Clock's Ticking Again - Some More Heads To Be Pulled Out of Asses ... Step Right Up Dorothy Rabinowitz ... And Richard Cohen

Just when we thought it would be safe ... They put their heads right back in it ...

Too bad Ronco is in bankruptcy ... Perhaps we could have had Ron Popeil come up with something ... The Ass-O-Matic, or some such device, that could help these dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds.

I wanted to stay away from all the knuckle-dragging neonitwits and hardcore rightwingers, who believe the verdict against felon I. Lewis 'Scooter" Libby is the biggest injustice since a well-known cross hanging on Mount Calvary.

There was no underlying crime ... The Special Prosecutor was illegal ... Overstepped his authority ...

Bah-Bah ... Woof-Woof ...

One point they make, that can be agreed with, is Libby shouldn't have been the only one charged with a crime ... Cheney and Rove, at minimum, should have been paraded in a perp-walk on this one ...

BUT SCOOTER LIBBY LIED TO INVESTIGATORS, LIED TO A GRAND JURY AND OBSTRUCTED THE INVESTIGATION!!!

AND HE GOT CAUGHT!!!

So, as we instructed John Fund recently (on a different matter), step up to the line, Dorothy Rabinowitz, and pull your head out of your ass ...

And, don't you shy away there, Richard Cohen ...

The Runaway Train That Hit Scooter Libby? ... Forget about the train, you weren't even close to the station

As soon as Dorothy is finished, it's your turn

Links

A Tale of Two Prosecutors - Mike Nifong is punished, but Patrick Fitzgerald isn't.

The Runaway Train That Hit Scooter Libby

Special Nod To Firedoglake, for a bit of inspiration

Meet Dorothy Rabinowitz

Joe Klein's stirring defense of Lewis Libby

Right-wing noise machine: Plame not covert















Ron, if you can, come up with an "Ass-O-Matic" or something that these dwarfs, finks, phonies, frauds can use ... There's only going to be more of them ...

Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Dickie Right Over ... Its' A Cheneypalooza!

One question I have this morning is where's Rumsfeld?

If he isn't leading a coup, or just bustin' everyone's balls, than it may be that our Vice President is showing overt signs of dementia setting in ... Senility or Alzheimer's, perhaps ... Could also be his notoriously bad heart (both literally and figuratively)

It may be that the days of the week are confusing him, and he thinks he's on one of his weekend Armageddon retreats.

How else to explain that he believes he is not part of the Executive Branch?

Long Past The Shock of Illegal, Law-Breaking Misdeeds

Who knew, last month, when The Garlic called for volunteers to become a "Cheney's Cheney" and join his team for the Iran venture that we'd see that the Darth Vader Man was already well ahead of the curve on it.

The Garlic also saw signs last November, when Cheney broke from the White House to form his own Iran Study Group.

And The Garlic had a feeling, earlier, back in November 2005, that Dick was quite the Magic Vice Prez.

He has his lavish Secret Bunker... The family, in particular the wife, is with him all the way ... He'll dress-down, and swear at, a Senator, or turn around and expose a covert CIA agent at the drop-of-the-hat ... And he shares with his boss/underling, The Commander Guy, a disdain for democracy ...

He's already long past the shock of conducting his illegal, law-breaking misdeeds, that there hasn't been any blaring sirens coming for him ... No scoldings, no detention, so he's looking around, his head spinning like Linda Blair's, and sees no one after him, so it's time to push that secret envelope out more, and more.

We should expect some type of fiat next from the VP Man, perhaps suspending the 2008 election, removing Bush, keeping the surge he sings praises for and, of course, leaving all Iran options on table - particularly the bombing ones.

Which Way Does It Go - Over The Cliff or Top of The World?

He doesn't give a shit about nose-diving ratings, he's got his hands on the wheel, his fingers on the buttons ... And he's going for broke ...

A Thelma and Louise, pedal-to-the-medal drive off the Constitutional cliff? ... A Cody Jarrett, Top-of-the-World-Ma scream, standing on a blazing and exploding Iranian nuclear reactor? ... Or a more fitting, Sam Peckinpah-inspired, Pike Bishop shoot out with Congress?

