Top Ten Cloves: Things Overheard During Newly Elected Congressmen and Congresswomen’s Capital Hill Orientation

News Item: The Grand Tour of Their New House

10. Where did Jimmy Stewart sit when he came to Washington?

9. Whatever you do, if you have a disagreement, don’t ever write a letter to Senator John McCain, or you’ll be in for it

8. We don’t have any bridges ... How do I go about getting a big, fat earmark so I can put a Bridge-To-Nowhere in my district?

7. That is a pretty weird gift from President Bush - A framed picture of the dead terrorist, Zarqawi

6. Rush Limbaugh wants to interview me later ... Should I be prepared, I mean, is he going to be all shaking and whatnot?

5. I don’t golf, but if I lobbyist wants to take me to Scotland, should I go?

4. What time do we get to tour Cheney’s Secret Bunker? And can we take pictures?

3. Are we going to get to do anything or do we have to go along with whatever the Iraq Study Group comes up with?

2. You know of any place around here where a guy can get a good massage and some meth?

1. This place is cool ... If I ever have to run in primary, and I lose ... I’m pulling a Lieberman...

I don’t golf, but if I lobbyist wants to take me to Scotland, should I go?

Breaking News! Iraq Study Group: Iraq Do-Over To Come Before 2008 Race and Vote

Baker-Hamilton To Say “Start Over”; Reinstall Saddam And Retake Country, This Time With Plans

First Step Is To Reconstruct Baghdad To Pre-2003 Invasion Look; “Maintain a public front of “victory in Iraq”

Sources have shared with The Garlic a classified, first-draft of the pending Iraq-Study Group report that, stunningly, will call on President Bush to “start over” in Iraq

This, according to the draft, translates into reinstalling the recently-convicted Saddam Hussein, reinvading the country, only this time, with a plan for reconstruction and containing the insurgency.

Meeting this morning with the Iraq Study Group, headed by former Secretary of State James Baker and former Democratic Congressman Lee Hamilton, President Bush was said to be “lifted” by the panel’s briefing but said following it that "I'm not going to prejudge" the report the panel soon will issue.

President Bush also offered that he is encouraged by the report to continue with his “Hello, I Must Be Going” policy and to keep up the appearances that he is seeking advice, from multiple parties, both Republican and Democratic, on a solution for Iraq.

Study Group Pitches Plans to 2008 Elections; Cautions Bush To Cease Adding New Punctuation Into Iraq History

All of this is to take place, the draft dictates, before the 2008 Presidential election, so that, whoever is elected, can begin making plans and preparations, right at the juncture of Baghdad falling again and the recapture of Saddam Hussein.

This time, the draft says, the U.S. Forces will be greeted as liberators.

Baker and Hamilton write that the U.S. should continue with their “training of Iraqi Army” and, the “liberated”

The “liberated” referred to in the report, and unknown to the general public, has been that a certain percentage of the training conducted in Iraqi has, in fact, been auditioning regular Iraqi citizens to act “liberated”.

The Iraq Study Group Draft labels this as “essential” and “important, for television news footage to run behind the sound bites trumpeting the mission”.

To that end, the report suggests authorizing a budget to rebuild Iraq to the pre-2003 invasion, and replace and erect new statues of Saddam Hussein, for the purpose of having them ripped down during the “Liberation Celebration”.

This, notes the report, could be a point, says Baker, for President Bush, before he leaves office, to begin troop withdrawal from Iraq in order to burnish his legacy. Hamilton, is a dissenting opinion calls on the President to leave any troop withdrawing to the President-Elect, in order for that Commander-In-Chief to kick off his term on a positive note.

Both Baker and Hamilton agree that President Bush should cease inserting any commas, or other punctuation marks into Iraq history

New Box of Strategies and Seeds of Democracy To Be Recertified

Another section of the Iraq Study Group Report deals with the Bush Administrations problem with strategies.

