With, apparently, the new rules of Scrabble, you can use the proper name "Snagglepuss", which will net you a whopping 15-points (maybe more, if any of your tiles are on a double, or triple, score).
They be messin' with a lot of heads;
Beyonce on a triple-word score? Scrabble to upset purists with 'dumbing down' rule changeThe decision, by games giant Mattel, will allow the celebrity, geographic and sports worlds to invade the most popular word game, leaving many a Scrabble fan bemused, or as the regular player may prefer, bumbazed.
For why memorise some of the 30,000 eight letter words in our rich and quirky English language when the names of pop stars such as Jay-Z or sportsmen like Zico may get you many more points
[snip]
Mattel defends its decision to make the game easier by saying it will level the playing field between experienced players and novices.
But the announcement has caused outrage among regular players with accusations that the company is 'dumbing down' the game.
Keith Churcher, chairman of the Reading Scrabble Club, was dismayed.
He said: 'Players like myself have spent decades memorising words in the dictionary.
'To be trumped by someone with knowledge of the current top ten pop chart is not a welcome prospect.
'They're dumbing down a classic.'
Mary Elizabeth Williams, over at Salon;I'll get the smelling salts ... Proper nouns? Why, that would be like letting the rook move diagonally in chess! Building a hotel before you've bought all the houses on Monopoly! Installing elevators in Chutes and Ladders! Playing quarters with dimes!
But wait, as Williams points out, there's a catch!But not so fast. Writing in Slate, Stefan Fatsis, author of "Word Freak: Heartbreak, Triumph, Genius, and Obsession in the World of Competitive Scrabble Players," told lexicon addicts across the land to call off their dogs. The poorly disseminated real story was that "Mattel, which owns the rights to Scrabble outside of North America, is introducing a game this summer called Scrabble Trickster. The game will include cards that allow players to spell words backward, use proper nouns, and steal letters from opponents." In other words -- it's just a spinoff. And American Scrabble, which is owned by Hasbro, isn't even affected.
As Fatsis explains;So how did this latest games marketing gimmick turn into a global foofaraw? A combination of deceptive corporate shilling and media incompetence. The news of the game, I'm told, first appeared as four lines in a toy industry trade magazine. Then the British media started calling Mattel, and the company appears to have done nothing to disabuse gullible reporters of the idea that a Major Change is occurring. In the Daily Mail, a Mattel spokesman implied that the rules of the game had officially been changed. Mattel would still sell a Scrabble with the "old rules," but this new and improved game would help "level the playing field" between "experienced players with a vast vocabulary" and "players with a love of celebrity or football." Reporters didn't bother calling the Mattel executive in London who oversees competitive Scrabble play outside North America. In the United States and Canada, reporters mostly didn't even make the distinction between Mattel and Hasbro, the game's dueling corporate overlords.
Hmmm ...
Competing Scrabble owners?
Rather abstruse on why they would create this discombobulation, leaving all of us in quite the discomposed state.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Heavens to Murgatroyd!
Ahhh, Ross, They're Hacks Too!
It's nice to see our Ignorant Dolts working, pushing, going at it with vigor, to maintain their dubious status.
Case-in-point this week is the Little-Billy-Kristol-Replacement-Model over at the New York Times, Ross Douthat.
Ross weighed in lamenting about the travails, and sinking ratings of CNN, offering some of his sterling advice.
In it, he stated this;But not the “Crossfire” of 2004. CNN overreacted to Jon Stewart’s jeremiad, but he wasn’t entirely wrong. The show was years removed from its Michael Kinsley/Pat Buchanan glory days, and its liberal hosts at the time, Begala and James Carville, really were Democratic Party hacks. (The conservatives, Carlson and Robert Novak, were much more independent-minded, but the constant need to rebut partisan talking points took its toll on them as well.)
Whoa, hold the phone!
The liberals are hacks, but the conservatives, Tucker Carlson and Robert Novak, are not?
We're talking about 50% of the old "Errors and No Facts" writing team, the guy who had his head up the Bush Grindhouse's ass, helping them out Valerie Plame, not to mention, his mowing down pedestrians on the streets of Washington.
