Breaking News! "That's al-Qaeda Talking" On Riff Between Maliki And Golden Boy General

President Blaming Terror Group; Claims Classified Wiretap Program Shows Scripted Dialog Given To Iraqi PM

President Bush, first setting the stage with his weekly radio address, came out today squarely blaming the terrorist group al-Qaeda for the burgeoning squabble between Iraq Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki and U.S General David Petraeus.

The Bush Grindhouse would only say they blamed al-Qaeda, alternately citing al-Qaeda in Iraq, and al-Qaeda central, based in their safe haven in Pakistan.

"We know", offered White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, "that al-Qaeda is - literally - putting words in his mouth."

This revelation came after reports of growing tension between Maliki and Bush's 'Golden Boy" General mushroomed to the point that Maliki appealed directly to President Bush to replace Petraeus, to remove him from operations in Iraq.

When pressed by reporters how the President knew it was al-Qaeda, Snow referred to the controversial Terrorist Surveillance Program.

"Now, understand, I can't go into specifics," Snow pleaded, "so, let's say that our intelligence from a classified surveillance program gave us this valuable information."

Snow would neither confirm or deny if it was the same TSP, the one the President confirmed, and that Crony General Alberto Gonzales lied about in his appearance testifying this week, or if it was Gonzales additional lie of it being "other intelligence activities".

Coincidently, in his weekly radio address, The Commander Guy badgered Congress to update the The Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act.

"The President needs a better FISA program," said Snow. "We had the terrorists pulling dry runs last week... We have to be able to take action and can't be stopping and asking this judge, or this senator if it's okay if we listen to a phone call ... Or read an email ... American lives are at stake here."

"It's all part of al Qaeda in Iraq strategy," Snow continued. "They attack us on September 11th, fan an insurgency after we liberate the country, and now want us to leave so they can take over the country. They're telling Maliki what to say in an effort to push us out."

Snow would not confirm if the latest NIE report offered evidence that al-Qaeda in Iraq was putting words in Maliki's mouth, citing the most sensitive information is classified.

Snow wouldn't comment on the reports of a growing rift with Saudi Arabia, that has the Saudis distributing fake reports that lie about Maliki and his government.

"I can't comment on that at this time, confessed Snow. "We still looking that one over ... It could be al Qaeda in Iraq's work, or it could be coming from al Qaeda Central ... We are pretty certain it has al Qaeda fingerprints on it..."

Snow, also, would neither confirm or deny reports circulating around Washington that al Qaeda was responsible for attempting to send electrical interference in the area near the hospital where Vice President Dick Cheney was today, having his heart defibrillator replaced.

Sources tell The Garlic that there was tension between the Bush Grind House and the Vice President's office, after the Secret Service picked up the stray currents of unexplained electricity.

The Bush Grindhouse argued that al Qaeda should be blamed for it, while the OVP lobbied that it was clearly coming from Iran, and a full, military reponse should be ordered.

Furthermore, Senator Joe Lieberman (I&R- CT) was said to side with Cheney and the OVP, and was prepared to call the Senate into session today, and sponsor legislation for an attack on Iran.

Both plans stalled, after Crony General Alberto Gonzales was said to be "totally confused" on which set of intelligence - Iraq or Iran - he was to lie about next.

Bonus Links

Think Progress: The Ever Changing Definition of ‘Mission’ In Iraq

Glenn Greenwald: Various items ...(Update III -- with Bush's radio address tomorrow re: FISA)

TalkLeft: NewSpeak: Bush's FISA Proposal


President Bush is said to be outraged, and blaming al Qaeda for the rift between General David Petraeus and Iraq Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki

More Bad News For McCain; Death Cat Curling Up Next To His Campaign Photos

Senator and Presidential Hopeful Drops F-Bomb, As Feline Grim Reaper Maintains Streak, Giving Signal That McCain Effort Over;

In the "What Else Can Go Wrong Department", reports indicated that the uncanny Rhode Island nursing home cat that foresees death, is said to have been curling up next to newspaper campaign photos of Senator John McCain (R-AZ).

Additionally, Oscar the Death Cat at the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center in Providence, R.I. runs and sits under the television whenever the Senator is on the screen.

McCain, the ardent supporter of President Bush's invasion and occupation of Iraq, and 2008 Presidential hopeful, has seen his campaign sink, dogged by headlines in recent weeks of "John McCain goes off the rails", "McCain's Meltdown" and "The Implosion Of Senator John McCain" as well as the abandonment of staffers rivaling the sinking of the Titanic, including more yesterday, when his media team resigned.

Now, having Oscar the Death Cat stalking him, even from a distance, can't be an encouraging sign for the man who's heading to be the modern day Alf Landon.