Following the Inspector General’s report earlier this year, that indicated the White House was “out of strategies”, the group will leave with the President, a full compliment of new strategies that he can have at-the-ready. It’s not specified that the President will need to enact any of the strategies, or share them with Congress, or the next President-Elect.

Additionally, Baker and Hamilton have solved another White House problem of having “worthless seeds of democracy”, partially covered by the box of new strategies that will come with the final report. With this portion of the draft being redacted, it is clear that any new seeds of democracy that are used after the final report is issued will be certified as “good”.

Report Calls For “Maintain a public front of “victory in Iraq”; No Material In Draft On Iraqi Government Role

A surprising element of the Iraq Study Group draft shows that suggestions and recommendations by the group have already been undertaken by the President.

First comes the firing of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, most notably displayed in the report by references to “Secretary of Defense Gates”, that being former CIA Director Robert Gates, who is also a member of the Iraq Study Group.

Another calls for, in the event of the Republicans losing the Midterm elections, the White House to officially deny that the Iraq War was in any way responsible for the loss, and continue to put out “positive stories” and maintain a public front of “victory in Iraq, for this recommended plan to succeed.”

Lastly, it appears that security measures recently undertaken, and in coordination with DisneyBaghdad, came at the urging of the Iraq Study Group.

Although it was referenced in the Table of Contents with the draft reviewed by The Garlic, the corresponding section dealing with the Iraqi Government was missing or not included and there are sparse references to it in the other sections of the report.

The name “Ahmed Chalabi” appears frequently, as being part of the reinvasion of Iraq and there is one vague mention of “the opposition of Maliki” to a certain proposal in restaging the capture of Saddam Hussein and the implementation of an interim governing body.

It is widely speculated by those close to the White House and Pentagon, who has seen this draft report, that it remains a strong possibility the current Iraqi Government will be dissolved and the former Coalition Provisional Authority, L. Paul Bremer will be sent back to Iraq, to oversee the entire restaging of taking the country.

There’s also a reference to CIA Director General Michael V. Hayden, and that he continue to provide intelligence “in the manner the President has been accustomed to receiving.”

Report Has A Catch That Will Force Bush Into Action

The report wraps up with the advice to President Bush that he “strongly consider these recommendations” and acknowledges that he is under no obligation to do so, but with a catch.

If Bush does not enact the recommendations within 90-days, the Iraq Study Group will be free to market their plans to “any other third party”, opening the door for another country, possible the United Kingdom, or even Israel, taking over and being credited with downing Saddam Hussein and liberating Iraq.

“Oh, he’ll do it,” offered Harold "Ace" Larson, an analyst for the counterintelligence think tank, 'Book'em and Beat'em', and who has also seen the draft Iraq Study Group Report.

“He has too,” continued Larson. “He can’t have his legacy be both a failed domestic agenda, with Katrina being the flashing neon sign on that front, and then turning around and blowing Iraq ... Baker and Hamilton are bailing him out and it doesn’t matter how pissed off he may be about his father-thing, he’s gotta go with it.”

A leaked, draft copy of the Iraq Study Group Report suggests reinvading Iraq and authorizing a budget to rebuild the country to the pre-2003 invasion, and replace and erect new statues of Saddam Hussein, for the purpose of having them ripped down during the “Liberation Celebration”.

Chopped Garlic: Retro Bolton

Boy, they sure tore the bipartisan cup out of Bush’s hands pretty quick there last week, before he took too many sips from it (Editor’s Note: There’ll be a Garlictorial on this in the next day or two)

From his post-election day news conference, to meeting with the future leadership of the Congress ( Speaker Nancy Pelosi and then, the next day, Harry Reid and Dick Durban), it appeared that Bush had seen the light. Full speed ahead on working with the new congress, leaving Turd Blossom’s “The Math” in the rearview mirror.

So, what comes out of this new White House-version of bipartisanship? Demanding the confirmation of United Nations Ambassador John Bolton.

