Apple Settles With Cisco!; Rolling Dice With New iBeckham Phone

Jobs Promises Aging Soccer Star Can Store "Billions of Photos" of Himself; New "Posh" Command Added

Sources have told The Garlic that Apple, Inc has settled its' iPhone dispute with Cisco Systems and CEO Steve Jobs will immediately announce the introduction of a new device, the iBeckham.

The "Beckham" in the name is that of soccer superstar David Beckham, who gained fame with Manchester United and Real Madrid, and recently signed to play with the Los Angeles Galaxy of the Major League Soccer here in the United States.

The two companies have been in deep negotiations, after Cisco sued Apple for copyright infringement on the name "iPhone". Cisco had acquired the rights to "iPhone" back in 2000, after purchasing the company InfoGear, who had acquired the copyright in 1996.

Jobs then angered Cisco last month, when announcing at MacWorld, the debut of Apple's "iPhone".

"The iPod changed everything in 2001. We're going to do it again with the iPhone in 2007, said Jobs"

Same Phone, New "Posh"

The iBeckham phone is, essentially, the same device as the iPhone Jobs displayed last month, with an OS X operating system, multi-touch keypad, camera and wireless-ready.

Sources say that Jobs is touting the iBeckham can store billions of photos of the aging soccer superstar, including still shots and video.

"You can TIVO a game he's in, and then download to the iBeckham and watch it as you will," said another source, who has had the iBeckham for nearly a week.

And there is one new feature, the "Posh" button.

Jobs added the Posh button in honor of the soccer stars' wife, Victoria, the former Posh Spice of the Spice Girls.

The Posh button will allow the iBeckham user to, with one touch, download all of the Spice Girls music from iTunes.

More Legal Troubles Ahead?

However, more legal trouble could lay ahead for Jobs and Apple, according to Daria Pannesi, editor of 'In The Loot', the newsletter for high tech dollar traders.

"As best as we can tell, says Pannesi, "Jobs doesn't have a deal with Beckham. There's no agreement, no contract."

"He [Jobs] may," added Pannesi, "have to backtrack and throw another name on it - again, if he wants to get the market behind him. They can't afford to be tied up in litigation any longer or the market passes them by."

iBeckham To Be A Franchise For Apple

Sources say that Jobs is aware of the legalities, and has laid out an aggressive plan that will make the iBeckham a major franchise for Apple, and win over the real life Beckham.

Apple, according to the Jobs' plan, will fund a new movie sequel, 'Bend It Like The iBeckham; The Curse of the Black Pearls In Dead Man's Chest At World's End', which will pick up from both the original Beckham film and serve as the 4th installment of Pirates of the Caribbean franchise.

The storyline picks up from the original ''Bend It Like Beckham' has the decedents of Kiera Knightly and Johnny Depp attending the same U.S. college as Jess, played by Parminder Nagra, who aids the pair with finding a key piece of lost treasure that will save the world, using only her new iBeckham phone. Knightly will play duel roles, as Elizabeth Swann and Jules Paxton, with a special appearance by Martin Sheen, as Bobby Kennedy.

Those plans are already in motion, while Jobs lays the groundwork for a second-generation release iBeckham, tentatively named iBobby and shoot a sequel of the 2006 film 'Bobby', in which the iBobby phone will play a key role in solving a conspiracy.

"It's the ultimate product placement," Jobs is heard to have said.

The iBeckham will get screen credit and Apple will support a campaign for Best Supporting Actor for the iBeckham when the time comes.

"We want to make history with it," Jobs gushed.

'Bend It Like The iBeckham; The Curse of the Black Pearls In Dead Man's Chest At World's End' will be available, according to Jobs, "within in days" for downloading to the iBeckham, after the theatre release.

And like all Apple products now released, the iBeckham will be equipped with the iSqueal, the feature a user can employ to immediately report to Apple any disparaging remarks aimed at the company.

Will Jobs score a goal with the new iBeckham?