And the little bow-tied He-Man, he consistently threw partisan hand grenades, even going to the point of his "Right Wing" verision of Huffington Post.
You're just playing the old, "IOKIYAR" card there, Ross.
And, The Garlic wasn't the only one to have a little trouble with his column.
Glenn Greenwald took Douthat to school, for erroneously trying to label Rachel Maddow as a hack (which, to his credit, he tried to pull that one back).
Wonkette slapped him around, as well.
Keep at it Ross ...
We knew, early on, putting you on our Ignorant Dolt roster, you wouldn't let us down.
Another Episode from Bizzaro World
While Paul Krugman evoked one Monty Python sketch ("He Was Pining For The Fjords"), we could bring up another, wondering if Eric Idle was walking around the airport, calling out "Bring out your dead ... Bring out your dead";
3 Check In at Airport; 1 Departed BeforehandSomething was not right about the elderly man in the wheelchair, the check-in agents at Liverpool John Lennon Airport thought when he showed up with his wife and stepdaughter for a flight to Germany on Saturday.
For one thing, he appeared not to be breathing.
But efforts by the two women to claim that the man, 91-year-old Willi Jarant, was just resting were thwarted when it turned out that he was, in fact, dead.
[snip]
Some reports suggested that Mr. Jarant might already have been dead for 24 hours and that Mrs. Jarant had been trying to smuggle his body back to Germany, where the couple is from, to avoid the considerable expense and hassle of formal repatriation.
But in various interviews on Tuesday, Mrs. Jarant and Ms. Anusic, who live near Manchester, said that Mr. Jarant had definitely been breathing when they left the house and that, unbeknownst to them, he had expired in transit.
“He was alive,” Ms. Anusic told the BBC. “He was pale, but he wasn’t dead.”
You could say this guy was on some kind of "No Fly" list.
A headshaker, for sure ... 
How 'Bout Some More Bacon, Mr. Taggart?
We had to appropriate, and tweak, that classic line from 'Blazing Saddles' for the title on this one.
Bacon or Bagels? Higher Fat at Breakfast May Be Healthier Than You ThinkThe age-old maxim "Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a pauper" may in fact be the best advice to follow to prevent metabolic syndrome, according to a new University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB) study.
Actually, perhaps a better movie to tag with this, would be Woody Allen's 'Sleeper'.
The study, published online March 30 in the International Journal of Obesity, examined the influence exerted by the type of foods and specific timing of intake on the development of metabolic syndrome characteristics in mice. The UAB research revealed that mice fed a meal higher in fat after waking had normal metabolic profiles. In contrast, mice that ate a more carbohydrate-rich diet in the morning and consumed a high-fat meal at the end of the day saw increased weight gain, adiposity, glucose intolerance and other markers of the metabolic
[snip]
"The first meal you have appears to program your metabolism for the rest of the day," said study senior author Martin Young, Ph.D., associate professor of medicine in the UAB Division of Cardiovascular Disease. "This study suggests that if you ate a carbohydrate-rich breakfast it would promote carbohydrate utilization throughout the rest of the day, whereas, if you have a fat-rich breakfast, you have metabolic plasticity to transfer your energy utilization between carbohydrate and fat."Dr. Melik: This morning for breakfast he requested something called "wheat germ, organic honey and tiger's milk."
Dr. Aragon: [chuckling] Oh, yes. Those are the charmed substances that some years ago were thought to contain life-preserving properties.
Dr. Melik: You mean there was no deep fat? No steak or cream pies or... hot fudge?
Dr. Aragon: Those were thought to be unhealthy... precisely the opposite of what we now know to be true.
Dr. Melik: Incredible.
Maybe you should think about starting the day with one of these sandwiches, and go with extra bacon.
Bonus Food Riffs
Haven't They Seen The Movie?
Top Ten Cloves: Other Ways SouthWest Airlines Thought of Telling Kevin Smith He Was Fat
M'm! M'm! Good!
Spam-A-Lot ...The Eating Kind!
H/T to Charles Blow
This Date ... On The Garlic
7 April 2009... On The Garlic
Hit'em Where It Hurts - Support The Chase Boycott!
7 April 2008... On The Garlic
The Gift That Refuses To Stop Itself From Giving
What If Spartacus Was Running Hillary's Campaign ...