"He's a cat with an uncanny instinct for death," said Dr. David M. Dosa, assistant professor at the Brown University School of Medicine and a geriatric specialist, in a Boston Globe interview. "He attends deaths. He's pretty insistent on it."

Oscar has foreseen 25 deaths in the two-years he's been at the nursing home.

Officially, the McCain camp (well, what's left of it, which may be better described as an outing or gathering) would offer no comment.

However, sources have told The Garlic, that when McCain was told about Oscar the Death Cat, the Senator launched into one of his trademark explosions.

"Now", seethed McCain, "I have a fucking cat weighing in on my campaign ... A fucking little, mangy, stinking fucking cat is gonna tell me I can't run for President ... What is this, the Daily Kos's cat! ... Move-Fucking-On programming fucking cats now to screw with me! ..."

McCain, sources in attendance said, then tore of his his flak jacket and stormed out of the room, still mumbling about the cat.

"It's really sad", offered Irena Dubrovna, who publishes "The GOP Litter Box" an advice and information newsletter for Republicans who own cats, but are conflicted that their feline pets aren't self-sufficient, "but not all that surprising."

"I mean, McCain ... In a Blackberry, IM, YouTube world, John McCain is Morse Code and carbon paper ... It's not surprising that this cat would catch his campaign's death scent."

Bonus Links

McCain - Obama Feud Update; Obama Grammy Sends McCain Heading Into Studio

McCain Says Abducted and Grilled By Cheney; Won't Budge On Torture Ban; Held For Two-Days In Secret Bunker; Hadley Defends 'Discussion", Saying Part of New National Victory Strategy


McCain explodes after learning Oscar the Death Cat has signaled his presidential campaign is over

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell The Shuttle Astronauts Are Drunk

News Item: Report: Drunk astronauts allowed on shuttle

10. Drunk astronauts make a few stops, to pick up their friends

9. Astronauts prank call the White House, telling the President that they found the WMD's in outer space

8. Continually take unauthorized space walks, to go back to shuttle's engine to light their cigarettes

7. Don't have to worry about walking a straight line in a no-gravity environment

6. Keeps calling mission control with "Whitney Houston, you have a problem", followed by a lot of giggling

5. Start singing "Fly Me To The Moon" and then say, "Hey, why not ..." and change course to head there

4. Going through space, they forget to put their headlights on

3. Alarm for bay doors opening-and-closing going off constantly - They're tossing away empty beer cans

2. Once they reach the Russian Space Station, badger the Russian cosmonauts to hit up their Tang with a little vodka

1. Come in landing at Edwards Air Force Base steering the shuttle with their feet

Barry Crimmins with "Our Space"

Spot-on posting by satirist Barry Crimmins, with his "Our Space" yesterday.

Crimmins rails against the state of entertainment, working for free, Huffington, Murdoch and television executives (and I might be willing to wager there's already been half-a-dozen breakfast meetings on the prospects and logistics of launching his "Piss On Yourself" reality show).








Read Barry Crimmins' Our Space

Visit Barry Crimmins Website

Barry Crimmins On The Garlic

The Crony General: "Not necessarily. I could be arguing in my spare time ..."

This should have been Pay-Per-View today ... Line up the tour, secure the "eight-page layout with Viceroy" ...

The Crony General is not a thinking man!

The Decider Guy won't fire him ... The Crony General, himself, is blinded that he is a walking joke and won't resign ... And the Congress is equally blind, not willing to lay a hand on any of these monumental lawbreakers ...

The fact that Crony General Alberto Gonzales will wake up tomorrow, and still have his job should have the entire Department of Injustice (those that haven't taken the Omerta to the Bush Grindhouse), including the Federal Judiciary, pulling a "sick out" ... Aw hell, just go out on strike ...Refuse to work under this person ... Demand, by your job action, The Commander Guy throw his ass out of the building.

I only saw a brief bit of his testimony today, before the Senate Judiciary Committee. Then, later, various clips from various news programs.

It was jaw-dropping.

Gonzales was absolutely child-like, saying anything that popped into the thing resting on his shoulders, even the most bizarre and outlandish statements, almost as if his speech was subtitled, emblazoned with "lying" as he spoke, only digging himself deeper into the lies.

At times, it played out, with the same joie de vive as the infamous Monty Python "Argument" skit.

Of the multitude of postings filling up the web this evening, to give you a good sense of the absurdity the Crony General is, check out The Washington Post's Andrew Cohen's "Gonzo on the Hill: A Comedic Tragedy".

