Leave Freddie Alone, He Knows His Symbolism - As Good As The Red Paint On An Old Pick-Up Truck

Well, he is an actor, and he does know how, and when, to hit his marks.

The Aqua Velva Man, in all of one day of being - finally - an official candidate for the Republican nomination for President, poked a stick into The Commander Guys', as well as the entire right-wing freak show, beehive, on the latest videotape from the still-hanging-on-the-wall Wanted Poster, Osama bin Laden, by characterizing it as;

"Bin Laden is more symbolism than anything else," Thompson said while campaign in Iowa Friday. "I think it demonstrates to people once again that we're in a global war."

WOW!

That's enough to get kicked out of the RNC, and have your bathroom stall privileges revoked.

But they need to lay off Freddie.

He's a pro at symbolism ... Just ask'em about his red pick-up truck...

Bonus Big Guy Links

Media Matters: Wash. Post, CNN reported on Thompson's pickup truck without noting it was a leased campaign prop

Glenn Greenwald: Chris Matthews on Fred Thompson's sexiness and smells

Boston Globe: Not all would put a heroic sheen on Thompson's Watergate role

Breaking News! Thompson Responds To FEC Charge, Claiming He's Now Moving Into "Testing Executive Privilege" Phase; Also Invokes "The Cheney Principle", Saying "He's Not Part of The Campaign"

Juan Cole: Bush's incompetence gives al-Qaida new life

Newsweek: The Ongoing Hunt for Osama bin Laden; Into Thin Air

The Aqua Velva Man

The Real Rudy

Robert Greenwald does it again.

The site, The Real Rudy, is chock full of information America's Mayor is running - and lying - away from.

Glenn Greenwald (no relation) says of 'The Real Rudy';

"The Real Rudy," presents a truly devastating indictment of Giuliani's placement of New York City's Emergency Command Center in the World Trade Center ..."

"I believe, what appears quite clearly to be Giuliani's blatant and deliberate lying when asked repeatedly by Chris Wallace about what happened and why ..."

Check this out and bookmark it ... It will most interesting to watch Hizzoner clomp along the campaign trail with this around his neck.

Bonus America's Mayor Links

Wayne Barrett: Rudy Giuliani's Five Big Lies About 9/11

Alex Koppelman: After 9/11, Rudy wasn't a rescue worker -- he was a Yankee

Retro Rudy ... When The Emperor Has No Clothes, I Guess, We're Supposed To Compliment His Hair ...


The REAL Rudy: Command Center

"And Now We Come To The Sanity Clause ..."

Now, The Garlic has long known the Bush Grindhouse's affinity to the Marx Brothers as the inspiration for their breathtaking polices, but this is really, really stretching it ...

We've heard - for months, on end - the expected manna from heaven that would fall in Washington this September ... The great warrior, General David Petraeus, would speak his words, sprinkling the ground with golden wisdom ...So hushed would the nation's capital become, it could be mistaken for the shooting of a remake of 'The Day The Earth Stood Still'.

But then, a ripple in this militarized Norman Rockwell moment ...

Petraeus wouldn't be writing the report, the Bush Grindhouse will pen the way forward ...

And we've endured now, the whizzing of reports, flying overhead like a food fight in a middle school cafeteria ... The GAO... The NIE, pundits on the right, pundits on the left... A Former Secretary of State... Embassy Reports...

And today - drumroll please...

Think Progress: New Twist In Saga Over ‘Petraeus Report’: There Will Be No Report

Joe Gandelman: Shifting Goalposts Dept: Now Petraeus Report Won’t Be Written Report

John Cole: Report? What Report?

As Keith Olbermann said the other evening, of The Commander Guy; "You have no remaining credibility about Iraq".

Now, if we can get a Congressional Democrat, or two, to morph into Klaatu, and his gigantic robot, Gort, and toss around a few "Klaatu barada niktos", maybe something can get done to end this madness.