For me, I'd like to see, with a nice, lush, Bernard Hermann score, Cheney, sweating and panicked, on top of Mt. Rushmore, holding a trinket containing all the secret Energy Meeting Notes, and Secret Service Visitor Logs, being chased and hunted by Valerie Plame and Joe Wilson (hey, lay off, it's pretty close casting) and the good guys end up winning.

The only thing of it is, whose definition of good and evil do we go by?

Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Dickie Right Over ...





Cheney Defiant on Classified Material; Executive Order Ignored Since 2003

Rahm Emanuel To Cheney: Please Get The Heck Out Of The White House

Cheney: Neither Here Nor There?

Cheney Power Grab: Says White House Rules Don't Apply to Him


Its' A Cheneypalooza!















Kucinich announces impeachment charges against Vice President Cheney

White House Fiercely Divided; VP Cheney Wants State of Union Address Kept Private

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Libby Verdict Has Bush, White House Urging Cheney Into Rehab; Sources Claim 'Can't Be Trusted He Won't Break"; Iraq Comments "Last Straw" and "Were Not An Enormous Success"

Smearing Like It's 2003

Why Dick Cheney Cracked Up

Cheney Briefly Hospitalized After Television Appearance Yesterday; Vice President Complained Of Dizziness After Relentless Spin Session on ‘Meet The Press’

Top Ten Cloves: Slogans and Tag Lines For Caffeine-Free Diet Sprite – If Dick Cheney Was Pitchman

New White House Press Strategy On VP Shooting Deemed "Smashing Success"; Expect More Reports From Average Citizens, Local Papers Breaking News; President May Board Up Press Room

Bush To Change Legal Landscape; White House Primed To Replace "Miranda" With New, "Cheney Decision"; Says Still Tough On Crime; Won't Be Applicable For Rounded-Up Terror Suspects - "That's What Patriot Act Is For"

The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day ... And the *61 President

Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged.

Laura, Laura, Laura ... It's been awhile

And we can see you're at it again ...

Bad enough you dismissed the whole incompetence of your husband, and his cronies, with your "discouragement" statement (not to mention the soldiers and their families), now, you give the false impression that the Bush Grindhouse is opening its' arms to the - still growing - millions of Iraqi refugees.

Sounds like, Ms. Laura, you need some serious gatekeepers, like the possible next President, Hillary Clinton.

Or listen to former President Jimmy Carter, a Nobel Peace Prize winner, to get some honest advice.

And you're not going to get back to watching your television any time soon.

You've missed the big "American Idol" debacle, and the "Lost" finale ... Likely you won't be sitting up their in the living quarters gazing at "John From Cincinnati" either ...

The new golden boy, Petraeus, isn't talking about ending this thing soon, or even in this decade.

The dwarfs, finks, phonies and frauds that your husband, slavishly, follows down his decomposing legacy want more war, not less, gleefully calling for the carpet bombing of Iran.

You had the chance - we asked you - to put an end to all this by bucking up, and taking on the First Chief Decideress Veto Killer-role, but, you ignored it.

Today's Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the-Day

U.S.: Attacks kill 14 American soldiers in Iraq; Bomb claims lives of 5 GIs and 4 Iraqis, U.S. military says; mayor’s office hit

So, you may get back to watching television, at some point, many years into your post-First Lady days. And you may need it, to distract you from the thumping and beating the historians give you your Commander Guy.

Especially since you have, perhaps, inadvertently called attention to it.

Your little ploy, to get people to donate $61 to the RNC, in honor of The Decider's birthday... Again, get yourself those gatekeepers ... Someone to keep you from putting both feet in your mouth ...

If you had someone like that, they'd tell you highlighting "61" isn't such a great idea ... And with his "legendary" term as a baseball team owner ...

"61" is the number that belongs to the the late, New York Yankee, Roger Maris, and his record-setting feat of breaking Babe Ruth's single season homerun record, back in 1961. And Maris was more vilified for it than heralded. So much so, that, since Ruth hit his homeruns in 154 games, and it took Maris 163 to hit #61, it was deemed his record would have a asterisk next to it.