Digby is in sync with the opening of this post, as she ends her "Depends On What The Definition Of Program Is" with "This man is an insult to the constitution. Impeach him. Get him out of there. Whatever it takes."

More On The Crony General

TPMmuckraker.com: Gonzales Memo Widened Cheney's Office Access to DoJ Case Info

TPMmuckraker.com - Gonzales: I Only Visited Ashcroft's Hospital Bed Because Congress Wanted It

The Raw Story: Senator stumps Gonzales over authority granted to Cheney to intervene in Justice probes

The Crony General ... On The Garlic

Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

Cold Body Assoc. Denounces Gonzales For Finger-Pointing, Break In Tradition; "Blaming McNulty At This Point In Time Is Scurrilous"; CBA Membership Upset, Fears Could Be "Open Season" On Scapegoats

Top Ten Cloves: How It Would Be Different If Alberto Gonzales Was The Head of March Madness

"I could be arguing in my spare time ..."

Top Ten Cloves: Ad Campaigns U.S. Can Use To Win Over Iraqi People

News Item: The Pentagon Gets a Lesson From Madison Avenue; U.S. Needs to Devise a Different 'Brand' to Win Over the Iraqi People, Study Advises

10. Humor: Montage of Dick Cheney speeches, talking about being liberators, insurgency in final throes, not part of Executive branch

9. Saturation Campaign: "U.S. Democracy ... A Little Dab'll Do Ya!

8. Tough Love: "A Democracy tastes good like an occupation should"

7. In a PSA effort to get Iraqi's to rally around a new Constitution, will have a little old lady look into camera and bark "Where's The Beef!"

6. Retro (Optimistic): You've got a lot to live ... And the U.S. has alot to give ...

5. Ambassador Ryan Crocker descending down into a moving, shiny convertible car, with voiceover "Let America Put You In The Driver's Seat"

4. Have Miller Lite produce campaign; Clerics, politicians and celebrities around a square table for "Imam Law"

3. Subtle: In variation of Volkswagen campaign, black screen with only "Good Citizens Wanted"

2. Retro (Tough): The U.S. Military ... Takes A Licking But Keeps On Ticking ...

1. A good jingle: "The U.S. Occupation is that heavenly democracy, heavenly democracy, heavenly democracy ... The U.S. Occupation is that heavenly democracy, Better democracy a millionaire's money can't buy

Bonus Link

Glenn Greenwald: Further politicization of the U.S. military's public statements

It Will Make A Nice, Keepsake, Photograph ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

In at least one way, our poll last week was too easy.

As our Garlic Poll Voters discerned, The Decider/The Commander/The Shakespeare Guy almost always (well, Donald Rumsfeld might still be sitting by the telephone) gives his biggest flunkies and fuck-ups the Presidential Medal of Freedom Award.

The way to succeed in the Bush Grindhouse is to fail. Fail miserably.

Perhaps Chertoff knew, in his gut, all along, that he wouldn't be fired, hence, allowing him to offer his "gut feelings" about the terror threat facing the country, not fully understanding the confusion he would cause by doing so.

After all, we have the Color-Coded Terror Alert Chart, with the occassionally-accompanying Duct Tape and Plastic warning added ... And now we have a "Who's On First" routine being played out by the Bush Grindhouse on just who Al Qaeda is and which Al Qaeda were fighting, based on the lasted NIE report released last week.

So, Michael Chertoff, "gut away" as you will, and know that at the end of the rainbow, a nice, shiney medal awaits your meritorious service.

When you get that medal hung around your neck, it will make for such a nice, keepsake, photograph, all those people down in New Orleans can hang on the wall of their toxic, FEMA-provided trailer.

(The Garlic wants to let the NBA, and investigating authorities, that referee Tim Donaghy has had no dealings or connections to the Garlic Weekly Poll and, to the best of your knowledge, has never gambled on the outcome of any of our polls).

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll July 15 - July 22, 2007

The reason President Bush didn't fire Michael Chertoff was ...

1. Already promised him he'll be getting a Presidential Medal of Freedom Award Tally 31%

2. Can't divulge reason, invoking Executive Privilege Tally 30%

3. Had his own gut feeling that Chertoff would follow him home Tally 24%

4. Still in the middle of Hurricane Season; Needs someone to blame in case U.S. hit big again Tally 14%

This week’s Poll - Where's Condi Rice? Is she ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Editor's Note: Sorry For The Delay In Posting

Good Afternoon Garlic Fans

Just a note to apologize for the lack-of-posting yesterday (Monday).

We got bogged down in technical difficulties, in installing - and getting it, and everything else - the new SnapShots feature (just run your cursor over any highlighted link) to all work properly.