Perrin On McCain, Clinton and Pornographic Ringtones
7 April 2007... On The Garlic
Top Ten Cloves: Things About Having Rachel Ray Planning Your Prom
Ohhh, And We Had Such Nice Plans For Shock and Awe II -The Sequel ... The Results - The Garlic Weekly Poll
The Laura Bush Bummer Bombing-of-the Day; Warning - Bypass this post if you don't want to be discouraged
Editor's Note - Getting Back On Track
7 April 2006... On The Garlic
Libby As Enemy Combatant Unlikely, But Treason Charges Could be Leveled; White House Quiet But Signs Indicate May Mount Offensive Against Libby; Sources Say ‘Everything Is On The Table”, Including Enemy Combatant Status; Rove Working On “Special Smears”
Top Ten Cloves: Things White House Will Say To Claim President Didn’t Leak Classified Information
7 April 2005... On The Garlic
Papal Shocker! Pope's Will Read; Leaves Vatican City To Trump
Bush Snubs Carter On Pope's Funeral
Top Ten Cloves: Other Things Tom DeLay and Family Were Paid For
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Mi Ritorni in Mente
Bad allergy day, Garlic Fans, so we packed it in early, leaving a handful of posts partial written (or just some notes).
Hope to be back in the saddle tomorrow.
In the meantime, here's some nice licks, from Italian trumpet player, Enrico Rava.
Enrico Rava - Mi ritorni in mente
Here's Enrico Rava's website
This Date ... On The Garlic
6 April 2009... On The Garlic
Top Ten Cloves: Ways Tim Geithner Will Fire Bank CEO's
6 April 2008... On The Garlic
Heston Dead; Coroner Can't Pry Gun From Cold Dead Hands ... NRA To Provide Special Custom Casket, If Needed
6 April 2005... On The Garlic
Aliens Jam Arizona Border; Many Disappointed With 'Historic' Minuteman
Pope Mourners Protest Fees; Claim TicketMaster Overcharging
Top Ten Cloves: How ABC Plans To Fill In For Peter Jennings
Monday, April 05, 2010
Our Baseball Essay ... A Day Late, But We'll Explain Who's Playing Shortstop
For the second day, we offer one of our special essays, our letter-producing, much-heralded, all-you-need-to-know, "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?"
While, officially, the season began last evening (and what planet has a baseball season opener at night? Aim your rotten tomatoes at MLB and ESPN), the full slate begins today , in daylight, under afternoon sunshine (hopefully).
And, if you attended, or watched, last night's game, and felt like a polka-playing accordionist time-warp-thrusted into a discotheque, not understanding the game of baseball, not knowing the lingo, or positions, incumbent on being a member of the official fandom of "our national pastime", then you need our essay;There are various breeds of relief pitchers. You have long relievers and short relievers. The title refers not to their size but to the length of time that they pitch. After all, you have long relievers that are short and short relievers that are tall.
Sometimes a relief pitcher will do so well (he’ll have his stuff) that he gets credit with the win.Other times (not having his stuff) he’ll get pinned with the loss. On some occasions, he’ll only get a save, with the win going to the starting pitcher who didn’t have his stuff and couldn’t finish the game, thus being relieved. It even happens that relief pitchers get relieved by other relief pitchers.
Don't worry, we cover all the other positions (including the "opposite field", and "utility fielder"), so after reading "Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?", you can belly up to any bar and banter with the best of them.
And, no, "Who's on First."
Bonus B'Ball Riffs
Tomgram: Robert Lipsyte, Welcome to Fandora ...Root, Root, Root for the Owners… Is Baseball a Fading Allegory for the Fading American Way of Life?
The Savvy Girls of Summer
Breaking News! ... Baseball Bombshell Expands Steroid Scandal ...Giants’ Bonds Tests Positive For Landis Testosterone ... Cyclist Said To Be Kingpin Of Lucrative Doping Ring, Selling His Own DNA
Politics and Sports Collide ...Paperwork Mix-Up Has Feingold Censuring Bonds and MLB Investigating Bush
South Dakota Not Waiting, Bans All Home Runs ...MLB Mulling Changing Status Of Home Runs In Wake Of New Bonds Allegations
Top Ten Cloves: Things That Might Have Happened To Ted Williams' Head
You Don't Hit With Your Face
This Date ... On The Garlic
5 April 2009... On The Garlic
Play Ball! ... The Best Baseball Primer Is Here!
