Top Ten Cloves: Other Ways NBC Thought About Announcing They Were Calling Iraq A Civil War

News Item: This Just In: Matt Lauer Says Iraq in Midst of Civil War

10. Thought about putting it in one of the “Deal Or No Deal” briefcases, but couldn’t predict when that one would be picked

9. With Jack Welch finally gone, they could take a few chances without being yelled at

8. Was going to have Brian Williams apologize for the delay in calling it a Civil War

7. One Hour Special of Tim Russert holding up his little white board with the words “Civil War” written on it

6. Patricia Arquette came to them with a premonition

5. New Thursday night “Must-Account-For-Civil-War-TV!

4. Hardball’s Chris Matthews was nearly foaming at the mouth against calling it a Civil War, so we knew we had to go the other way

3. Three-episode storyline in new show “Friday Night Lights”

2. CNBC’s Jim Kramer had been ranting for weeks “Booyah! Civil War” and news division thought there might be something to it

1. Was waiting for Katie Couric to leave before making the announcement

New Thursday night “Must-Account-For-Civil-War-TV!

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 3 December 2006

The 4th Annual Beirut Marathon started and finished at the same moment, as the shot from the starter's pistol to begin the race was met with a barrage of gunfire, mortar attacks and car bombs, killing 14, injuring 37 and at least a dozen confirmed kidnappings.

Organizers of the event said they will try it again next year

Russian President Vladimir Putin claims he has an alibi and couldn’t have poisoned Alexander Litvinenko, telling officials that he was having dinner with former NFL star O.J. Simpson and actor Robert Blake

In a related story, the Fox Network and Judith Regan are said to be in discussions with Putin, to have the Russian President appear in a television special, and pen a book, tentatively titled “I Didn’t Kill Anybody ... But If I Did, Here’s How I Would Poison My Critics”

After apologizing last week, for the error of this years’ hurricane season forecast, saying “...We have a confession. We got something wrong," admitting that the stream of "dire predictions" reported earlier in the season "wasn't even close...", NBC Anchor Brian Williams said he was sorry and feels “just awful” about the early-season snowstorm that slammed the Midwest and Northeast on Friday

The Congressman-elect from Minnesota, Keith Ellison, a Muslim, has drawn the ire of the Conservative Right by indicating he will use the Quran during his ceremonial swearing-in

In an effort to see that the situation doesn’t mushroom into a bigger controversy, Ellison has proposed substituting the Quran with Noam Chomsky’s 'Hegemony or Survival: The Imperialist Strategy of the United States’

The State Department admitted today that they were close, very close to conscripting Paris Hilton and Britney Spears and sending them to Buenos Aires, Argentina, to aid and chaperone the Bush Twins, before asking the President’s daughters to leave the country

Okay ... After I meet with Maliki, I come out and say what - “Heck of a job he’s doing” or “He’s the right guy for Iraq”?... And that there are no graceful exits and we’re staying there ... And I should keep on blaming Al Qaeda for all the violence ... What about, do I throw in any mushroom clouds, or blame it all on Rumsfeld...

It's Getting To The Point Of Being Beyond Scary ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Earlier this week, New York Times War Cheerleader Columnist Thomas Friedman had a piece suggesting “We need to face our real choices in Iraq: Either we get out in a phased withdrawal or we start over, reinvade and rebuild from the ground up” (sorry for no tag as we haven’t paid to breech the wall over there at Times Select). Nearly two weeks ago, The Garlic offered “Baker-Hamilton To Say “Start Over”; Reinstall Saddam And Retake Country, This Time With Plans”

This weeks’ Garlic Poll offered choices on how our Court-Appointed President was going to deny that the Iraq War (okay, really the Iraq Invasion and Occupation) has now lasted longer then World War II. Today, New York Times Columnist, the on-the-money Frank Rich asks “Has He Started Talking to the Walls?” (This is primo Rich and a must-read!)