The Garlic riffed on this back in September (Top Ten Cloves: Ways White House Will Try To Keep John Bolton At The U.N.) so we need to wait and see if any of that comes into play.

In the meantime, stroll back to the Garlic Special - It’s A Bolton Kind Of Thursday! Our Man At The U.N. to catch up on the man, and next little firefight this Lame Duck Congress will engage in.

Does President Bush buck his pledge to work in a bipartisan fashion and ram through the Lame Duck Congress the confirmation of U.N. Ambassador John Bolton?

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 12 November 2006

In a stunning, and controversial, setback to his Acts of Atonement program, actor Mel Gibson blamed the Republican losses in the Midterm Elections on Jews
















No losses, only gains, for Senator Harry Reid (D-NV)

With the Democrats sweep back into the majority, and Reid all but set to become Senate Majority Leader, he can now properly call on to court White House Counsel, and one-time Supreme Court Candidate, Harriet Miers, who earlier had told Reid that she would not date him unless he became the leader in the Senate

Vice President Dick Cheney was reported to have a hard time accepting the Midterm elections results

It wasn't until longtime aide David Addington framed it as "the Nazi Appeasers" won, that Cheney understood the broad sweep of the Democrats

Fox News Honcho Roger Ailes announced that with the Republican Party now in the minority for the next two-years, Fox News will be referred to as the "Unfair and Unbalanced News Network"

RNC Chairman Ken Mehlman, who announced this week he will be stepping down from his post, is reported to be on the short list to replace the Reverend Ted Haggard in the National Association of Evangelicals, Mehlman is said to be excited over the prospects of the "Big Three M's" - Megachurch, Massages and Meth

Still bristling over his firing, but remaining committed to his work, outgoing Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld took reporters on a short plane ride, to put to rest rumors, and demonstrate just how suspected terrorists travel when they undergo Extraordinary Rendition

Of Things Said, and Just What Type Of Math Are You Using There, Mr. Rove? ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

President Bush’s rather abrupt turn to projected bipartisanship (Hey, it’s not a done deal just yet) immediately following the Midterm Elections kind of took the venom out of the Karl Rove-Ken Mehlman-built Smear Machine.

Rove may have had, and is holding to his story, “The Math”, but if you're President Bush, and roughly 60% of the country cited you as the reason they voted out the Republicans, making barbs about measuring for drapes, or having some bimbo giggle “Call Me” doesn’t quite add up to being presidential.

Hence, the steam of The Garlic’s Weekly Poll took a serious hit this past week, as the Freak Show was quiet and then there was the matter of fitting now-former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld for his well-earned, and well-deserved, Scapegoat Suit (and, quite likely, looking over and coordinating schedules, setting a time to give him a Medal of Freedom Award)

Note To The Remaining Bush Administration: When the President says of you that you’re “Doing a heck-of-a-job” or a “Fantastic Job”, that’s the signal to start packing up your desk and calling the headhunters. No need to wait for the “ding”, you’re toast ...

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll October 29 - November 4 2006

Coming down to the wire, President Bush and his administration will, in all likelihood, spin the guilty verdict of Saddam Hussein in these last two days before the Midterm elections by...

1. Nancy Pelosi didn’t care about capturing Saddam or putting him on trial... She’s too busy measuring for drapes Tally 31%

2. Saying that if the Democrats had captured Saddam, John Kerry would probably want to send him to college Tally 29%

3. Harold Ford Jr. wants to take Saddam to a football game, and meet some girls, before he’s hanged Tally 22%

4. Since he already found some, Rick Santorum has a plan, for squeezing a death row confession from Saddam on where the rest of the WMD’s are hidden Tally 18%

This week’s Poll - To ease the transition for President Bush to change over to Bipartisanship for the remaining time of his term, the White House will probably...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Okay Vanna, Let's Turn Them All Over And See What We Have ... The Garlic's Election Endorsements

Stick to the day job, right?