5 April 2008... On The Garlic
Breaking News! MLK, Posthumously, Pardons McCain
No, Wait A Minute ... I Think It Was The Hospital That Was Under Sniper Fire ...
Pass The Word ... Mukasey Lies!
5 April 2006 .. On The Garlic
Look What They're Saying!
5 April 2005 .. On The Garlic
Google Ups Ante In Email Wars; Now 2-Gig, plus Cars, Chickens and Pots
Washington Monument Reopened After Trim; 500-Feet Chopped Off For Security Precautions
Bewitched Tune Writer Dies; Third of Show To Fall From Spell Cast in 1964
Top Ten Cloves: New Changes At CBS Evening News
Sunday, April 04, 2010
Here's A Litte Easter Egg For You
If Jesus had a bracket, what would he do?
Do you think he would have been riding Butler into the championship game, or sticking with the company teams, say, St. Marys?
We have a fine Easter Sunday morning to contemplate such tomfoolery here in the Northeast, with sparkling sunshine, and bizzaro world 75-degree-plus temps.
And, as has become our tradition here on The Garlic, we reprise our special Easter essay;
CHRIST SLEPT HERE: A TALE OF EASTERWhat was I going to say? I couldn’t lie to the guy! Besides, I had a hangover that showed me about as much mercy as an infomercial full of insurance salesman. The last thing I expected to deal with on Easter Sunday morning was to find Jesus Christ Himself lying on my living room floor.
Read through, as you dismember your chocolate bunny.
He sipped his Ovaltine and sat quietly for a moment. Almost an hour had passed since I stumbled out from my bedroom and shouted “Jesus Christ”, only to receive an affirmative response. Now I found myself obsessed with what I was going to serve Him for breakfast.
Happy Easter!
This Date ... On The Garlic
4 April 2009... On The Garlic
Meu Nome é Gal
4 April 2008... On The Garlic
In Your Land, There Was A King ...
4 April 2006... On The Garlic
DeLay Resignation Clears Way For Medal of Freedom Award
Top Ten Cloves: Things To Look Forward To When Katie Couric Takes Over As CBS News Anchor
4 April 2005... On The Garlic - Special Pope Coverage
Who Gets Nod For Next Pope? Conclave Wide Open; Third World, Koppel, Buchanan, Schwarzenegger On Short List
Special Pope-Cam Gives Round-The-Clock Coverage
Frist Concurs With Vatican Diagnosis; Viewed Videotape of Papal Apartment For Hours
Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard At The Red Sox-Yankee Opener
Saturday, April 03, 2010
iToy
It is definitely different this time.
No screaming throngs crammed into Moscone Center, shrieking when the TurtleNecked One steps on to the stage, and starts recreating life, as we know it, with the latest-and-greatest Apple product, all but throwing themselves at his feet, or rushing the stage with their first-born cradled in arms.
Apple has stores now, so they can spread around the Apple Worship, generating buzz with Mister-and-Misses-HaveEveryMacProduct bundled up in well-worn sleeping bags, days in advance, sure to become the local news crews' geek-of-the-week interview.
No, rather than sprinkle the new iPad around to all the acolyte tech bloggers, to gin-up that Cupertino-approved ground buzz, Apple only handed out a few, and detoured from the little guys to go gangbusters mainstream, in living color, on prime time television;
John Biggs, over on CrunchGear;Something struck me about Apple’s handling of the iPad launch this week. Instead of countless nerds spouting off in early reviews, only a few major tech press folks got early samples. Instead, the iPad showed up in a show the missus and I watch, Modern Family.*
That’s right: instead of an overfed talking-head tech reporter pawing over the iPad on morning TV, the iPad got prime-time coverage in a sitcom. Think about the last computer company to get that kind of screen time. Only Microsoft, in their abysmal product placement in Family Guy comes to mind. But in Modern Family the iPad was a major plot point. While I’m sure Apple paid a pretty penny for the exposure, I don’t doubt the folks at ABC would have put the product in for free had Apple asked.