Bonus Links

Juan Cole: A surge of phony spin on Iraq; Bush's backers are peddling a sunny view of the president's strategy -- despite Iraq's political chaos and soaring death counts

Nir Rosen, in conversation with Amy Goodman: Iraq No Longer Exists

Sidney Blumenthal: Bush knew Saddam had no weapons of mass destruction


A Night at the Opera (1935) - The Contract

He Should Have Used "The Google"

Maybe he's just trying to drum up some buzz for his new book...

One has to think, that someone on The Shakespeare Guy's travel contingent would have a laptop that he could use to look up "The Google" and get his info straight.

Gesh ... And we still have more-than-a-year of this stuff left to deal with ...

Links

Raw Story: Dazed Bush forgets what country he's in, what summit he's at

AP: Bush has bad day at Sydney Opera House

CNN: Fake motorcade causes summit stir

Bonus Links

Sidney Morning Herald: Some verbal gymnastics, and Bush is in Austria

New Garlic Song: Bush Could Write A Book

Tough sledding on the Legacy Front these days.

Was it put out there to pick up more donations for the Bush Library? You know, like a PBS kind of thing, where, if you pledge so much, you get this, bump up to the next level, get that ...

Can't imagine they're offering a tote bag - those must all be deployed in Iraq, to lug around the cash to pay for the "success" in Al Anbar.

No, none of that liberal stuff ... Gotta go with a book ... Yeah, a book ... That'll get it out there ... Show that I'm tough ... Show that I'm sensitive ... Determined ... Resolute ... Yeah, a book will do it ...

Trouble is, speaking on the Legacy Front, when you write that kind of book, with more that a year left in your administration, and you start spinning the history ... Well, you need to fire the guy that forgot to tell you that there's a whole boatload of people out there - former staffers, colleagues, et all - that can, pretty much, blow you out of the water.

Ahhh, but so it goes.

And, as we, so often, have offered song to accompany The Commander Guy, in his stumbles, today we provide the soundtrack that will surely be used in the video loop that will play on at the Bush Library ... Or maybe his Freedom Institute ...

It's a standard, so sing along, loud and strong ...

Bush Could Write A Book

A B C D E F G
He never learned to spell,
At least not well.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
He never learned to count,
A great amount.

But his busy mind is burning to use what little learning it got,
He won't waste any time,
He'll lie while the iron is hot.

If they asked him, Bush could write a book
About the way they shock, and whisper, and mistook.
He could write a preface
On fabricating the threat
And the world will never forget.

And the simple neocon secret of his plot
Is just to tell them "you're with us, or not".
And the world discovers
As his book ends,
How to make two disasters
That he defends.

And the simple neocon secret of the plot
Is just to tell them "you're with us, or not".
And the world discovers
As his book ends,
How to make two disasters
That he defends.

Bonus Links

Listen To A Clip of George Shearing and Mel Torme on I Could Write A Book

Keith Olbermann: Pres. Bush's inconsistencies - A new biography about President Bush, “Dead Certain,” reveals many inconstancies in his public and private statements. Author Robert Draper discusses what to make of Bush.

Baker-Hamilton To Say “Start Over”; Reinstall Saddam And Retake Country, This Time With Plans; First Step Is To Reconstruct Baghdad To Pre-2003 Invasion Look; “Maintain a public front of “victory in Iraq”

Top Ten Cloves: Difficulties DC Comics' Batman May Have Fighting Osama bin Laden

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons How Air Force Mistakenly Flew 5 Nuclear Warheads Across Country

News Item: Nuclear Bombs Mistakenly Flown Over US

10. Was going to ship them by truck, but FEMA has them all tied up, toting ice all over the country

9. Condi Rice is behind it, just testing out if she still has power or not

8. Two Airmen where in adjacent bathroom stalls .. .One started tapping his foot and next thing you know, the bombs are loaded and the plane takes off

7. Air Force thinks it happened on the day they had Kid Nation working for them

6. Incident has just been adopted by Vice President Cheney's Energy Task Force, so now classified and can't be discussed

5. The RNC set it up, to threaten Fred Thompson to make his god-damned announcement, already!

4. General David Petraeus wanted some props when he testifies before Congress next week

3. President Bush went on one his crying jags and ordered a hit on Iran to cheer himself up

2. Barbour Griffith and Rogers bought them, for leverage in their plans to install Ayad Allawi as the ruler of Iraq

1. Cheney's Cheney David Addington couldn't wait any longer to take out the FISA Court

Minced Garlic ... New Keith Olbermann Special Comment ... Lying, Lying, Lying!