Along with numerous interruptions, the installation of SnapShots became a tiresome chore, of going back-and-forth with code. As one feature would work, a different problem arose (one of which was the incomplete loading of The Garlic; Tip-of-the-Cap to those friends and families badgered, to go out to The Garlic and test things out).

Once everything was installed, code-corrected and working as it should, it was late evening and too tired to shift into creative mode.

So, dark for one day, but were back hittin' it today

Once again, Many and Mucho Thanks for visiting and reading The Garlic.

Peace
JTD

Taking Down The Duct Tape and Plastic ... It's Sunday, Post-Pottermania ... And Post President Cheney

Nice, lazy afternoon here... Not too hot, not too cool ...

Still attempting to calm the nerves, some 24-Hours+ removed from the, albeit, brief Cheney presidency... Spent the better half of the morning removing the duct tape and plastic that was installed, just in case ...















Speaking of Bush and Cheney, legendary columnist Jimmy Breslin adds his voice calling for Impeachment ...

But is the Bush Grindhouse preparing for the battle, declaring the Congress and the Courts null and void, drafting a coup-drenched, bullet-proof Executive Order?


Pottermania Was Here!

Without having anything invested - pro-or-con - over Harry Potter, it was rather refreshing to see the Pottermania that ran triumphantly Friday evening ... A major event, happening in cities all over the country, and sans being laden with ominous government warnings of terrorism ... People could gather in large groups and not have to take off their shoes, or give up their hair gel ... By the news accounts I saw, it all looked to be good, ole, plain fun ...

A watershed moment in this post 9-11 world, or just a freak, isolated happening?

But there was, at least, one person not so impressed with Harry Potter.

Megan McArdle, writes and blogs about economics for The Economist, appearing in the Guardian Unlimited, bashes author J. K. Rowling, both humorously, but heavily, in her post "Harry Potter: the economics" ...


Happy Belated Birthday Hunter S. Thompson!

This week past would have been the 70th birthday of the beyond-legandary writer (and hero) Hunter S. Thompson.

Jerilyn Merrit, over on TalkLeft has a good post...

And Editor & Publisher offers how the hometown paper saluted the creator of Gonzo Journalism.


'Round The World

The Reaction has a few good posts on news, about us, from around the world

There's Carol Gee's post of "How others see us" and Michael Stickings' "Around the world: France, Spain, Pakistan, and the Ivory Coast" ...


Son of Macaca on the Horizon?

Interesting piece in the Washington Post today on the rise of an anti-Illegal Alien movement in the great commonwealth of Virginia today - Muscling a Web Site Into a Social Movement; Va. Blogger Taps Into Illegal-Immigration Ire

George Allen has some time of his hand these days, maybe he can lend his oratory skills to it ...

For the lastest and/or good information on the Immigration front, take a spin over to Immigration Orange ...


Attorney Firings? ... Have We Seen This Before?

Tip-of-the-cap to Larisa Alexandrovna, over on her At-Largly... Seems the phrase "attorney firings" and "Karl Rove" are very familiar with each other ... Check out "Amazing Harper's piece on Rove" ...


Flaming hoops and missed mattresses

I don't think U.S. Ambassador to Iraq Ryan Crocker will be bucking for a job with the Iraq Council of Tourism, following his comments last week ... And the heavy-handed spin coming out of the Bush Grindhouse as well, over the lastest NIE report and the "Al Qaeda is Everywhere" shout-outs won't help him either ...

Both are fodder for the great satirist, Barry Crimmins, in his post "Flaming hoops and missed mattresses" (and look for the special guest appearance of the Karate Kid) ...

And, lastly, it appears that, despite the warnings from his boss, Ambassador Crocker wants them to follow us home ...


Send large tables to Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid

Hold The Phone! ... He Can't Be President, He's Not Part of The Executive Branch ...

I can't believe that the stock market didn't crash, the Emergency Broadcast System, didn't, with blaring beeps, take over our televisions and Washington DC become paralyzed in Constitutional gridlock.

With the news today that The Decider/The Commander Guy/The Shakespeare Guy will undergo a Colonoscopy (is this the yearly clean-out of the bile he spews, in place of reasoned thought and sound policy?), which, for a number of hours, places Darth Vader, aka, Vice President Richard B. Cheney with the Presidential Powers.

Couldn't Bush just have done another Signing Statement to say he had his Colonoscopy?

Perhaps we should add the Iranian citizens bolting down the hatches and running for cover tomorrow.

Better hold off on filling up that memoir Nancy Pelosi... And Harry Reid can run out to Bed, Bath and Beyond for some new sheets to go on the cots they should be rolling back in tonight.