Well, John, it may be that is was a gigantic big, fat freebie wet kiss
Modern Family' Featured an IPad, but ABC Didn't Collect ...Why Apple Didn't Have to Pay for Play -- AgainNEW YORK (AdAge.com) -- Apple may not have paid for its new and much-ballyhooed iPad device to be woven into a main storyline in last night's showing of "Modern Family" on ABC, but everyone is acting as if they did.
Apple has been telling other media outlets it paid nothing for "Family's" bumbling Phil Dunphy character to spend the better part of the program yearning for a new Apple iPad (due out this Saturday) and even stroking the machine wistfully at show's end. And two people familiar with the situation reiterate that notion, telling us Apple and the studio that produces "Modern Family" -- News Corp's 20th Century Fox -- collaborated on its hard-to-miss cameo. Also worth noting: On Twitter, actor Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who plays Mitchell on the show, said "I will say that no 'Product' has been 'Placed' in my itchy little palm. I am excited about the iPad & will probably break down and buy one!"
[snip]
Apple historically doesn't pay for appearances in programming, moreover, and it may not have to. Its gadgets and computers are viewed as status symbols, even cultural icons, so it's no wonder to see shows that want to make characters seem hip -- witness the perennial appearance of an Apple laptop in HBO's "Sex and the City" -- happily weave its goods into scenes and hands.
[snip]
Even without Apple plunking down any cash, last night's episode was tantamount to a huge wet kiss of approval for a product that has yet to be tested by actual consumer use. And it comes after "Modern Family" has helped burnish the Toyota name, allowing its characters to drive cars from the automaker, which has suffered after some of its cars were said to accelerate unexpectedly.
The hallowed buzz Job's is seeking is coming in, a bit muted, a little fuzzy.
The new product has thrown the Tech Heads a curve ball.
iPad isn't a computer, as much as it is an enlarged iPhone, minus the calling features, a technological piece of catnip, designed to have all the little MacKitties rub up against it, and then pull out their wallets at Apple's Citizen Kane-level domination ambitions, the AppStore.
I doubt we'll hear of injuries, or death, of someone's iPad suddenly accelerating, however, and especially for 'Modern Family' fans, we can't vouch for the safety of someone jumping into their Toyota's, to rush off to the nearest Apple Store.
It's really sounding like, more-or-less, an iToy.
Joshua Brustein, in the NYT Bits column today;Much of this excitement comes from people who would never give a second thought to the restrictions Apple put on those developing software for the device. As both David Pogue and David Carr pointed out, the iPad is really a tool to consume media, not create content.
WOW!
To have an iPad, we have to double-up, first, being "consumers", taking that first step of saying "I want to buy an iPad", and then, once we have it, we have to "consume" media.
Which, if you've followed us, will be ready, and amply-stocked, at the AppStore.
Brustein was responding to Cory Doctorow, over on Boing Boing (where his colleague there, Xeni Jardin, loves it), who is putting on the iBrakes;
Why I won't buy an iPad (and think you shouldn't, either)Incumbents made bad revolutionaries
Relying on incumbents to produce your revolutions is not a good strategy. They're apt to take all the stuff that makes their products great and try to use technology to charge you extra for it, or prohibit it altogether.
[snip]
But with the iPad, it seems like Apple's model customer is that same stupid stereotype of a technophobic, timid, scatterbrained mother as appears in a billion renditions of "that's too complicated for my mom" (listen to the pundits extol the virtues of the iPad and time how long it takes for them to explain that here, finally, is something that isn't too complicated for their poor old mothers).
The model of interaction with the iPad is to be a "consumer," what William Gibson memorably described as "something the size of a baby hippo, the color of a week-old boiled potato, that lives by itself, in the dark, in a double-wide on the outskirts of Topeka. It's covered with eyes and it sweats constantly. The sweat runs into those eyes and makes them sting. It has no mouth... no genitals, and can only express its mute extremes of murderous rage and infantile desire by changing the channels on a universal remote."
The way you improve your iPad isn't to figure out how it works and making it better. The way you improve the iPad is to buy iApps. Buying an iPad for your kids isn't a means of jump-starting the realization that the world is yours to take apart and reassemble; it's a way of telling your offspring that even changing the batteries is something you have to leave to the professionals.