"As he deceived the troops at Al-Asad Air Base yesterday with the tantalizing prospect that some of them might not have to risk being killed and might get to go home, Mr. Bush probably did not know that, with his own words, he had already proved that he had been lying, is lying and will be lying about Iraq."

So began an energized, animated and angry MSNBC Countdown anchor Keith Olbermann, in his Special Comment "Bush just playing us with 'troop withdrawal'".

Ranting against The Commander Guy's surprise Photo Op in Iraq yesterday, teasing the troops about possible troop withdrawals, yet, already laying out his legacy strategy, now released with his new book, 'Dead Certain';

“I'm playing for October-November," Mr. Bush said to Draper. That, evidently, is the time during which, he thinks he can sell us the real plan, which is “to get us in a position where the presidential candidates will be comfortable about sustaining a presence."

Comfortable, that is, with saying about Iraq, again quoting the President, “stay... longer."

And Olbermann didn't hesitate to call him out on it all.

War today, war tomorrow, war forever!

And you are playing at it! Playing!

A man with any self respect, having inadvertently revealed such an evil secret, would have already resigned and fled the country! You have no remaining credibility about Iraq.

Read Keith Olbermann's Special Comment Bush just playing us with 'troop withdrawal'; Night is day, and death is life, and enraging the world against us is safety

Watch The Video of Keith Olbermann's Special comment on Bush’s surprise Iraq visit

''Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in ... another stall.''

Mitch McConnell, and the Republican Leadership must be burning overtime this evening ... Photoshopping Larry Craig with a couple of Congressional Pages .... They'll be taking off the gloves and piling up bodies ...

This is not what they wanted, when they Thunderdomed the Idaho lawmaker/breaker last week;

UPDATED 7:25 p.m. -- Craig may not quit after all if he's cleared of charges, spokesman says

This is going to be soooo, soooo good to watch ...

Bonus Restroom Leg Syndrome Links

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Admitting You Have A Wide Stance

This Is Just Too, Too Rich ...

Breaking News! Another Bombshell - Craig To Enter Rehab; Cites Suffering From 'Restroom Leg Syndrome'

Today's Hysterical Must Read: White Flour!

In an effort to welcome everyone back from the lazy, hot summer, we have another pointer post.

This comes from Hullabaloo, where the incredible Digby has done it again ...

It is a fall-on-the-floor, hysterical, tears-running-down-your-face tale of a Knoxville KKK rally that gets stymied by ... Well, you gotta read it ...

White Flour!

Photo Op Accomplished - Hooah!

Sans the flightsuit and aircraft carrier deck landing ...

While the Bush Grindhouse billed this as a "stop-by" for The Commander Guy, on his way to an economic conference in Australia, it was anything but ...

It was the continued roll out of the "Petraeus Reportpalooza", complete with the soldier-in-uniform backdrops, with the well-timed "Hooahs" to urge this charade on ...

We've already had, over the past few weeks and months, the steady stream of Congressional Delegations coming over to Iraq, with the fervor of the Kanamits loading the dimwitted citizens on to airplanes in the Twilight Zone's 'To Serve Man', and with the expected results;

Republicans - The surge is working, it's a big success story.

Democrats - We're fucked ... And the longer we stay here, the more fucked we'll be.

So Anbar province now sits in the Extreme Makeover spotlight ... The bell-ringing success story to validate the Bush Grindhouse tenet that everything about invading and occupying Iraq was the right thing to do ...

And it gave the Decider Guy yet another opportunity to ring that al Qaeda bell;

"You see Sunnis who once fought side by side with al Qaeda against coalition troops now fighting side by side with coalition troops against al Qaeda. Anbar is a huge province. It was once written off as lost. It is now one of the safest places in Iraq. (Hooah.)

The very people that you helped the Iraqis defeat in Anbar swore allegiance to the man that ordered the attack on the United States of America. What happens here in Anbar matters to the security of the United States."