It’s really getting beyond the point of being scary, especially, with just this past week, CAP Bush went out and heatedly blamed Al Qaeda for the over-the-top violence and Michael Browned Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri al-Maliki with “He’s the right guy for Iraq”

Perhaps the majority leaders of the upcoming 110^th Congress needs to engage in some flip-flopping, from what they said during the Midterm campaign, and, before the session starts, head on out to Crate & Barrel or Ikea and see about picking up a very large table.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll November 26 - December 2, 2006

With the War in Iraq now longer than World War II, President Bush will likely...

1. Claim it’s not longer by using Karl Rove’s ‘The Math” Tally 34%

2. Blame the Democrats for counting the calendar, keeping track of it, saying it proves they support the terrorists Tally 32%

3. Prepare a Signing Statement that will say, officially, World War II was longer Tally 25%

4. Consider legislation to ban such references, putting it under the law of the Patriot Act Tally 9%

This week’s Poll - After President Bush receives the Iraq Study Group Report this week, he’ll...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Has He Started Talking to the Walls?

Minced Garlic: New Keith Olbermman Special Comment - Free speech and the delusion of grandeur

Is the Republican Party, forging their way in the new millennium, planning on sustaining themselves by practicing Constitutional Cannibalism?

First, we have our Court-Appointed President chowing down on Habeas Corpus (after grazing on a steady diet of governing via Signing Statements) and now we have the OKOKS (Original King of K Street), former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, looking to sauté Free Speech.

Last night, our anchor-hero, MSNBC Countdown host Keith Olbermann, weighed in with a Special Comment - Free speech and the delusion of grandeur.

Gingrich delivered his comments, ironically, at the Loeb First Amendment Award Dinner in New Hampshire earlier this week. In keeping up with the GOP/RNC theme of fear, talking about terrorism, the OKOKS offered that “we need to "reexamine freedom of speech" in order to "get ahead of the curve before we actually lose a city, which I think could happen in the next decade."

(Emphasis added)

To which Olbermann characterized the speech as an “arsonist give the keynote address at a convention of firefighters.”

“We will adopt rules of engagement that use every technology we can find,” Mr. Gingrich continued about terrorists, formerly communists, formerly hippies, formerly Fifth Columnists, formerly anarchists, formerly Redcoats, “to break up their capacity to use the Internet, to break up their capacity to use free speech.”

Mr. Gingrich, the British “broke up our capacity to use free speech” in the 1770s.

The pro-slavery leaders “broke up our capacity to use free speech” in the 1850s.

The FBI and CIA “broke up our capacity to use free speech” in the 1960s.

It is in those groups where you would have found your kindred spirits, Mr. Gingrich.

He wants to somehow ban the idea.

Even though everyone who has ever protested a movie or a piece of music or a book has learned the same lesson:

Try to suppress it, and you only validate it.

Make it illegal, and you make it the subject of curiosity.

Say it cannot be said, and it will instead be screamed.

In his, once again, ironically, free speech, Gingrich also offered that “I further think, we should propose a Geneva convention for fighting terrorism, which makes very clear that those who would fight outside the rules of law, those who would use weapons of mass destruction, and those who would target civilians are in fact subject to a totally different set of rules, that allow us to protect civilization by defeating barbarism …”

To which Olbermann promptly asks “Well, Mr. Gingrich, what is more “massively destructive” than trying to get us to give you our freedom?”

Olbermann also offers a tremendous, devastating movie quote that frames, quite well, the lunacy of OKOKS Gingrich’s ideology.

“Rallying a nation,” you might say, “to hysteria, to sweep us up into the White House with powers that will make martial law seem like anarchy.”

That’s from the original version of the movie “The Manchurian Candidate” — the chilling words of Angela Lansbury’s character, as she first promises to sell her country to the Chinese and Russians, then reveals she’ll double-cross them and keep all the power herself, waving the flag every time she subjugates another freedom.