With this past week’s elections, The Garlic stuck its stem out (if you noticed, down along the right sidebar) with, more-or-less, the endorsement of certain candidates.

Some were out-and-out favorites, a few roots for the home team and then more, like Claire McCaskill, Jim Webb and Sherrod Brown, were just urging on some good people.

A few, much to our chagrin, didn’t make, like Tammy Duckworth, Harold Ford Jr. and Patty Wetterling. And then, of course, the major dud of a disappointment, Ned Lamont.

In the end, we went 9-5 with our Garlic Endorsements.

And we’ll live with that ... We won’t ask for a recount.

The Winners

Ted Kennedy

Deval Patrick

Sherrod Brown

Jim Webb

Claire McCaskill

John Murtha

Bob Casey

Bob Menendez

Maria Cantwell

Those That Didn’t Win

Tammy Duckworth

Kinky Friedman

Harold Ford Jr.

Patty Wetterling

Ned Lamont

Bush Said To Be “Invigorated”. Ready To Tackle Issues

Post Election, Staying With New Policy, Bush Pushes Old Agenda

Says Voters Sounded Mandate to Press Lame Duck Congress To Approve Bolton And Sanction Wiretapping

White House insiders are telling The Garlic that, after a rough patch the past week, or so, President Bush is feeling “invigorated” and “has gotten the message” from voters this week.

With this new mandate, yet staying with the new “Hello, I Must Be Going” policy, the President is calling on the Lame Duck session of Congress to confirm United Nations Ambassador John Bolton and, among a hodge-podge of bills, to sanction and approve his Illegal Wiretapping Program, otherwise known as the Terrorist Surveillance Program.

“The voters this week,” said one Senior White House official, “have clearly told the President they want these things. The combination of the Domestic Terrorist Surveillance and having Ambassador Bolton in place, has made the United Nations safer ... It hasn’t been attacked in the past year.”

“He’s already alienated a lot of us, offered Hugh P. Varicator, a consultant with the conservative hawkish think tank, “Cry Wolf”, that is said to be closely affiliated with The Project for the New American Century (PNAC), and, some say, may be an adjunct to the White House Iraq Group, or WHIG, “with firing Rumsfeld. . He needs to send a strong message to the terrorists and he can do that by keeping up the wiretapping and keep Bolton on-board.”

Soon-To-Be Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) and newly-minted Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) were outraged when advised of the President’s planned agenda.

“Maybe,” said Speaker Pelosi, “rather then talking about measuring drapes, the President should open his, there, in the Oval Office. It’s a new day and he doesn’t control the agenda.”

Majority Leader Reid was more blunt.

”The ink has dried up for his rubber stamp. If he wants to take a swing at us now, he’s going to get swung back at, and all the Signing Statements in the world aren’t going to be much help to him. They’ll have to come up for what is worse, what’s lower than Lame Duck if he tries to play games with us.”

Series of Bush-Cheney Gaffes Added To “Thumpin”

The White House is looking at the call to the Lame Duck Congress as a means to get the President back on track, after a series of stumbles, and then the “thumpin’” the GOP took in the Midterm elections, losing the majority in both the House and the Senate.

First there was Vice President Dick Cheney, in a radio interview, endorsing the use of torture, waterboarding, during the interrogation of terror suspects. The Vice President issued a clarification but, with the President confusing audiences on the campaign trail with his calls to “Just Say No”, causing widespread drug raids, was drowned out.

Then, the gaffe meter registered a toss-up, between the dust-up with Senator John Kerry (D-MA) on whether Kerry was insulting the U.S. Troops, or challenging the intellect of the President and, in the final days of the campaign, the discovery of how the Bush Administration placed documents on their “Operation Iraqi Freedom Document Portal” Website that offered detailed instructions on how to build a nuclear device.