But a funny thing happened on the way to the public relations bag of tricks.

The visit today, and the strategy that lead to the "safety" of the stop-over goes completely against the strained strategy of the ever-so-hailed surge, and what the surge was supposed to accomplish.

"The surge of operations that began in June is improving security throughout Iraq. The military successes are paving the way for the political reconciliation and economic progress the Iraqis need to transform their country."

They bought and paid for Anbar Province, with arms, and money (and, perhaps, some of those missing AK-47's that General David 'Rifleman" Petraeus kinda lost).

Security throughout Iraq is not improving and Michael Vick will probably be back in the NFL before there is political reconciliation.

After all, the "Petraeus Reportpalooza" is running to counter the "reality" coming out of Iraq;

• A corrupt government
• A virtual complete failure in reaching the benchmarks set out by Congress, as detailed by the latest GAO Report
• A NIE Report showing (drum roll, please) more violence, violence violence

And how's this for a ringing endorsement of those Sunnis-turned-soldiers;

"Bush's visit to Anbar province is a strong message to the Maliki government in Baghdad and a rebuke to the Shiite opposition to arming the tribesmen to fight al-Qaeda in Iraq," said Farhan Jassem, a sheik from the Dulaimi tribe. "I believe the tribesmen have fulfilled their promises which they had made to the American forces. We have achieved in four months what the United States could not do in four years, destroying al-Qaeda in Anbar."

Doesn't sound like they're ready to sing "My Country Tis of Thee" anytime soon.

And, as this has happened so often, anybody whose anybody, knows, as soon as U.S. Forces pull out of Anbar, it will go south, just like all the other "success stories".

Perhaps, the best the Bush Grindhouse can spin out of this is that The Uniter Guy didn't go to the market, or rug shopping.

They must be saving the flightsuit and aircraft carrier for the spreading of democracy in Iran.

Cue up Que Sera Sera...

Bonus Petraeus Reportpalooza Links

MUST READ! Firedoglake: Bush/Cheney in Iraq: Winning By Failing

Juan Cole: A surge of phony spin on Iraq; Bush's backers are peddling a sunny view of the president's strategy -- despite Iraq's political chaos and soaring death counts.

Lawmakers Describe 'Being Slimed in the Green Zone'


The Three Amigos

Good Post Alert - Edward Copeland's Review of 'No End In Sight'

Certainly, not unrelated to the above-post of The Commander Guy swooping into Anbar Province, in Iraq, for a victory lap, we want to point you to a good post today, over on Edward Copeland on Film (and he also writes the blog Copeland Institute for Lower Learning).

Copeland reviews the new documentary, "No End In Sight", a tale of those early, heady days of the invasion and occupation of Iraq.

"No End in Sight is remarkable for its "Just the facts, ma'am" approach. There's no need for ratcheting up the rhetoric: The film's recitation of the facts, many of which are well known, are assembled in such a way that viewer provides his or her own sense of outrage or disbelief without any prompting from the filmmaker. Interviewing a wide assortment of officials involved in the initial invasion as well as journalists, troops and others, what's so astounding about this Iraq documentary, and there certainly have been no shortage of documentaries on the subject, is that those involved believed in the mission. They wanted to succeed and they wanted to leave an Iraq that was better than the one they invaded. Unfortunately, the people making the decisions either because of arrogance, incompetence, indifference or some combination of all three, let the opportunity for a success story to slip through their fingers and everyone is paying the price to this very day."

Of interest, Copeland opens his review with a great quote from former Ambassador Barbara Bodine, who appears in the film.

Bodine was also just on 'Real Time with Bill Maher last Friday, who offered some of flavor of what's in "No End In Sight";

BODINE: I don’t – I honestly don’t think that they were trying to egg on the insurgency. But I do think that they were so blinded by their ideology, so convinced of their – their right, their ability and their right to transform a society. They basically approached Iraq as if it was a blank slate. And there were – there were some in the reconstruction – the political side of the reconstruction – who actually said that they thought that the looting of the entire infrastructure was good, because it was a way of downsizing the government.

GRAVEL: I heard that.