Top Ten Cloves: Things Tim Hardaway Will Do This Weekend Instead of Going To NBA All-Star Game

News Item: Hardaway Banished for Anti-Gay Remarks

10. Start lobbying his Congressman to get a non-binding resolution passed, that Congress doesn't approve of gay people in basketball

9. Pull out his boxed set of John Wayne films and, vicariously, bond with the screen icon

8. Get annoyed, when he has to defend and explain to reporters that that "UTEP Two-Step" was a basketball move

7. Badger his agent to get him an audtion to be in the Miller Beer Man Law commericals

6. Work the phone like crazy, to put together a group of investors, buy an NBA team, make sure all the players are straight and change team name to "The Homophobics"

5. Eat, very carefully, Snickers Bars

4. Start pouring through the Yellow Pages for a good Rehab clinic

3. The locker room ... The showers ... Deal with panic attacks, over the thought of how many ex-teammates might have been gay

2. Call up Vice President Dick Cheney and ask if it's okay to tell the media "you're out of line with that question" if the start bugging him

1. Get Reverend Ralph to publically say that Tim Hardaway is "Completely Heterosexual"

Will Tim Hardaway seek a "Man Law" to ban the consumption of Snickers Bars?

MSNBC Readying 24-Hour Anna Nicole Smith Channel

Cosby To Be Sole Anchor; New Packaged "Anna-Blocs" To Debut On Flagship Channel

Saying it is not simply a February Sweeps Month promotion, MSNBC President Dan Abrams hinted an announcement will be coming soon, on a new 24-Hour Anna Nicole Smith Channel that will debut as part of an expanded MSNBC network.

"This story not only has legs," said an earnest Abrams, "but it growing new legs ... It's almost endless on how long we can run with this."

With the flagship MSNBC channel devoting more-and-more air time to nearly every squeak of news that is coming out of the Ms. Smith's post-death legal hearings, and often leading into longer pieces detailing the former Playboy centerfold's life, Abrams believes the venture is both "needed, and can be profitable."

The website Think Progress noted on the day after Smith's death, MSNBC was the leader as to its' coverage

"NBC’s Nightly News devoted 14 seconds to Iraq compared to 3 minutes and 13 seconds to Anna Nicole. CNN referenced Anna Nicole 522% more frequently than it did Iraq. MSNBC was even worse — 708% more references to Anna Nicole than Iraq."

To that end, this morning, as President Bush gave a speech on the Afghanistan War at the American Enterprise Institute, that had both MSNBC rivals CNN and Fox News carrying the speech live, in it's entirety, while MSNBC broadcast a hearing in Florida over the disposition of releasing Ms. Smith's body for burial.

"This is a story that will write itself, continued Abrams. "There are hundreds of thousands of people out there that came in contact with Anna Nicole Smith and they all have stories to tell. We won't have any problem getting advertisers to support this channel."

"Given the mysterious nature of Smith's death; the "take a number" controversy surrounding who sired her baby daughter; and the bonanza of Benjamins in the balance, cable couldn't have concocted a better story," wrote Gail Shister of the Philadelphia Inquirer.

Abrams defended the launching of the channel devoted only to Anna Nicole Smith.

"It's not just tabloid news we have here," sniped Abrams. "There's a pending Supreme Court decision and we also have substantial legal issues with her burial and the still-unresolved paternity issue. I think we've only seen the tip-of-the-iceberg as to potential fathers and that will only mean more court time."

The latest to step forward claiming to be father of Smith's daughter, Dannielynn is the noted, world-renowned physicist Stephen Hawking.

Abrams indicated that he is considering making MSNBC Special Units reporter Rita Cosby the sole anchor of the new Anna Nicole Smith channel and that reports and in-studio interviews will be packaged for a new series of "Anna-Blocs", to compliment the on-going MSNBC series of Doc-Block programming on law and justice.

Abrams would neither confirm or deny rumors that he was courting CNN's Anderson Cooper to fill the void of MSNBC's Special Units reporting if Cosby is tapped to anchor the Anna Nicole Smith channel.

"I kinda wish we had different circumstances here," conceded Abrams.

"Instead of dying, we could have really landed the golden goose if she had simply gone missing in the Bahamas, a la Natalee Holloway ... Another white woman - this one a beautiful, wealthy celebrity - goes missing on an island ... I could retire a rich man on the back of that story ..."

