The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged.

Man, this has to be a double-bummer for the First Lady.

Probably was looking forward to curling up on the sofa, box of Godiva Chocolate within arms' length and flicking on the tube to catch perhaps Burl Ives' Great Easter Bunny, or that Fred Astaire-Judy Garland pic with all the nice songs.

But no, those darn terrorists - that bunch from Al Qaeda that George and Dick say where in Iraq even before we invaded and occupied the country - have to go and spoil the entire weekend.

It's all Nancy Pelosi's fault... Running around over there in Syria, stirring up all kinds of trouble, ruining the First Lady's Easter.

Todays Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Chlorine truck bomber kills 27 in Ramadi

Links

Laura Bush: Much Of Iraq Is ‘Stable,’ There’s Just ‘One Bombing A Day That Discourages Everybody’

Brookings Institute Iraq Index

CNN Larry King - Interview With Laura Bush/"The Lost Tomb of Jesus"

Laura Bush: My husband never misled about Iraq

New Feature - The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Friday, March 09, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Friday, March 16, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Tuesday, March 20, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Wednesday, March 28, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

No Easter Parade for this First Lady, as long as those bombings keep cropping up on her television

Editor's Note - Getting Back On Track

Good Afternoon Garlic Fans

We hope you are having a great Easter Weekend.

Once again, apologies all around for the lack of posts this past week.

Along with the previously-referenced sinus and allergy difficulties, this writer also had to deal with a very unexpected death in the family, which, as you can quite understand, left absolutely no time for maintaining ones' writing schedule.

We are getting back on track today, with a handful of posts and, be sure to tune in tomorrow, Sunday 8 April, for a special Easter Essay (Christ Slept Here: A Tale of Easter).

Once again, thank you for your support
Peace
JTD

Look No Further, Your Handy Baseball Primer

Ahhhh ... The smell of pine tar ... The roar of the crowd ...

Yes, it's back ... Baseball season is upon us and already, The Garlic has a scoop.

President Bush couldn't throw out the first pitch today, at the Washington Nationals home opener ... his arm was sore after tossing out those eight U.S. Attorneys.

While the rest of Washington is eyeballing and picking over the latest financials of the presidential candidates, the rest of America is sharpening their pencils, on the ready to record every twitch, movement, dropped fly, missed bunt and 6-4-3 double-play that takes place on the field of dreams around the country.

Don't be left out of the action (or, to get in the spirit of things, left in the on-deck circle). The Garlic today reprises one if its' most popular posts, and as Sonny Earl said, "the best darned baseball primer on the world wide web."

We present for your edification and enjoyment;

Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?

And boy, did we get letters

Look What They're Saying! Readers Write In On Baseball Piece

More Letters on The Garlic’s Baseball Piece: Look What They're Saying Redux!

More Letters on The Garlic’s Baseball Piece!

World Series Prompts More Baseball Letters

Other Garlic Baseball Riffs

Wheaties Official Breakfast Cereal of MLB; Box To Feature Steroids

With Red Sox and Yankees Bounced, MLB Postpones Playoffs

Iraqis Pause Vote Count To Celebrate Chisox Pennant

Iraq Pulls Late Switch On Voters; Will Follow Red Sox And Have Two Presidents

South Dakota Not Waiting, Bans All Home Runs

Politics and Sports Collide; Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush

Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone

Hey, Wait A Minute ... We're Not Falling For That One Again ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

Considering the mess the Bush Administration is in, you, kind of, have to wonder why they haven’t resorted to their brand of patriotism again, i.e. outing a covert CIA Agent, as the majority of Garlic Poll Voters believe is what will happen.

After all, there are multitudes of critics, challenging, not only their policy, but also their veracity.

Surely somebody, somewhere, in the bowels of the CIA had to be "fair game" and fair enough to divert attention, as well as change headlines and conversations away from the Bush "Well, We Call It Justice" Department

Perhaps, Cheney's Cheney, new Vice President Chief of Staff David Addington, seeing how they cut Scooter Libby loose, wasn't going to be the fall guy during a second run-through.