Links

Read Free speech and the delusion of grandeur; Keith Olbermann responds to Newt Gingrich’s comments about free speech

(There’s links here to the video, as well as previous night’s report on OKOKS Gingrich’s speech, and the discussion with George Washington University law professor and constitutional law expert Jonathan Turley)

From the Manchester Union Leader - Gingrich raises alarm at event honoring those who stand up for freedom of speech

'Beginning of the end of America'; Olbermann addresses the Military Commissions Act in a special comment

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things Newt Gingrich Would Like To Reexamine

Scroll down the sidebar to read other Minced Garlic posts

Editors Note ... Slacking off there, are ya?

Good Evening Garlic Fans

Just a note to explain the low posting this week.

I’ve been attempting to work and function through, what has turned out to be, one ass-kicking sinus infection. Having chronic allergies, I have in the past been held hostage by them, but after septum surgery, and the year of desensitizing shots, life regained color again. Periodically, I get one from time-to-time and this is just one of those times. I thought I could muscle it aside and keep on stride, but, alas, it won the day

I hope to be back on the case tomorrow morning with a few posts and getting back into the groove (I mean, God, there is just so, so much happening that is just so deliciously ripe for riffing)

Many Thanks, once again, for visiting and reading The Garlic

Peace
JTD

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard While Dick Cheney Was In Saudi Arabia

News Item: Contrary to Previous Reports, Cheney Was ‘Basically Summoned’ By Saudi Crown Prince

10. I think he has the paperwork for one of those CIA Black Hole Prisons, they accepted our RFP

9. With his aide going to trial soon, and that CIA agent suing him, he’s gotta be looking for a country that will take him in and away from extradition

8. That Armstrong woman isn’t with him, so I guess we won’t be doing any hunting while he’s here

7. Watch, I give him less then 15-minutes before he starts in on the King, to back his plan to attack Iran

6. You sure he’s really a conservative? He hasn’t asked yet, for the gay male escort and crystal meth

5. With all the spinning he’s done, he’ll drink a barrel of oil before he calls what’s going on in Iraq a “Civil War”

4. How much you want to bet, before he leaves, he’ll be trying to sell a few cases of that wife of his ... her new book?

3. I don’t care what his Rider Sheet says, we’re not putting Fox News on here ... He can watch Al-Jazeera like everyone else

2. First time they’ve ever used him to deliver the monthly Halliburton kickback

1. No, no your Highness, trust me, the President and myself are not in our final throes

Bag Man or In-The-Bag - You Decide

Top Ten Cloves: Other Things Newt Gingrich Would Like To Reexamine

News Item: Step Away From The Constitution, Mr. Gingrich, And Put Your Hands Where We Can See Them

10. Make note to call Santorum, offer to coach him ... It’s too bad he burned out there

9. Why did Junior pick that gadfly Baker to run the Iraq Study Group, when I, with my superior mind, could have done it?

8. Probably should have titled my book “Owning The Future”, instead of “Winning The Future” ... Owning it has a better ring to it

7. Maybe I should return Cheney’s call, see what he’s up to with his Iran Study Group... If Baker’s not running that one, I’ll take it

6. I should have come out with the “appeasers” and “Hitler” stuff... I had been thinking that for months

5. Hmmm... I’ve had massages before, but not while doing crystal meth, with a gay male escort... Might have to look into that

4. I probably should have been more supportive of Rummy... It’s going to come back and bite me in the ass when I run for President

3. Make a note to talk to someone ... For all I did, they should rename K Street, to Newt Street

2. I sold that Contract For American bullshit, why isn’t anyone listening to me when I say were fighting World War III now?

1. What’s wrong with the Speaker of the House having an extra-marital affair with a congressional employee?

All Points Bulletin: Don't let this man get his hands on the First Amendment

Developing Story - No Slogans or Spin For Bush With New Labeling of Iraq

White House In Quandary Over Calling War On Terror A “Civil War”

WHIG, Lincoln Group Empty; “President Loses All His Slogans, Rhetoric ... Not Enough Time To Ramp Up”

A bitter battle has erupted inside the White House, as major news organizations have begun calling the war in Iraq a “Civil War”, sending President Bush and his aides into a panicked quandary.