Bonus Link

Anna and the Astronaut Trigger a Week of Tabloid News











Rita Cosby (left) is rumored to be tapped to anchor a new Anna Nicole Smith channel MSNBC is slated to launch

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Mitt Romney's Announcement To Run For President

News Item: Romney Joins the 2008 Race

10. Announced that his former company, Bain Capital will purchase the bus company that rival Senator John McCain is renting his "Straight Talk Express" from, confiscate the bus and rename it the "Innovation and Transformation Express"

9. Ignored questions about his youthful looks but emphatically denied he was the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby

8. If elected, plans on having the Olympic Theme played everytime he enters a room, instead of 'Hail To The Chief'

7. Said, if he was President, his Surge Plan would go much better because he'll have wiretapped mosques beforehand

6. Speculated that his latest position on abortion will probably hold up through the campaign

5. The grandchildren who attended the announcement kept pestering him on why he didn't have a big gavel they could play with

4. Says he understands, and is ready to face the "Is he Mormon enough" questions

3. Plans on being inclusive, and having Bill Donohoe, president of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights, vet his bloggers

2. Assured crowd, that if you can get past the name "Mitt", there's no weirdness factor in his dossier

1. Chose the Ford Museum, mistakenly believing the funeral for former President Gerald Ford was still going on and could catch the draft from it

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Dixie Chicks Can Begin To Win Back Country Music Fans

News Item: Country radio still cold to Dixie Chicks

10. Offer to go up into Upstate New York and shovel all the snow

9. Announce next new album - All John Philips Sousa, but with a country twist

8. Natalie Maines can win over Australian country music fans, saying that she is proud that Prime Minister John Howard comes from Australia

7. Natalie Maines can win over U.S. country music fans and say that she's embarrassed that Barak Obama comes from Illinois

6. Use big Grammy win to get guest spots on '24' and have script written that they save Nashville from terrorist bombs

5. Offer to testify for Scooter Libby

4. Get Bush Administration to make new claim that Iranian-made weapons are destroying troops Country Music CD's

3. Refuse any interview requests from Wolf Blitzer

2. Write a song about her and donate the five Grammys to Anna Nicole Smith's now-orphaned daughter

1. Even though is about three-years late, announce that Maines is entering into Rehab

"Yes, Dear, I'll Play Nice With the Democrats" ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Well, considering the rhetoric coming out of the White House for most of his term, you had to be skeptical as to President Bush's appearance at the Democratic Retreat last weekend.

After all, if he was adopting "The Godfather" policy, he'd need a few hundred Air Forces One's to tote around that entourage.

So, it seems our Garlic Poll voters figured it out, that the First Lady must have sent him out the door, admonishing him to play nice - and remind him just how long the next two-years can be.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll February 5 - February 10, 2007

President Bush's attendance and speech at the Democratic Retreat this past weekend may be that ...

1. He was going to blow it off, but Laura made him go Tally 31%

2. He's adopting the "Godfather" policy of keeping his friends close, but his enemies closer Tally 27%

3. Heard they had a huge Super Bowl pot in the works and wanted to go and personally pick his squares Tally 22%

4. Since he's going to be asking Congress for billions more for his Iraq Occupation, getting an early jump on buttering them up Tally 20%

This week’s Poll - If Vice President Dick Cheney is called to testify in the Scooter Libby Trial, Cheney is likely to ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 11 February 2007

Actor Daniel Radcliffe said that after appearing in the stage production of 'Equus', sans clothing, that he has been lobbying author J.K. Rowling to rewrite the final Harry Potter book, with "Harry not wearing any clothes".

Said Radcliffe, "we could demonstrate, quite well, that Harry is no longer a little boy and we could generate an entire new audience to keep the series going."



















Coincidentally, former New Life Church pastor Ted Haggard, who announced last week that, after an intensive three-week program, he is now "completely heterosexual", is reported, after seeing Radcliffe's performance, to have contacted Rowling, also suggesting that she rewrite Harry Potter so that Radcliffe can appear in future Potter movies in the nude.


















Former Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz said he backs President Bushs' new surge policy, and his continued threats against Iran.

Said Wolfewitz, "If you simply reuse the material we had for the build-up to invading Iraq, the run-up to war with Iran should pay for itself"















Lt. General David Petraeus frustrated lawmakers at a recent hearing , when asked how much longer he sees U.S. troops in Iraq, motioned with his hands, saying "This much"




















With the evidence, to-date, in the trial of former Assistant to the President, and Vice President Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby detailing a much deeper and hands-on role by Vice President Cheney, The Garlic has obtained a photograph entered into evidence, of Cheney in the his office, on a typical work day



















Senator Barak Obama, who, yesterday announced his candidacy for president, said if people want to make his race an issue, that he would expect "fair play" and that "the other candidates be charged with not being white enough."