So, the question has to be asked there, Miss First Lady, are you signaling the historians to designated your husband, and what will be a horrible legacy, with an asterisk. Perhaps tying him with Hoover?

Links

Laura Bush: Much Of Iraq Is ‘Stable,’ There’s Just ‘One Bombing A Day That Discourages Everybody’

Brookings Institute Iraq Index

CNN Larry King - Interview With Laura Bush/"The Lost Tomb of Jesus"

Laura Bush: My husband never misled about Iraq

Petraeus Ex Machina

Previous Laura Bush Bummer Bombings of the Day

Top Ten Cloves: Strange Behavior First Day of Summer Visits Upon People

News Item: Revelers welcome summer solstice

10. Thanks to President Bush, Iraq named as the Second Worst Failing State

9. Dolly Parton gets named "Girl Scout for Life"

8. Perhaps to take advantage of more sunlight, Army wants to extend combat tours - again

7. Japan gets the urge to start renaming its' islands

6. Spice Girls (yawn) plan a reunion tour

5. Ann Althouse writes some batshit crazy, totally unglued, Freudian theory on Hillary Clinton's new Soprano video

4. Maybe it was part of the Downing Street Memo, but Bush wants to name Blair a Mideast Peace Envoy

3. The Vatican retools the 10 Commandments

2. French Government gets paranoid (or pragmatic) that their Blackberries are being tapped

1. White House Spokesman Tony Snow gets confused on whether or not Iraq war a good thing, or bad thing

Tony Blair - With the proposed position of Special Mid-East Envoy, does the former PM go from Bush's lap poodle, to seeing-eye dog?

Top Ten Cloves: How Being Named "Girl Scout For Life" Is Going To Cramp Dolly Parton's Style

News Item: Dolly Parton Named Girl Scout for Life

10. Can't earn any badges for the work she does running Dollywood

9. Gets pretty bored, sitting around the campfire, swapping stories about the 5th Grade

8. Fails swimming program, after not being able to get life jacket around her, ahhh, upper torso

7. All her Hollywood friends will be on diets, just around the time she has to sell a few dozen cases of Mint Cookies

6. Gimp necklaces ... I don't think so ...

5. Won't let her used air-conditioned motor home on overnight camping trips

4. Set new, all-time Demerit mark for wearing high heels on hiking lesson

3. Troop gets pissed off; They're going to have to clear ASCAP before singing any campfire songs with her

2. With the way she'll fill out a Brownie uniform, the Boy Scouts will get a new lesson in "tents"

1. Loses talent show at summer camp, to a seven-year old baton twirler


















Bonus Links

Dolly Parton on Wikipedia

Dolly Parton on IMBD

The Internet Pinball Database Presents Dolly Parton

Retro Garlic ... Cómo Se Dices "You're In The Army Now

Well, it appears that life and The Garlic are crossing paths again ...

Noticed this over the weekend;

Immigration bill offers a military path to US dream

And the caveat;

"The Development, Relief, and Education for Alien Minors Act, or DREAM Act, is part of the stalled package of proposals that many in Congress are seeking to resurrect. The proposal, applicable to an estimated 750,000 undocumented residents of military age, stipulates that those who arrived in the United States before age 16, graduated from high school, and meet other qualifications could immediately enter the path to citizenship in exchange for at least two years' service in the armed forces."

Now, back in April, 2006, The Garlic riffed, placing then Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld waxing on Immigration

Rumsfeld Weighs In On Immigration Battle; Won’t Tie It To War With Iran; Suggests Army Recruiting Woes Could Be Solved With Mandatory Service By Illegal Aliens

Rumsfeld offers, among other things that;

"They’ll get three-squares-a-day and it pays a helluva lot better then picking lettuce, or grapes, or whatever it is they do ...”

“I mean,” added the Secretary, “they’re coming here for the American experience ... the American Dream ... What could possibly embody that more than by serving in your country’s armed forces?”