Rumsfeld and Rove Factor Into Loss

Lastly, the President has enraged fellow Republicans with his firing - the day after the Midterm Elections - of Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, believing, had the President done it sooner, it could have favored GOP candidates in certain races.

“You have to throw in there,” offered Holly Martins, Publisher of Axis of Evil Illustrated, a quarterly publication, that is rumored to be a house magazine for the Project for The New American Century “that Special White House Guru Karl Rove didn’t come up with an October Surprise. There’s a lot of hostility over that.”

Rove, instead, offered the GOP candidates, not just any reading of the polling data, but the application of Rove’s “The Math” that the man called ‘Bush’s Brain” projected would give the GOP a clear-cut victory in the Midterms.

“Rove couldn’t have done any worse,” said David Aaronson, editor of 'What Color Is My Coat Today?', the Capital Hill Newsletter that tracks politicians who turn on their own party, “then if he went around and poked every Republican candidate in the eye with a stick.”

It’s not clear if President Bush truly believes he has a mandate to push Bolton and the Wiretapping through the Lame Duck Congress, or, as he has recently admitted, he’s lying simply to move the agenda forward.

“That’s the beauty of the “Hello, I Must Be Going” policy,” said Aaronson. “The President can say one thing one day, then come back the next day and deny he ever said the first thing the day before. It’s maddening, but, hey, it’s worked for them so I suppose they’ll stay running with it.”













Now down to just the “Two Amigos”, President Bush is attempting to push his old agenda through the Lame Duck Congress

Top Ten Cloves: Reasons President Bush Believes GOP Lost The Midterm Elections

News Item: The Thumpees Try Their Luck at the Blame Game

10. Didn’t break out the Zarqawi Photo in the final days, to remind people that we caught him and made the country safer

9. Karl Rove went out and used some kind of new-fangled “The Math” and we don’t know what the hell he was counting

8. We should have come out first, and claimed John Kerry was stupid

7. Holding back putting the documents about Mushroom Clouds on the “Operation Iraqi Freedom Document Portal” Website hurt us

6. Cheney, and that wife of his, trying to sell her book right in the heat of the campaign

5. We didn’t do anything wrong, it was just one of those "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" voting things

4. I could have started denying we said “Stay The Course” earlier

3. Tony Snow banging his head on the podium... Made us look like idiots

2. Preoccupied with how I was going to tell Donald Rumsfeld he was fired

1. If Michael J. Fox never went out and got Parkinson Disease, then Rush Limbaugh never would have had to make a fuss over it

We didn’t do anything wrong, it was just one of those "Ek-A-Lec-Tic" voting things

Top Ten Cloves: Things Karl Rove Did As Last Night’s Elections Results Rolled In

News Item: Karl Rove's Reputation May Be on the Line

10. Made note to call Cheney in the morning and recommend that he get a good lawyer

9. Get those @#$!%&! Diebold guys in here and find out what happened!

8. Thought about grabbing a couple of really big FBI Agents and going over into Virginia and kicking George Allen’s ass

7. Began to viciously smear himself

6. Stopped smearing himself, called every losing GOP candidate and viciously smeared them

5. Looked at his options and started testing out the phrase “McCain’s Brain”

4. Debated with Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld that they should have announced Saddam Hussein guilty earlier this summer and then hanged him two-days before the elections

3. Lamented not putting out the rumor that Claire McCaskill was a lesbian

2. Called Joe Lieberman and told him what’s-what, that they would be collecting on all the support the White House gave him

1. Hunted for Ted Haggard’s phone number so he could see about getting a massage and some crystal meth to get through the night

As the Democrats rolled to take the House Majority, and likely the Senate as well, last evening, Karl Rove looked at his options and started testing out the phrase “McCain’s Brain”

Breaking News! Developing Story! White House Rerunning 2000 Post Election Plans

Bush Unhinged, Huddles With Lawyers And Preps Briefs To Contest Election Results

With GOP Losing House, Tighter Senate, Appeal Will Be Filed; Snow: “What Worked in 2000 Can Work Again”

As election results continue to pour, showing the Democrats taking the majority in Congress, and a tightening of the gap in the Senate, sources tell the Garlic that President George Bush has been clearly agitated, distraught, constantly getting on “The Google” and checking races still undecided.