Obama added, that in the case of New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson, Richardson "would have to decide on either not being white enough, or not being Hispanic enough"

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons Tim Russert Didn't Ask Scooter Libby About Joe Wilson and His Wife

News Item: Washington Journalism on Trial

10. Thinks Libby's call came in after five o'clock and, hey, that's quittin' time and I'm outta here

9. Was so excited that the chief of staff of the vice president of the United States was on the telephone, just tried to hurry Libby off the phone, so he could call "Big Russ" and tell him about it

8. Was concentrating on Libby dissing Chris Matthews, so he could get it right and start spreading office gossip

7. The little "Scoop" light on this telephone must not have been working that day

6. Got lost in thought during the Libby call, that, if he had refused to testify and got thrown in jail, would Libby write him a note and tell him that he misses seeing Russert on televison and that the "aspens are turning"

5. Can only ask tough questions, in the studio, with a big monitor superimposed behind him, displaying callers previous statements

4. Was afraid that if he asked too many questions, he'd have to face Mary Matalin the next day

3. Swore that he thought the call was from Tom Brokaw, pulling a gag on him

2. Feared Cheney might be listening in on an extension and didn't want to blow MTP bookings

1. Was totally preoccupied with getting some stubborn blue ink off of his little white board

Libby Trial Update - The Scooter and Cheney Show Theme Song

This is becoming like a huge, gigantically-oversized TIVO machine, with both electronic and human parts.

One end of town, you have the White House, and Vice President's Office, going about their business of continuing the big lie and pushing the escalation of the occupation of Iraq, while at the other end, you have the audiotapes of former Assistant to the President and Vice President Chief of Staff I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby being played in open court, with the Scooter squirming and spilling of what was going on behind the scenes, to sell the above-referenced occupation of Iraq.

It just doesn't get any better than this.

So, we reach back to the delicious sit-com of the mid-1960's, The Patty Duke Show, to borrow their zany opening theme song and give it, as a gift, to the dynamic duo.

The Scooter and Cheney Show

Meet Scooter, who's leaked most everywhere,
From Zanzibar to You-Know-Where.
But Cheney's only seen the lights.
A Neocon can with preemptive rights
What a crazy pair!

But they're conspirators
Identical conspirators all the way.
One pair of matching liars,
Different as night and day.

Where Scooter adores his sobriquet,
The aspens turning, a literary vignette,
Our Cheney loves to Shock and Awe,
A Bunker Buster drops his jaw --
What a wild duet!

Still, they're conspirators,
Identical conspirators and you'll find,
They leak alike, they gossip alike,
At times they even lie alike

You can lose your mind,
When conspirators are two of a kind.

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Reverend Ralph Verified Tim Haggard Was "Completely Heterosexual"

News Item: Haggard now "completely heterosexual"

10. Plans on getting the Miller Lite Men in the Square Room to rescind and ban that it’s it’s okay to get a massage and do crystal meth with a gay male escort

9. Has blocked and filtered straight to Junk Mail any IM's or E-Mails from MAF54 on his Blackberry

8. Keeps watching the Paris Hilton Anti-Gay and Racial Slurs Video over-and-over

7. Loved the Snickers Super Bowl Commercial; Ripped his own chest hair out while watching it

6. Watched while Haggard threw away all his "Will and Grace" videos

5. Haggard kept making manly, lascivious comments while watching the Celtic Woman video

4. According to wife, "Ted's a very, very romantic guy. We love watching 'Sleepless in Seattle.' Can you imagine my big testosterone-factor husband doing that?"

3. Put him in a room, one-on-one, with Isiah Washington and Washington, not once, hurled any homophobic insults at him

2. President Bush helped; It wasn't "urges" that Haggard was seeking to act on, but he was getting the calling for "surges"

1. Haggard has new admission - He wants to have an affair with Gavin Newsom's campaign manager's wife














According to Reverend Ralph, Haggard kept making manly, lascivious comments while watching the Celtic Woman video, proving his heterosexuality

Flutie Sends "Cease-and-Desist" Letter To Media Over 'Hail Mary' References Regarding Surge

Diminutive QB Longtime Copyright Holder; "It Still Feeds My Family"; Says Open To Negotiate On Usage

Using the big bully pulpit of Super Bowl XVI, former NFL Quarterback Doug Flutie said that he has begun sending out "Cease-and-Desist" letters to the media - newspapers, magazines, television, cable, blogs and zines - regarding their usage of the term "Hail Mary Pass" in describing the Bush Administration's Iraq Occupation and escalation policies.