Bonus Links

DREAM Act

Top Ten Cloves: What Would Be Different If Rumsfeld Was A Dog, But Still Secretary of Defense

The Armageddon Plan

Pissing With The Big Dogs ... Evolution Sundays, Here We Come ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

We probably should have paid more attention. They put it out there and, we end up with a 5-4 High Court.

Well, if you missed any of those earlier Justice Sundays, you're in luck ...

Start packing the cooler and point the station wagon to the nearest mega-church south of the Mason-Dixon line, because our Weekly Garlic Poll Voters believe we got some Evolution Sundays on the horizon.

Now, we be talkin' some serious fire-and-brimstone ... No more opportunistic, camera-hogging, rat-catching politicians like Bill Frist and Tom DeLay mugging for votes ... This'll be red hot Elmer Gantry, but in HD and Dolby Surroundsound ... And some major, fat, pay-per-view dollars ...

If any 2008 Presidential candidate wants to get on this stage, then he/she better be able to piss with the big dogs ...

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll June 11 - June 17 2007

Since a new poll shows that a majority of Republicans don't believe in the Theory of Evolution, we can look for ...

1. Tony Perkins and James Dobson launching a series: Evolution Sundays Tally 38%

2. Booming business at the Creation Museum this summer Tally 29%

3. Brownback, Tancredo and Huckabee seeing a tremendous jump in their campaign fund raising Tally 19%

4. Dover, PA bracing for an onslaught of new threats from Pat Robertson Tally 14%

This week’s Poll - Places Congressional investigators should include in the search for the missing White House Emails include ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote















Bonus Links

Justice Sunday Preachers

Frist In Dispute Over Dem Bashing Telecast; Says Only Promised to "View Tape" for 'Justice Sunday'

Thousands Overwhelm Justice Sunday Rally; Sick and Infirm Disappointed; Came Seeking Faith Healers

American Idol Spin's Off New Born-Again Virgin Show; All Christian Music Format; Special Segment For Declaring New, Multi-Born Again Status

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Reverend Ralph Verified Tim Haggard Was "Completely Heterosexual"

Top Ten Cloves: Potential Problems With Pro Video-Game League Championship Gaming Series

News Item: The Championship Gaming Series is billed as the first true pro video-game league. Six-figure salaries are possible

10. Many miscues as contestants fingers get slippery, from GoldenPalace.Com wrist bands that start running and bleeding due to the sweat

9. Officials broadcast tournament on 10-second delay, to edit all the "shoutouts" to the record stores contestants work at

8. Numorous stopages, as contestants fight, after attempts to hack each others' computers during competition

7. Contestants look extremely jittery, having stayed up night before tournament binging on Jolt Cola and Twinkies

6. NASA astronaut Sunita "Suni" Williams get more buzz with plans on playing video game in space for the entire length of the tournament

5. Instead of a buxom, bikini-clad beauty in high heels, Card Girl for tournament is modeled on Zelda Gilroy

4. Computers crash when FBI illegally taps into tournament, trying to snoop and get information on the contestants

3. Boycott by contestants delay start of tournament - Want right to take skateboarding break between games

2. Special set built to replicate bedroom in cellar or garage doesn't come across very well on television

1. Tournament ends in scandal, when discovered not all contestants submitted their Parental Permission Slips

Bonus Links

ENTERTAINMENT 2.0: Game designers test the limits of artificial intelligence By Scott Kirsner

Top Ten Cloves: Things About ESPN Televising Dominoes Events
Instead of a buxom, bikini-clad beauty in high heels, Card Girl for tournament is modeled on Zelda Gilroy

Developing Story! Chiquita Case Emerges With Ties To Bush, DOJ, CIA

To Bolster Surge, President Weighs Using Banana Company Thugs In Iraq

Goodling Courted By Chiquita For "Hiring Expertise"; CIA Contractor Cuts May Hit '54 Coup Vets

Sources tell The Garlic that the Bush Grindhouse has been conducting secret negotiations with Chiquita Brands International, as part of the company's eye-popping $25-million fine and admission of guilt for using terrorists and right-wing militia groups in Columbia, to brutalize and murder the local population, to deploy some of these same "banana company thugs" in Iraq, to augment the current and latest Bush plan of a massive surge.