At various points during the evening, the President, wearing his flightsuit, openly lamented that he would be a “lame duck” during the final two-years of his presidency and that his “Bush Doctrine” was going down the drain.

Reportedly, when staff could calm the President down, he has huddled with Vice President Dick Cheney and Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, and it is expected that the Bush Administration will be filing briefs when the Courts open tomorrow morning, contesting every losing Republican campaign.

Joe Lieberman, the former Democratic Senator from Connecticut, who has, apparently, won his Independent reelection, quickly said he would be in favor of the White House “taking advantage of our Judiciary Branch” to settle any disparities, and in particular, may join the proceedings as a “Friend of the Court”, but only if “it still means I win my election.”

“We’re hearing all kinds of things”, says Hildy Johnson, editor of the monthly newsletter “What Did He Say Now?” that tracks and reviews President Bush’s speeches and interviews.

One unconfirmed report had the President on “The Google” for hours, alternately looking up elections results, repeatedly hitting the “I’m Feeling Lucky” bar, as well as using ‘The Google Earth”, to stare endless at the satellite photos of his Crawford Ranch.

Another had the President barking at staff, that he was to be notified immediately, when either John Kerry or Al Gore conceded, apparently confusing tonight’s elections with his own campaigns of 2000 and 2004.

According to Johnson, it was a telephone call from Attorney Ben Ginsberg, who represented the Bush Team in appealing the 2000 election to the Supreme Court, which sparked the White House into considering contesting the entire slate of losing GOP races.

“My sources are telling me,” said Johnson, “that after the Ginsberg call, Gonzalez, and Cheney’s Cheney, David Addington, began making copies of the briefs that were filed to the Supreme Court in 2000, and simply making minor edits to align the complaints with the individual and particular races conducted today.”

“Now, hold on there,” a battered White House Press Secretary Tony Snow cautioned a group of reporters. “We’re not saying anybody is doing anything ... Now, I’m not in the room, making policy but what I think the President is looking at is what has worked over the years, what’s in the past that can be used in the future ... Who can say ... I mean, no one can say that what worked in 2000, won’t work again ... It’s all about our new strategy, exploring and being flexible ...”

The gambit, according to many political experts, in filing hundreds of lawsuits is that the White House, joined by the RNC, can intimidate some of the Democratic winners, painting them as against freedom and democracy, and, placing an enormous financial burden on them, and their depleted campaign war chests.

“It’s all the RNC and Rove - and Fox News - at this point,” offered Eddie Mars, editor of 'Please Shoot Me', the newsletter that tracks the Fox News Channel. They’ll have no mercy, they’ll be looking to cut these guys to pieces.

In a related matter, now former Senator Rick Santorum (R-PA), who was defeated today by challenger Bob Casey, announced that he has been hired as a consultant by the National Association of Evangelicals and New Life Church, to harass former pastor Ted Haggard, and to hunt and root out any other ministers who may be gay.

More As This Story Develops

Please, use The Garlic Link List to visit sites, such as The Huffington Post, The Raw Story, The Nation, The Reaction and The Moderate Voice for updates and more information on the races still undecided at the time of this post.

At various points during the evening, the President, wearing his flightsuit, openly lamented that he would be a “lame duck” during the final two-years of his presidency and that his “Bush Doctrine” was going down the drain.

Minced Garlic - Keith Olbermann Special Comment: Where are the checks, balances?

No doubt, with all that campaigning - for candidates that don’t want to be seen with him - President Bush hasn't had much time to be working “The Google” - or to place more documents on the web that shows how to build a nuclear weapon.