BODINE: And – well, it did.

MAHER: Right. It seemed like they were trying to—[laughter]

BODINE: It did. It did. I mean, it zeroed everything out, brought it down to, you know, that sort of basic Stone Age level of no electricity, no water, no sanitation, no law and order. Sort of, you know, a “Lord of the Flies” almost kind of a thing. And – but the problem was – it wasn’t that they wanted the chaos. I think even the worst of them did not want the chaos. They didn’t understand the kind of forces that they were unleashing. And they had this—

MAHER: But, they—

BODINE: [overlapping]—arrogant idea that the Iraqis would be passive to all of this; that we could go in with our ideas and our plans and our way of doing things, and that the Iraqis would just simply sit there and wait for us to come forward with our plans. And it was going to be this Petri dish of every single one of their political philosophy ideas – you know, flat taxes, complete privatization—

And there was this gem, as well;

MAHER: And they had free health care over there.

BODINE: They did.

MAHER: Right. And when the guy—

BODINE: [overlapping] But it was – but – but—

MAHER: [overlapping]—the Bush people put in there, he was aghast at that because, you know, we don’t have that here and our system works so good. [laughter]

BODINE: Well, it – the health – the health system in Iraq was a disaster, but there were ways of fixing it. The guy who came in wasn’t a doctor, had never done public health. And the very first thing that he decides that has to be done on public health in Iraq is a “no smoking” campaign. [laughter] This is the major threat to the Iraqis, is cigarettes! Not guns, not bombs, not anything, but cigarettes.

Links

Take a spin over and read Edward Copeland's "A confederacy of dunces"

Visit the website for "No End In Site"

Barbara Bodine - IF WE LEAVE: Iraqis Will Learn to Deal

Ambassador Barbara Bodine

Katie ... Now, Just Click Your Heels Together Three Times ...

When I first saw the post, I had to do a double-take ... Katie Couric is with CBS now, right?

Yet there it was, the intrepid anchor of the CBS Evening News, rambling on in her 'Couric & Co.' blog of her trip to Baghdad ("Greetings From Baghdad") that played out like a cue-in from a commercial on her old 'Today Show' for an intro to "Where In The World Is Matt Lauer?"

And ever the digging journalist our little Katie is, she cuts to heart of where she intends to find her scoop ... To put her finger on the pulse of what's going down in Iraq;

"I'm anxious to talk to General Petraeus, to other top military brass, to some of the soldiers, and to Ambassador Crocker to get a better handle on the political situation."

And, Walla, here it is today - "Measuring The Road Ahead" - that reads as if General David Petraeus was whispering the words in her ear ...

She could have saved CBS the budget, sitting in front of a green screen and reading reports out of the Bush Grindhouse, especially after this;

Think Progress: Couric Admits Her Rosy Report From Iraq Is Based On ‘What The U.S. Military Wants Me To See’

Fear not Katie ... Though, you missed it this go-around, another chair on "The View" is likely to open up soon ... Or, you can always follow Dennis Miller, over to the Game Show Network ...


Bonus Katie Links

Taylor Marsh: Is Katie Kidding?

Russell Mokhiber and Robert Weissman: Katie Couric Versus Amy Goodman

Editor's Note - Another Mea Culpa For Absence and Low Posting

Good Evening Garlic Fans ...

We lower our head to offer another apology over the lack-of-posting the past three-days ... It was, very much, an unplanned absence, due to the on-going situation on the home front, that required our complete (and exhausting) attention ...

We are - hopefully - getting back-on-track today with some posts and, if all goes well, will be able to continue ... There's just too much going on to be regulated to the sidelines ...

Thank you again for your understanding, as well as visits to The Garlic!

Peace
JTD

Breaking News! Another Bombshell - Craig To Enter Rehab; Cites Suffering From 'Restroom Leg Syndrome'

Beleaguered Republican Idaho Senator, Larry Craig, issued a statement this morning, following up on his "I am not gay" admission yesterday, indicating he will begin rehab treatment for "Restroom Leg Syndrome".

Craig did not divulge the rehab facility he will enter, nor state how long he has been inflicted with Restroom Leg Syndrome.