Sources tell The Garlic that neither the White House Iraq Group, or the paid public relations firm, the Lincoln Group, are prepared with material, data or slogans for a “civil war”, leaving President Bush stuck with his “Hello, I Must Be Going Policy” - simply denying the policy of “Stay The Course”.

So dark is the mood, one West Wing aide bemoaned that “We can’t use DHS’s Terror Alert System if it’s a civil war ... We completely lose our edge ...”, a reference to the coincidence of terror alerts and bad news related to the Bush Administration.

Within the past few days, news organizations, such as the Los Angeles Times and Newsweek have referred to the Iraq situation as “Civil War”. This morning, on NBC’s Today Program, host Matt Laurer made an announcement on the “change in terminology”

“If the White House were to call it a civil war, they lose the “Either you’re with us, or against us,” said Hildy Johnson, editor of the monthly newsletter “What Did He Say Now?” that tracks and reviews President Bush’s speeches and interviews. “You can’t have the President, now, suddenly shift to saying “You’re with them, or against them” ... Or some such slogan ... It just wouldn’t roll off his tongue the right way.”

There’s also the matter of President Bush, and his administration branding Iraq as “the central front on the war on terror” and that doesn’t mesh with Iraq being ensnared in a violent civil war.”

“They lose the whole ball of wax,” says Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century.

Vice President Dick Cheney, who is heavily invested in the spinning of the Iraq War, is all but ignoring the civil war flare, concentrating on the Iran Study Group he launched recently.

According to Martins, another issue for the President in labeling Iraq being in a civil war is that the White House Iraq Group, and the Lincoln Group don’t have anything in the way of rhetoric and slogans for a civil war.

“WHIG just can’t do it,” laments Martin. “They can’t stop all the hype they’ve been putting out, turn on a dime and ramp up the President to start spouting out some new garbage that goes against everything they have been saying to date ... And the Lincoln Group ... If this is what we get in Iraq after all their positive, pro-USA stories they’ve been planting ...”

Possibly the Iraq Study Group will give the White House the platform to shift gears.

As The Garlic reported, a leaked report on their first draft calls for a “re-do” in Iraq, with reinstalling Saddam Hussein and reinvading the country. Conceivably, in doing it over, the Bush team could avoid the pitfalls that will lead to civil war the second time around.

“Jimmy Baker is nobody’s fool,” added Martins. “If he sees this as a civil war, it’s ”Goodbye Junior and good luck with your legacy... He’s not going down the tubes with this one...”

There are reports that President Bush becomes "enraged" whenever someone refers to the War In Iraq as a "Civil War", lunging at them and even swinging away with some punches, before Secret Service agents wrestle the person the President attacked to ground and arresting them

Top Ten Cloves: Things About The New CIA Personality Test

News Item: CIA Launches Personality Quiz To Recruit New Employees...

10. FBI spreading rumor that CIA On-Line Quiz and recruitment is a ruse to sniff out that Elvis is alive

9. Q. - Discovering that Osama bin Laden was dating Paris Hilton, would that make you more likely or less likely to buy her CD?

8. Some candidates that don’t meet CIA specs are sent over to Homeland Security, to possibly fill their Cyber Security Post

7. That Michael Richards looks to be a promising candidate ... Would be easily trainable to hate and rant against Arabs and Muslims

6. Q. - Do you have a knack for finding missing items? If yes, have you ever found Weapons of Mass Destruction?

5. Operation TomKat running smoothly and, so far, undetected

4. Push to recruit is due to looming deadline, to staff new batch of CIA Black Hole Prisons

3. Agency desperate, under pressure to the code of Karl Rove’s “The Math”

2. Q. - Have you or anyone in your family ever written an Op-Ed essay criticizing President Bush?

1. Q. - President Bush buttons you in a meeting and wants to hear good news. You -

A) Advise the President that is not an area you work in

B) Report that the intelligence gathered doesn’t support his position

C) Say your confused, explaining that Vice President Cheney already has handled it