Read all of Doctrow's post, as he goes on to slap the MSM upside the head, calling their fawning over Apple "Journalism is looking for a daddy figure," as he lays out more reasons to avoid the iPad.
Apple has the status-thing down pat, so we will soon be seeing breathless stories of the iPad "flying off the shelves", which may, or may not be followed, in the months ahead, of complaining, that all the iPad can do is "consume media", or the caterwauling of all the different apps one will have to purchase, to have that "iPad" experience.
It is in the end, a gadget, and there will be other gadgets to follow, to compete with the iPad. minus, of course, the glitter of Apple Status, that will drive down cost, and populate the landscape with all kinds of "media consumers".
All well-and-good, until Apple puts out iPad.02.
That is, of course, if Job's didn't misread the "consuming media" thing, and doesn't suddenly turn into Adam Osborne.
Bonus Riffs
Emily Holleman: A roundup of the early iPad reviews ...Apple's new tablet won't be released until Saturday, but the early notices are favorable -- with a few gripes
Danny O'Brien's Oblomovka: cd-roms and ipads
Juli Weiner: iPad Backlash: The Time is Nigh
Ravi Somaiya: iPad Backlash: The iPad is Not Your Savior
More iToy/iPad at Techmeme
Bonus Bonus Riffs
Apple Settles With Cisco!; Rolling Dice With New iBeckham Phone ...Jobs Promises Aging Soccer Star Can Store "Billions of Photos" of Himself; New "Posh" Command Added
New iPod Phone Requires Downloading Calls
Apple Takes Blog Ruling As New Club On Criticism and Dissent
Friday, April 02, 2010
Haven't They Seen The Movie?
Talk about Sisyphus, pushing the rock uphill.
World's 'freshest organic' cola set to launch next weekLONDON - Cow Cola is to be launched next week with backing from a number of leading US investors, and the positioning 'Made on farms. Not in factories'.
(Here's their website, though, it doesn't appear to be working properly)
The company aims to challenge Coca-Cola and Pepsi in the soft drinks sector, positioning itself as a more natural, healthier and better-tasting product than its rivals.
[snip]
The product gets its name from the way that it has been manufactured, as the drink is made from genetically engineered cows, as opposed to being created in a factory.
The origins of Cow Cola go back to 1996, when a farmer in Lithuania discovered his milk was cola-flavoured. It was later discovered that his neighbour, a bar owner, was pouring waste cola from his bar onto the field where the cows grazed to make the grass grow better.
Scientists at the agricultural chemical giant Copsi acquired the cow and, over 10 years, have genetically engineered a breed of cow to produce a pure cola (without any milk content).
Holy Cow!
They've got two major-league fastballs to hit here.
One, taking on Coca Cola, Pepsi, and the gaggle of other second-tier cola drink-makers, is going to be formidable, to understate it .
And, secondly, they have to sell the concept of genetically-engineered cows, that produce cola, instead of milk.
Let's throw that one into a Heartland focus group.
Here's a video on this 'Cow Cola' and note how, in Part II, the farmer laments his cow producing cola, how "that is not right" and how the chemical company took the cow and now it only produces cola, and that he wants to change over and become a chicken farmer;
Cow Cola, the Camper & the Farmer
A commentor offers "Copsi are a big agricultural chemical company who have been dealing in GM for years. This is really frightening stuff."
And if this isn't making an impression on their chances of marketing this stuff successfully, somebody needs to get them a DVD, or video, of the 1985 movie, 'The Coca Cola Kid' (A nice little film, very funny, with a young Eric Roberts and young, as well as quite fetching, Greta Scacchi; Here's the trailer for it).
Maybe, along with producing cola, they can get the cow to push that rock up the hill.
Me thinks, if cows could produce cola, simply by feeding them coca-cola-saturated grass, Coke (or Pepsi) would have had this wrapped up decades ago.
Perhaps it would evolve, into a story today, of a rum-producing bovine.
Bonus Riffs
Retro Garlic ... “There’s a food Ponzi scheme going on’’
Strap On Your Tinfoil Chefs' Hats
M'm! M'm! Good!