Nor was anything mentioned to the political future of Senator Craig, and how his treatment for Restroom Leg Syndrome would affect his ability to continue serving in office.

A spokesperson for Craig's Senate office needed to clarify, and confirm, for reporters that the Senator was not speaking on the more popular "Restless Leg Syndrome".

Restless legs syndrome (RLS, or Wittmaack-Ekbom's syndrome) "is a condition that is characterized by an irresistible urge to move one's legs. It is poorly understood [citation needed], often misdiagnosed, and believed to be a neurological disorder."

The Craig spokesperson hinted that the intense media attention over Senator Craig could be the cause, or trigger, of his RRLS.

In his statement, Craig stated that RRLS has "inflicted and burdened me, off-and-on, for years."

Neither Craig, nor his office, would respond to follow-up questions on how his "Restroom Leg Syndrome" differed, or was distinct from, "Restless Leg Syndrome".

Nor would anyone associated with Senator Craig respond to speculation that his "Restroom Leg Syndrome" came out of a conference call with the Republican Leadership, after they announced they were referring Craig's Minneapolis public restroom arrest to the Senate Ethics Committee.

There were reports circulating around Capitol Hill that former Tennessee Senator, Dr. Bill Frist, contacted Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, after viewing videotape of Craig's "I'm not gay" press conference, with the diagnosis.

"Frist was very certain," a source close to the Senate told The Garlic, "that is was very clear from the videotape Craig suffered from Restroom Leg Syndrome."

According to the source, Frist indicated that Craig "certainly seems to respond to the visual stimuli that characterizes Restroom Leg Syndrome."

Frist is said to have told the Republican Leadership that "having a wide stance" is also one of the symptoms associated with Restroom Leg Syndrome, but would need to see additional videotape to confirm that diagnosis.

The Garlic, in a search prior to posting this report, has yet to find a rehab facility that specializes in Restroom Leg Syndrome, and neither Craig's office, or the Senate Republican Leadership responded to inquires to identify such a rehab facility.

"I thought I had it under control," continued Craig, in his statement. "It's a bad disease ... A naughty disease ... It's a bad, nasty, naughty disease."

In a related matter, fellow Republican and Craig colleague, Senator David Vitters (R-LA), is expected to hold a news conference later today, to announce a change in his story, that he was too embarrassed to admit that he suffers from "Escort Service Leg Syndrome".

Bonus Restroom Leg Syndrome Links

Barry Crimmins: Today's Monolithic Headlines

The Sleuth - Mary Ann Akers: Senator Sang for Charity a Day After Arrest









It was announced today that Senator Larry Craig will enter rehab, for treatment on his "Restroom Leg Syndrome"

This Is Just Too, Too Rich ...

And we thought "Wide Stance" was priceless ...

I almost fell on the floor, laughing so hard, when I first saw this earlier today ...

With all that has gone down on this story in the last 24-hours ... The explosion of news and reports (we'll have some bonus links below) ... The Nixonian "I am not gay" from Senator Larry "Restroom Leg Syndrome" Craig ...

You gotta watch this video blurb ... It is hysterical, in context



(In the event you have problems viewing, here's the link to it)

Bonus Restroom Leg Syndrome Links

Glenn Greenwald: Larry Craig's bathroom behavior and the right wing -- then and now

Michael J.W. Stickings: "Let me be clear: I am not gay and never have been."

The Smoking Gun: U.S. Senator Gets Flushed

The Raw Story: Craig once helped boot GOP senator for sexual harassment

Editor and Publisher: How Did News Outlets Miss Senator's Arrest for Nearly Three Months?

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Admitting You Have A Wide Stance

News Item: Craig Arrested, Pleads Guilty Following Incident in Airport Restroom

10. Nothing like an airport's public restroom that makes you want to stretch out and widen your stance

9. When visiting Minneapolis, the "Twin Cities", you like to widen your stance just a little bit more

8. Bouts of irritation when breaking in a new pair of leather pants

7. Causes you to, uncontrollably, tap your foot in the public restroom stall next to you

6. Teasing from your colleagues, how they are going to have to renovate the Senate aisles to accommodate your wide stance

5. Difficulty fitting into average American public restroom stall

4. Once admitting you have a wide stance, confuses your constituents when an issue comes up and you say you're taking a stance on it

3. The need of a really snappy line, when you whip out your business card ... Something like “What do you think about that?”