And, no doubt, he's watched, anxiously, with beads of sweat accumulating on his forehead, as President Bush has let his Crony General swing and twist in the Congressional winds.

No, the Scooter is reading up on license-plate-making and Brownie is long past his "heck-of-a-job".

The lies and spins are casting such a shadow on the White House, they may just have to stop doctoring the reports and believe there really is something to this climate changing thing.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll March 26 - March 31, 2007

Boy, the way this thing is going, President Bush may have no better option with what to do with Crony General Alberto Gonzales than to ...

1. Have Vice President Dick Cheney leak and out another CIA covert agent to get him out of the headlines Tally 45%

2. Make him sit down for a biting, hard-hitting interview with Katie Couric Tally 24%

3. Nominate him to succeed John Bolton as U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Tally 18%

4. Send him to Reverend Ralph, to give him the cure (something like he did for Ted Haggard) Tally 12%

This Week’s Poll - President Bush's advice to Tony Blair and the British, regarding their Iran Hostage Situation should include ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged.

Well, we don't think that the First Lady will be taking any strolls through Baghdad with Senator John McCain in the near future - even if her husband has a pipeline to what's really going down, via some Iraqi bloggers (which, may, or may not, draw the ire of Catholic League President Bill Donohue).

No, if Laura wants bombing-free TV, she's going to have to sneak down, during the dead of night, to the Oval Office and steal all the pens. No pens, no veto (not that the Chief Decider is exactly versed in issuing vetoes). The time line to pull out goes in and the First Lady's discouragement melts away

Todays Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Dozens Killed in Revenge Attack in Iraq


Links

Laura Bush: Much Of Iraq Is ‘Stable,’ There’s Just ‘One Bombing A Day That Discourages Everybody’

Brookings Institute Iraq Index

CNN Larry King - Interview With Laura Bush/"The Lost Tomb of Jesus"

Laura Bush: My husband never misled about Iraq

New Feature - The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Friday, March 09, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Friday, March 16, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Tuesday, March 20, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Perhaps, thanks to the Congress, the First Lady will have bombing-free TV back and be sans any discouragement

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Katie Couric Could Have Made The Edwards Interview Better

News Item: Et tu, Katie Couric?

10. Cooking - Get the Edwards to whip up some of their favorite dishes

9. Twisting her face with empathy, show the Edwards her video of getting a colonoscopy

8. More confrontational - For their decision to move forward with the campaign, attack the Edwards as being "glib"

7. Always a ratings-grabber - Complete makeover for Elizabeth Edwards

6. Pose the question that "Some people" feared the 60-Minutes signature ticking TAG Heuer stopwatch would "creep them out"

5. Could have brought out Mr. Gadget, to show off all the cool new medical devices

4. With that piercing faux sincerity, ask the Edwards if they blame their bloggers for the new bout of cancer

3. Ask Elizabeth Edwards if she thinks her cancer is the bad karma for her husband voting for the Iraq War

2. Live segment, with Edwards on the campaign trail, billed as "Where In The World Is John Edwards"

1. Why, what a coincidence ... Rush Limbaugh just happens to be in the studio, to tape another 'Free Speech" segment

"No Dick, Not Again ... They'll Never Go For it" ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

Most interesting, as, just when you thought he was out, they pulled him right back in.

Crony General Alberto Gonzales must be ducking when pigeons fly over, he's got some many people gunning for his head.

But, the Chief Decider hasn't decided on letting him loose ... For loyalty? Or, does "Fredo" know where too many of the skulls and bones are buried.

With his Chief of Staff Kyle Sampson testifying this week, and his Chief Council Monica Goodling promising to take the Fifth, the biggest twist since Chubby Checker is gathering momentum, Crony General Gonzales is beginning to look like the geeky kid in the class, in an attempt to emulate the bullies, fires a spitball, but then, the whole class gets up and points him out to the teacher.