"It still feeds my family,' said the diminutive Flutie, a Heisman Trophy winner, who toiled for 21 seasons in professional football, first in the Canadian Football League, for eight-years, before entering into the NFL.

Flutie retired after the 2005 season, at age 43, from the New England Patriots. In the final game of the season, Flutie "dropped kicked" a field goal, the first such feat in the NFL since 1941.

Flutie is most associated with the "Hail Mary Pass" for leading a stirring comeback, in 1984

With his Boston College team trailing Miami 45-41, and only six-seconds remaining in the game, Flutie heaved his Hail Mary Pass towards the end zone. The ball sailed over a group of defenders and into the arms of BC receiver Gerald Phelan for the win.

Since that moment, the term "Hail Mary Pass" has been used frequently and often, in the context of football games and some other sporting events, but only very recently has been applied to politics.

Flutie, at a beach front press conference said that with the "explosion" of usage of the "Hail Mary Pass" phrase coming out of Washington, he had to take action.

"It's just like the music downloading," said Flutie. "If you don't own the copyright, it's not yours to use."

The term, along with the word "surge" began last month, in the days before President Bush's "New Way Forward" speech to the nation, when White House staff began leaking out portions of the President's new policy.

In a study conducted by the Project for Excellennce In Journalism, the phrase 'Hail Mary Pass" showed up in over 330 stories during the week of January 10-17. The word "Surge", according to the study, appeared in 18,118 stories, followed at a distance by
the word “escalate” or “escalation,” with 10,112 placements.

"I've seen the PEJ Study," offered Flutie, "and it was a key factor in directing my attorneys to take this action. If someone wants to make me an offer, I'll listen"

Flutie admitted that it is likely, at some point, for someone to come along and throw a better "Hail Mary Pass" but that "I want to see that done on the field, not just mouthing off in a newspaper."

"You've also been slinging around the "Hail Maliki Pass" (227 stories according to the PEJ Study) ... Now, it's up to President Maliki if he wants to join my call, but it's also pretty disingenuous to use it ... I mean, I didn't see Baghdad University ever put out a football team and I don't remember seeing President Maliki beat Miami with a last-second touchdown pass."

Flutie's Miracle in Miami

Excuse Me Congressman, That's My Lawn Chair You're Stepping On ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Okay, we may have spiked the choices last week, with the "Old White Guys Caucus", but, hey, it was too obvious - and juicy - to pass up.

As to Congressman Tancredo, what can you say? At least he didn't gush that the Black and Hispanic Caucuses were "clean and articulate".

With his buddy, Duncan "We'll-Build-A-Wall-To-Keep-Them-Out" Hunter already announcing he's running for President. already announcing he's running for President, may the Colorado representative, who's only thinking about running, is just floating out some new ideas, giving the Immigration issue to Chez Hunter.

The voters in the Garlic's Weekly Poll last week went with the Lawn Chair Militia, and they'll probably scatter into the Capital just as soon as they return from their Super Bowl patrol, with Congressman Tancredo.

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll January 28 - February 3, 2007

If Congressman Tom Tancredo (R-CO) can't, as he hopes he can, abolish race-based caucuses, he'll likely ...

1. Hire the Arizona Minuteman to sit near the Black and Hispanic Caucus Rooms in lawn chairs Tally 37%

2. Start an "Old White Guys" Caucus (not to be mistaken for the Congress itself) Tally 33%

3. Submit legislation to build a 700-mile wall around them Tally 30%


This week’s Poll - President Bush's attendance and speech at the Democratic Retreat this past weekend may be that ...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Our Girl Condi Gets A Theme Song - Neocons and Lovers

Well, Well, Well ...

After being pushed back into the shadows, first by our Decider, make that Decision-Maker's, New Way Forward Surge Speech, and then his sans-New Orleans, Civilian Reserves Corp-laden SOTU, and following that, we had Vice President Darth Vader making his splash, beating down Wolf Blitzer and topping his "final throes" with declaring our Iraq Occupation to be "enormous success", and sandwiched in there was the First Lady and Liz Cheney picking on poor Condi.

What's our top globe-trotting, piano-playing, error-admitting diplomat to do?

If you're Super Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, you grab the cover of the latest U.S. edition of Time Magazine, perhaps as a forerunner to a statement declaring 2007 as "Year of the Condi".