D) Smile and confidently shout out “Slam Dunk, Mr. President”

The CIA Wants You! - Take The Test

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 26 November 2006

In attempting to spin the horrible news coming out of Iraq, the White House today downplayed the escalating violence and announced a spike in the Iraq economy, with Used Car sales fueling the growth














At the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation conference in Vietnam last week, President Bush suffered another setback, as Mr. Bush only placed as 5^th Runner-up in the fashion show component of the event



















While in Vietnam, the President quietly approved arms and cocaine sales, to a still-to-be-determined country, with the profits held in escrow until Nicaraguan President-elect Daniel Ortega officially takes office, and an opposition group can be launched to overthrow the new President, using the funds from the arms sales to aid in their efforts















Black Friday shoppers got a special surprise if they were in the hunt to buy new tires. Firestone, and soon followed by all major tire makers, offered a new baby, on a First-Come, First-Served-basis (as long as the supply lasted), with the purchase of every pair sold













In yet another program to quell the rising level of violence in Iraq, U.S. and Coalition forces began installing “Kryptonite” fences in key areas. The green-glowing barriers will be accompanied by a major media campaign, warning insurgents that they may be “vulnerable”, with the fences zapping away their strength.

The Pentagon would neither confirm nor deny that the new Kryptonite fences were part of the deal with Disney and will be part of the DisneyBaghdad program currently being built

More Eggnog, Mr. President? ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Heading into the Thanksgiving Day Holiday, probably the person most disappointed in the cancellation of the O.J. Simpson-Fox Television Special and book deal was President Bush. For a few fleeting days, The Juice was running ahead of The Decider as the most hated and scorned person in America (despite a late, running entry from Michael ‘Kramer” Richards)

But our Court-Appointed-President wasn’t relinquishing the title without a fight

"We'll succeed unless we quit,” he said, making the profound analogy between the lessons of Vietnam and his Iraq quagmire

Let’s try that one on for size, especially if the King of Jordan’s prophecy of three civil wars firing up in the Middle East in 2007 comes about (and with his Vice President sulking, in the background, that he can’t start a fourth one in Iran)

More work for the Lincoln Group, sure, but, geesh, having to do all those nasty press conferences ... all the spinning of progress being made...

No doubt, at the cost of an extra AA meeting, or two, the eggnog at the White House was heavily spiked this holiday

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll November 19 - November 25, 2006

President Bush’s biggest worries, returning from Vietnam, and heading into the Thanksgiving Holiday break are ...

1. Fearing he’ll be labeled as “soft of terror”, has had strong feeling not to pardon the Official White House Turkey this year Tally 42%

2. Someone from the White House staff stood in-line for hours to snag him one of the Sony PlayStation 3 units Tally 23%

3. That he got in-and-out of Vietnam without anyone opening up the investigation into his National Guard service Tally 20%

4. Only has about six-weeks with the Lame Duck Majority Congress to push through his War Act against Iran Tally 14%

This week’s Poll - With the War in Iraq now longer than World War II, President Bush will likely...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Holiday!

All of them ... Whatever you are celebrating today ...

Hope it's a blast!