And who will the Chief Decider replace him with? Who can be counted on to continue the Bush policy of trampling the Constitution and building his Imperial Presidency? The Garlic Poll voters didn't have sand thrown in their eyes, they know who will be called upon. They know who will step in to serve his country, but only after an exhaustive search.

After all, you gotta make it look good ... You can be obvious, but not blatantly obvious ...

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll March 18 - March 24, 2007

For President Bush to remove, either by firing, or accepting the resignation of his Crony General Alberto Gonzales, the race is on as to who will the Chief Decider will pick to replace him, so the choice is ...

1. He'll have Dick Cheney form a committee to find a new Attorney General and then Cheney will pick himself Tally 41%

2. Senator Joe Lieberman (R/I -CT) Tally 35%

3. Former FEMA Director Michael "He'll Do A Heck-of-a-Job" Brown Tally 16%

4. Former Assistant to the President for Domestic Policy Claude "I Have I Receipt For That" Allen Tally 8%


This week’s Poll - Boy, the way this thing is going, President Bush may have no better option with what to do with Crony General Alberto Gonzales than to ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Editor's Note - Sorry For The Light Posting

Good Evening Garlic Fans

A thousand-and-one apologies for the light posting over the past week. It's been a somewhat rough period.







In addition to dealing with a full-fledged sinus infection (hopefully an isolated incident and not a harbinger for the Spring that is upon us), there's been a few real life, non-blog issues that have required attention.

So, it's been the case of either being too tired and not of clear thinking, or just jammed up for time that has impacted the posting. And it may be a day, or two, before full posting resumes.

In the event there is no fresh satire to romp through, bear with it and take some time to scroll down the Right Column to check out the 'Day In History' , other highlighted posts or the many links The Garlic offers to other great writing.

Many Thanks Again, for your support of The Garlic
Peace
JTD

Top Ten Cloves: Expected Republican and Freakshow Blowback Against John and Elizabeth Edwards

News Item: Cancer Worsening, Edwards's Wife Says

10. After Matt Drudge weighs in, she'll have even more toxins to deal with

9. James Dobson and Ralph Reed will rally both the Indian Casinos and Christian Right against the Edwards

8. Armitage, Cheney and Rove leak Edward's medical records to Robert Novak, who prints them

7. Sen. James Inhofe (R-OK) immediately blames Mrs. Edward's cancer on Al Gore

6. New platform for Catholic League President Bill Donohue to rant and blame fired Edwards' bloggers

5. Rush Limbaugh claims she's faking it

4. Dick Cheney brands her a traitor, saying getting treatment for her cancer will validate the al Qaeda strategy

3. Ann Coulter says that Edward's is probably glad his wife has cancer and that he's probably going to divorce her

2. Fox News' John Gibson and Bill O'Reilly begin a war against chemotherapy during Christmas and Easter

1. Newt Gingrich will say that Elizabeth Edwards was too dumb to get out of the way of getting cancer

Go Get'em Girl!

Top Ten Cloves: Other Conditions President Bush Has To Allow Rove and Meirs To Testify Before Congress

News Item: Indications of Obfuscation

10. Let's make it "Rock, Paper, Scissors", but I gotta warn ya, Harriet, there, has some serious puños de la piedra

9. Don't even bother trying to ask Rove about "The Math", he won't answer any of those questions

8. For every day you don't accept my terms, we'll send you another 3,000 pages

7. It will have to be like Jeopardy - You guys give the answers and then Karl and Harriet will have to answer in the form of question or be penalized

6. We won't give you Rove, or Miers, but we will let you question Lynne Cheney ... She'll have a few things to say to ya, all right

5. Questioning must be outsourced to Halliburton

4. Tony Snow will have to be in the room, when you question Rove and Miers, and, the first question you ask that makes Snow bang his head on the podium, we're outta there!