If he had, he probably could have looked up all the reasons he’s told us over the past few years on why we invaded, and are occupying Iraq - Just like our anchor-hero, MSNBC’s ‘Countdown’ host, Mr. Keith Olbermann, with his Special Comment earlier this evening, ‘Where are the checks, balances?’

Not overlooking the “I’m-Shocked-Shocked-To-Find-Gambling-Going-On-Here” coincidence of the Saddam verdict being announced two-days before the Midterm elections, Olbermann rattled them off, peeling them like an onion and throwing them down at the feet of our Liar-In-Chief.

Is the conviction of Saddam Hussein the reason you went to war in Iraq?

Or did you go to war in Iraq because of the weapons of mass destruction that did not exist?

Or did you go to war in Iraq because of the connection between Iraq and al-Qaida that did not exist?

Or did you go to war in Iraq to break the bonds of tyranny there, while installing the mechanisms of tyranny here?

Or did you go to war in Iraq because you felt the need to wreak vengeance against somebody, anybody?

Or did you go to war in Iraq to contain a rogue state which, months earlier, your own administration had declared had been fully contained by sanctions?

Or did you go to war in Iraq to keep gas prices down?

Funny, as Olbermann delves into, in the final days of campaigning, Oil comes into play, as our Court-Appointed President now offers we have to “Stay The Course”, if only to keep the Oil Markets stable, and out of the hands of “terrorists”

Having frightened us, having bullied us, having lied to us, having ignored and rewritten the Constitution under our noses, having stayed the course, having denied you’ve stayed the course, having belittled us about "timelines" but instead extolled "benchmarks," you’ve now resorted, sir, to this?

We must stay in Iraq to save the $2 gallon of gas?

After reminding the President (as well as anyone viewing) that the Founding Fathers of this country set the whole works up with “checks and balances” (A House of Representatives would be the people's eyes. A Senate would be the corrective force on that House. An executive would do the work, and hold the Constitution to his chest like his child. A Supreme Court would oversee it all) to which this President, and his administration, has roundly ignored, we, the people still hold a card in the game;

Voting.

Get out there tomorrow and cast it, before Bush has time to get back on “The Google” and throws another one out there.

Links

Keith Olbermann’s Special Comment - Where are the checks, balances?

Scroll Down The Right-Side-Bar To Read Previous Minced Garlic’s

Top Ten Cloves: Ways James Dobson Will Cure Ted Haggard And Offer "Spiritual Restoration"

News Item: James Dobson, 2 Mega-Church Pastors To Lead Haggard's "Spiritual Restoration"...

10. Immediately, have him take down his MySpace profile, “LonelyPastor15”

9. Movie Intervention - Entire weekend viewing of the complete DVD Library of John Wayne films

8. Can you say NASCAR?

7. Lots of appearances on Dr. Laura’s radio show

6. Mandatory attendance at the next Liberty Sunday event

5. Before NFL season ends, have Haggard do Desperate Housewives commercial with Nicolette Sheridan in towel

4. New attire - Plaid Shirts, Chino Pants, Mac Truck Hats and a big, ol’ wad of chaw stuck in his cheek

3. Just in case, have Pat Robertson work up one of his special curses, and have it ready

2. Need to go all the way back to the beginning; Sentence Haggard to a summer at Jesus Camp

1. If all else fails, pay-off Miller Lite to get the men in the Square Room to pass a new Man Law, that it’s okay to get a massage and do crystal meth with a gay male escort

Spiritual Restoration or Man Law lies at the end of Ted Haggard's road

Weekend Special - Sautéed Cloves 5 November 2006

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is expected to announce this week a new plan to secure Baghdad by deploying "slingshooters" throughout the city














Former Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz said that he feels "justified" in his beliefs that it was the right thing to do in invading and occupying Iraq and went on to predict that the "hanging of Saddam Hussein should pay for itself"














Already fighting of charges that they orchestrated the verdict of Hussein to come before the Midterm elections, the Bush Administration has a new scandal to deal with, as Under Secretary of State for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs Karen Hughes has been charged with "scalping" tickets to the Saddam hanging














The Bush Administration is going a step further in their plans to not allow detainees to speak about their "robust interrogations" and have put forward a program to also sew their eyes shut













"Me? ... You'll be a Lame Duck Vice President there smiley ... Put that in your Secret Bunker and smoke it!"


