If no one believed we have been in a Constitutional Crises, this scenario certainly creates one.

Cheney to become president…briefly?

Wasn't it just a mere few weeks ago that Cheney indicated, in order to avoid some benign oversight, that he wasn't part of the Executive Branch?

If that is the case, as the Bush Grindhouse agreed, than the Speaker of the House, the aforementioned Ms. Pelosi, should get the to hold the parchment and wear the secret decoder ring this weekend.

Maybe this is why the Bush Grindhouse came out today with that bizare legel mumble-jumble about they - The Grindhouse - can't be prosecuted by the DOJ for Contempt of Congress.

How about Contempt of the Constitution? Contempt of the Country?

Granted, it may be for only a few hours, but, jeez, the way Cheney operates with that stealth secrecy, he could kick start that Armageddon he's been practicing for before you finish mowing the lawn.

If you do straighten this out Nancy, and you get to sit in the big chair, how's about putting all this on that table you don't want to put anything on?

Bonus Links

John Fabian Witt: A Declaration The President Ignores

Glenn Greenwald: Bush's magical shield from criminal prosecution

Eugene Robinson: Bush's Cognitive Dissonance












"He could kick start that Armageddon he's been practicing for before you finish mowing the lawn."

Developing Story! A Livid Cheney Moves To Place Chertoff Guts Under Wraps

Future Intestinal Prognostications To Be Kept Secret; Brings In Former U.N Ambassador For Extra Tongue Lashing

Against the backdrop of a report shedding light of Vice President Dick Cheney's Energy Task Force, as well as new intelligence reports regarding Al Qaeda readying to attack the United States again, as well as a new, extraordinary move by the Bush Grindhouse in claims of Executive Privilege, an incident has come to light, over national security, involving Cheney, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff and, former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, John Bolton.

In yet another example of the unprecedented and extraordinary secrecy the Bush Grindhouse has conducted the nation's affairs, sources tell The Garlic that Cheney is citing, since gases are formed in a person's "gut", re Chertoff's "gut feelings", and gases being a form of energy, this would fall under Cheney's Energy Task Force and any information from it would be classified and unavailable for any overview.

Last week, before the Homeland Security Secretary gave his now infamous interview with the Chicago Sun-Times, that he was repeatedly badgered and harassed by the Vice President's office.

There was a rumor circulating on the Hill that Chertoff was merely suffering from indegestion, that he had a upset stomach, but that Cheney, along with his Chief of Staff David Addington, made repeated visits to Chertoff, seeking more and more information from Chertoff's gut.

Sources tell The Garlic that, on a subsequent visit by Cheney and Addington, former Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton was accompanying the pair and, after entering Chertoff's office, Bolton could be heard, very loudly, screaming, yelling and berating Chertoff.

The White refused to comment on the story, indicating that they would invoke Executive Privilege regarding their refusal to comment, but did issue a statement that they are not anticipating exposing any covert CIA agents over the Chertoff Gut matter.













"Hey There! ... Hi! ... Yeah, Fuck You! ... Executive Privilege! ...How Ya Doin'! ...We Don't Have To Say Anything! ...Hey There! ... Blow It Out Your Ass! ... Executive Privilege! ..."

Retro Garlic ... Oh, Ed Henry, David Chappelle ... That's Sooooo 2005

Another Retro Garlic... Another case of life imitating The Garlic?

CNN's intrepid White House correspondent Ed Henry has a riff about meeting comedian David Chappelle outside the White House a few days ago.

Dave Chappelle: Next White House press secretary?

They walk and talk, nothing earth-shattering

But the conversation shifts to Henry asking Chappelle what's his next project.

“Or maybe I’ll take Tony Snow’s job,” Chappelle smiled. “I think that’s a cool job.”

Mr. Chappelle forgets that he already has a commitment, given to him by The Garlic, back in May 2005;

Washington Bombshell On U.N. Post - Bush Ready To Pull Bolton; Will Nominate Dave Chappelle; Senate Says They'll Vote "Up, Down and Sideways" For Comedy Central Star; Bolton Goes Ballistic

Now, it would be a gas to have Chappelle in either position, no?

Links

David Chappelle Website

David Chappelle Show

CNN's Ed Henry

Minced Garlic - Keith Olbermann Special Comment: Go to Iraq and fight, Mr. President

As our MSNBC hero-anchor Keith Olbermann is fond of saying, "Oh no, here we go again ..."

A blistering, top-of-the-program, red-hot Special Comment tonight on 'Countdown with Keith Olbermann'.