3. Leahy again ... Get Dick down here and have him deal with Leahy ... Like he did before

2. To be fair and balanced, will let Fox News host the questioning

1. Sticking to "no oath, no transcript" but will allow Congress to use pantomimes to record questioning


Leahy again ... Get Dick down here and have him deal with Leahy ... Like he did before

Top Ten Cloves: Things Not Anticipated About Grand Canyon Skywalk

News Item: Tribe Set to Open Grand Canyon Skywalk

10. Had to spend millions clearing loose stones from the area

9. Possible bad vibe, as horseshoe design was modeled after one of the late Barbero's shoes

8. Will have to increase security, to keep Bungee Jumpers off the Skywalk

7. Worried that research showed people won't pay $25 to stand on Skywalk, but, from the safety of their homes, using their computers, get same view via Google Earth

6. Perverts flocking to base of Grand Canyon, under the Skywalk, equipped with high-powered zoom lenses

5. Already budget problems - Didn't factor in how much Windex they would need to keep it clean

4. Microsoft serving injunction, preventing them from using the word "Vista" in describing views from Skywalk

3. Talks with Super Bowl Champion Indianapolis Colts, to promote Grand Canyon Skywalk by wearing glass helmets next season, not going well

2. Other Indian casinos taking heavy betting on when glass skywalk cracks or breaks

1. Not sure of the confluence of energy that will take place if Philip Glass and Ira Glass show up on same day to take tour

Links

Grand Canyon Skywalk


Already budget problems - Didn't factor in how much Windex they would need to keep it clean

The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged.

As we announced previously, The Garlic will be presenting The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day as an on-going feature.

This had to be a double-bummer for the First Lady, coming on the day of the 4th Anniversary of her husbands' invasion and occupation of Iraq.

Did she watch last evening, or was she busy, celebrating the anniversary? Has the President noticed his wife being bummed out every day, by that one bombing a day she sees on television? Does he comfort her? Has she asked him to stop, and get out of Iraq?

Will she, eventually, just stop watching television? Or will the developing scandal of her husbands' Crony General captivate her, leading her to pronounce "Much of the Administration is stable ... But of course, what we see on television is the one fired U.S. Attorney that discourages everybody ..."

Todays Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Iraqi Army Post Destroyed By Bombs in Anbar Province

Links

Laura Bush: Much Of Iraq Is ‘Stable,’ There’s Just ‘One Bombing A Day That Discourages Everybody’

Brookings Institute Iraq Index

CNN Larry King - Interview With Laura Bush/"The Lost Tomb of Jesus"

Laura Bush: My husband never misled about Iraq

New Feature - The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Friday, March 09, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Friday, March 16, 2007 - The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Is the First Lady looking for a way not to be bummed out any longer?

Garlictorial: The 4th Anniversary, Or "How I Invaded and Occupied Iraq and All I Got Were These Lousy Iranian Bombs"

Boy, has the Legacy Shopping taken a big hit these last few weeks.

Emboldened to eschew the Iraq Study Group, not to mention the November 06 election mandate from "we the people", our Court Appointed President and his gang, er, Administration had it all figured out.

Throw, or, in their words, "surge" more troops into the Civil War, club down the centuries-old hatred and violence in mere months, then order the bunting for the unveiling of George W. Bush Boulevard in downtown Baghdad.

Legacy all wrapped up. The remaining days in office can be spent going over the Bush Library donor list, to hit them again, notifying them that the price of the legacy has gone up.

Funny thing, in order to go Legacy Shopping you have to, kind of, done something.

Something good. Something selfless. Something that betters others. Something for the common good.

Instead, we've had a six-year (with the camera still running) John Carpenter film, the daily takes, be they from Iraq or Washington, getting grimmer and grimmer as this movie plays on.

Shock and Awe had quickly spiraled into "Aw, Shucks", as pillar after pillar of their false claims to go to war in Iraq crumbled, only later to see whatever integrity they had left crumble from the winds of Katrina.

Lies to protect the "Aw Shucks" turned into criminal charges, which turned into "Aw, Shit" after Dana Priest and The Washington Post visited the Walter Reed Medical Center Outpatient section, which turned into "Aw, Double Shit" as soon as Karl Rove, Harriet Meirs and Crony General Alberto Gonzales huddled around and chanted "Romper, bomper, stomper boo. Tell me, tell me, tell me, do. Magic mirror, tell me today. Which U.S. Attorneys get to stay?"