The puff piece "The Weight Of The World" certainly paints poor Condi as caught between a rock-and-a-hard place and how-could-that-happen-to-someone-so-brilliant?

And in a second article, an interview "This Can Be Done Through Diplomacy", no doubt she'll be standing on the carpet in the Oval Office, having to explain to Dubya" why she's reading from the Iraq Study Group pages and not his.

Yet, while not ready to go off with Cheney and Rumsfield to one their Armageddon Retreats, Our Girl Condi is putting Dubya's legacy ahead of hers and is dancing the beat of the Surge.

Maybe she is a Neocon, dressed in diplomat's clothing.

So, while The Garlic has, on many occasions, put the musical spotlight on the two people who keep getting in Condi's way - Bush and Cheney, we decided that Condi needed some theme music to call her own.

Inspired by a recent Song Parody contest, The Garlic cues up the "Wives and Lovers", retitled for the occasion to "Neocon and Lovers".

Neocons and Lovers

Hey, little Condi
Comb your hair, fix your make-up
Soon he will open the door.
Don't think because
Theres a surge in Iraq,
You needn't try any more

For Neocons should always be lovers, too.
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you.
I'm warning you.

Day after day,
There's Cheney in his office,
And men will always be men.
Don't send him off
With your hair still in curlers.
You may not see him again.

For Neocons should always be lovers, too.
Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you.
Hes almost here.

Hey, little Condi
Better wear something pretty,
Something you'd wear to go to the Sit-Room.
And dim all the lights,
Pour the lies, start the spinning.
Time to get ready for Iran.

Oh, time to get ready,
Time to get ready,
Time to get ready
For Iran.


Links

Time Magazine - "The Weight Of The World"

Time Magazine - "This Can Be Done Through Diplomacy"

Rice's Rhetoric, in Full Retreat

Miss J's Newsvine Parody Contest - Song Lyrics

Top Ten Cloves: Things About Condoleezza Rice Becoming NFL Commissioner

The Garlic Celebrates 2nd Anniversary!

Well, it seems that we have survived the first two years, reasonably intact.

On one hand, I didn't know if I would keep this going this long. And on the other, it seems like yesterday and there's so much more to accomplish.

But rather than prattle on about one's self, I want to use this occasion to thank all of The Garlic's subscribers, readers, peekers, glancers and readers-on-the-fly, for taking to the time to visit and, when the moment has spurred you, to pass along praise or scorn, whichever befit the moment.

With such a bountiful of riches as The Garlic heads into Year Three, stay tuned. I will endeavor to continue to present the days' best offerings in the most entertaining manner I can muster.

Thank you again for reading and supporting The Garlic.


All-Time Top 5 Garlic Posts
(Based on PageViews and Search Engine placements)

Coulter Speaks (Sort Of)


Google Crashes! Besieged With “I’m Feeling Lucky” Searches From White House, Congress


Special Commentary: Welcome To Bushville …


Miller To Leave 'Times' With Movie Deal In Hand


Top Ten Cloves: What Would Be Different If Rumsfeld Was A Dog, But Still Secretary of Defense
















Logo Design by Sean Collins and TenTen Design

HuffIt! - New Huffington Post Feature ... Vote For The Garlic On HuffIt!

Very recently, The Huffington Post launched a new feature called HuffIt. This allows anyone on-line to post to HuffIt an article or such that you find. It works similar to other sites that aggregate content (such as Digg, Reddit and others).

While HuffIt is still in Beta, they did announce that the post on HuffIt that gets the most "Huffs", they will post it to the main Huffington Post site.

So, if you see something you like on The Garlic (or anywhere else), take it over to HuffIt!

And if you see something from The Garlic on HuffIt!, give it a "Huff".


Here are the links

HuffIt Main Page

Direct to JTD Profile Page

The Huffington Post


HuffIt! and The Huffington Post (as well as a bevy of great sites) are also on The Garlic's Link List, down in the righ column

Developing Story! Tancredo: Shut Down Super Bowl; Says Two Black Coaches "Amounts To Segregation"

Appeals To NFL Commissioner To Make Big Game "Color-Blind"; Biden Weighs In, Backs Coaches

Pregame preparations for Super Bowl XLI came to a screeching halt today, after Congressman Tom Tancredo (R-CO) threatened to seek a court injunction to ban the big game.

Tancredo is upset that, for the first time in its' history, the Super Bowl will be coached by two African-Americans.