The criminal lack of planning for the war — the total “jump-off-a-bridge-and-hope-you-can-fly” tone to the failure to anticipate what would follow the deposing of Saddam Hussein — that had nothing to do with the chaos in which Iraq has been enveloped. It isn’t Mr. Bush’s fault.

The utter, blinkered idiocy of “staying the course,” of sending Americans to Iraq and sending them a second time, and a third and a fourth, until they get killed or maimed — the utter de-prioritization of human life, simply so a politician can avoid having to admit a mistake — that had nothing to do with the tens of thousand individual tragedies darkening the lives of American families, forever. It isn’t Mr. Bush’s fault.

The Bush Grindhouse is at it again.

Perhaps a light bulb went off over someone's head that, "Hey, the latest NIE Report kinda blows our shit right outta the water".

Or, just in case General David Petreaus is balking - early - at becoming the scapegoat, they gotta work their motto: The Bucks Stop Here - But The Blame Goes Somewhere Else

They trotted out a B-Team player (perhaps Fran Townsend is still trying to figure out if there is a country named Iraq, or not), Under Secretary of Defense for Policy Eric Edelman to send Senator, and 2008 Presidential Candidate, Hillary Clinton a "You're either with us or against us" letter, responding to a letter she sent asking about a plan for troop withdrawals.

“Premature and public discussion of the withdrawal of U.S. forces from Iraq,” Edelman writes, “reinforces enemy propaganda that the United States will abandon its allies in Iraq, much as we are perceived to have done in Vietnam, Lebanon and Somalia.”

Edelman adds: “Such talk understandably unnerves the very same Iraqi allies we are asking to assume enormous personal risks.”

Haven't they played this song before?

Defeatocrats ... Cut-and-Run... Giving Aid and Comfort To The Enemy ...

Geeish ... Maybe Karl Rove needs to hit summer school and hone-up on his math skills.

Or get "the Homeland guy" to have some better churnings in his gut.

But what was Senator Clinton thinking? That these guys have -or had - a plan?

They can lie, obfuscate, cook intelligence, smear, expose covert CIA agents, not take care of the injured, all in the name of their invasion and occupation of Iraq (This war has been brought to you by the PNAC ... The PNAC - Power Over People ... We Kill The Good Things In Life) and you there, Missy, shouldn't be asking any questions about it.

Olbermann gives The Commander Guy a schooling on scapegoats and role models, towel-snapping Bush's ass every step of the way, and wrapping up with;

This, sir, is your war.

Sen. Clinton has reinforced enemy propaganda? Made it impossible for you to get your ego-driven, blood-steeped win in Iraq?

Then take it into your own hands, Mr. Bush.

Go to Baghdad now and fulfill, finally, your military service obligations.

Go there and fight, your war. Yourself.

Links

Watch Keith Olbermann's Special Comment: Blame Hillary?

Read Keith Olbermann's Special Comment: Go to Iraq and fight, Mr. President; Bush’s latest choice of scapegoat — Hillary Clinton — boggles the mind


Bonus Links

TPM Café Exclusive: Hillary's Stinging Letter To SecDef Gates Obtained

MSNBC's Matthews Uninjured Pulling Head Out Of Judy Miller's Ass

Hardball Host Fawns Over Former White House Stenographer; Stays Away From Tough Questions

MSNBC's Chris Matthews, host of 'Hardball with Chris Matthews', escaped serious injury yesterday, extracting his head out of the rectum of Judy Miller, former New York Times reporter and White House stenographer.

"We weren't sure," offered MSNBC President, Dan Abrams. "We sent Chris to the hospital, just as a precaution."

Abrams wasn't pleased with his hosts' interview with Miller, who served nearly three-months in jail for not disclosing her source in the CIA Leak Case, which turned out to be convicted felon, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby.

Sources tell The Garlic that Abrams is considering a change in the title of Matthews' program, to "Soft Balls On Chris Matthews".

Matthews, with his trademark grinning and drooling, welcomed Miller with "Judy, you‘re a hero to the press. You are definitely a woman to be trusted with secrets ..." and started off the interview on a strange, blathering tangent;

I‘m in Los Angeles right now. I‘m up there in a—I was up in a Renaissance Hotel the other night, looking down—actually, when I got up this morning—seeing this whole city, crowded city, below me. Is it safe?

Matthews, fawning over Miller, continued his line of questioning the former White House shrill about the recent NIE report and the alleged strengthening of Al Qaeda.

Not once did Matthews, his cranium firmly squeezed into Miller's behind, question his guest about her role in spreading the lies and misinformation coming out of the Bush Grindhouse in the run-up to invading and occupying Iraq

Another point Abrams was upset about was the network teased and ran promos for Matthews show, and specifically his interview with Miller, offering the tantalizing prospects of her view and opinion on the commutation of Scooter Libby's sentence and incarceration.