Oh, Lordy, Lord, but for the good, old days, when a lame duck president did little more that cutting ribbons at some memorial opening ceremony, have photo-op festivals with other world leaders who knew they were a lame duck and dread the opening of baseball season, when they knew they would be mercilessly booed throwing out the first pitch.

But these Bushies have drive. They are staying the course. It's Legacy, or Bust, nothing inbetween, nothing short of that.

It will be fascinating to watch, as they claw at the air, desperate to latch on to a thread of Legacy, something they can trumpet as victory.

And we've seen the signals of a new Legacy-maker being auditioned, White House Central Casting knocking on Iran's door with the five-minute warning, admonishing them to be sure to hit their marks and to stay to the written script.

They don't want to leave town with having set the Middle East ablaze and no parting gifts to tote away.

Hey, wait a minute, that's a Legacy, right?

Links

Iraq at Four Years: The Past is Indeed Prologue

The Ides of March 2003

Four Years Later... And Counting

McClatchy Newspapers: Iraq Cost in Blood and Dollars

Transcript: President Bush Delivers Remarks on the War in Iraq

Garlictorial - We’ll Need That Table


Excuse me, but is that a legacy in your pocket or you just glad to see me?

"Karl, We're Going to Have Harriet Coach You For The Grand Jury This Time, Okay? ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

Oh what a tangled web they weave, when they practice ... Well, just about anything they do ... Their entire Administration has had the look of Spiderman, testing out a new Web Shooter for the past six-years.

The 'they" of course is our Chief Decider, and the debacle that it's turning into over his “Politically Dead Man Walking" Crony General and the politicially-motivated firing of eight U.S. Attorneys.

They've already offered a Rubek's Cube of excuses, even falling back on "hazy memories" and "Does it matter who comes up with an idea?" The glowing fingerprints of Karl Roves are shining through this, like a cheap, Grade-B murder mystery, who knows what they will attempt to spin next

First Dog Barney might want to think about hiding out in the East Wing for the upcoming few weeks.

Assuming the inevitable happens, either this week or next, who does the Chief Decider decide on who replaces his former Crony General?

Who better, if only to piss off the Democrats and sail through the confirmation hearings, then the Independent Crony from Connecticut, Joe Lieberman?

Since one of the qualifications to be a U.S. Attorney in the Bush Administration Justice Department is loyality, Lieberman is a natural, having been a former state attorney general and he was most open about it - the loyalty-to-Bush thing - with "The Kiss" and his Plan C campaign last year.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll March 10 - March 17, 2007

If it turns out that Karl Rove was the mastermind of firing the U.S. Attorneys, President Bush will ...

1. If a Grand Jury is convened, urge Rove to break his record and testify six times Tally 48%

2. See if Scooter Libby will take the fall for this one too Tally 28%

3. Make Tony Snow hold Press Briefings, saying Rove wasn't involved at all Tally 24%

4. Line Rove up for a Medal of Freedom Award Tally 0%

This week’s Poll - For President Bush to remove, either by firing, or accepting the resignation of his Crony General Alberto Gonzales, the race is on as to who will the Chief Decider will pick to replace him, so the choice is ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote


Does Lieberman wake up from his kiss the new Attorney General?

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 18 March 2007

Former Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz said that the 4th anniversary celebration of the war in Iraq "should pay for itself"


Former U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations John Bolton indicated he may toss his hat into the ring, to become the next Attorney General once Crony General Gonzales is fired or leaves, saying, "They want to fire some attorneys? I'll fire them alright! I'll boot their asses out the door so hard they'll have my shoe imprint for months!"
















Rita Cosby, recently let go by MSNBC, called a news conference to announce that she'll be "super live and real direct" if she ever catches Dan Abrams in a dark alley


Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban announced he plans on sitting with his arms folded, "for as long as it takes" until Google gives up the names of persons using copyrighted material on Google Video and YouTube








Former Senator and actor Fred Thompson dismissed criticism of his possible run for president, saying "it takes a big pair of brass ones to be President and I got'em"










Thompson then immediately said that one of his rivals, Congressman Duncan Hunter "doesn't have'em!"

























