

Hush, you Freak Show, the Dem's a-sleepin'!
Maybe they got a dream worth a-keepin'
Whoa! you Neocons and jist keep a-creepin' at a slow loud yap.
Don't you hurry that Baghdad, With The Surge On Tap!

Links

Listen to a clip of “Surry, With The Fringe On Top” from the soundtrack

Video of legendary Jazz singer Blossom Dearie performing “Surry, With The Fringe On Top”

White House Plans “Strategy Accomplished” Banner As Backdrop For Bush Speech

No Post-Speech Photo Cropping; Attire Still Up In The Air; Leaving Door Open For “Newer” Strategies To Follow

Sources have told The Garlic, that when the President delivers his speech this evening, on his new Iraq Policy, a large banner will hang behind him, reading “Strategy Accomplished”.

The President will announce that he has chosen as his way forward, and against the advice of his military command, installing more troops - as many as 20,000+ - in Iraq, to secure Baghdad and other trouble areas.

With heavy criticism, from both Republicans and Democrats, and rock-bottom approval ratings, the aide indicated that “We have take the opportunities given us ... We need to begin the work of building back the image of a strong, in-charge President ...”

President Bush has delayed the unveiling of his new strategy and the concept of the banner initially was borne out of a joke by West Wing staffers, that the President finally made the determination on the “new way forward”.

“After we all had a laugh, we thought about it and the more we talked about it, we saw that we can actually use it as a positive.”

The White House was lambasted, after the President delivered, back in 2004, his speech aboard the U.S.S. Lincoln, declaring major combat operations in Iraq were over, and with a large “Mission Accomplished” banner hanging behind him.

Later, more derision was aimed at the White House, when it was discovered that official White House photos of the day cropped out the “Mission Accomplished” banner.

“No cropping this evening,” declared White House Chief of Staff Josh Bolten.

“We are proud that the President has come up with the strategy and we want everyone to know about it. We cleaned up the Iraq Jar and we’re putting it all out there.”

So orchestrated around the “Strategy Accomplished” banner is the White House, the staff brought in a team of fashion consultants, and conducted two-hours of wardrobe tests yesterday, with the President in everything from tailored suits, to the uniforms of all four military branches, combat attire, with and without body armor, as well as the infamous flight suit he wore the day of the “Mission Accomplished” debacle.

In the days following the speech, the White House is planning funneling thousands of people through the White House Library, to have photos taken with the “Strategy Accomplished” banner.

And not only is the White House thumping the “Strategy Accomplished”.

The RNC is planning a mass mailing to party donors and faithful supporters, bumper stickers and placards carrying the “Strategy Accomplished” message, in an effort to rally more public support for the new policy.

Sources tell The Garlic that Special White House Council Karl Rove will be applying his “The Math” powers to the speech message, to challenge critics, not on their support of the policy, but whether or not they can produce an accomplished Iraq strategy

“This is all about building back the President’s power image,” said one White House aide.

And the White House is not resting their laurels on just the speech this evening.

“We expect,” offered Bolten, “that the President will continue to strategize the best possible policy for battling the terrorists and insurgents... He’s on a roll now.”

Bolten indicated that the White House has already ordered a new banner to be printed, blazing the message “New Strategy Accomplished”.

So orchestrated around the “Strategy Accomplished” banner is the White House, the staff brought in a team of fashion consultants, and conducted two-hours of wardrobe tests yesterday, with the President in everything from tailored suits, to the uniforms of all four military branches, combat attire, with and without body armor, as well as the infamous flight suit he wore the day of the “Mission Accomplished” debacle.