On Sunday, in Miami, the Indianapolis Colts will face the Chicago Bears for the NFL Championship, led by Tony Dungy of the Colts and Lovie Smith with the Bears.

"It is utterly hypocritical for the NFL to extol the virtues of a color-blind league while officially sanctioning coaches that are based solely on race," said Tancredo.

Tancredo made his threats, to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, after reports the Congressman said were made to him, that freshman Rep. Stephen Cohen (D-TN ) could not join the coaching staffs of either Super Bowl team because he is white.

It's not clear if Tancredo is taking this action separately from his call last week, to abolish the Black and Hispanic Caucuses in Congress due to membership in the groups is based on race.

Cohen issued a statement, echoing one made by the National Review, saying "Tom Tancredo is an idiot."

Cohen states he has not applied for an NFL coaching job with Indianapolis or Chicago "or any other team."

"I plan on, like thousands of my constituents, of watching the game on television with family and friends."

Tancredo, in has call to abolish the Black and Hispanic Caucuses, cited a report that Cohen had applied for membership in the Black Caucus and was denied based on that he is white.

Senator Joe Biden (D-MD), who announced his intentions of running for president yesterday, came to the defense of Dungy and Smith, saying the first mainstream African American [coaches] who are articulate and bright and clean and nice-looking guys. I mean, that's a storybook, man."

Controversy is no stranger to Congressman Tancredo, who, in the past, has called for the United States to merge with Mexico and Canada, and for the bombing of Mecca. Rolling Stone Magazine has voted Tancredo one of the top Worst Congressmen.

Tancredo, a fierce advocate of stricter immigration laws, says that he "is angry."

The Colorado Congressman states he's asked the officials in Miami, officials in Florida, and even has been asked the White House, for some emergency funding and action to erect 7-miles of the 700-mile fence he's called for at the border, outside the Super Bowl.

"They'll be pouring into the Super Bowl," lamented Tancredo, "denying good, hard-working American citizens the chance to take a seat at the biggest game of the year."

Tancredo, when reached by The Garlic, would not confirm that he plans on halting the Super Bowl, however, he indicated that he has made arrangements for the Arizona Minutemen sit in lawn chairs outside of Joe Robbie Stadium in Miami, and monitor the fans attending the Super Bowel for any illegal immigrants.













"It is utterly hypocritical for the NFL to extol the virtues of a color-blind league while officially sanctioning coaches that are based solely on race," said Tancredo.

Top Ten Cloves: Ways Boston Spent Nearly A Million Dollars Dealing With Cartoon Ad Hoax

News Item: Froth, fear, and fury

10. Had to pay all the police and emergency personnel to stand around, while they waited for school to get out, and they could find a kid to tell them about the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force"

9. All the emergency vehicles mistakenly gassed up at Exxon stations

8. Got huge bill from FEMA, who immediately sent in trailer trucks full of ice

7. Took advice from Boston Red Sox, and entered into sweepstakes to bid on ace Japanese terror expert

6. Upon discovering it was guerrilla marketing", mistakenly rounded-up zoo experts from around the world for expensive satellite conference

5. Felix the Cat and his bag of tricks doesn't come cheap

4. Since it involved roadways and highways, automatically have to calculate costs on the Big Dig scale

3. Tens-of-thousands spent flying the cast of NBCs' "Heroes" into Boston, just in case the threat was real

2. In order to get White House to release Federal resources, got strong-armed into making donation to Bush Presidential Library

1. Chasing down false lead, spent thousands on renting DVD's and hired dozens to watch Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner cartoons, to see if device was anything from the Acme Company


Felix the Cat and his bag of tricks doesn't come cheap

Top Ten Cloves: Surprising Discoveries At New Stonehenge Site

News Item: Dig uncovers Stonehenge people's settlement

10. Remarkably, signs that, at least three residents who Scooter Libby spoke to about Valerie Plame before he declared so in his Grand Jury testimony

9. Definitive, but unspecified evidence of Ox-Cart Road Rage

8. Symbols etched in stone, from a Cheneyesque high priest or politician, carping about how "The Scots have Weapons of Total Destruction"

7. Tattered, decaying cookbook, scratched out on leaves: "How To Cook Good British Food People Will Eat"

6. Floorplans so small, researchers believe it was an early Condominium complex, based on a stone etching of dozen of rules

5. Symbols etched in stone, from a Cheneyesque high priest or politician that the war against the Scots has been "enormously successful"