Spam-A-Lot ...The Eating Kind!
Top Ten Cloves: Ways Spinach Industry Plans To Overcome E. Coli Setback
Send Ronald McDonald To The Cornfield!
Where's Timmy, from that classic Twilight Zone episode, when you really need him?
To me, it has always seemed that Ronald McDonald was like the obsequious, caddy, bad-dressing friend/uncle/co-worker, take your pick, that doesn't get it that he is not cool and hip.
Even that they have regulated him, primarily, to their charity work, he still pops up and it still provokes a gastrointestinal groan.
So, we have someone out on the front lines, looking to address the situation;
Group Aims to Send Ronald McDonald to Retirement Home ...Compares McD's Clown to the Late Joe CamelOne of the groups that led the ultimately successful campaign to banish Joe Camel from advertising now has a new target: Ronald McDonald.
(Here's CAI's website)
"It's time that Ronald McDonald joined Joe Camel in retirement," argues Corporate Accountability International on its "Retire Ronald" website. "These tired mascots should be spending their golden years relaxing and sharing tales of their bygone days spent targeting children with deadly products."
It's past the level that Ronald McDonald does a disservice to clowns, real, funny, entertaining clowns.
And, it has long been specious for McDonald's to target the youngest of our population with the use of a manufactured, second-rate, corporate clown.
A commentor, on Ad Age's site has it;The clown is over anyway. He has no appeal to children and despite sad attempts to yank him into the 21st century (slimmed down, riding a skateboard and using 'hip,' txt-speak) he is not relevant or fun. I mean, have you EVER known a kid who was into Ronald? CAI's campaign could be great for McDonald's. They start a dialog, act all concerned, then phase out this outdated brand figure. Or better yet, retire him to some bronze plaque outside the Ronald McDonald House Charity.
If they don't retire him, at least they can change their signs to read "Over 1-Billion Duped".
Another Great One Gone ... Jazz Guitarist Herb Ellis
We caught a post this morning that, truly, brought with it a good deal of sadness.
Legendary jazz guitarist Herb Ellis has passed.
I had seen him perform live, countless times, back in the 80;s and 90's and it was always, always, an uplifting, in-the-groove, performance.
Emma Brown notes that "Mr. Ellis was a member during the 1950s of the Oscar Peterson trio, which served as the house recording band for Verve Records and accompanied a who's-who of jazz greats, including Louis Armstrong, Roy Eldridge, Harry "Sweets" Edison and Ben Webster."
Legendary is almost an understatement.
From the New York Times;
Herb Ellis, Jazz Guitarist, Is Dead at 88Mr. Ellis was an early disciple of Charlie Christian, whose deft improvisations, built on long single-note lines, established the template for modern jazz guitar in the 1940s. But he was always more than an imitator: his style mixed the harmonic sophistication of bebop with the earthy directness of the blues and seasoned the blend with a twang more typical of country music than jazz.
While never a major star, he was long a favorite of critics and musicians. In 1959 a fellow guitarist, Jim Hall, praised his “fantastic fire and drive.” In 1990 Gary Giddins of The Village Voice raved about the “easy, loping quality” of his playing, “buoyed by familiar dissonances yet surprisingly free of cliché.”
[snip]
He first attracted wide attention during his five-year stint with Peterson’s popular group, which, like the Soft Winds, included a bassist (Ray Brown) but no drummer. The absence of a percussionist required Mr. Ellis to provide the rhythmic foundation for Peterson’s energetic playing as well as the guitar solos; he did it so well that when he left the trio in 1958, Peterson replaced him not with another guitarist but with a drummer.
Keith Thursby/LA Times - Herb Ellis dies at 88; jazz guitarist
Mike Finnigan - C&L's Late Night Music Club, RIP Herb Ellis
Herb Ellis, on Wikipedia
Here's some tunes, and we highly encourage you to explore, and seek out, some of Herb Ellis's music.
Herb Ellis - Sweet Georgia Brown (1986)
Freddie Green Herb Ellis Orange, Brown and Green
Barney Kessel & Herb Ellis - Flintstones Theme
RIP Herb Ellis!