In the "Can't-Catch-A-Break" department, former Vice President Al Gore, for the two-days his collegaue, Senator John Kerry, was engulfed in his "botched joke" snafu, Gore frantically waved at reporters and television cameras, in an effort to take the attention away from Kerry, but to no avail - the media ignored Gore

Speaker Pelosi, Best You Make Like A Hockey Player This Week, And Skate With Your Head Up ... The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll

Boy does it seem that the Republicans have a thing about sex? ... If it isn’t a Congressman, or a supportive Evangelist Minister, then it’s the whispers and innuendo...

They’ve already thrown the sexist stuff at her, the comments about “measuring for drapes” ... We anticipate we’ll see a peak - check that - a monsoon of grief hurled at Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi, before the final votes are cast on Tuesday ...

Another sizzling (Oops, there we go taunting the GOP again) vote this past week in The Garlic’s Weekly Poll

The Results - The Garlic's Weekly Poll October 29 - November 4 2006

With the campaigns coming down to the final week, and indications showing that the House, at least, will go to the Democrats, and elevating Nancy Pelosi to House Speaker, Pelosi can expect the RNC and GOP to ....

1. Run a new commercial in Tennessee intimating that she shacked up with Harold Ford Jr. Tally 28%

2. Baselessly charge that she supplied illegal drugs to Michael J. Fox for his television commercials Tally 27%

3. Say, that since she comes from San Francisco, it must have been Pelosi that wrote about steamy lesbian scenes, and not Lynne Cheney Tally 23%

3. Conduct a massive, last-minute mailing, warning that, if Pelosi is elected Speaker, she’ll let the terrorists into the country and will force people into Same-Sex Marriages Tally 23%

This week’s Poll - Coming down to the wire, President Bush and his administration will, in all likelihood, spin the guilty verdict of Saddam Hussein in these last two days before the Midterm elections by...

Scroll up to the top right corner to place your vote

Two more days to throw the mud around

Editor’s Note - The Nation’s “Bring Democracy Home”

Good Evening Garlic Fans

Unless you’ve been dangerously obsessed with ‘Dancing With The Stars’, you’re likely well aware that the 2006 Midterm Elections are taking place this coming Tuesday (Nov. 7^th).

Equally, you’ve likely seen the stories about the questions of the new electronic voting machines (or caught the HBO Documentary, ”Hacking Democracy”), you know about the questionable (and at times, out-and-out dirty tricks; Yes, were talking about you, Florida and Ohio) practices of past elections.

Katrina vanden Heuvel, Editor & Publisher of The Nation has a wonderfully editorial that you should take a read on.

Here’s a teaser on it;

The American people are waking up and realizing that for all the Bush Administration's talk of promoting democracy abroad, the US electoral system fails to do the same at home. With the approach of the midterm elections, there is justified alarm about the vulnerabilities of electronic voting machines but this is just one of myriad problems, many of them long-standing, that cry out for reform.

So, in the spirit of democracy promotion at home, in the new issue of The Nation editor Katrina vanden Heuvel offers ten ideas for how to repair and strengthen our broken voting system. Read and circulate them widely.

The Garlic is doing its’ part in circulating them. Take a few minutes to read, and then forward to your friends.

The Nation’s “Bring Democracy Home”

Oh yeah, be sure to vote on Tuesday. If we want to make a change, we need every vote possible.