With the latest U.S. surge in Iraq said to be complete, but showing no signs of decreasing the violence - and top Congressional leaders telling the President it is a failure - Bush is said to have issued directions to his staff to "pursue all avenues" and "go outside the box".

With the Justice Department holding the cards over Chiquita, talks began shortly after the court proceedings.

"We're pretty confident", an unidentified Pentagon official boasted, "that these ... ahh ... soldiers, will adapt without much difficulty. Bananas ... Dates ... Apricots ... What's the difference ... Fruit is fruit ...They can employ their set of skills just as well over there, as they did in Columbia. The weather is pretty much the same, as well, so we see no issue with the transition."

Chiquita admitted, back in March of this year, that they paid United Self Defense Forces of Colombia (AUC), as well as the FARC and ELN rebel armies, nearly $2-million for "security" and to "protect their employees" in their operations, under their Banadex company in Urabá, Colombia.

As reported by the Christian Science Monitor, "The right-wing United Self Defense Forces of Colombia (AUC) joined the ranks of Al Qaeda and Hamas on the State Department's list of terrorist organizations in September 2001. Colombia's two main leftist rebel groups, known as FARC and ELN are also on the list."

The AUC is said to have committed some of the most brutal crimes, that saw thousands of Columbians killed between 1997-2004.

And there is more fallout, as famlies of the victims of Chiquita's thugs may sue the company, and the Columbian government may seek the extradition of eight Chiquita executives.

Deployment Of Banana Thugs May Increase Tensions In Iraq

The Garlic's sources could not confirm reports the Chiquita would continue paying AUC when they are deployed to Iraq.

Neither the Bush Grindhouse, or the Pentagon, would say how AUC would be deployed in Iraq - as part of the U.S. forces, or under the private contractor, Blackwater, which could introduce new problems.

"I can't see them working under Blackwater," offered Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century.

"Blackwater would see them as a competitor," continued Martins. "They'd be taking money out of their pockets and you could, potentially, see a scenario where Blackwater and the AUC start fighting each other."

Chiquita Balks At CIA Cuts

The talks with Chiquita over the use of their thugs did hit a recent snag, when the CIA announced earlier this week that they are planning on cutting their contractor staffing by 10%.

It is believed that Chiquita balked at the plan, fearing that veterans of the 1954 coup that ousted Guatemalan President Jacobo Arbenz would be laid off.

The United Fruit Company (now Chiquita) protested some of Arbenz's policies, leading to "a killing field" that saw 140,000 people killed and another 45,000 disappeared in a U.S. backed scorched earth campaign to wipe out dissidents, rebels and activists for peace and social justice in Guatemala.

Coincidentally, John Foster Dulles, the former Secretary of State under President Dwight D. Eisenhower, coincidentally had a brother, Allen, who was the Director of the CIA, and who was also a member of the Board of Directors of the United Fruit Company. Foster Dulles "was pivotal in promoting and executing the CIA-led Operation PBSUCCESS that overthrew the democratically elected Guatemalan government of Jacobo Arbenz Guzmán."

Chiquita threatened to back out of the deal until receiving assurances that any '54 coup veterans would not be effected by the CIA cuts.

Chiquita Courts Disgraced DOJ Underling

Also developing is reports the Chiquita has been courting Monica Goodling, the disgraced, former senior councilor to Crony General Alberto Gonzales.

Goodling admitted in Senate testimony that she "crossed the line" in her duties, using the political affiliations, as well as political donations, in her criteria for the hiring of hundreds of Justice Department career employees.

A company spokesperson for Chiquita would not offer details of their discussions with Goodling, or what type of work and compensation would be offered to her, but it was clear they have their sights set on landing her.

"If we had her working with us in Columbia, able to cut through and line-up the proper thugs, the thugs who would be on our team, with our morals and philosophies, we wouldn't have a $25-million fine and we wouldn't be having this conversation today."

The Chiquita spokesperson would neither confirm or deny that the company is also talking to former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfield, former FEMA Director Michael Brown and, depending on the outcome of his appeal process, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby about coming on board.