Without asking her a single question about Libby, that Miller could have answered or chosen not to answer, Matthews gushed;

MATTHEWS: Judy, I believe in you. You‘re great. And by the way, I didn‘t ask you about Scooter Libby because—because the president didn‘t ...let‘s make it clear what happened here. If he had pardoned the guy, we could talk because there‘d be no further legal action against him. But because he‘s now floating around there in limbo, as the guy with clemency commutation but still appealing his case, you can‘t talk about the case.

MILLER: That‘s right.

MATTHEWS: I completely understand that. I sympathize with you.

MILLER: Thank you, Chris.

MATTHEWS: And I sometimes even sympathize with Scooter Libby.

"If this is how Chris plays hardball," an agitated Abrams fumed, "than we have to sit down and have a talk ... Either that, of he can pack his bags and move over to Fox News."

In a related story, unconfirmed reports have former MSNBC host Rita Cosby, recently losing out on a World Wonder title, was said to be stalking the graveyard where Anna Nicole Smith is buried, badgering workers and visitors. Cosby, it was said, still hopes to revive the deal with Abrams, to launch a 24-hour Anna Nicole Smith channel.

Links

Watch Video of Judy Miller plays Hardball with Chris Matthews

Hardball with Chris Matthews' for July 18 Read the transcript to the Wednesday show

Miller To Leave 'Times' With Movie Deal In Hand; Signs On To Star In Memento Sequel; Not Sure If She Will Continue Freelancing For Bush Admn.

Bonus Links

Editor & Publisher: Judy Miller Defends Leaker -- Of Harry Potter Ending!


Matthews' program could be retitled "Soft Balls On Chris Matthews"

Top Ten Cloves: Ways To Tell Your Next Door Neighbor May Be Conducting Illegal Dogfights

News Item: Falcons' Vick Indicted In Dogfighting Case; Star QB Alleged to Have Been Highly Involved

10. You invite him and his dog over to watch the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show - His dog eats the television

9. Dog collars and leashes are delivered by the crate

8. Passes off the huge fighting ring he's built in his basement as having to do with his religion

7. Everytime he passes you when you're walking your little mixed poodle, he sneers at the dog and murmurs "pussy"

6. Piles of blood-soaked towels on the back porch? - Says cuts himself shaving a lot

5. Notice his dogs don't fetch the newspaper, they fetch the newsboy

4. After you confront him about abusing the dogs, he tries to tell you he's "with the CIA and these are Al Qaeda dogs"

3. Claims the non-stop barking and yelping is just him, watching his Lassie DVD collection

2. Has a habit of saying "As you know, you have to go to dogfights with the dogs you have, not the dogs you want,"

1. With all the cars and other dogs coming around at all hours, tries to pass himself off as a "Dog Whisperer"


Bonus Link

ESPN: Legal odds against Vick just got much longer


A Dog's Worst Friend

Of Legacy Maintenance - And Corrections! ... David Corn's "REBUTTAL - Why Bush Is A Loser"

"The Bush-Cheney years have been marked by ineptitude, miscalculation, and scandal. A successful presidency? Bush will be lucky if he gets a public elementary school in his adopted hometown of Crawford, Tex., named after him. He has placed this country in a hole. Yet Kristol, with shovel in hand, points to that hole and says, Trust me -- we're about to strike oil!"

Thank You David Corn!

If the Washington Post can run a big, fat, wet kiss by PNAC founder, Little Billy Kristol, then it is only right for The Nation's David Corn have equal time to bitch slap him down.

Today's WaPo has Corn's REBUTTAL: Why Bush Is A Loser to counter balance Kristol's ON THE BRIGHT SIDE: Why Bush Will Be A Winner.

And bitch slap is being nice about it.

"Iraq: Kristol says "we now seem to be on course to a successful outcome." The war has been a mess from the start, and these days even leading Republican senators no longer buy the argument that Bush's so-called "surge" is succeeding or can succeed as promised. Kristol contends that with the recent escalation "we are increasingly able to protect more of the Iraqi population." Many in Iraq would find little comfort in his assurances. Despite the "surge," Iraqi civilian deaths are still running at 2,500 to 3,000 a month. And since the "surge" began, according to the Pentagon's own numbers, the number of attacks on U.S. and Iraqi forces and Iraqi civilians has marginally increased."

"Afghanistan: Steady as she goes, says Kristol. Well, not if you're one of those dozens of civilians who seem to be killed every few days in an errant attack from NATO and western forces. (Even Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai is fed up.)"