Said by White House insiders that she is still bitter over her aborted Supreme Court nomination, Harriet Miers is fighting to hold back emails in the U.S. Attorney Firing investigation, as there may be a few where she is said to have explored the options on firing President Bush

The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged.

As we announced previously, The Garlic will be presenting The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day as an on-going feature.

We might be able to assume that the First Lady is helping the Chief Decider figure out just what to do about his Crony General, Alberto Gonzales, so we're not sure she got discouraged with the news broadcast last evening.

Then, she may double-dip in her disappointment, after Valerie Plame finishes testifying today to the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.

No doubt it's likely to bum out the President and Vice President, that is, if they're not to busy, scurrying through emails they may have sent to, or received regarding the firing of the eight U.S. Attorneys.


Todays Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Roadside Bomb Kills 4 U.S. Troops in Baghdad

Links

Laura Bush: Much Of Iraq Is ‘Stable,’ There’s Just ‘One Bombing A Day That Discourages Everybody’

Brookings Institute Iraq Index

CNN Larry King - Interview With Laura Bush/"The Lost Tomb of Jesus"

Laura Bush: My husband never misled about Iraq

New Feature - The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Friday, March 09, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

March 13, 2007 The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day

Top Ten Cloves: How It Would Be Different If Alberto Gonzales Was The Head of March Madness

News Item: Mad About the Madness, and the Travesties, the Snubs and All the So-Called Experts

10. Issue memo okaying torture of mascots

9. At least one team would get bumped, in favor of another team that Karl Rove liked

8. If his favorite team loses, he would invoke the Patriot Act to reverse the score and give them the win

7. Cheney defends Gonzales, saying any criticism of him "will validate the strategy of al-Qaeda"

6. At halftime of championship game, Scooter Libby gets half-court shot - If he sinks it, he gets his pardon

5. Senator John McCain would be indicted for illegal gambling, for for his campaign website contest

4. Andrea Mitchell would back whatever Gonzales does, probably because she was drunk again

3. Laura Bush would back Gonzales and opine that "Many parts of tournament are stable ahh..now. But, of course, what we see on television is the one loss a day that discourages everybody."

2. Defend his actions of bumping teams from the tournamnet because "they play at the pleasure of the President"

1. It would come out Gonzales, and the White House, has a plan to replace all 64 teams with colleges that are more aligned with Bush Administration policies

Bonus Links

Special Report: Rough Justice - The Case Against Alberto Gonzales

Part I: Alberto Gonzales: A Willing Accessory at Justice

Part II: Alberto Gonzales, Presidential Enabler

Part III: Alberto Gonzales: The "Empty Suit" AG

If Alberto Gonzales was in charge of March Madness, At least one team would get bumped, in favor of another team that Karl Rove liked

Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

Well, if you’re on the Bush Team, the bright side of this is that it's gotten the Walter Reed Scandal off the front pages.

On the downside, for all of us, we peel off another layer of the corruption running rampant with Bush & Co., which, if you haven't been listening carefully, is not a scandal at all, but rather "at the pleasure of the President". If you're one of those eight U.S. Attorneys fired, it surely hasn't been a pleasure for them.

So, we now elevate Attorney General Alberto Gonzales to the status of some of his colleagues, and turn to Cole Porter to provide the AG with his own, new theme song


Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

When the only sound from those fired attorneys
is the heavy mumbles of the Democrat lackeys
that blathers on non-stop
I open shop

This AG so long has been gazing down
on the warward ways of this wayward town
her smile becomes a smirk, I go to work

Justice for sale
appetizing young Justice for sale
Justice thats fresh and still unspoiled
Justice thats only slightly soiled
Justice for sale

who will buy
who would like to sample my supply
who's prepared to pay the price
While I turn a blind eye
Justice for sale

let the press pipe of Justice
in their childish ways
I know every type of Justice
better far than they
if you want the thrill of Justice
I've been through the mill of Justice
old Justice
new Justice
every Justice but true Justice

Justice for sale
appetizing young Justice for sale
if you want to buy my wares
follow me to the White House stairs
Justice for sale


Links

Listen To A Clip of Elaine Delmar Singing "Love For Sale"

Cole Porter

Love for Sale (Cole Porter song)

Overblown Personnel Matters

Royal Flush: The purge of U.S. attorneys (partially) explained.