This Date ... On The Garlic
2 April 2009... On The Garlic
It Never Entered My Mind
2 April 2008... On The Garlic
A Little Yoo Wop
I Missed Home Ec For This!
2 April 2007... On The Garlic
Look No Further, Your Handy Baseball Primer
2 April 2006... On The Garlic
Special Essay - Play Ball! ... Batter Up! Could You Please Tell Me, What Is This Thing Called Baseball?
Garlic Poll Results: Most People Think The PNAC Is ...
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Google Reciprocates ...
Earlier this month, we brought to you the news that Topeka, Kansas, in their channeling of Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, was changing their name to Google, Kansas, in an effort to land a fiber optic deal Google is rolling out.
So, today, Google CEO Eric Schmidt returned the favor;
A different kind of company nameEarly last month the mayor of Topeka, Kansas stunned the world by announcing that his city was changing its name to Google. We’ve been wondering ever since how best to honor that moving gesture. Today we are pleased to announce that as of 1AM (Central Daylight Time) April 1st, Google has officially changed our name to Topeka.
[snip]
A change this dramatic won’t happen without consequences, perhaps even some disruptions. Here are a few of the thorny issues that we hope everyone in the broader Topeka community will bear in mind as we begin one of the most important transitions in our company’s history:
Michael Arrington wasn't amused, but Boing Boing jumped into the spirit of things;Also, Googlers are henceforth to be known as Topekans. Employees of Topeka who were originally from Kansas, be prepared for long, confusing conversations with your parents. No word on how this will effect stock holders. But if things go poorly, and you end up owning a hunk of the Sunflower State, the Konza Prairie is lovely this time of year. Just saying.
Additionally, Vladislav Savov, over on Engadet has a round-up of AFD hijinx, and it is hysterical.
We were rather partial to the "World's First Inflatable Lap Top" and "Real Helicopter Controlled by Nokia N900".
Happy April Fool's Day!
Bonus Google Riffs
Top Ten Cloves: Possible Reasons Google Flu Tracker Didn't Pick Up Swine Flu
Life Imitates Art ... Or, Did Burt Lancaster Invent Google Earth?
Breaking News! Giant Search Engine Downed By GOP and RNC Staffers ...Google Crashes! Besieged With “I’m Feeling Lucky” Searches From White House, Congress ...Amazon, D.C. Novelty Stores Hit With Run On Magic 8-Balls
Hey Davenport Iowa, Use Our List Next Time!
Much in the spirit of Eddie Izzards "Flag" routine, or Burgess Meredith's grunting "You need a manager" mantra in Rocky, Davenport, you need to have a better plan.
Davenport, Iowa, that is.
See, they took the bold step of actually doing that "separation of church and state" thing
Iowa Town Renames Good Friday to 'Spring Holiday'One week before the most solemn day in the Christian year, the city of Davenport, Iowa removed Good Friday from its municipal calendar, setting off a storm of complaints from Christians and union members whose contracts give them that day off.
Ahh, as you might anticipate, it got a bit noisy, so they backed down;
Taking a recommendation by the Davenport Civil Rights Commission to change the holiday's name to something more ecumenical, City Administrator Craig Malin sent a memo to municipal employees announcing Good Friday would officially be known as "Spring Holiday."
[snip]
"We merely made a recommendation that the name be changed to something other than Good Friday," said Tim Hart, the commission's chairman. "Our Constitution calls for separation of church and state. Davenport touts itself as a diverse city and given all the different types of religious and ethnic backgrounds we represent, we suggested the change."City employees, beginning with local police, feared the name change would violate their union contracts with the city, which specifies Good Friday as an official municipal holiday. Employees that work city holidays are paid time and a half.
Davenport officials called the name change an "error."
"The City of Davenport will be observing "Good Friday" as a City Holiday on April 2," read a statement released today.
"City Administrator Malin, in error, forwarded the recommendation to staff for further review and action, leading to release of a holiday notice with the holiday named 'Spring Holiday,' rather than "Good Friday," read the release.
All you had to do, Davenport, was contact us here at The Garlic.
We could have helped you out on selling this thing.
We have a list, you could have pulled from, to punch up the proposal;Top Ten Cloves: Things The Vatican Has Done To Make Good Friday Even Better
Next time, call us.
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