"Let's just say," offered the Chiquita spokesperson, "that we are looking to enhance our staff and we have learned our lesson. There are better ways, and better resources, for Chiquita to achieve its' objectives, if you have the right players on board ... If you work within the system ... All we had to do, from the beginning, was look back to 1954."

Links

Virtual Truth Commission

Third World Traveler

A new blog covering Immigration, and Chiquita - Immigration Orange


What a bunch!

More Libby, Libby, Libby ... Bill Moyers' Begging His Pardon

Too tired tonight to write anything new on The Scooter ... You can visit yesterday's Libby, Libby, Libby ... It's A Scooterpalooza! to get a good hit on All Things Scooter.

Instead, we turn it over to a much better voice, and it's a good read

Bill Moyers: Begging His Pardon

Well worth clicking through and checking it out

Retro Garlic ... James Kilts and the Procter & Gamble - Gillette Merger

It's another installment of Retro Garlic tonight, thanks to 'The Boston Globe' Business Columnist, Steve Bailey, and is witty and biting review of former Gillette CEO James Kilts' new book, "Doing What Matters"

Steve Bailey's Writes the King

Bailey kicks it off with;

"And you thought King Kilts, who pocketed $165 million in the sale of Gillette Co. to Procter & Gamble Co., was the big winner in that epic Boston mega-deal. Not so, says the King.

"Employees would be perhaps the biggest beneficiaries," the King writes in his coming self-congratulatory book on how you too can turn around, sell off, and get rich on a global icon, all in five years. It's yours in hardback, if you can stomach it, for $27.50 this fall."

As to the Retro part of this ... This came in the early weeks of The Garlic's launch, back in February 2005 ...

Kilts, Gillette Board Vote For All Profits

Enjoy!

Libby, Libby, Libby ... It's A Scooterpalooza!

Judge says Libby, Libby, Libby, off to prison, prison, prison, he won't like, like, like it, pardon hopes fizzin', fizzin' fizzin'

Not even the 12 Angry Men could sway Judge Reggie Walton ...Nor could threats ...

The Scooter doesn't get to pass Go and collect $200 ... It's straight to jail for the former Assistant to the Vice President ... No waiting for the appeal in Aspen, he gets to stew in the big house ... He sits, behind bars, on Walton-Fitzgerald Time, not free time ...

And on The Garlic, It's A Scooterpalooza!

White House Sets Mark With No Terror Alert During Indictments; Libby's Bad News Passes Without Fear Package; Homeland Security Looks Into Missed Opportunity

Libby Indicted, Resigns and At Odds With Cheney Over Defense; VP Holds On To 'Nolo Contendere' In Event Charges Come; Has "No Problem" With Libby Doing Jail Time

Libby As Enemy Combatant Unlikely, But Treason Charges Could be Leveled; White House Quiet But Signs Indicate May Mount Offensive Against Libby; Sources Say ‘Everything Is On The Table”, Including Enemy Combatant Status; Rove Working On “Special Smears”

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard Last Night At Scooter Libby Fundraiser

OJ Out, Libby In, As Fox Looks To Make Lemonade Out Of Their Lemons; Reagan Snares Cheney Aide For “If I Leaked ...” Special; No Hush Money But Donation Made To Defense Fund

Trial In Chaos; Justice Dept. Gave Libby Lawyers Prospective Jurors Personal Info; Fitzgerald Livid As Emails, NSA Wiretaps, Financial Records Found In Defense Lawyers' Briefcase

Libby Trial Update: Cheney In The Crosshairs; Reports Surface Cheney Scouring eBay, Internet For Credibility; VP Office Silent, But On-Line Resellers Abuzz On Interest, Bartering With Vice President

Top Ten Cloves: Most Surprising Things To Come Out of the Scooter Libby Trial So Far

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

Libby Trial Update - It's Miller Time!

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Tim Russert Didn't Ask Scooter Libby About Joe Wilson and His Wife

Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard In The Scooter Libby Jury Room

Libby Verdict Has Bush, White House Urging Cheney Into Rehab; Sources Claim 'Can't Be Trusted He Won't Break"; Iraq Comments "Last Straw" and "Were Not An Enormous Success"

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Scooter Libby May Get A Pardon

The Scooter Doesn't Skate ... New Garlic Song - Let's Jail Libby!