Peace
JTD

Top Ten Cloves: Uses For The Cancelled O.J. Book On Thanksgiving Day

News Item: O.J. says advance spent as book removed from eBay

10. Can’t give your pet dog turkey bones to gnaw on ... So...

9. Hit a pothole on the way to dinner at the in-laws? Just shove it under the oil pan in case it leaks

8. Give it to the squirrels in your backyard, to rip up for winter nesting material

7. Great starter for building that roaring fireplace

6. Even better shovel for cleaning out the fireplace after all that roaring

5. Pages super absorbent and will really mop up all that grease in the turkey tray

4. Something for the children to kick around, playing before dinner

3. Worried about guests slipping on icy sidewalk? Makes a great scoop to spread around the rock salt

2. Hmmm ... With all those after-dinner scraps, you’re going to need to something to push them down the garbage disposal

1. Got a case of the books? Well, break out the chestnuts and let’s get’ a roastin’

Editor’s Note

Perhaps Ruppert Murdoch, Judith Regan, the Fox Network and HarperCollins/ReganBooks could donate the profits they anticipated and projected from their hideous, ill-conceived television special and book to the one positive to come out of this tragic event - The Nicole Brown Foundation

Breaking News! Fox Bounces The Juice and Brings In The Scooter

OJ Out, Libby In, As Fox Looks To Make Lemonade Out Of Their Lemons

Regan Snares Cheney Aide For “If I Leaked ...” Special; No Hush Money But Donation Made To Defense Fund

It may not get the ratings they initially anticipated, but it appears that News Corp, and their Fox Network, if they haven’t jumped out of the frying pan, at least turned it down to a low simmer.

Following a conflagration of condemnation for planning to air a two-hour special next week of the civil court-convicted murderer O.J. Simpson - "If I Did It, Here's How It Happened" and followed by a book of the same title, published by Judith Regan, of another News Corp. property, the ReganBooks division of HarperCollins, News Corp. Chairman and CEO Ruppert Murdoch cancelled both projects.

Sources have told The Garlic that Murdoch’s actions came only after Regan came to him with a last-minute replacement.

I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby.

Running with mainly archival footage from the Fox News Division, and a hastily strung together outline of a novel by Lewis himself, the Fox Network will run “If I Leaked ... Here’s How I Would Have Exposed Covert CIA Agent Valerie Plame” over the same two-days they planned for the Simpson special.

“This is really making lemonade out of lemons,” offered Eddie Mars, editor of Please Shoot Me, the newsletter that tracks the Fox News Channel

“Since this is, pretty much, out there in the public domain,” added Mars, “Fox doesn’t have to offer hush money to the family of Plame and they can still score some decent ratings for the Sweeps.”

Unlike the OJ Special, Libby’s faux Tell-All is being picked up by all the Fox affiliates and, according to a Fox spokesperson, “even non-affiliates are contacting us, asking if they can get the feed.”

ReganBooks will also publish “If I Leaked ... Here’s How I Would Have Exposed Covert CIA Agent Valerie Plame”, though it won’t be ready the day after the special ends, as was planned with the Simpson book.

Regan, who stated she had a personal reason for going with the Simpson television special and book, says she also has a “personal connection” to the Libby case. Regan, in a brief statement alluded to “being exposed and hurt by leaks” and, over the past 24-hours, developing a “strong bond with Mr. Libby.”

Libby’s book will be released, timed, for maximum exposure, the day Vice President Dick Cheney’s former Chief of Staff goes on trial in January, on three indictments for lying to investigators in the Plame Leak Case.

Unconfirmed reports cite that the Fox Network has made a “sizable donation” to the Libby Legal Defense Trust, and as a condition for the access to Libby’s papers and book, former colleague on the White House Iraq Group , and advisor to the Vice President, Mary Matalin will have a “unspecified role” in the television special.

Matalin would offer no comment beyond that “this will really put a punch in our solicitation letters for Scooter.”

Regan, reportedly, attempted to first, along with Libby, sign Vice President Dick Cheney for a special, “If I Was Drunk, Here’s I Would Have Shot My Friend”, however the Vice President’s office turned down the offer.

Regan, though, may have yet another plum for the Fox Network.