2. Gives you self-doubts, like, instead of a wide stance, maybe you'd be better off just going with a massage and some crystal meth

1. Makes it easier to spot pieces of paper on a public restroom floor

Bonus Larry Craig Links

Idaho Statesman: Men's room arrest reopens questions about Sen. Larry Craig

Barry Crimmins: Wide footprints to fill

"He aggressively and successfully pursued public corruption ..."

Darn it!

I was all set to write an analogy of the Crony General's resignation using a baseball motif.

"Tell them I'm through, "for love of the game"
Billy Chapel, from the movie "For The Love of the Game"

I intended to point out how, as he fleeced the city of Arlington, Texas, for a new baseball stadium, The Uniter Guy, in his oil man/baseball owner days, should have spent more time learning the game.

Not that the Crony General wasn't pitching a perfect game ... Perfectly abysmal, that is.

The Commander Guy might have picked up that you don't leave your starting pitcher in there, when he's being hit like it's batting practice.

But, then I went and read "President Bush Discusses Resignation of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales" (h/t Barry Crimmins) and one line jumped out;

"He aggressively and successfully pursued public corruption ..."

Boy, did he ... With flying colors!

Take your pick ... His bedpan voyeurism of badgering the sick, doped-up Kaiser Ashcroft ... Torture ... Wiretapping ... The firing of the U.S. Attorneys ... Painting the walls of the Injustice Department RNC Red and personally altering - like Nathan Detroit and a racetrack tote board - the work-placement averages of the Pat Robertson Law School...

And there was the other angle, of the Bush Grindhouse continuing to stagger like a freshman nerd taking his first swigs out of the brown-bottled GIQ.

Firing, excuse me, "reluctantly accepted his resignation", the Crony General on the Monday before the Labor Day weekend?

Anybody left in the Grindhouse that knows how to read a calendar?

A Friday Dump on this one, man, the havoc that would have caused ... MSNBC probably wouldn't have it until Tuesday, not wanting to muck with their mega-holiday-Doc-Blocs

So, why would they pull the plug on the Crony General on a Monday?

As we did when the Blossom Turd pulled his smear-laden tent up and left town, what needed to be buried this week ...

• The pre-coronation of Ayad Allawi, with the big assist from Grindhouse-soaked Barbour Griffith and Rogers
• A little distance from the Friar's Roast of Terrorists/Lessons of Vietnam speech last week
• The continually-deflating impact of the Petraeus Report

It wasn't just happenstance that the Crony General suddenly "recalled" he best get his ass out of the frying pan (but with Congress insisting he keep in under the heat lamp) ...

Two things will dominate the news this week;

The Crony General, from the scandals, to the swappin' spit-brotherly love stories of him and The Decider Guy

And, who will replace the Crony General ... Who will be Crony General No. 2?

While it is fanciful to talk about "putting standards" on the nominee, and how the next Crony General will have to "uphold the rule-of- law first", let's get real.

With the list of potentially-indictable crimes hanging over their heads, the next one will be lamer that Gonzales.

I just have a gut feeling about it.

"Mr. Chertoff... They're cuing you ... "


Bonus Crony General Links

Andrew Cohen: Good Riddance

Bush Loyalist Helped Shape Signature Anti-Terror Policies

Top Ten Cloves: How It Would Be Different If Alberto Gonzales Was The Head of March Madness

Alberto Gonzales Sings 'Justice For Sale'

Defending Martin Lewis ... It's Satire, Stupid!

Quite the red-tinged firestorm going on out in the right-side blogosphere, over a post by humorist, commentator, producer, radio host, and, self-described "The World’s LEAST-Reserved Englishman", Martin Lewis.