The Happier Days

Chinese Surname Problem Equals Golden Career Op For Bush - Name Czar

Much as we did last week, assisting the Vice President with building his team, The Garlic sees another career development opportunity in the news today, this one for The Uniter/The Decider/The Commander Guy himself.

It could go towards one of those late term diplomatic moves that gets hailed as a visionary thing by the historians, and we all know that the Bush Grindhouse desperately wants something to latch on to for a legacy.

This was in the news today;

Chinese surname shortage sparks rethink

And there was this caveat;

"The survey found 92 million people shared the surname Li, while 88 million were called Zhang. A further seven surnames -- including Chen, Zhou and Lin -- are held by at least 20 million Chinese.

Another report by the Chinese Academy of Sciences found at least 100,000 people share China's most popular name, Wang Tao."

Yeah! ... For the guy that loves to come up with new names, and to speak in a langague of one of his former careers, this is a big, fat ol' change-up pitch coming right over the middle of the plate, waiting to be one knocked out of the park.

With that name problem, it's unlikely that the Chinese have any kind of Bush Fatigue, so you're clear there.

Forget about Iraq ... Drop the Immigration charade ...

Here it is Georgie ... Appoint yourself as the new "Name Czar"

Fire up The Google ... Put that famous "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" Reading List to use ... Set yourself down with pen and paper and have at it ... When your finished, you can have that super diplomat of yours - Condi Girl - dash off to Beijing with the list and then you just sit back, let the legacy - and the library - build itself.

You're biggest worries now will be whether to have Michael Becshloss or Douglas Brinkley write the hosanna.

Links

Move Over, Hoover

Garlictorial: The 4th Anniversary, Or "How I Invaded and Occupied Iraq and All I Got Were These Lousy Iranian Bombs"

Name Czar ... Yeah, we got a name for you, all right ...

It's About The Legacy, Stupid! ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll

Well, maybe he'll start calling himself "Banner Guy"

Our Garlic Poll Voters seem to think that "The Commander Guy's" heavy push to get his (not anyone else's) Immigration Bill has to be due to he's got the banner ready and, perhaps, the aircraft carrier booked.

Now, it could be that he's already counting the gate receipts for his library in his head, but more likely it was about the only thing that he could pin on that quickly evaporating legacy.

The Iraq Occupation isn't going to do it for him ... His Injustice Department has virtually collapsed ... The Courts are putting a pin in his "Enemy Combatant" balloon and Congress is set to restore Habeas Corpus... Lastly, there's that Scooter Libby matter hanging - almost literally - out there ..

And today, news of that the judges sitting in on immigration cases went through the same Republican Red Play-Doh mold that Monica Goodling employed at the DOIJ (Department of Injustice).

What's an Imperialistic President to do?

It seems, not much. He's vowed to keep pushing the immigration thing and he's still standing up his Crony General Alberto Gonzales.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll June 4 - June 10, 2007

President Bush is so anxious to push his Immigration Bill forward because ...

1. Got a deal on banners and has the "Immigration Accomplished" one sitting around, collecting dust Tally 35%

2. Sees 12-million potential visitors to the George W. Bush Library down-the-line Tally 33%

3. Itching to start calling himself "El Comandante Guy" Tally 18%

4. It's the only thing Dick Cheney doesn’t override him on Tally 14%

This week’s Poll - Since a new poll shows that a majority of Republicans don't believe in the Theory of Evolution, we can look for ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote


He has the "Immigration Accomplished" banner ready and waiting to be hung

Top Ten Cloves: Ways CIA Will Cut Back On Using Contractors

News Item: CIA Plans Cutbacks, Limits on Contractor Staffing

10. See if Pat Robertson can launch a hurricane or stampede against them

9. Have the Senate tack on to the Alberto Gonzales No Confidence Vote, one for the contractors as well

8. Will get Blackwater to threaten to sue any contractor who doesn't resign voluntarily

7. Badger them by getting Bill O'Reilly to start one of his inane wars against them

6. Can lop off 15%-20% just by giving them standard CIA Personality Test

5. Hire Monica Goodling to weed them out

4. Ask the contractors if they believe in evolution - Keep the ones that do, layoff the ones that don't

3. Reclassfy the contractors as "Linguists" and then fire them like the Army did

2. Look through contractor list to see which ones covert, and then get Office of Vice President to expose them

1. Adopt Soprano tactic and, in video conference call about employment status, have screen fade to black

Of Talking Head Paloozas ... Ahh, Dennis, I'll Take Has-Been Hosts for $500, Please ... And Wait A Minute, Didn't You Read This Before? ...

Not quite a Herb Caen mimic today, just a few odds-and-ends that popped up, that I haven't had the time, or energy, to develop into something larger ...

Another Missed Opportunity for Talking Head Paloozas

Quite amazing Friday, the blizzard of media coverage, screaming "Breaking News" crawlers and breathless anchors, all over a white woman - who wasn't missing ... Who didn't run away from her wedding ... And nary a man-voice whisper of intrepid celebrity news hound Rita Cosby ...

Undoubtedly, the cable news guys are bemoaning this happened on a Friday ...If it could have come on a Monday, or Tuesday - CHA-CHING! ... A week's worth of programming specials and talking head paloozas ...

Links

MSNBC Cuts Away From Pentagon To Paris

VIDEO COMPILATION: The Assault On Reason, Paris Hilton Edition















Ahh, Dennis, I'll Take Has-Been Hosts for $500, Please ...

I had to do a double-take when I espied these little gems ...

GSN Taps Dennis Miller To Host Grand Slam

GSN Lands Dennis Miller for 'Grand Slam' Game Show

Oh, how the acerbically droll have fallen ...

I mean, Wink Martindale had a smoother career than Miller

From SNL, to CNBC (and working with the chimpanzee, Ellie, as his co-host), Monday Night Football ... The good gigs just keep shedding off him, like some reptilian scales, giving rebirth to new life, in Miller's case, further down the food chain ... He was, prior to the gleaming GSN spotlight, reduced to fawning in front of Bill O'Reilly on the Fox News Network ...

Now he gets to entertain the "Meals-On-Wheels" crowd, along with the contingent of unemployed, shouting in earnest at the gamers on GSN, often not realizing that they are watching a 20-year-old program

Signs that Miller will blow this one (unless they're paying the audience again), will be around the third or fourth taping, when Ellie appears, as his new co-host (or perhaps, auditioning, to take over the spot) ...

This leaves Miller to step down another rung, perhaps joining the late-night infomercial guys selling knives ...

Dennis, can you say "Look at these pearl handles!"?



















Wait A Minute, Didn't You Read This Before? ...

This story popped out at me, leaving me with the haunting feeling, wondering if the mice used in the study felt like "Hey, I've been in this lab before ..."

Origin of Deja Vu Pinpointed

Noted in the article was MIT neuroscientist Susumu Tonegawa, who conducted the study;

As an aging neuroscientist, Tonegawa admitted it’s a typical phenomenon with him. “I do a lot of traveling so I show up in brand new airports, and my brain tells me it’s been here before,” he said. “But the rest of my brain knows better.”

New Barry Crimmins ... Politicize this!

Somewhat ironically, this appeared in yesterday's NY Times news email, the daily "This Day In History";

On June 9, 1954, Army counsel Joseph N. Welch confronted Sen. Joseph R. McCarthy during the Senate-Army Hearings over McCarthy's attack on a member of Welch's law firm, Frederick G. Fisher. Said Welch: ``Have you no sense of decency, sir? At long last, have you left no sense of decency?''

While, at the same time, satirist Barry Crimmins was using an image of Joseph McCarthy for his latest post; Politicize this!
















As The Garlic wrote last week, Crimmins was retiring from stage performance, so as to concentrate more on his writing, and "Politicize this!" is the first flare sent out of the chute ... Look for more to come ...

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Read "Politicize this!"

Visit Barry Crimmin's website

Barry Crimmins on The Garlic