"Foreign policy: Kristol does not mention that, thanks to Bush's misadventure in Iraq and other missteps, the United States' image abroad is in the sub-basement. He does note that we now have decent relations with Brazil."

"It's remarkable what Kristol leaves out of his bizarro-world view of Bush the Great: Hurricane Katrina, the collapse of the Justice Department, global warming, and much else. An American city was practically destroyed on Bush's watch, but that merits no consideration in Kristol's case for Bush. The Justice Department -- run by Bush cronies accused of corruption, incompetence, or both -- is in tatters."

The Garlic weighed in on this Sunday, with our Takes A Neocon To Raise A Legacy ... They're Drinking The Kool-Aid Again ..., which also covered the bonus of Stephen Hayes' fellatio of Dick Cheney.

The Bush Grindhouse, and the gang of dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds, are going to keep coming out of their bunkers, attempting to rewrite history, slapping new paint on the irreparable legacies, that only washes off, much like a scam artists' cheap driveway "retarring" job, with the first drops of rain that fall in it.

Don't hesitate, whenever and wherever you see it, when they start yapping as such, to bitch slap them down.

Bonus Links

David Corn's Website

Analysis: Intelligence Puts Rationale For War on Shakier Ground

Glenn Greenwald: The tragic collapse of America's standing in the world

Little Billy Kristol

Retro Garlic: I'm Surprised It Wasn't Headlined As "Mormon Candidate Ties To Cosmetic Industry Exposed"

If a Democrat running for President spent $300 on makeup, you can bet your Ann Coulter eye-patch that The Politico, Fox Noise and all the gang over at the Freak Show would have been all over it, knee-deep and calling for more shovels.

Headlines and chyrons screaming "Mormon Candidate Ties To Cosmetic Industry Exposed" and "Makeup Mitt" the title of one of those "I Feel Pretty" YouTube videos.

There'd be Fox Noise satellite trucks criss-crossing Utah, 24/7 on this.

And the money quote;

"He's already tan," she said. "We basically put a drop of foundation on him … and we powdered him a little bit."

Oh man, if it were a Dem, they'd be going to town on that.

And that, more or less, is what the inexhaustible Glenn Greenwald points out today, in his "The Politico sewer", as the Drudge-Wannabe had the Mitt makeup story front-and-center.

But with Mitt being a Republican, no echo chamber on the piece. The second gallery has been deafening silent.

As to the Retro part, go back to May, when Greenwald wrote, more so, exposed, who and what is behind The Politico;

The Politico's DNA ... The Other Iraq ... And He's a Bible-Thumper Now ... Around The Garlic Patch

Weigh in, but only after your nails are dry.

Makeup Mitt

Boy, I'll Bet David Vitters Wished He Could Have Invoked Executive Privilege ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

It certainly isn't going to help Senator David Vitters (R-LA) that his Commander Guy may think, as our Garlic Poll Voters suggest, that "Executive Privilege" is the name of the escort service he frequented.

Hey, at least it was a "straight" escort service, and the Holy Rollers won't have deprogram him.

And it could be understandable, especially if The Decider didn't bother to check it out on "The Google".

He's free-falling in the polls, he is still purposefully conflating who exactly we are fighting in Iraq - Al Qaeda or the Al Qaeda Wannabe's, and, our Shakespeare Guy thinks that, maybe, someone in his administration might have leaked Valerie Plame's name and status and his Security Chief's heartburn is divulging sensitive information.

But if our Court-Appointed-President is confused with the term "Executive Privilege", he is no stranger to "State Secrets Privilege", as he, and his strong-armed vice president, have virtually encased this administration in cement (I mean, it could play out that, by the time they leave office - which hopefully will come via Impeachment - who are 43rd President was may be wiped from the records and sealed for eternity).

Maybe the Bush Grindhouse will throw Vitters a lifeline ... I don't know, perhaps the could release a new report, that breathlessly cautions, with full-fear-jets blasting, that Al Qaeda is coming after us...

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll July 2 - July 8 2007

President Bush believes that Executive Privilege is ...

1. The name of the DC Madame's business Tally 29%

2. A really cool desk gadget from The Sharper Image Tally 27%

3. Some ''Ek-A-Lec-Tic'' thing Cheney keeps ranting about in meetings Tally 24%

4. Doesn't know: Regrets missing those classes at Yale Tally 20%


This week’s Poll - The reason President Bush didn't fire Michael Chertoff was ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Bonus Links

Think Progress: The Ever Changing Definition of ‘Mission’ In Iraq

Crooks and Liars: Bush blames Saddam for the US attack of Iraq and says: “there is a war fatigue in America”