4. Notes, or a list - Hengestone, Hengewall, Stones-In-A-Circle, Hengeapalooza, Stones-In-A-Blanket, Hengesapoppin!

3. Some type of ritualistic, or entertainment, implement, with a faint impression that bears a remarkable likeness to Michael Caine

2. Symbols etched in stone, from a Cheneyesque high priest or politician that he hit a friend in the face with a slingshot

1. A Geico Insurance office













Researchers were startled to find a tattered, decaying cookbook, scratched out on leaves: "How To Cook Good British Food People Will Eat"

Minced Garlic: New Keith Olbermann Special Comment - Bush shoots for ‘Jaws,’ delivers ‘Jaws 2’

Somewhat pedestrian Special Comment by our anchor-hero Keith Olbermann last evening.

That is not meant to question the sincerity of Mr. Olbermann, or his anger. Well-written and well-delivered, it was, as teased earlier in the broadcast, about the "nexus of politics and terror, a subject well-covered in previous 'Countdown' programs ( The nexus of politics and terror revisited, The Nexus of Politics and Terror).

On the other hand, can't quite create a quorum of other mainstream news people who have called out the President on his lies as much, or as eloquently, as Olbermann has, either in his normal news reports and with his heralded Special Comments, and he honed in last evening on our Decider, aka Decision-Maker's, State of the Union Address.

(And he does give a nod to David Swanson, press secretary for Dennis Kucinich’s 2004 presidential campaign, "who has blogged about the dubious 96 words in Mr. Bush’s address this year and who has concluded that of the four counter-terror claims the president made, he went 0-for-4.")

"West Yorkshire in England has a new chief police constable.

Upon his appointment, Sir Norman Bettison made one of the strangest comments of the year:

“The threat of terrorism,” he says, “is lurking out there like ‘Jaws 2.’”

Sir Norman did not exactly mine the richest ore for his analogy of warning. A critic once said of the flopping sequel to the classic film: “You’re gonna need a better screenplay.”

But this obscure British police official has reminded us that terrorism is still being sold to the public in that country — and in this — as if it were a thrilling horror movie and we were the naughty teenagers about to be its victims.

And it underscores the fact that President Bush took this tack, exactly a week ago tonight, in his terror-related passage in the State of the Union.

A passage that was almost lost amid all the talk about Iraq and health care and bipartisanship and the fellow who saved the stranger from an oncoming subway train in New York City.

But a passage ludicrous and deceitful. Frightening in its hollow conviction.

Frightening, in that the president who spoke it tried for “Jaws” but got “Jaws 2."

Olbermann proceeded to go into Bush's claims, quoting, first, from the SOTU, then, debunking it with facts, quoting official sources.

At one point, in discussing the Los Angeles Liberty Tower claim, and referencing Roger Cressey, the former staff director of counter-terrorism for the National Security Council, now a news analyst for NBC News and MSNBC, Olbermann illustrated the absurdity.

"In our conversation, he put the “Library Tower story” into a category he called the “What-Ifs” — as in the old “Saturday Night Live sketches that tested the range of comic absurdity:

What if ... Superman had worked for the Nazis?

What if ... Spartacus had had a Piper Cub during the battle against the Romans in 70 B.C.?"

One-by-one, Olbermann hung up President Bush's boasting of foiling terrorism like a pinata, and then whacked away at it, with facts, causing, not candy, but the truth to spill out.

"What you gave us a week ago tonight, sir, was not intelligence, but rather a walk-through of how speculation and innuendo, guesswork and paranoia, daydreaming and fear-mongering, combine in your mind and the minds of your government, into proof of your derring-do and your success against the terrorists.

The ones who didn’t have anthrax.

The ones who didn’t have plane tickets or passports.

The ones who didn’t have any clue, let alone any plots.

But they go now into our history books as the four terror schemes you’ve interrupted since 9/11.

They go into the collective consciousness as firm evidence of your diligence, of the necessity of your ham-handed treatment of our liberties, of the unavoidability of the 3,075 Americans dead in Iraq.

Congratulations, sir.

You are the hero of “Jaws 2.”

You have kept the Piper Cub out of the hands of Spartacus."


Links

Read or watch the video of Special Comment - Bush shoots for ‘Jaws,’ delivers ‘Jaws 2’

MSNBC Countdown with Keith Olbermann

The death of habeas corpus - Olbermann: ‘The president has now succeeded where no one has before’

Garlictorial - We’ll Need That Table