Other Bush Administration Garlic Songs

New Bush Theme Song - Baghdad, With The Surge On Tap

Blair and Cheney Sing A Duet: 'Blair, It's Not So Bad Out There'

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Our Girl Condi Gets A Theme Song - Neocons and Lovers

Whatever you say Boss!

Cosby Out At MSNBC But Still In Running For World Wonder Title

Smith Funeral Coverage Pushes Former Raspy-Voiced Anchor Ahead of Great Wall of China, But Trailing Pyramids of Giza

It's often said by optimists, that when one door closes, another door opens.

For MSNBC anchor Rita Cosby, she's now wishing that the open door is the portal to a new world title.

MSNBC announced that Cosby is being let go, canceling their plans for a 24-Hour Anna Nicole Smith channel that she was pegged to anchor.

At the same time, in a confluence of fate, Cosby is headed towards being a finalist in the contest voting on a new set of the Seven Wonders of the World.

Abrams: "Can't Count On White Woman Going Missing, or Dying Suddenly" To Justify Cosby Contract

With her contract expiring on April 1, 2007, Cosby was informed that it was not going to be renewed.

This was the second blow to Cosby, who last year, had her "Rita Cosby Live and Direct," replaced by the networks justice filler, 'Doc Blocks". Cosby languished, sparking briefly when former JonBenet Ramsey murder suspect John Mark Karr surfaced surfaced and, more recently, with her coverage of the Anna Nicole Smith case.

MSNBC President Dan Abrams confirmed Cosby's departure, with her last day being March 31st.

"It's just the pressure of the business," lamented Abrams. "Rita has a certain set of skills. We can't count on a white woman going missing, or one that dies suddenly, occuring enough to make the kind of investment like the 24-Hour Smith channel

In yet another measure of irony, when Cosby first joined MSNBC, coming from the Fox News Network, then President Rick Kaplin bumped the poster of Abrams in the main lobby, to accommodate Cosby's.

Abrams denied he was letting Cosby go, just to reclaim his poster's main lobby location.

Raspy, Husky Voice Cited In World Wonder Voting

Cosby was initially stunned to find that she was in the running for a World Wonder title.

Contest founder Bernard Weber was also, but as the votes poured in, the decision was made to let it go, to see how far she could rise.

"I was surprise, yes," said Weber, in a telephone interview with The Garlic. "I had no idea who she was. But there were many, many votes pouring in, and people marveling that her voice had to be a world wonder."

For much of Cosby's career, on-camera, she was noted, and criticized, for having a raspy, husky voice.

"There was a surge of voting, during that Anna Nicole Smith thing going on," added Weber. "It pushed her past the Great Wall of China, but still trailing the Pyramids in Giza.

Cosby, since taking a forced vacation that was a prelude to her dismal, has lost the raspiness and is speaking in a normal tone of voice.

"Gosh," said Cosby, "I like the voice I have now, but, if it means going the distance to get one of those World Wonder titles, I'll start chain-smoking and eating glass, if I have to."

Both Cosby and Weber dismissed Cosby's contest voting popularity due to a "suitcase full of rocks" that former MSNBC colleague Keith Olbermann offered as a measure on how dumb Cosby may be.

"No," said Weber, "We already have the Acropolis, Stonehenge and other locations in the contest, we don't need any more rocks."

Links

Welcome to the election of the New 7 Wonders of the World

Rita Cosby, American Hero










Headier days for Rita Cosby, chasing down murder suspects.

Cosby has been bounced from MSNBC and now awaits voting to become a finalist in the New 7 Wonders of the World contest