Lewis's post, over on Huffington Post - "General Pace, You Can Save the US - by Arresting Bush for "Conduct Unbecoming" - has been garnering such bon mots as "HuffPo Calls For Military Coup In USA", "Your Saturday Dose Of Dumbass…", "BE WARNED, STUPIDITY CAN BE A CONTAGIOUS CONDITION!", "Huffington Post Publishes Call for American Coup", and the like (you can visit Memorandum for the links; If they are no longer posted, as Memorandum refreshes constantly, you can use the Search Archives and plug in August 26, 2007, 7:50 AM to pull them up).

First things first, Lewis states in the post, and assuming you have good vision, and can read, have the proper attention span, etc, that he is not advocating for a coup, or anything like it;

"To be crystal clear - I am NOT advocating or inciting you to undertake any illegal act, insurrection, mutiny, putsch or military coup. You are an honorable patriotic man.

I am NOT advocating or inciting you to interfere with any of the civilian duties of the President. That would not be a legal action by you."

It's right there. It's not hidden, and, as you can plainly see, it not cryptic, or otherwise written in some kind of code.

And Martin reiterates that, repeatedly, in the Comment Section

The practicality of removing The Commander Guy as the Commander-In-Chief, I will leave up to military legal experts, and the Congress. There certainly are issues to be dealt with, succession, et all (after all, we can't remove The Decider, only to elevate Darth Vader to the Oval Office - the expense of converting his Secret Bunker, from a Vice President's, to a President's would be a nightmare on the budget)

Here's what I think ...

Too many readers took the piece as a serious suggestion ... I read it, between tears of laughter, as brilliant, deftly-written satire.

Perhaps, Lewis is speaking to the deadweight, table-less Congress, for not taking up the well-justified, and Constitutionally-mandated, issue of Impeachment ... Or, he's slapping at General Pace, for his comments going out the door, and his years of being a cheerleader for the Bush-Cheney Invasion-and-Occupation of Iraq policy ...

Or, as happens with some frequency, an idea for a post pops into your head, and practically writes itself ... You take a seemingly normal news story or situation, and write it straight, logical, but with an absurd twist that hugs tightly to that line of "is it real or is it fake".

And let me state, for the record, I am not speaking for Martin Lewis. I have never spoken to Martin Lewis. Martin Lewis did not ask, or suggest, to me (or anyone else that I can see) to defend him - he's more-than-capable of doing that himself. Martin Lewis (or Huffington Post) is not paying me, or providing any compensation whatsoever, to defend the post. I am not a defender of Martin Lewis, nor do I play one on TV.

The Garlic, has, from time-to-time, tagged (linked) posts that Lewis has written, including a hysterical Bush Meets Monty Python! back in January.

And The Garlic did comment on Martin's HuffPo Pace piece, offering Mr. Lewis that The Garlic had its' own suggestion for another avenue towards this same goal;

Garlictorial: Happy 4th of July ... Okay, It May Be Down To This .... Citizen's Arrest!

Whether it is General Peter Pace, or some average citizen (and, heaven-forbid, if Congress actually does something), please, someone, take that first, big, bold step ... As Lewis writes, and The Garlic certainly endorses, "please save the US".

Update/Bonus Link - Martin Lewis Responds!

"Let's Twist Again": Right-wing Bloggers Smear HuffPost















The Official Site of the U.S. Constitution

More Sad News ... The Passing of Lloyd The Dog

Just two weeks ago, The Garlic asked its' reader to put out some good vibes and give a Shoutout For Lloyd!, the sick, beloved pet dog of our friend, Barry Crimmins, and his girlfriend Karen.

Barry had given over his website for much of this time to write about Lloyd, his recollections, his pride, and most of all, his hope, that Lloyd would beat the odds to recover fully.

Instead of having, possibly, months, it came down to only weeks.

Yesterday (Saturday) morning, Lloyd the Dog passed away.

Visit and read Lloyd the Dog 8/23/98 - 8/25/07, and while your there, peruse through some of Barry's other posts on Lloyd.

With the past few weeks' news being saturated by a certain, now former, NFL player, documenting his abuse of dogs, Barry's posts are the opposite, the antithesis, of this person, and it should be refreshing for you to bask along with Barry and Karen, in the great love and joy they showered Lloyd the Dog with on a daily basis.