Reports say she is close to signing former Seinfeld star Michael Richards, for a television special and book deal that will run in the February 2007 Sweeps, tentatively titled “If I Were A Racist, This Is Now I Would Insult African Americans”

It remains to be seen who is being taken for a ride, with the planned Fox Network-Judith Regan “If I Leaked ... Here’s How I Would Have Exposed Covert CIA Agent Valerie Plame” Scooter Libby Special, a last-minute replacement for the condemned O.J. Simpson program

Minced Garlic - New Keith Olbermann Special Comment: Lessons from the Vietnam War

Jeez, it seems like everyone is taking The Decider to school this week.

We certainly did here on The Garlic, with the results of our Week Garlic Poll.

And there certainly are a growing chorus of voices chipping in and crash-cramming this man with what he needs to know.

With James Baker’s Iraqi Study Group, the White House’s own taking a gander at the situation and now the Pentagon offering their military version of Manny, Moe and Jack, it’s beginning to look like a pilot for a new, Saturday afternoon, PBS gameshow - “Quick, Quick, Somebody Give Me The Answer.”

And tonight, our Ace Anchor Hero Keith Olbermann, of MSNBC’s ‘Countdown’ program, grabbed him by the scruff of the neck, slammed him down in the seat for yet some more teaching - Olbermann’s Special Comment “Lessons from the Vietnam War.”

One of the gems Olbermann pointed out, the great and rallying wisdom offered by our Court-Appointed President;

“We’ll succeed,” the president concluded, “unless we quit.”

Sounds like something out of his “Hello, I Must Be Going” policy he launched last month. Pity slogans certainly haven’t been in short order for this administration, or was he just channeling Dr. Henry “I Never Met A War I Didn’t Like” Kissinger (with due credit to satirist Barry Crimmins)?

If that’s the lesson about Iraq that Mr. Bush sees in Vietnam, then he needs a tutor. Or we need somebody else making the decisions about Iraq.

Mr. Bush, there are a dozen central, essential lessons to be derived from our nightmare in Vietnam, but “we’ll succeed unless we quit,” is not one of them.

Olbermann lays out the lesson, with accuracy and fact, not something particularly known for by the Bush Administration and, you can tell from the tone of his voice, Olbermann isn’t confident the pupil will get the lesson, or act on what he learned.

Read, or watch the video of Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment - Lessons from the Vietnam War

Scroll down the right sidebar to read other Minced Garlic’s

Garlic Special - New Pentagon Theme Song

Well, it seems that we have a military-diplomacy Three Card Monte situation in the making, attempting to solve the Iraq Situation.

There is, of course the Iraq Study Group, led by Big Daddy’s man, James Baker.

Then, last week, the Decider himself announced the White House, itself, would review policy options, separate from those of Big Daddy Baker’s group. And related, there’s The Garlic’s scoop on VP Cheney going off on his own, full speed ahead, with his own study group.

Now we have the Pentagon coming out and jumping on the study group merry-go-round, with not one, not two, but three options - "Go Big," "Go Long" and "Go Home."

As soon as The Garlic saw this, well, the cords and melody of a theme song for the stodgy, button-downed Pentagon filled the air.

Think Mel Torme and the tune “Too Close For Comfort”

Go Big, Go Long, Go Home, my troops
Don't upset Baker’s groups when he's so close
Be soft, be sweet, but be discreet
Don't go off your feet, he's so close for comfort

Too close, too close for comfort, please, not again
Too close, too close to know just when to say "Leave Iraq"

Go Big, Go Long, Go Home, beware
On your guard, take care, while there's such temptation

One thing leads to another
Too late to hide from The Father
He's much too close for comfort now

[Instrumental]

Too close, too close for comfort, please, not again
Too close, too close to know just when to say "Leave Iraq"

Go Big, Go Long, Go Home, beware
On your guard, take care, while there's such temptation

One thing leads to another
Too late to hide from The Father
He's much too close for comfort now

Too close, much too close
He's much too close for comfort now





















Mel Torme, The Velvet Fog, while having a monster career as a jazz vocalist, is equally famous for penning the now classic, and ubiquitous, tune, ‘The Christmas Song’, made popular by another legendary singer, Nat King Cole